2027 6th Annual 2E Private School & Educational Options Panel

7 hours ago

6 min read

On Sept 24, 2026 our panel of experts and parents shared insights about school selection for 2e learners. We did not record this event for privacy reasons, however we are providing this AI summary of the event.

Finding the right educational fit for a twice-exceptional (2e) child can feel like solving a complex, ever-shifting puzzle. With a unique blend of high cognitive strengths and challenges such as ADHD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, autism, or anxiety, 2e learners require environments that nurture their intellectual passions while simultaneously supporting their specific learning and executive function needs.

At REEL’s 6th Annual 2E Private School & Educational Options Panel, local parents and school guidance expert Lauren Meltzer shared candid stories, practical frameworks, and invaluable lessons learned from navigating public, private, charter, homeschooling, micro-school, and online hybrid options.

Here are the key takeaways and actionable strategies from the evening to help guide your family's journey.

Evaluating Schools Through the DEAR REAL Framework

Abby Kirigin, REEL Executive Director, opened the presentation by walking through how REEL’s DEAR REAL model can be used by parents and educators to evaluate how well a learning environment supports neurodivergent students. See Abby's slides.

Developing Connections (Connection):
- What to look for: Do students feel safe, accepted, and seen as whole children? Is Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) genuinely integrated into daily classroom life, or is the focus primarily on achievement and metrics? Look for classrooms where individuality is celebrated, peer trust is nurtured, and students feel a genuine sense of belonging.
Embracing Flexibility (Flexibility):
- What to look for: Are Universal Design for Learning (UDL) principles applied? Do students have choices in how they learn and demonstrate knowledge (e.g., options beyond standard five-paragraph essays)? Are physical spaces flexible, offering quiet zones, movement opportunities, or maker spaces?
Attending to Strengths (Strengths):
- What to look for: Does the school act as a "talent scout" by weaving student passions and strengths into the core curriculum? Are pre-assessments and curriculum compacting offered to provide appropriate academic challenge? Are remediation services integrated seamlessly so students don't miss out on electives or favorite subjects?
Reframing Behaviors (Behaviors):
- What to look for: Does the staff seek to uncover the root causes behind behaviors ("Why can't they do this yet?") rather than penalizing dysregulation? Are movement breaks, fidgets, alternative seating, and collaborative problem-solving actively encouraged?

Parent Perspectives: Diverse Paths & Lessons Learned

Three local parents shared their families’ multi-year journeys across public, private, charter, homeschooling, and online hybrid environments:

Mom 1: Finding Social Fit & Navigating Executive Function

The Journey: Mom 1 navigated school choices for her two 2e children (a 14-year-old son and an 11-year-old daughter) who both have ADHD along with dysgraphia and dyslexia. Both children initially attended a French immersion private school, where rigid structures and a lack of early communication regarding unfinished work led to stress, shame, and executive function struggles.
What Worked: She transitioned her son to a small private boys' school in San Mateo (with 60 students), combining medication support and a smaller setting before he entered a private boys' high school. She transitioned her daughter to their local neighborhood public school. Despite larger class sizes (31 students), her daughter thrived thanks to a nurturing, supportive teacher, flexible working positions (such as lying on the floor or standing), and the joy of walking to school with neighborhood friends.
Key Insight: Private schools are not automatically superior to public schools. If a school tries to force creative 2e children into a strict box, fit will erode over time. Prioritizing social connection, neighborhood community, and feeling accepted can outweigh perfect academic alignment.

Mom 2: Tailoring Pathways & Embracing Hybrid Homeschooling

The Journey: Mom 2 raised two 2e sons with vastly different profiles. Her younger son (12, 6th grade) has a profile of ADHD and dysgraphia and thrives in a local public charter school with low-demand, UDL-based project learning and strong community ties. Her older son (15, 9th grade) has a complex asynchronous profile with dyslexia, ADHD, and high school-related anxiety that made traditional public settings challenging.
What Worked: Mom 2 began homeschooling 15 year old in 2nd grade, creating a "customized private school of one" to deep-dive into his specific interests while weaving in Occupational Therapy, vision therapy, and dyslexia remediation. In 7th grade, they transitioned to a hybrid online high school model, taking rigorous online courses while registering as homeschoolers via a Private School Affidavit (PSA).
Key Insight: Homeschooling and hybrid online options allow families to decouple academic rigor from a rigid physical environment. Accessing top-tier online teachers and global peers provided exceptional intellectual enrichment while keeping stress and anxiety manageable, though managing screen time remains an ongoing consideration.

Mom 3: Prioritizing Key Factors & Adapting to Dynamic Needs

The Journey: Mom3 guided her two sons (21 and 14) through public Mandarin immersion, progressive parent-participation lottery schools, gifted private programs, 1-on-1 schools, and public high school.
What Worked: She used transitional kindergarten (TK) and Occupational Therapy as an "extra year of childhood" for her older son. For her younger, who experienced school refusal/burnout in 4th grade and administrative misunderstandings during middle school unstructured time (PE, passing periods), the family adjusted by moving from public middle school to a gifted private school, then to a 1-on-1 school for 8th grade, and ultimately to public high school.
Key Insight: Child profiles and family needs change dynamically over time, with middle school often being the most dynamic, high-need period. Focus on your top two or three non-negotiable priorities for this moment (e.g., riding a bike to school, strong electives, peer group) and directly involve your child in co-creating accommodations and making educational decisions.
Lessons learned
- You can make some environments work if you're able to invest a lot of time and resources, and the school listens to you and is willing to experiment.
- Fit isn't permanent — as needs change, the environment may need to change too.
- Don't assume private automatically beats public. Public schools sometimes have exactly the resources your kid needs, even when private seems like the “more attention” option.
- Middle school was the most dynamic, high-need period for us — and we relied heavily on the workplace flexibility we'd built in years earlier.
- There isn't one school that will meet all of your child's needs — prioritize what you need the school to provide vs. what you can supplement outside of school.
- The same school may not fit all of your children.
- Be a good partner to your school. In public school especially, get to know whoever assigns teachers and classes so they understand your kid's profile — and can place them near an anchor student or with teachers experienced in neurodiversity.
- Teach your child to self-advocate, and get them involved in writing their 504 plan, educational plan, or accommodations.
- Integrate strengths and autonomy — gradually released based on readiness — as much as possible into school and at home.
- Bike riding, and the autonomy it offers, has been a lifeline.
- Soccer has been a throughline for both of our sons — it gave them a friendship group and a routine and structure that grounded them, and our family.

Expert Guidance: Matching School Options to Your Child

Lauren Meltzer, an educational options consultant for neurodivergent learners, outlined the broader landscape of educational models and key strategies for evaluating fit:

Spectrum of Educational Options

Public & Charter Schools: Provide access to neighborhood community, sports, and legally mandated 504 plans or IEPs. Differentiated instruction and math acceleration are frequently available.
2E-Specific Schools: Feature a deep understanding of twice-exceptionality, a peer group of like-minded learners, accelerated content, universal design, and embedded executive function support.
Specialized / Wraparound Schools: Offer comprehensive embedded therapies (such as speech, OT, dyslexia remediation, or ASD support) directly integrated into the school day.
Gifted Schools: Provide a fast-paced intellectual environment, but require careful vetting regarding executive function support, pacing, and behavioral flexibility.
Micro-Schools & 1-on-1 Settings: Feature ultra-small student-to-teacher ratios, individualized pacing, and highly flexible environments ideal for non-traditional or school-reluctant learners.
Online / Hybrid / Homeschooling: Deliver maximum flexibility to customize learning schedules, pursue passion projects, and weave therapeutic support into daily life.

Key Advice for Admissions & School Evaluation

Be a Detective: Define the exact descriptive words that fit (and do not fit) your child. Identify non-negotiables based on what is currently working and what needs improvement.
Prioritize Safety & Belonging First: A child must feel safe, accepted, and understood before academic acceleration can be effective. Intellectual rigor yields little benefit if a child is dysregulated or anxious.
Maintain Transparency in Admissions: Don’t hide your child's learning struggles or neuropsychological evaluations during private school admissions. Full transparency ensures you select a school genuinely equipped to support your child. Balance sharing challenges with sharing strengths and the supports in place and growth.
Look Beyond Marketing Materials: When touring, ask specific, open-ended questions about how unstructured time (lunch, recess, passing periods) is handled, how dysregulation is managed, and how sensory/movement breaks are facilitated.

Final Takeaways & Next Steps

No School is Perfect: Expect to prioritize top needs at school and supplement the rest through outside activities, tutoring, therapy, or home enrichment.
Fit Changes Over Time: A school that works well in elementary school may not fit in middle or high school; re-evaluating at key transition points is a normal, healthy process.
Involve Your Child: Engaging your child directly in school selection and accommodation planning builds self-advocacy, autonomy, and buy-in.
Trust Your Gut: Parents know their children best; pay close attention to how a school environment feels to both you and your child.