After the Diagnosis: Guiding Children Toward a Positive Neurodivergent Identity
- REEL Team
- 1 day ago
- 42 min read
Read the transcript here
1. About REAL & Introduction to 2E
Yael Valek [0:35]
Okay, welcome everybody to After the Diagnosis, Guiding Children Toward a Positive Neurodivergent Identity. In case you're not familiar with REAL, we are a nonprofit located in Silicon Valley that ensures twice-exceptional students thrive in school by raising parent and educator awareness and understanding of practical, research-based strategies to address their needs successfully. And just in case you're not familiar with 2E, or twice exceptionality, we use the Bridges definition, and that is a green child that is made up of the yellow distinguishing strengths, high abilities or potential in one or more areas, combined with blue complex challenges such as dyslexia, ADHD, anxiety, autism, and they combine together to make A complex child, that requires both the yellow and the blue to be addressed simultaneously in order to meet their needs, especially academically, and that So it is the challenge of meeting the green child.
So, to support parents, we have an expert speaker series, like the one you're attending today, and you can sign up to attend future sessions or watch recordings of past ones. We also have a bi-monthly Zoom parent support group where we break out by age and interest areas. We also have a private Google group, which just reached 1,000 local parents, where you can ask questions and get answers, from anything from what school do you recommend for my child, to…
we have a thread now about autistic burnout going on. We also offer parent toolkits that you can download on a variety of subjects, such as, we just received a diagnosis, or how to talk to our schools, or how to highlight my kids' strengths. We have a lot of online resources, such as an IEP guide, a guide to assessments, and things like that.
And then we have a schools list that we maintain. This is a local schools list, and all kinds of articles about how to pick schools for your children. Those are all free. The only things we charge fees for are small facilitated learning groups.
There is one coming up in April about executive function. It was limited to 8 participants, and then we do one-on-one consultations, on any topic that you'd like. And then this is Abby's putting in the chat our link to our parent toolkits, just so you can get an idea of what kind of things you'll get if you download these.
So here's now what? I just got a diagnosis. What does 2E mean? How do I navigate the school system? For educators, we offer custom professional development.
You can bring REEL to your school. We often do an Introduction to 2E workshop that has learning different simulations and interactive case studies. We also have a lot of online resources, recorded talks, and a bi-monthly educator newsletter.
REEL has developed this educator model called the Dear Real Model that talks about how developing connection, embracing flexibility, attending to strengths, and reframing behaviors all support not only two e-learners, but all learners in the classroom, and you can download this on our site. So, we are in the middle of our winter-spring events. We are kicking off Neurodiversity Celebration Week today with Dr.
Greeter. We also have, as I mentioned, the Executive Functioning Facilitated Group coming in April, and the third of our writing series this year, When Writing Feels Hard, Science-Based Strategies for Managing Emotions in two e-writers. And on May 4th, Star Wars Day, we will have Curiosity, Connection, and Confidence, A New Path to Motivation for 2E kids, and you can sign up for those on our website. And our last support group of this school year is on May 7th.
All of those are available on our website. And we want to thank everyone who donated, before coming here. Real is a non-profit, and these events are all put on by your generous donations, so please consider donating if you enjoy our events.
And for the first time ever, we are hosting a Real Comedy Night on May 1st. It is in person, up here in San Carlos, California, and we are going to have the Bay Area's only dyslexic, stuttering comedian, Nina G, so we really hope you can join us for that. Abby's putting links in the chat.
And I think we already shared these. You can follow us, on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and see our past recordings on YouTube, and join our Google group. And now, I would like to introduce Dr.
Greeter.
Introduction of Dr. Greeter
Stacey Greeter, MD, is a double board certified in both child and adolescent and adult psychiatry, and owns a group psychiatric practice in Sarasota, Florida. She speaks from both her lived experience as an autistic, ADHD, and OCD individual, and as a clinician. Dr. Greeter graduated summa cum laude from Duke University and went on to the University of North Carolina School of Medicine on a full scholarship.
Dr. Greta completed her residency at Northwestern Memorial Hospital and continued there to complete her subspecialty fellowship in child and adolescent psychiatry. She believes in cross-pollination of knowledge between disciplines, creating safe space for safe, candid conversations on controversial mental health issues, and runs a multidisciplinary mental health professionals book club, and co-hosts the podcast Chronically real and clinically relevant. Dr. Reeder teaches at Lake Erie College of Medicine and Florida State University, is on the board of directors for Autism Career Pathways at NAMI Sarasota Manatee County, and on the leadership team of Autistic Doctors International.
Dr. Greeter uses metaphors from fantasy universes such as Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and The Little Mermaid to make psychiatric concepts accessible and engaging through her Educational Psychiatry Boot Camp series. We're so excited to have you, Dr. Greeter.
3. Dr. Greeter's Presentation
Stacy Greeter, MD [6:26]
Thank you so much, Yale, I really appreciate it. Everybody can hear me okay? See my slides okay? Good? Yeah? So, I was just thinking, like, it's really a gift every time I get to do a presentation, because it's like there's, A young child in me that was not heard, that gets to have a voice in adulthood to speak for other kids.
So thank you for that. And as you mentioned, I was a very early diagnosed ADHD and late. Diagnosed, autistic individual. I think… I'm hoping, we can do more.
I think… I think that there's a lot… when I was in training, certainly in my residency and my fellowship training, the emphasis was about Obtaining a diagnosis, and very little guidance on how to help people develop a healthy identity after the diagnosis. So we're going over that today.
Come look through my Audi HD lenses. That's me. I think that's Disney World. Yep, the ears probably gave it away.
So… I… and that… that picture on the little… on the left, that's, like, age 4 or 5, I'm in a ballet recital in this picture, dressed as a cat. The photo was taken… Shortly before I was kicked out of ballet.
For, being too hyperactive and not following directions well enough. and this was not a loss to the ballet world, because I also had apraxia and was quite clumsy. And then it was… it was around age 5 or 6 that I was…
I was given my diagnosis. I remember my mom took Mucide and said I had a, chemical… there was, like, chemicals missing from my brain. And so I needed to take a medicine that would help replace some of the chemicals missing from my brain.
It wouldn't fully fix it. And it was probably related to me being premature, was what she thought. I was a 28-week gestation baby, actually, so quite premature. So my… childhood concept of myself.
And again, lots of grace and compassion, for my caregivers, because this is… I was born in 1983. So, this is, like, this would be, like, 1989-ish, okay, that I'm getting my diagnosis for the first time. I thought about scrambled eggs.
Okay, and I imagined my brain was, like, under the undercooked eggs. They did not cook long enough. I was not in the womb long enough.
And other kids had these perfectly light, fluffy, organized brains. And there's nothing I can do about it. I just have to do the best I can with my undercooked brains.
To try to… Match other kids' perfectly cooked brains as best I can. So… The harms of a deficit-based model, some people… are referring to the deficit-based model as the medical model.
I'm trying to get away from that because I think it sort of sets people up To misunderstand and think that neurodiversity-affirming care is anti-medicine, which of course it isn't, and call it more of the, like. Maybe try to make everybody normal model, or the model that focuses on deficits and doesn't talk about strengths and acknowledge the benefit of neurodiversity for a society. So the deficit, the harms are being left feeling broken.
Misunderstood, and hopeless about one's future. That your body and brain are just not right. And you're in… we'll contrast this, With neurodiversity, a farming model.
Neurodiversity affirming being that we acknowledge both the strengths and the vulnerabilities of having a neurotype that is different from the most common neurotype. we are able to have a balanced perspective. The goal of treatment is not to make the individual look as neurotypical as possible.
But for the individual to be living their most authentic, fulfilled, functional, in relationship with others' life. I… I'll be honest, it was an extremely humbling… Experience for me as a child psychiatrist, having my autism diagnosis at age 40.
I thought… that I was a, quote, expert. in autism, I did research, fMRI studies, on autism, when I was in medical school. And focused, focused on the autistic population a lot during my learning.
And… yet… Had no idea that I, myself, was autistic. And in… Facing this diagnosis in myself, I think… I think the hardest part… for me was actually having to acknowledge the autism diagnoses that I missed in my patients.
Which was missed opportunities for them. So, I share that because… I… medicine is forever changing. Psychiatry is forever changing.
And the things that we know, or think we know, about autism, ADHD, dyslexia today. Get ready for them to be different 10 years from now. So I just try to really be ready to be wrong.
And really open to… to being… being wrong. You know… I'll also share before going on to the next slide. you know, I was taught… In my medical school and residency and fellowship training, in psychiatry, that autistic people lack theory of mind.
And so, thus, you know, will struggle with empathy. So, of course, I thought, yeah, you know. I can't be autistic, I'm a psychiatrist.
I mean, I live and breathe empathy and theory of mind. I constantly put people in the minds… put myself in the minds of others.
Now, you've probably heard of the double empathy problem, that I will summarize, which just basically means that… It's not that autistic people lack theory of mind, but that understanding the perspective of a neurotype that's different from your own is very tricky. And I think autistic empathy is a complex topic.
Which I can't cover completely in this presentation. But that has been a really key, I think, change in our understanding of autism. And enabled me to really change my understanding of myself.
When I… I… I… how did I… you know, it's fascinating how I realized I was autistic. in adulthood, I had just done a presentation, on eating disorders. And… because I wanted to learn more about eating disorders.
And, I have a hobby of taking a deep dive into a different psychiatry topic, turning it into a fantasy-themed story-based presentation. And then picking a new psychiatry topic to do a deep dive in. And yet I still didn't know I was autistic.
But the person who did my psychological assessment did point out to me that spending weekends making a Little Mermaid-themed autism presentation is not generally a neurotypical pastime. So, I was actually making a Harry Potter themed autism presentation at the time. And so I'm like, I'm gonna consume all the information I can find about autism and tell a story about Hermione Granger discovering she's autistic in adulthood.
And… I discovered that I was basically reading about myself. And… I… as a child. Learned to focus a lot on other people's minds, and kind of like a little people detective of, like, what's going on in the minds of others. What do people need? What do people feel?
What do other people think? Which, of course, became a whole career in… Psychiatry, as an adult. Fun fact… A lot. Of psychiatrists are autistic.
They may not know it, though. So… I had turned, my strategy for surviving my childhood, being a very intense people detective to figure out what the neurotypicals expected of me. Into a career in psychiatry. In the organization I'm part of, Autistic Doctors International, dis…
Second most common specialty is psychiatry. Family medicine, I think, is first, simply because there are just so many more family medicine physicians. Then psychiatric physicians kind of in existence in the group.
And… I would say receiving this diagnosis in adulthood, It felt like… Finally, finding a neurological home. Like… things that I always thought were weird, idiosyncratic, confusing.
All came together in a cohesive… narrative. That made sense. Based on my different brain. It was extremely freeing. and…
I… M… really driven, I think, to advocate for helping families. Share this information with their child and talk about it in affirming ways that help them build that identity. Because this information, I would say, is one of the single most, like, life-changing things that has happened to me, my diagnosis in adulthood.
So… just the understanding that my brain is not broken. I'm not… selfish, or rude, or etc. It's… It's different. It's both a blessing and a curse.
And… Most impactful was… Finding community. being able to talk to others who are autistic and ADHD, And see my experiences mirrored. In their experiences. That there are people for whom my experience of the world made complete sense to them.
And was not… alien. Community is so key, and it can be really hard to find. I remember when I was a… you know, I was a little kid. And there was a lot of talk when I was a little kid about making friends.
And I needed to, you know, are you able to make friends? So I remember, my teacher would be like, I, I, I… she'd be like, Stacy. You gotta go make friends.
And I'd be like, alright, yes ma'am. Teacher said, make friends, so I scanned the playground. who looks the most lonely on this playground, right?
They're my target person, because the person who's the most, you know, outcast and lonely is going to be the person least likely to reject me, and I would just, you know. Trod up to said person. Hello, I am Stacy. Would you like to be a friend?
And they said yes, and I said, excellent, I am done. See, teacher, made friend. Alright, can I go back to talking about science now? And more interesting things? And, I, ironically.
There was… there is a teacher, I will never forget this teacher, of course. You never forget the teachers who have this… Special impact on you. And her name was Mrs.
Corden. And… She let me just sit there at recess and ask her questions about science. And just tell her stuff. about science. Info dumping to my little heart's content.
And everybody, thought this behavior was really weird. And, ironically, Those were the times when I felt the most connected and the least alone. when I wasn't doing this… this so-called making friend task.
So understanding, I think, that I connect differently. No less… And certainly just as deep. Sometimes it maybe feels even deeper at times when you find those people, those neuro-spicy people you just zing with.
And helping… So if I could, if I could, like, reach back into the past, and be like, it's okay, childhood, Stacy! There will be a day… Someday, where you find a place to belong. That it's okay that that day is not today.
It will happen. Someday. You can find people to belong with. And diagnosis aids that. Oops. Okay, so explaining a diagnosis.
That's a picture of me with my rocking horse. Named Anna. I would spend many hours on this rocking horse, rocking back and forth, in my imagination. like, 4 or 5 hours at a time. Rocking, rocking, rocking, rocking.
And nobody knew I was autistic, right? You're like, obviously that kid is stimming, non-stop. I think that… There's a whole other presentation that could be, like, how little autistic, intelligent autistic little girls get missed, especially when they're ADHD.
But I… I think that it was a combination of, A, we didn't understand much at all about, intelligent autistic girlies back then, and also, People will find many, many other things As an excuse for differences. I actually… I grew up in a neighborhood that was, predominantly a non-white neighborhood. And so people were like, well, she's just a weird white kid.
And that must be what, you know, weird, smart white kids are like. Ethnic minorities, are much… have a much higher risk of being misdiagnosed and missed, during their childhood years. I like to use weird metaphors in explaining diagnoses, helping people try to understand, like, how is a diagnosis of dyslexia, autism, ADHD, different?
Then a diagnosis of depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder. So… Sometimes using the metaphor of a computer, right? A computer may get some faulty software on it.
That can be deleted. So, you can get depression, You can fully treat. depression. Recover from the depression, taper off your medicine for depression, go about your way. But autism versus neurotypical, or ADHD versus neurotypical, or dyslexia versus neurotypical is having a completely different operating system, like an Apple computer versus a PC computer.
Now, medication. So… Earlier in this presentation, I described to you how medication was explained to me. We… your chemicals are messed up. We've got to fix those chemicals by giving you some chemicals to take, okay?
And… Honestly, the chemical imbalance explanation for why people need to take a certain medicine is really common, and really messed up. Because where is the person's agency there? autonomy. So, as a kiddo, I used to cheek my medicine, my ADHD medicine, and spit it out.
I wanted to show that I could do it on my own, without medicine. I wanted to… Really be the real unmedicated me, the true me. This is not uncommon at all. I was also, I had no say in whether or not to take the medicine, what dosage of medicine, no one got any feedback from me about how I felt about being on the medicine, and I was significantly over-medicated.
How do we know if a kid, is over-medicated? Overly inhibited. Like, losing their light, or losing their creative spark. Adhd meds in particular, this is just one example of many psychiatric meds, but we'll talk about stimulants to make it simple, okay?
They're like a Goldilocks medicine, alright? Too little medicine… You're all over the place. your attention jumps around, and you're disinhibited.
Too much medicine and your attention is too stuck, and you're overly inhibited, such that emotions are flat. People call it a so-called zombie effect. So, A, let me just note that that is not something that you should have to tolerate.
Oh, sorry, I just got scared, like… there is a, like, really loud lightning that just hit outside. Anyways, So, if you're not getting…
if you feel like your child is losing a significant part of their personality from a medicine, the medicine needs to be changed. And… when I explain medicine to kids, kids are really concerned about competency. autonomy. authenticity and agency.
Also, adults are very concerned about this, too. Okay. So I'll use a metaphor of a colorblind painter. Okay, so he's colorblind. But he's still a pretty good painter.
He gets the glasses that help him see color. Oh, suddenly the painting becomes much more complex. and detailed. Who gets credit?
for the painting. It's so important. to give kids Credit. Because… Like, when we're talking about the medicine, it can be so easy to be like, oh, these grades are awesome, your medicine is working so well. Well, what about… no, I'm working!
I'm working really hard. So I always distinguish, like, the medicine makes it It's possible for you to choose what you focus on and what you tune out. Does the medicine do the work for you? Does the medicine choose what you focus on?
No. It just gives you… Option. So, so we're centering, agency, self-agency there. And getting feedback. Should kids make the decision of whether or not they take medicine?
No. kids should not make the decision of whether or not they take medicine any more than kids get to completely make the decision of whether they brush their teeth, or whether they get a vaccination, etc, okay? So, but, as much as possible. We want kids to have as much choice as possible. So, giving options about, you know.
Time of day, different types of medicine, liquid, chewable, getting feedback about how they feel on the medicine. So the more credit you give to the child for the improvements. The less likely they are to want to quit their medicine.
There's a lot of fear about medicating children. and… I have disclosed to some of the families who I am treating. that I was an over-medicated child.
And… That's changed my relationship to medicine. For the rest of my life, understandably. And in sharing that, seems to be the most impact…
I mean, I could share this or that data about the benefits of medication for depression, anxiety, and ADHD till I'm blue in the face. And… but what makes the big difference to people and families, I think, is just knowing that I'm a child who's been there, and so I don't want to do that to any other child. Parents are often, that's me around age 9, Parents are often very worried about a label.
I get that. And it's… It's okay. to grieve? Like, this isn't what we signed up for. That is 100%… Healthy. Recognizing, though, that Kids, we know we're different.
And without the label of a diagnosis, We get labels like… Rude. weird. My nickname in elementary school was Spacey Stacy. Misfit. Too intense, selfish, oppositional, difficult.
When we are giving a diagnosis, we are controlling what people… how people see that label. Perceptive, analytical, brave, independent, honest, and expert in certain areas. Persistent, logical, creative.
Helping peop… helping our kids have a balanced understanding of both their strengths. and vulnerabilities. Apparently, so another fun story, apparently, I, really… when I was talking to Santa Claus, my grandmother was nearby.
She was doing that thing that adults do where they listen in, like, you ask Santa Claus for something, and then she's gonna, like. She's gonna listen in, and she's gonna make it happen, and then the magic happens, right? So… so she's listening. What is Stacy gonna ask Santa Claus for?
And, My poor grandma, I asked Santa Claus for the ability to never grow old and die. And then, my grandma's like, what about a doll? And… and I really doubled down, too.
I'm like, no, I need… I want the ability to never have to grow old and die. Like, this guy is magic. Why would I waste a magic man on a wish for a doll? So, yeah. And yet, nobody understood that I was neurodivergent back then.
After the diagnosis, I have… I go through some, reflection questions with people. This can apply to any diagnosis. Autism just happens to be kind of like a placeholder here.
I'm going to share kind of some of my answers, and I welcome, if people feel like putting in the chat. some of what they think, their answers would be. There may be a lot of neurodivergent parents in this group, I imagine.
Making neurodivergent kids. So, in the past, I thought… that I was… Really bad at traveling. And… I used to get really cranky.
with my husband, at the airport, and I said, I'm just, like, a shitty traveler. Then… With my autism diagnosis. I was like, huh, do I have sensory issues?
I don't have any sensory differences. But then I thought about it, and I realized, if I'm at the airport. And I wear sunglasses and noise-canceling headphones.
I am no longer snapping at my husband. I, in the past, I thought I was just a bad traveler. And now I know that I have sensory differences, and if I accommodate those sensory differences.
I am nicer to my husband at the airport. Now that I know that I'm autistic, I can give myself grace. when I'm at… A social event, like, you know, Sarasota County Medical Society meeting, And…
people ask me what's going on, and I start info-dumping about some psychiatry stuff, and I see their eyes glaze over a little bit. Because I relate differently. And… They relate by doing the small talk thing.
And… it's okay. It's okay if I accidentally info dump sometimes. I can… Like, now, knowing this diagnosis. Really intentionally spend a lot of time connecting with people who also like to info dump.
And maybe info dump about the same areas, too. I… when the… in the past, when people thought, that… I was being, rude or selfish. In reality, I realize…
that… There's… a huge amount of misunderstandings that happen, when you don't share a neurotype. There's a huge amount of complex context. Dependent. Communication. That gets missed.
For me, Best parts? Of being autistic. and ADHD and OCD. Just FYI, not my only diagnosis, but the best parts? Of being autistic. I think are, like, the intense…
joy when I'm deep into my special interest of psychiatry. And learning about it, and teaching about it. to others. The hardest parts? Of being autistic, for me.
Is the chronic illness and physical issues, the autoimmune disorders, the fibromyalgia, the chronic rashes. And hives, and, the, like… energy drain. From stuff that isn't draining for other people.
And… you know, knowing that I'm autistic, and I exist in a different body… different… sensory needs… Different physical needs, including, like, rest. I can hopefully… Be kinder to myself, and more compassionate.
about how I'm parenting, My son, and how my husband can Be up at night. in… not have an energy drain, and I… Have much more needs for rest.
And solitude at times. So… These are things… that I'm hoping, we can help our children process through over time. Of course, questions would maybe need to be altered depending on different developmental stages.
But… Receiving the diagnosis. is just… the beginning. So… Is there anyone like me out there? So Hans Christian Andersen, who wrote The Little Mermaid, The Ugly Duckling, You know, we can never diagnose people posthumously, but…
It is hypothesized that the dude was definitely neurodivergent, okay? So you remember the, the ugly duckling? It's like, I discovered I wasn't really an ugly duckling.
I was a swan instead, when I found other swans. So, the importance of connecting people to neurodivergent role models who are thriving, So, so important. I love to refer people to the Divergent Conversations podcast, the How To ADHD YouTube channel.
Like, find videos of neurodivergent people who have your child's diagnosis. Who can… who can mirror their experience? Kind of like a unicorn and a herd of horses.
You f- you finally get… a sense. Of a place to belong. And a people to belong with. It's funny, right before I came on, Yale was mentioning that the last time she saw me, I was dressed up as the Little Mermaid.
So there I am, dressed up as the Little Mermaid. And, you know, on my YouTube channel, I do have a Little Mermaid video about Ariel discovering her autism diagnosis in adulthood. And so that's me. All the people in that photo are autistic.
I think… If there's… if there's any message that I can convey tonight, just that there is hope. that there are times I've been… I've been in that place where I feel completely outcast, incomprehensible, alien, and I have found people whom I feel connected, seen, and understood by.
So… To really hone in on what does neurodiversity affirming, mean, and how this changes our approach. DSM-5, Criteria lists highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus. And a deficit-based model of care.
an approach would say, well, we need to behaviorally suppress talking about special interests or stimming to appear more neurotypical. In an affirming model. we encourage connection through special interests. Like, my second grade teacher was connecting with me about science.
And awareness that Acting neurotypical and masking is a tool. Masking is not the correct way to be. But it is important to understand how to do in order to survive in this world.
And… To give ourselves grace. that it's hard to do. Like, it's hard for me, at times, to do those Sarasota County Medical Society networking thingies, And… I'm gonna need, like, recovery time afterwards.
And… but it's important. so… I want to spend a lot of time… maybe running a little… I wanted to spend a lot of time with questions. So, I think… I think I kinda covered everything.
This is a little… this is a picture how, you know, sharing about our special interests, collecting information about it, is like… I feel like it's, like, I have a plant photosynthesizing. And then having to… Suppress that innate way of being.
Feels like being completely uprooted. Like, in an environment that I cannot survive. In that if we only have a neurotypical perspective on a neurodivergent life.
It can be, like, a bird trying to save a fish. from drowning. It's so important to have A huge range of perspectives. So that we're not inadvertently Treating or suppressing, something that is actually needed to be healthy and fulfilling and authentic.
So we need to really carefully assess A child's internal experience, and the purpose and meaning of a particular behavior or symptom before we treat it. That's what we mean by neurodiversity affirming care. Alright, some cool books. I just…
I just finished reading The Dyslexic Advantage, and it's so good. Your Brain's Not Broken is a great one on ADHD for younger kiddos. Wonderfully Wired Brains is a great introduction to the world of neurodiversity.
And then… and some brains. Tiffany Hammond, has this book, about, autistics who don't use mouth words to communicate. So… I'm going to stop and then just take some questions, check out the chat. I'll stop sharing so I can actually see people's faces, too, if people want to go off video for me. I really appreciate you letting me take the time to speak with you.
Yael Valek [48:30]
Thank you, Stacy. I just love your slides. They're so,
Stacy Greeter, MD [48:33]
Thanks, Yale.
Yael Valek [48:34]
creative and so inspiring, and so wonderful to hear from your voice. I have two ADHD children, and it's wonderful to have role models like you. Thanks. the… Big question that came out is, I…
so I have a 6.5-year-old, 2E, ADHD, RSD anxiety. She just wants to belong. How do you recommend telling her about the diagnosis when she doesn't want to be different? Someone else said, same with me. world.
Stacy Greeter, MD [49:07]
Cool. Well, I think that… So, I think… First of all, allowing people… it's very, very healthy to not want to be different, right?
Like, it is harder to be different. And especially in, I think, in childhood even more so than in adulthood, comparing ourselves to others. It's extremely common to see if we're good enough compared to our peers.
And any signs that we don't belong with our peers are especially painful. So, leaning in to that pain, allowing her to share that pain, and maybe grief, too, that she's different. And giving her time, time to process.
I think… sometimes it's confusing. People think that being neurodiversity affirming means we only talk about the good parts of being neurodivergent, and it's really important to give children space to talk about the painful parts. Of being neurodivergent. So just clearly this is a kid who recognizes that she's different, and is struggling with that.
And so allowing her to give voice to that. And then really trying to see if there could be some cool, healthy role models of, ADHD people enjoying being ADHD, for her to connect with. People really connect with personal stories a lot more easily than facts.
So… Finding some other stories for her to connect to, I think is really helpful.
4. Q&A — Language & Age-Appropriate Communication
Yael Valek [51:09]
I'm curious, too, you mentioned, the different operating systems. What language would you recommend using? Let's say it sounds like there's somebody here with a 6-year-old and somebody here with an 11-year-old.
Stacy Greeter, MD [51:21]
rates.
Yael Valek [51:22]
sounded out as a teenager. What actual words, do you use to talk about this with the child?
Stacy Greeter, MD [51:30]
I wonder which ones, whatever, maybe something that fits their special interest, you know? Like, I don't know, someone said they had a special interest in, like… Yeah, I would have to… I would have to kind of, like, make it kind of a case-by-case basis.
You know, a lot of 6-year-olds… They might like… Mmm… I don't know if I have really the best metaphors, but I think Just beginning to open a conversation about their brain being different than a lot of brains. And helping them talk about different characters and different stories.
I use CommonSenseMedia.org to maybe find, like, I look up, you know, which are the best books for 6-year-olds that have a dyslexic character in them. And then you could talk about that character. You know, which are the best books?
for 11-year-olds that have ADHD characters in them, and you guys could read that together and talk about the ADHD character. Who did my testing? I hope I can remember the name of the person who did my testing. I'm trying to remember their name.
I'm sorry, I'm blanking on the name of the person who did my testing. It's hard to get really good testing, and so you really want to get, like… I got a referral from a good therapist friend of mine who is also autistic.
It was Amy something. I know her first name was Amy. I'll see if I can find it. I'll see if I can Google her. Sorry, go ahead, y'all, with the questions.
Yael Valek [53:26]
Well, I wanted to share when you put up the exercise, some people replied.
Stacy Greeter, MD [53:32]
Oh, please, thank you.
Yael Valek [53:34]
The hardest part of being ADHD for me is remembering details from a conversation. I'm so busy trying to figure out what someone is saying, I can only take away a one-sentence summary, and I have no idea about the rest of what the person said.
Stacy Greeter, MD [53:48]
And then you miss things. A lot of things.
Yael Valek [53:55]
I know there was another one. I'm scrolling through looking for it. Do you see it, Abby?
Abby Kirigin [54:02]
Sure, you want another one? Yeah. There's also another question, which I put in our doc, but the other comment I saw was somebody… this one has a number of additional comments, so we can discuss them, but the hardest part for my daughter is feeling out of control with her emotional regulation, and that comes with a lot of shame and feeling useless.
Yeah. Another person chimed in that they agree emotional dysregulation leads to meltdowns, shame, and embarrassment. So, yeah.
5. Q&A — Emotional Regulation & Shame
Stacy Greeter, MD [54:30]
I mean, I do kind of have a metaphor for that. like I say, you're not weak, you're just carrying heavier, like, weights. Like, let's say you go to the gym, and you're looking around.
And people are weightlifting, and you think that you're weaker than the other people, and it turns out, even though your… the weights you're lifting look exactly the same, you suddenly realize that yours are twice as heavy. As a metaphor for meltdowns, right?
Like, it might look on the surface. That you're emotionally more sensitive. But… The emotional impact, physical impact.
is much more intense for you than that other person, so helping people to understand that. Like, you're not weak. It's just in this way, you're carrying a much heavier weight. Looks like the same weight, but nope, it's a lot heavier. Yeah.
6. Q&A — When & How to Share a Diagnosis
Yael Valek [55:35]
So, when is the right time to talk about a diagnosis? Meaning, is it casual, like at dinner? How do you approach it? How do you start it?
Stacy Greeter, MD [55:44]
Yeah. I think being as casual as possible in how you talk about it is great, and it's like… it's an invitation to talk, okay? Kind of like… You hold the door open, but you don't pull them through it, right?
I think talking about examples of other people, it's really great. And then, you know, asking them, like, did you ever think you might be different in certain ways? How do you think you're different?
How do you think you're the same? You know, well, we found out this from the doctor, that your brain is really awesome at X, Y, and Z, and Your brain has a lot harder time than other brains with A, B, and C. What does that mean? How is that for you?
It can take… time, and a lot of repetition. I feel like Earlier, it's discussed. The better, because we definitely don't want to…
As much as possible, give the impression that it's a taboo or shameful, hidden, topic. I also, ironically. this happens in my office all the time. The parents are like, oh my gosh, how do I tell my kid?
What is their reaction gonna be like? I'm like, we can do it together at the next appointment, it's all good. You know? And the parents are like, oh my gosh, my mind is blown, my kid is dyslexic, ADHD, autistic, da-da-da.
And then, next appointment, kid comes in. And they're like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. Cool. Alright. Whatever. You know, not always, of course, but, like, most of the time.
The taboo and the narrative that we have about neurodivergence as adults. Carry all of this, like, lifetime of stigma, and the kids don't have that lifetime of stigma yet. So, adults have, like, a harder time processing this than the kids do, often.
And it's okay if they're just kind of like, oh, okay, whatevs, alright. Cool. Whatever you say. That's what that's called. Yeah.
7. Q&A — Adult Diagnosis & Self-Discovery
Yael Valek [58:20]
So true. Someone said, what prompted you to get tested as an adult?
Stacy Greeter, MD [58:27]
Yeah. Well, you know, I was making that presentation and doing my research on autism, and it kept sounding like me. And then… I… I… I mean, you know, and I respect self-diagnosis, but for me. I really wanted an outside perspective that wasn't my own.
As confirmation, and I think I felt, like, especially… What's the word? Like… Mmm… I wanted to be especially conscientious about it. I didn't want to take… the label of autism lightly.
And I wanted to really more accurately understand the lens through which I view other people. As a neurodivergent lens, and… and then also as a very… publicly, publicly out as autistic person, I didn't want to misrepresent myself.
So for me, formal diagnosis was important, and I also found… formal diagnosis validating, and yet, still, there's, like, I don't know. times when I'm like, am I really autistic?
Am I… should I get a second formal evaluation? No. And then I'm like, okay, Stacy, that's kind of ridiculous. You could… I can get, like, I don't know, 5 formal evaluations, and still there's gonna be, like, a tiny part of me that's like, well…
am I really? So that's also okay. It's okay to have, like, A part that's still… unsure. Diagnosis is not clear-cut.
Like, we make it seem like, oh. we have ruled in, or ruled out, this diagnosis, and that's kind of bonkers and BS, because people are messy and complex and not clear-cut, so diagnosis is always just our best educated guess of what label to put on a person. So that kind of digressed. Sorry. But yeah, I think we're in here.
Yael Valek [1:00:44]
I have heard my child, who has memorized things in his special areas.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:00:49]
Yeah.
Yael Valek [1:00:50]
say things like, oh, that was my autistic brain, like, that helped me memorize and know so much about this. So, of course, we have the painful parts as well, but it's great to hear. Any thoughts on how to help a late-diagnosed teen find community or role models?
8. Q&A — Community, Comparison & Identity
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:01:08]
So, I know that, AANE, has some groups. and, like, if you Google, there's, like, a lot of online, groups. I wonder also if they have an interest, like, I don't know if they have an interest in…
someone mentioned sharks. Like, can they get together? Is there a place where you find other people who are really into sharks? Because we generally connect through our special interests.
I think it can also just take time, and encouraging people, like, friendships? It's kind of like you're dating, but for friends, as opposed to, like, dating for a romantic partner, and it's… it's like… Most of the people you meet.
they're not gonna be the right fit for you as a friend. So, I mean, kind of normalizing that, like, this is gonna take longer. it's going to be harder to find your people.
Your people are out there. There's a lot of online communities, which, of course, we have to be careful about, because there's unsafe stuff and predators online, but I think a lot of… Autistic people are connecting online, because you have access to so many more diversity of people. on the internet. So you can go to, I don't know, Shark website for Shark Talk to find the shark people.
Maybe on the internet, when you can't really, like. find the shark people in Sarasota, Florida. I feel… I feel really blessed, To have connected to a bunch of autistic mental health professionals.
and ADHD mental health professionals, and I actually… I mean, sometimes you have to form your own group. I made a group For neurodivergent psychiatrists to hang out.
Online and talk about psychiatry. And… Friendships take a lot more intention. and direct communication, too.
So… I have… like… my friend, Sharnell, who's the one who first told me, I was probably autistic. Actually, what happened was, I asked her Do you think I might be autistic? And her response was, why do you think you're not autistic?
So anyway, so we became good friends, and both being autistic, I say, when is our next friendship meeting going to be? And we decide when the friendship meeting is, and it's on the calendar, it's very specific and structured. And, so, I think helping… Whereas, like, neurotypical relationships, it's so confusing.
It's like, we should get together sometime. Does that really mean we're gonna get together? When are we getting together? What are we gonna do when we get together? Yeah.
Yael Valek [1:04:30]
I think those are all really… we just had somebody post in our Google group that their 6-year-old is looking for friends that are into trains. I got a lot of replies, so you're definitely welcome to post them.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:04:40]
Awesome.
Yael Valek [1:04:41]
I think you're right, we have a lot of, my co-founder's daughter was really into, very, unique characters. I think they were anime characters, and so you can't find someone around you that likes that character, but why you can. Yeah. My child has known he is on the spectrum from a fairly young age.
Now that he is going into middle school, he uses his diagnosis as a deflection to avoid perspective-taking. I think this could escalate quite quickly into physically dangerous territory during middle school conflicts. Any insight on how to approach and coach before these worries pan out?
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:05:21]
It's a good, it's a good. So… People can use diagnoses as a defense. Against having to work or having to grow. And so that is something that we want to really watch out for.
And this can be any diagnosis, honestly, that people can use it. And this is a concern parents bring up, too. They're like, what if my child, quote, uses it as an excuse?
So, I think… early on, helping people understand, like, if we're going back to, like, the weights metaphor and carrying heavier weights around, unfortunately, if you're carrying heavier weights around, you need to work out more, not less. And so, the diagnosis… Helps us both With accommodating ourselves, and understanding the areas that we have to work. harder at. than other people. So there's…
and honestly, guys. The balancing between, like, supportively accommodating a kid's needs and enabling a kid to function less It's a super complex balancing act. Okay? That's hard. That's like, please have a really awesome, like, therapist helping you with that. Okay? Because, where does supportive accommodation begin and end in, like, enabling dysfunction?
Begin and end. I think that, having a talk that, yes, your brain is different, and We need to give you grace, and because of this, difference… It actually is going to mean working harder. And in any relationship. We do not accommodate only one person's needs.
A relationship means there's co-accommodation of the needs of the neurodivergent person and the needs of the, neurotypical person. And that's what it is to be in relationship with others. So… It's hard. It is. Yes. I think that…
I'll be very, like, curious. About what's going on, socially for this kiddo, I imagine that when you've struggled and been unsuccessful and gotten lots of repeated negative feedback. That working and trying and putting yourself out there is… is really hard. And… And you'd rather just be like, nope.
No thank you. I'm gonna opt out of that experience again and again, and again. So… There's a lot of trauma from… Social conflicts. And also, middle school is the worst.
Middle school is THE worst, and kids are very mean. And yet… You know, We're here. There's, there's this saying, prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child, if you've heard it.
And I think that is simplistic and great for neurotypical kids. With neurodivergent kids, we need to do both. We need to both Prepare the road for the child.
And work to prepare the child for the road that doesn't fit them. So, both supportive accommodation And challenging the child that they are going to have to work harder than others, unfortunately, in this world. I hope that made sense.
Yael Valek [1:10:03]
It did, and I really appreciate it. weightlifting metaphor, that's good for me to hear, where it's also, it's always a balance, how much to accommodate and how much to push.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:10:13]
Yeah. It's hard. It's really complex.
Yael Valek [1:10:16]
Really hard. This question, a bunch of people have posted this in various variations about kids being so hard on themselves. Mine are too. What are some ways to help children, mine are almost 8 and 13 and a half, be kind to themselves when they're struggling? For example, trying to complete their assignment, forgetting the question she was waiting to ask.
Both know their diagnoses, and someone else said, yes, mine is also so hard on herself.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:10:44]
Yeah. It's rough. I think there's also, like, understanding the… there's some RSD there, rejection sensitivity, dysphoria, which basically means… it's common with ADHD and autism, this…
we feel that experience of letting people down, or the criticism and rejection, like, so much more strongly. And it kind of snowballs. It's like, these experiences… in the past, that are kind of small-t traumas build on themselves, right?
Oh, I said the wrong thing. Again, right? Ugh, you know, I let this person down. Again. And… I think it can be really helpful to role model things that we want our kids to do, so Like, as much as possible to share with kids when you make a mistake.
To share with kids things that you might feel embarrassed about, or ashamed about. So they can see a model for how to work through a mistake. There's a book… is it What to Do When Miss…
The Girl Who Never Made Any Mistakes, I think is the name of the book. There's a bunch of cool kids' books on self-compassion. And… What to Do When Mistakes Make You Quake in the What to Do book series.
Okay, I'll find it and throw it in the chat, some of these resources here. Honestly, just, like… Oh, it's hard, but just being… Someone who bears witness to your child's pain and is able to sit with it.
When they're disappointed in themselves, like, wow, that's rough. Is huge. It's really huge. And it's hard because Our whole educational system is set up for social comparison. You're just constantly compared to your peers.
Given numbers that compare you to your peers, given, you know, color charts that compare you to your peers. So… The more you can share about different struggles and mistakes that you've made, As a parent. And how, honestly, It turned out okay.
I always try to, like, talk about how, I was… I was not a great fit for medical school, okay? Terrible, actually. Terrible fit, not a great place.
And yet, Great at psychiatry. So, simply… Not being a great fit for the extremely narrow skill set of our formal educational system. does not mean… and, like, people do this, people always, like, extrapolate, like, oh, you didn't sit down in class, you know, how are you going to…
actually, when I remember, like, my fifth grade teacher said, They all knew I wanted to be a doctor, specifically a psychiatrist. I guess I decided at age 7, by the way. And she said, oh, how are you going to be a doctor?
You're so slow. Your patients will die on the operating table. No, these are the things that teachers… that they'll tell kids, right?
I was slow. I was slow at getting my tests done. It was really hard for me. I have an auditory processing disorder, and it takes me longer. And so helping kids to understand that, like.
Just because you have this specific extreme struggle. You know, does not translate to, you know, you are a bad individual or cannot do the things that you want to do in life.
Yael Valek [1:15:17]
That is such an important message for all the kids that are struggling in school. By the way, there are kids that do so well in school and then can't figure things out because they haven't found their passion, so… Such an important method. My daughter is 10, and found out about her diagnosis in a slightly traumatizing way.
We were meeting with a new therapist who was very unfriendly and unsympathetic, and she let it slip out that my daughter had autism before I had shared it with her myself. She's on the mild end and extremely bright, so she isn't comfortable with the diagnosis and doesn't want any support. She also doesn't like discussing it. Do you have any suggestions on how to best support her?
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:15:58]
I think I would first, kind of, maybe. Think about what your own feelings are about the diagnosis, and do… Kind of just… A lot of self-reflection.
Kids pick up on a lot of what's going on inside us inadvertently. And… it's okay. It's okay to have a lot of, It's okay to have a lot of negative feelings about a diagnosis. And, you know, like I say, life is not a choose-your-own-diagnosis adventure, unfortunately.
There's some that I would forego. If I could. so, I… I would st… like, the holding the door open analogy, be like, hey, you know, whenever you wanna…
if you ever wanna learn more about this, let me know about your diagnosis. If you ever want this, let me know. Right? So it's an open invitation, so you continuously kind of invite.
But you can't pull… you can't pull them through the door. You can be like, look at this cool stuff on the other side of this door, and how it could be awesome. because of X, Y, and Z. It's there, let me know, right?
And… and give it… time. Time and some positive role modeling. and… you know, I think… I do think one of the… How, you know, the single most impactful thing that parents can do to help their children is to be in therapy themselves, and continuously reflecting on themselves.
Yeah. so impactful. Our ability to think about our own thinking, think about our own feelings, process our grief. Process our fears for our children. Has… that has a huge impact on how we can show up for them.
Yael Valek [1:18:23]
That makes a lot of sense. Thank you. How would you… what would you recommend sharing with a kid that has a borderline diagnosis? Some traits, not all. How to share without creating more confusion.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:18:40]
I think that's a really important diagnosis to share with them. There's a website, borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org. That has a lot of great resources.
Yael Valek [1:18:53]
Oh, I'm sorry, I think she means a borderline diagnosis…
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:18:58]
Oh, sorry.
Yael Valek [1:18:59]
Yeah. You're right, that's a very important thing to share. Some traits, not all, so they're not…
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:19:06]
Okay, okay. I did misinterpret that. I was thinking about before, like, personality disorder, that's funny. Okay. So, yes. I mean, yeah, kind of like you said it, that works, right?
You know, you have some of these traits, but not all of them. It's a little… right? It's not clear-cut. Here's the things you got. Here's the things you don't got. You know? Yeah. I say don't overthink it, just share the info you got.
Yael Valek [1:19:51]
Someone says, I cannot figure out a way to tell a child that comparison robs us of joy. How do you make sense of this to someone who's 6 or 7 or 8?
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:20:01]
I know, it's really tough. There's a saying, I didn't make this saying up, I take no credit, compare and despair. And it's true. Yeah. So, it's really hard. I think it's gonna take time. I think developmentally, It's what kiddos do.
So, it's kind of like, you gotta fasten your seatbelt and be like, here I am, right? Like… this. It's a tiny brain that doesn't have a lot of capacity for… Self-compassion at this time, and desperately wants to, belong.
And give development time. You know, work with maybe a good family therapist. To help your child start to develop Their ability to reflect on themselves and their own thoughts and their mind, so they can kind of You know, think about their thinking, and what's healthy and what's not. Or use the metaphor of, like, changing the channel on the TV, like, okay, well, if your…
if your brain TV is focused on, you know, all these things that I'm not as good as this person, right? That's gonna make you feel sick. You know, what if you change the channel to something else?
You know, what are you gonna… what… what do you want your brain TV to be focused on? Yeah.
Yael Valek [1:21:43]
I love that. We had a therapist when my child was little talk to us about penguins, and they are birds that.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:21:48]
Okay.
Yael Valek [1:21:49]
Why? And if the penguin spends all his time looking at the birds that can fly and lamenting.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:21:54]
Yeah.
Yael Valek [1:21:54]
can't fly, he doesn't realize he's much better at swimming. So that was a conversation.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:22:00]
There's, like, a… have you seen the autism penguin story?
Yael Valek [1:22:04]
Don't think so.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:22:04]
I'll put it in the chat, okay? Because I bet she took it from that autism penguin story. Okay? Where, like, it's like… Alright, oh. I'll find it. I'll find it.
Yael Valek [1:22:20]
Maybe Abby In the background.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:22:24]
Alright. Alright, oh my gosh, it's long.
Yael Valek [1:22:28]
Oh, okay.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:22:29]
I'm gonna try to put it in the chat, okay? It's about… it's about… A penguin who suddenly discovers… that they are actually… no. They thought they were a sparrow, and they were in a family of sparrows, and then they realized they were a penguin. Let's see if I can put it in there. Do-do-do.
Yael Valek [1:22:57]
Abby says there's a lot of stuff online about autism and penguins.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:23:02]
It is. Okay.
Yael Valek [1:23:07]
I will say, where we live, I feel like comparison is… I don't know, like… everyone here is so driven, so successful, so… they're in 700 after-school classes and research programs, and sports, and honors, and APs, and it's really hard not to compare here, I feel like.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:23:25]
It is… they're set up. Okay, I found it on Reddit, but I bet there's a better source. It's called, Holy Shit, You're a Penguin. It's really good. And, you know, I actually…
I have a copy of it I'm gonna… okay, I bet I can find it on my computer, a better copy of it, because sometimes I'll give this to parents. To help them understand the importance of a diagnosis.
I'm gonna find it. I'm gonna do it. Penguin… Alright, here we go. I'm putting it as a Word document in the chat now, so people can download it.
9. Q&A — Disclosure, Parental Support & Closing
Yael Valek [1:24:09]
Thank you. I didn't even know you could do that! That's all. So maybe a couple more questions, and then we're gonna have to wrap up. How much information should you initially share about a diagnosis with schools or new providers who don't know your child yet? Does it lead to too many assumptions about who your child is?
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:24:32]
It's a good question. I mean, and then the answer, of course, is it depends! Because, okay, like. even as an adult, which doctors do I share that I'm autistic with, right? I could share it with a doctor, and they're like, whoa, that's super helpful to understand your body is neurodivergent, and then I could share it with another doctor, and they're like, that doesn't make any sense.
Maybe I'm gonna, like, infantilize you now, because you said that, and talk down to you for the rest of the appointment. So, you kind of don't know if a disclosure was a good idea until it's already made, often, because you don't know how people are going to respond, if they're going to respond in a healthy way or an unhealthy way. So, in an ideal world, hopefully, sharing a diagnosis with the school gets you awesome accommodations, and instead of teachers labeling your kid as they are really difficult and rude.
they can be like, huh, I really need to give this kid extra support. They are not difficult and rude. They are ADHD, they are dyslexic, they are autistic, etc.
We don't… live in a completely ideal world, so we don't know, right? You kind of have to make your best educated guess. Of how that person is going to treat your child after receiving that diagnosis, and you kind of have to do it as an adult. Disclosing your diagnosis. Yeah.
Yael Valek [1:26:19]
Yeah. Thank you. Abby's saying it's better to find out earlier than later. If your school or doctor or friend feels this way.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:26:30]
Yeah. But then sometimes, you know. Like, sometimes you have to mask and hide in order to just get basic medical… treatment as an autistic adult, right?
Like, navigating the healthcare system. Anyways, could talk about that forever. So, like, I'm always like, yes, this is how the world should treat autistic, dyslexic, ADHD people, and then also keep in mind, like, We need to be prepared.
to, You know, to get basic healthcare needs met, or other needs met, to sometimes have to, like, mask, or possibly not disclose.
Yael Valek [1:27:17]
Okay. When you mentioned parental therapy, would each parent do their own individual therapy, and would it be important that the therapist understand neurodivergence?
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:27:28]
I think it would be really super helpful if the therapist understood neurodivergence, because I do think… It can be harmful if a therapist is trying to, like, coach you as a parent, and they don't understand a neurodivergent kid, you know, like, trying to… Put a square peg into a round hole.
So that would be super helpful. I think it's awesome if parents can get their own individual therapy first of all, I feel like human beings, period. It's awesome if they can get their own individual therapy and, like, parenting.
such a crazy intense challenge. Then add on to that parenting a neurodivergent kid, then add on to that parents probably neurodivergent themselves. parenting, a neurodivergent kid.
So, yes, you know, you put so much… like, I see these parents, and I'm like, you put so much energy Into, like, psychologically supporting the kid. And, like, where is the energy you're putting into psychologically supporting yourself.
Yeah, but thanks for having me. I put my contact info, I put my website, in here.
Yael Valek [1:28:50]
We'll post it up one more time.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:28:51]
Oh, cool, there's my stuff. Somebody posted my website already in there, thanks. Yep. I'm actually… I forgot to mention, I'm licensed to see patients in Florida. Colorado and Washington State, if people are in those states, FYI.
Yael Valek [1:29:12]
You need to work on California next.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:29:15]
I wanted to… actually, I did, Yale, but then they have these laws where I can't really prescribe the stimulants and the controlled substances. without a physical in-person office address, and then the pharmacies weren't gonna fill my scripts, and so then I didn't… that's why I didn't proceed. It was really annoying, yeah.
Yael Valek [1:29:36]
I know we're supposed to wrap up, but if it's okay to sneak one final question in.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:29:40]
Oh, okay.
Yael Valek [1:29:41]
Because I just love this one, and I promise…
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:29:43]
ADHD time, not regular time, so it's like… It's the 805.
Yael Valek [1:29:47]
I'm just really curious, someone said, can ADHD and general anxiety be managed without medication, and what indications tells us that, no, we can't? I know this is a… could be a whole presentation in and of itself, but how do we know when it's time to try?
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:30:05]
Right. Okay, so, I mean, the answer is, like, Anything can be managed Like, you can… can you manage without medication, and at what cost, and what are you losing? So… tricky thing about ADHD is the core symptoms of attention having difficulty regulating your attention and your, Self-control, like, you can't really…
Train that into your brain so much without the medication, whereas you can get a full treatment of anxiety. without medication, with therapy alone, right? You can't therapitize the ADHD so much.
You can… you can learn ways to compensate in therapy. Now, that being said, here I am, psychiatrist, ADHD. I am not taking ADHD medication currently, right?
Because in my adulthood, I absolutely love psychiatry, and I'm super hyper-focused when I do psychiatry, so I don't really need an ADHD medicine while I'm doing psychiatry. And I have a front desk that has all these accommodations for me because I'm in charge of my own practice, and I tell them what I need them to do to accommodate me. So, therefore, you know, I am not needing medication.
Hence. So I hope that answers… so basically, I think that it's time to do medicine if medicine is going to enhance your quality of life. And then there are times, especially in adulthood, you have…
you can have so much more autonomy Versus what you have in school? And because of that incredibly enhanced autonomy. To do what you want to do? For some people, of course.
then you may not need the ADHD medication. And it's funny because I also emphasize this because people are always like, you know in school when you're growing up, they're like. They would tell me, they would tell me, in the real world, Stacy, you're not going to get extra time on your tests.
Right? And I wish I could go back in time and be like, teachers, do you know how much more I can accommodate myself in my career right now than I ever could in school? It is… anyways, so yeah, it's kind of ironic.
Yael Valek [1:32:47]
super important point that we try to get across and use the tools. Thank you so much, Stacy, and thank you for everyone who attended, today. Please fill out our feedback form, in the chat.
I can't thank you enough. This was so, eye-opening, and compassionate, and, just… I took a whole page of notes.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:33:08]
Thank you so much for having me.
Yael Valek [1:33:11]
Sharing your experiences with our community.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:33:14]
It's good seeing you again.
Yael Valek [1:33:15]
It'd be so good to see you. I'll see you again in September, I hope.
Stacy Greeter, MD [1:33:19]
Yeah. I don't know if I'll be able to make it this year, but we'll see, yeah? Okay, bye everyone.
Yael Valek [1:33:27]
Bye, thank you!
