Organizing for Back to School for 2e / Neurodivergent Learners

At the July 2025 PHP REEL Support Group, Leisa, a 2e/neurodivergent parent and professional from Calm in Chaos Co who specializes in organizing spaces for neurodivergent brains and lifestyles, spoke about organizing for back to school.

She follows a “strengths-based” philosophy. "What strengths do I have and how can I use my strengths and awareness of struggles to organize our spaces to work for us?"

She offered great tips like, “take sensory sensitivity into consideration when designing your study space." "What kind of seating options does your ADHD child have (a variety)?" "Is the lighting comfortable?" "Start small."

---

Read the transcript here

Okay, there we go. So, a little bit about me. Um, I am a mom of two kids who have ADHD. I have ADHD. My husband has ADHD.

Both my brother and sister have been diagnosed with ADHD ADHD and we have a variety of anxiety and um sort of co-diagnosis autism in there with all of us as well. So I think we definitely fall in the 2E category. I have been an entrepreneur and I have been involved with community building for moms since about 2008. So when I think about, you know, organizing, it's hard to think about like why would we organize um for neurodivergent populations, there's so many other things that we're dealing with. So many like really challenging basic things.

I'm seeing lots of things about, you know, school refusal. Um and so it's hard to kind of think about, well, what does it matter how neat the bookshelf is, right? But there's a lot of studies that are coming out that are showing that if you reduce um baseline stimulation and anxiety that it improves general outcomes for neurodivergent folks. So in other words, if they if we feel less challenged by our immediate surroundings, we have more resources to spend on things that are actually fulfilling and interesting and we can use these amazing minds and special skills for amazing things rather than, you know, drowning in mail or feeling overwhelmed by um our study space. So what is organizing for neurode divergent minds?

Um, I think, sorry, I'm struggling here with my notes. For me, it's creating systems and spaces that reduce stress, um, support the challenge areas, and really leverage the unique strengths. So a lot of typical organizing strategies with you know pretty boxes and labels that may not work for neurode divergent um populations and that can really feel like a failure. You know all these people are telling you to fold your shirts in a different way and you can't even get your shirts into the drawer. So um really being able to look at something that's tailored for people whose brains work differently and and that can mean a lot of different things.

ADHD, autism, sensory processing challenges. Um there's a lot of different flavors of neurode divergence, but for me it in doing my research, it looks like there's a lot of crossover in terms of sensory needs and um executive function challenges that are common in these populations. So I've been helping family and friends do this for a lot of time and I've done a lot of thinking and researching about this. Um, I have started a business doing this, but I'm coming here today as a mom and um, sharing experiences of what has worked with my family. And I'll also use some um, examples from clients that I've worked with as as well.

So, the first thing I want to say is that there's good news and there's bad news. The bad news is I don't have the answer for you. There is not a perfect way of doing this. The good news is that there are lots of answers to this. There's a lot of right ways to do this and I really my goal is to help you learn how to identify and deploy some of that.

So, we're going to start with iteration over perfection. Um, and this is the idea that there is no perfect solution. Like, how many times have you ordered that, you know, planner that is going to be the planner and now you're going to be super organized and you get all your stuff in it and then it's like, no, that wasn't it. It doesn't mean it wasn't it. it just maybe means that it stopped working for a certain reason.

So, you know, really normalizing the challenges that come along with neuro neurode divergence. Um, it can be hard for ADHD kids to wake up in the morning and it's not cuz they're bad or wrong or lazy or any of that. It's just chemically can be really challenging for ADHD brains to wake up. So, how do we normalize that? you know, missing instruction during class, emotional regulation challenges.

Um, that's not kids failing. That's not us failing. I certainly have challenges in some of those areas, but it's data. It's a challenge and it's some information. So, I encourage you to be a detective.

Look at the data. Um, look at what they're being challenged by. Are they coming home from school and having meltdowns? Is there procrastination preventing them from homework completion? Why?

what's happening, you know, find out the information. A lot of times, um, we like in my family, we talk a lot about adaptive versus maladaptive strategies, and frequently they're two sides of the same coin. You know, you hear the strengths become weaknesses overused. It's the same idea. You know, think about the fidget that, you know, helps a child focus in class, but then, you know, the clicking is too much or they start throwing it and then it becomes a distraction.

We have experience with a, you know, balanced chair that became a gymnastics apparatus, right? It helped focus until then it became the distraction. Um, my son uses a drawing journal. That's his fidget in class. And it we learned a lot with that because he it would help him focus while he was drawing, but he had to be really careful about what he was drawing because if it was too interesting and exciting, then he would hyperfocus on that and not pay attention in the classroom.

So really talking to him about how that strength of recognizing that the drawing was helping him pay attention then got overused and so he needs to be mindful about how he uses it. So that's an example of being a detective and really identifying those strengths. And I want to be honest, you know, for myself, for other parents that I've talked to, sometimes identifying strengths can be challenging. Not because they're not there, but the world around us is telling us that we're doing things wrong. You know, if you've got kids and you've had IEP or 504 meetings, you know, you've heard about your child's deficits and, you know, places where they're not at grade level and it can be really tempting to focus on all of that, but within those, there's a lot of strengths.

So, being really able to step back and some of those clues are in some of their maladaptive strategies. So for me personally, I'm a huge procrastinator and I have been my whole life. I'm a late diagnosed ADHD and it was something I was really hard on myself about. So I really had to as I learned as I, you know, did more research, I understood that the procrastination was actually a strategy, but I was really short circuiting it because I'd start procrastinating and then tell myself, well, you're not going to get anything done today. Just forget it.

But what was actually going on is I was doing what are called entry tasks. So dopamine is a challenge for ADHD. So I was doing small tasks that I could achieve and create success and create dopamine and then I would be able to do the harder tasks once I was able to focus a little bit better. So what I thought was a weakness is actually something that I've been able to leverage as a strength. So, I really encourage you to take a look at those things with kids and see use that data to um help you iterate and help you, you know, figure out how to make things a little bit easier.

So, I've talked a little bit about dopamine and and it looks like from the chat that there's a lot of different um sort of experiences here and levels of experience like some kids have been diagnosed for a long time, some kids are newly diagnosed or in the diagnosis process. So, just briefly, dopamine is a reward chemical in the brain. ADHD brains specifically seek dopamine. Um, and it's there the jury's out. It's either because there's low levels or it's possibly processed differently.

Um, this is why they seek novel experiences. Mundane, boring tasks are hard. But also, research is suggesting that ADHD brains don't produce the same level of dopamine after task completion. So, what that means is that, you know, you finish doing something, ADHD brains don't send the chemical to go, "Woohoo, you're done." Um, like they do with with neurotypical brains. And that can make it really hard to form regular habits.

So, while consistency and routine is is um something I'm going to talk about is important, it's also something that's really challenging. So, um, being able to create dopamine rewards with music, creating novel experiences, or just by changing the routine, the iteration that I was talking about can help with the executive functioning that comes from increased dopamine production for especially ADHD. Um, I call this next one delight in design and it really speaks to the sensory um, challenges that kind of overlap a lot of the um, the diagnoses and the challenges that we're talking here. You know, do you have a particular smell that reminds you of a of a memory? You know, I was a child of the 80s, so there's some hairspray that reminds me of eighth grade homecoming.

Um but for our kids, for me as well, those sensory that stimulation can be really height heightened and sensory feedback, sensory needs are generally more intense in neurode divergent individuals. So that sweater that itches for a neurode divergent kid, it doesn't just itch, it like shortcircuits their brain and means that they can't pay attention for the whole day. So, it's important to understand that that discomfort is strong. Um, and it's important to consider that in spaces. So, whether that's how the chair feels, where the light sources are, what they feel like, are they warm, are they cold, smells in the room, colors, they're all really impactful.

You know, my son is very particular about which pen or pencil he uses. And not only because it, you know, decreases negative kind of sensory experiences, but it's also a dopamine source because he likes it and he likes how it feels and it makes him feel good and excited about using that pencil or pen. So, this is a really good opportunity and a good space to get your kids involved in. You know, lots of them have really strong opinions about how their space works, how their room looks. So, you know, use that and really have conversations with them about your observations and their observations about their sensory needs.

So, you can start having that conversation and building that awareness in them and then iterating, you know, systems and spaces based on what you learn from that. Um, kind of piggybacking off of that is reducing friction. So, sensory needs can create friction. You know, think about how things are used. um you know, they don't like how the binder feels.

The zipper gets stuck every time they try and open their binder. There's too many steps to putting clothes away. If they're having to open the drawer, fold it, and you know, do nine things before they can put the clothes away, the clothes aren't getting putting away. Um having a lid on a trash can mean the trash doesn't make it into the trash can. Same thing with laundry.

So, really looking at, you know, what stops them from using systems in their room or in their spaces. Um, plan for decision fatigue. That means being required to make a lot of decisions can really tax executive function and deplete energy. Um, it can be by reducing clutter. It can be, you know, try to have a home for things, a consistent place to put things.

Um, that can reduce the number of decisions that they're having to make. Um, and that can mean that they have energy to do other things. Uh I call this next one needsbased visibility. So this is something that I've observed and I think it's true for lots of populations. Um that there is some like you know time blindness and object kind of blindness.

Um this comes into play especially with like study spaces, homework management, room cleanliness. You can't have all the things on the desk, right? You can't have all of the things visible in the closet. So really think prioritize the things that are on the desk or visible in the closet by the frequency of use and then split it up by things they'll seek versus things they need to see to remember that they exist. So an example of that is you know my son will seek his favorite jacket, right?

He is also particular about socks. So he was just grabbing whatever socks were on top in the drawer and frequently they were not the socks. They were ones that made him crazy. So, we made a basket of socks that he loved and they are out and he can see them and he can access them quickly and then that makes a big difference in his day. Sometimes it's big, sometimes it's small.

So, a quick example, you know, you come home from school, you um you have a backpack full of items, you're overwhelmed from the day, and then you have to decide where to put the backpack, where to put your shoes, what to have for snack. And that can sort of that can be it that puts them over the edge and you know some emotional regulation or challenging things happen. So having a consistent place for the backpack do the same routine unpacking the backpack every day. The lunch bag goes on the counter, the homework folder goes on the desk, but maybe you have, you know, two or three versions of this. One for the day where they're having a like I got it kind of day and they can do all the things.

and then for a I don't got it and I'm totally overwhelmed kind of day and the backpack goes on the hook and you know they go off and do something else and come back to the backpack later. But there's a there's a routine and a consistency for it. In terms of study spaces, like I said, how does it feel? How does it function? Um my son wants clean spaces.

My daughter likes it cozy and lots of things and, you know, smells and candles. So, really think through what that looks and feels like for them. It needs to feel inviting. And similar kind of ideas around, you know, homework and school management. Like I said, how does that binder feel?

Lots of ADHD kids especially do their homework, forget to give it to their teacher. Talk through how or why that's happening. Is it a whole folder they need to give them as soon as they arrive in the classroom? you know, for middle schoolers, is it multiple folders? Um, and really kind of try and problem solve how that works.

You know, is the binder pinching? Is it too loud? Like I said, does the zipper not work? All of those things can impact their ability to manage um some of these systems. So, how do you make this happen?

How do you, you know, help your twoe kid become more organized? Are you I can't believe I was out cold like I woke up and I was like my mouth like open like Whoops. Somebody needs to mute. Does somebody need to mute their phone there? Okay.

Um motivational interviewing techniques. You've probably learned some of these at work with reflexive listening, open-ended questions, affirming, you know, really trying to have an open conversation where you're not putting any shoulds in there. You're not judging it. You're not telling them what to do. You're talking through their thoughts about it.

Maybe some awareness about their, you know, sensory needs. Um, to help them head in a direction of problem solving, especially at first, being able to minimize transitions. Um, don't don't you know change their whole room all at once. Don't expect everything to change all at the same time. Pick some things where they can have some easy quick success.

Um, and it may be that the priorities you work towards the priorities, but you don't start with the priorities depending on you how manageable those things are. And then plan to maintain and scaffold them especially at first. So like if you have expectations around room cleanliness, you get the room to a certain point with their input and then every night you make a cup of tea, you play some music, you make it fun, you make it happy, and you do a 5 minute, literally 5 minute room reset. And initially you're sort of talking it through with them, you're showing them where things go. And then you're stepping back and you're letting them do more of it.

It's called scaffolding. And then, you know, as they get better at it, you're maybe then just talking them through the steps and then you're stepping out of the room and you're just checking in with them every now and then, helping them have some, you know, accountability, helping them maintain a routine, and then helping them doing some problem solving and really noticing when things stop working. And then that's when you start iterating. So, um, I'm going to come back to the concrete tips if we have time. Um, so generally let's um, you know, to to wrap it up because I think I'm close here.

Be a detective. Iterate. There's no perfect way to do things. Um, change things as their needs, their challenges, their strengths, the demands on them from school change. Notice when something stops working.

Delay in design. Incorporate all of those sensory needs, whether it's in how their room looks or how the objects that they're using feel. Reduce the friction. Why is something not being used? Why is something not working?

And then figuring out how to make that better. And then planning for decision fatigue and know that they are not going to be able to do all the things every day. And and this is an important process, right? I told you there's not going to be a perfect solution, but it's a process that you two go together. And while you are reducing baseline stress and that's the goal, there's also a really um great kind of added benefit of this is that you're helping them learn some self-awareness and self- advocacy skills which becomes important as they get older and you know we've all been in IEP meetings or a lot of us have 504 meetings and when they can speak up for their own accommodations and really recognize you know sitting in the front of a room doesn't work for me.

sitting in the back of the room works for me because I need to stand up. Those become really powerful things and there those aren't things that I can know about their classroom experience. But if they're able to be aware of like this isn't working for me, this is how it feels when it doesn't work for me and here's some things that I know about myself that you know I can really leverage my strengths to make this better. Um that that is a really wonderful outcome of this. So, if we can continue to help them learn how to trust themselves and not be short circuited by the shoulds that they're experiencing all around them, I think that that's a that's an important part of this.

So, this is me. Uh my fear is that, you know, I'm going to be one more should in your life. And that's really not what I want to be. Um I am constantly iterating. I am constantly not perfect.

I am constantly challenged. This is my current kitchen counter. and my desk as I was getting ready for this presentation. So, I encourage you to give yourself grace. I encourage you to give yourself time and space to learn skills that you may not have that will help you scaffold for your kids.

And, you know, reaching out to groups like this and um you know, parent coaches in your community can can really help. So, thank you