Video: Intro to 2e: Understanding Your Smart & Struggling Student

Do you have a bright child who struggles to show it at school? Are they doing advanced math at home for fun but won’t fill out a simple worksheet at school? Have they memorized elaborate sequences of historical events but can’t remember to turn in their homework? You may have a twice exceptional (2e) child! Yael Valek and Callie Turk, founders of Resilience and Engagement for Every Learner (REEL) as well as parents of twice exceptional (2e) kids, present an interactive overview of 2e - what it is, why it matters, and effective approaches for supporting 2e learners. 2e students experience both high ability and learning challenges, which presents unique challenges in the classroom, including asynchronous development that may lead to anxiety and behavior issues. Explore strategies to help your child thrive at school.

See the transcript here:

Callie Turk:

Okay, so I thank you all so much for joining us for this session, "Intro to the 2e Learner and Supporting Your Smart and Struggling Student." In this session today, you know, you may have joined because as a parent, it might be confusing—like, why is my smart student struggling at school? Or why is my child so uneven across different subjects? They're very resistant to doing work—why is that? And they're exhibiting some very disruptive or unusual or frightening behaviors—what does that mean? And why are they anxious about school? And how can I work with the school to support them? How can I bring out the best in my child? And when is my child at their most joyful? And how do we get more of that joy into their school experience?

So those are the kinds of things we're hoping to talk about today and give you some insights into. We do have a lot to cover, and while we're hoping to have time for Q&A at the end of the session, it may be very tight. This session is usually designed to last at least an hour and a half. We're trying to fit a lot in, so please consider joining us at the lunch and learn that's taking place right after this session if you'd like to continue the conversation. We'll put the link to that in the chat and hope to see you there.

And for anyone who's joined late—again, we are recording this session—you might want to consider your video use and your first name only. So, hello and welcome! I am Callie Turk, and I am joined by Yael Valek, and we are the co-founders of a local group called REEL, which stands for Resilience and Engagement for Every Learner. We strive to ensure that twice-exceptional students are thriving in school by raising parent and educator awareness and understanding through resources, tools, services, events, and workshops.

And we are just all about building bridges between the parents and educators of twice-exceptional learners. We're also the parents of 2e learners ourselves. So, my kids attended Palo Alto Unified in the past, and Yael's are still at Palo Alto Unified. You can find us at these email addresses, and if you have any follow-up questions, you're welcome to reach out to us.

Today, we are going to cover a few main things. We are going to first do an overview of what 2e is—since this is an intro, and some of you may not know that much about twice-exceptionality. We're then going to walk through two different vignettes of students who are twice-exceptional. We're going to sprinkle in a very little thing about 504s and IEPs and then hopefully have time for Q&A at the end.

I do want to make one disclaimer up front, and that is: Yael and I are the founders of REEL, and we have a lot of experience talking with, working with, and training educators and parents and educating ourselves about twice-exceptional children. But we are not medical or psychiatric professionals, so our advice is just that—it's advice based on our experience and understanding of 2e learners.

I'm gonna hand this over to you, Yael, who's gonna start us off with a little bit of storytime.

Yael Valek:

So this is something that my son made in third grade. He was bright and engaging, but getting him to do any classwork that was not in his area of interest was very difficult. So you may be familiar with that. And he was showing less and less enthusiasm for school.

I ended up having a conversation with Oren's third-grade teacher about 2e students and their needs, and she changed the way she thought about assignments. So this is an example of an assignment where she wanted them to show the difference between a law and a rule. Oren has a very vivid imagination, and he asked, "Could he make his law from his imaginary Bear Land, Babalaya?" And the teacher's first reaction was, "No, you have to make a real law."

But after hearing about 2e, she thought about it and said, "What's the point of this lesson? It's to show a rule versus a law, so who cares if he makes it from an imaginary land?" So she allowed it. So he made this law that art fairs are not allowed—in reaction to me taking him to too many that summer.

And from then on, he was engaged in the class. He participated well, and all the other students thought this was so funny, so they started making more interesting laws, and it elevated the whole classroom discussion. So this is just one small vignette, and we're not saying it's easy to solve all the 2e students' challenges in this way. But it encouraged us that with small changes in the classroom, a lot of challenges can be overcome.

And he ended up connecting with this teacher and becoming one of the star students in the class because she made these changes. And so we wanted to share this 2e lens with you so that hopefully you can make changes like this for your students in their classrooms.

Callie Turk:

So, what is 2e? So, 2e students have distinguishing strengths—high abilities and/or potential in one or more areas—but they also, at the same time, have complex challenges such as ADHD, specific learning challenges such as dyslexia, they may be on the autism spectrum, they may have high anxiety.

And the difference between 2e kids and other kids is: All kids have strengths and challenges. In some areas, they may have a great strength in math and a challenge in writing. But 2e kids are in the middle, having both at all times.

So, Seth Perler—he's a famous executive functioning coach—he says, "In a nutshell, if you have a child who you know is bright, but they struggle to show it in school, they may be 2e." And there are estimates that about five percent of kids may be 2e. We anecdotally think it's higher in Silicon Valley.

And so this is always important to keep in mind—this being in the green at all times. So we're used to looking at bell curves when we think about students and where they fall. And of course, no one student is in the middle of the bell curve exactly on everything. But most students fall within a little bit plus or minus of the middle of the bell curve across all areas.

But this is an example of a 2e profile, and as you can see, the gaps are at extremes. So this is an example of a child who has extremely high general intellectual ability and very high mathematical reasoning, but as you can see, the processing speed is on the low end of the curve. And even though it's just on the low end of average—so that might not show up as something to be alarmed about—the difference between those two is very large, and so it's very confusing for the student.

So the child's math scores are showing up as just above average, and the teacher wonders, "Why is this child having trouble in math? Why are they having anxiety and inability to complete assignments?" But what's happening inside the child's brain is that the processing speed feels like an extreme deficit to them, and their gifted math ability is masking the processing speed challenges. And the processing speed challenges are masking the extreme math ability.

And so they end up appearing average. So because of this discrepancy—and this happens to my own child—math can be both too hard and too easy at the same time. The child feels that math reasoning comes so easily to them—they're ready to tackle more advanced concepts—but they can't process information quickly or write a lot of answers, so they feel like a failure, and they can't complete a basic, repetitive math worksheet.

You can also see that social skills are falling very low on the bell curve, and appropriate behavior may be falling low on the bell curve. And this is typical of developmental asynchrony—you know, developing asynchronously. You may have a fourth grader: They may do math at a seventh-grade level, they may write at a second-grade level, they may socialize at a first-grade level, and they may reason at a 12th-grade level.

So you can imagine how confusing that is for the child—and let alone for their parents and their educators. And we just want to point out: This is just one example of a 2e curve. Every 2e child is different. Some are very strong in writing and may fall lower on the curve in math. And that makes it even more confusing because if you've met one 2e child, you've met one 2e child.

And although we talk a lot about the struggles of 2e children, we definitely want to emphasize the amazing strengths. Many 2e people are the ones you hear in the news that are changing the world. So one of the strengths of dyslexia is that they make connections across disciplines—like Steven Spielberg. That they have 3D spatial perspectives and thinking—like Steve Jobs. That they have narrative reasoning—recalling stories, episodes, and concepts—like Whoopi Goldberg. These are all strengths of dyslexia.

And then creative, out-of-the-box thinking—like Dav Pilkey. Amazing enthusiasm—like Simone Biles. And risk-taking, being adventurous, seeking novelty, and curious—like Richard Branson. These are all strengths of ADHD.

And then knowledge, skill, passion, and strong motivation in interest areas—like Sir Anthony Hopkins. Intently focused on details—like Dan Aykroyd. Logical thinking and honest—like Greta Thunberg. And you may have heard—last weekend on Saturday Night Live—Elon Musk came out as being also on the spectrum. These are all strengths of ASD.

And I just want you to imagine these amazing world-changers in the classroom in K through 12 and what that must have been like.

Yael Valek:

As Callie said, we really do want to spend more time focusing on strengths and struggles as much as possible when we're working with these kids. But in terms of understanding what some of the struggles might look like—if you're just getting to know about twice-exceptionality—one is masking.

And this is the concept that you know you have a gift or a talent, but it gets hidden by your struggle. Or you're struggling so much that no one can see your gift or talent—or vice versa. And a lot of times, people just don't know. And a lot of times, what happens is these kids go to school, and everyone says they're doing fine, but then they fall apart when they get home.

So they may talk about really deep, complex concepts, but they may be just below or even at grade level in reading. Or it may be the quiet girl who does her work but is kind of unengaged socially or in group work. This is something too that we saw happening more—not being able to do this as much—with virtual learning because all the scaffolds and coping mechanisms that a child had in place that worked in school maybe didn't work at home.

Sometimes you'll see kids who are really the class clowns—they make a lot of jokes—and this is often to deflect their weak skill areas. And they might be avoiding classes because that's their only easy way out. So that is something we see, especially among—I would say—kids with dyslexia who don't want to have to read out loud in class.

We see many different kinds of sensory challenges. Sounds in the classroom might bother them more than you would expect. Maybe they were even exhausted by one Zoom meeting. On the other hand, we saw a lot of kids actually did better at home because there weren't quite as many sensory challenges.

So it's interesting when you see a child who has sensory challenges in environments where they don't have control over the situation. We can see that becomes more—if something is really surprising to them that they can't manage on their own.

You definitely see social challenges with kids who are twice-exceptional. They might wander around alone on the playground, or they might weave in and out of social groups but not ever really join in on one. So they just can have these problems even if they're not on the spectrum.

A lot of times, people think social challenges are only related to people who are autistic, but many people who have learning differences will start avoiding being around other people. Or they'll realize that they're different from other people in some way, and it can become a problem.

Oftentimes, when we really start to notice a child is twice-exceptional, it's because they've started to be very resistant. They maybe refuse to read out loud in the classroom, or they don't want to use the whiteboard to share their answers, or they argue with you ad nauseam about their school assignments.

This is sort of when parents usually start to really take notice because their child now is displaying these really challenging behaviors—challenging, resistant behavior.

And then we have unexpected underperformance. So, you know, you have a child who you know is very bright, but all of a sudden can't perform in a specific academic area. Maybe they struggle with rote memorization. Maybe they can talk through math problems, but they can't read them or write out the answers easily. Or they have a lot of stories in their head, but they can't get them written onto paper.

And so you can see that they have so much to offer, but for some reason, it's not coming out. And so a lot of these things can lead to anxiety. The children can just start to shut down, or they're just easily overwhelmed. And this is something that especially can happen with girls when they haven't been diagnosed with a learning difference yet because they will be internalizing a lot of these other struggles, and they'll start to seem anxious.

Some of these kids will just completely disengage. They'll either disengage in the classroom by daydreaming, or they'll sneak into a corner to read a book. They also might disengage by just not going to school anymore. So when we were in traditional school, they just won't go to school. Or they might have many, many tardies.

For instance, my daughter—who had undiagnosed autism in third grade—was late to school 40 days. Never very late—always like by five minutes—but it was just: She did not want to get out of bed; she did not want to go to school. And so we had to keep cajoling her along.

And so those are things that can be a sign that your child is twice-exceptional. So if this is resonating for you and you suspect that your child might be twice-exceptional, we always recommend that you get a formal evaluation and consider getting a deep assessment about your child's strengths and challenges.

Your school might offer an evaluation like that, or they may not—hopefully they will—but you may have to consider getting a private evaluation. In the end, the most important thing is that even as you're seeing these struggles, that you are just showing your child a lot of love and support.

Callie Turk:

So before we move into the next section—where we're going to work on some vignettes to give you a better sense of what these stories look like in real life—we wanted to let you know that you can go to this TinyURL, and we've set up a bunch of resources and details for you that you can access during this session, after this session.

We have things like our 2e fact sheet, we have a checklist of things to consider if you think your child might be 2e, we have a link to a blog series we published in the fall called "Living and Learning 2e," which will give you team views on what it's like to be 2e and tips for teachers and parents.

And then you will also find all of the information we're going to go through on Ben and Nikki and the vignettes, as well as the slides for that we've been using in the presentation today.

So first thing we're going to do is introduce you to Ben. And I am just putting—I'm trying to put the link in the chat. Thank you.

This is a story of—oh, I should first say that these are vignettes. We're going to share a couple of vignettes with you, and they're composites of kids that we actually know—our kids, friends' kids, in real life—of real-life students in these situations.

And in these vignettes, we acknowledge that we're all human, and the reactions that people have in the classroom to some of these challenges are natural. And it's tough being a 2e parent or educator, and so we honor all the parents and teachers and all the challenges that they face.

And some of the answers that we're giving here—there's no one right answer—but we're going to try to give you some tools to deal with some of the challenging behaviors that you may see your students struggling with.

So, Ben. So I'm going to read you the vignette story—you're welcome to click and follow along.

Ben is in fifth grade. He is gifted, he is autistic, and has ADHD. He loves Minecraft and will discuss it in detail to anyone who will listen—and even those who won't. He has an uncanny ability to connect ideas that sometimes stuns his teachers. His memory surprises other students—who came to him in fourth grade to hear facts about the missions they were studying. He loves hamming it up when he gets to act out class projects.

Ben came into the fifth grade with Smarter Balanced test results showing he's performing above grade level in math. He received an 80 on the pretest for the new math unit on volume and keeps asking for harder math. Math was scheduled just before lunch.

Last Friday, during lesson time, Ben refused to sit on the rug, which led to a power struggle with his teacher. Ben was messing around all during math work time—doodling and reading books—despite reminders to stay on task. Just before lunch, the teacher told Ben, "I noticed you didn't make good use of your time. I will need you—you will need to complete this work either at recess or as homework in addition to your regular math homework. You asked for harder math, but I can't give you harder math if you won't complete this basic math first."

Ben yelled loudly, threw his math book on the ground, and stormed out of the classroom.

So in this story, you can see that Ben has many great strengths—strength in math, his memory, making ideas and connections, and showing his mastery in creative ways. But he struggles in class. He messes around, he can yell or throw things, he has a refusal to sit on the rug, and he storms out of the classroom.

So the teacher may be thinking:

• Ben is lazy. I gave him so many reminders, and he still didn't work.

• He's a behavior problem. I'm tired of him blowing up in class.

• This math should be easy for him—why can't he just get it done?

• I can't give him harder math if he can't do this basic math first.

So the teacher's stress and frustration level is like at a 9 out of 10 with Ben right now.

And so what might the teacher do? Might tell Ben that this behavior is unacceptable. Might have the child stay in during recess to finish the work. They might tell Ben, "This should be easy for you—just get it done." And they might not provide Ben with more advanced math.

So—is it the next slide now, Callie?

Callie Turk:

Before we move on to what happens next with Ben, the key thing that we present is this concept of reframing. This is a key part of helping twice-exceptional kids, and reframing is actually based on Stanford research that was conducted on emotional regulation and the positive impacts that can have on the adults and the children they're working with.

We've also found in our personal lives that when we work really hard to reframe our understanding of what our children are experiencing—or what other twice-exceptional children are experiencing—then we are actually better at understanding how to meet their needs.

So in terms of reframing, what you're really doing is changing from a mindset of "a child won't do something" to "a child can't yet do something." So instead of walking into a situation and feeling very judgmental in our own mindset as the adult, we walk into a situation trying to feel just very curious about what is going on and ask ourselves:

• Why might this be happening?

• What might be causing this?

• How could I help this child?

And we have to also then change our view of the child and not see them just as being so willful or defiant or trying to act out or be bad. What we have to do is reframe and say, "There are probably too many stressors, or there could be a skills deficit. There's something going on that I don't understand yet about this child."

And then we have to kind of rethink about our thoughts. Then we can't go to labels like "this child is lazy" or "wants attention" or "is rude." Instead, we really need to get into that curious place of: What's getting in their way, and how can I be helpful?

And this will then help us shift our response away from just putting in rewards and punishments or using just a carrot and stick to get kids motivated. What it really helps us to do is look for the barriers that are impacting the child and help find and remove those—and help the child learn about barriers they may face and how they can help find those and remove those.

And it really changes then the child's whole experience. Children who are approached from a "won't" perspective end up feeling frustrated or guilty or shameful or anxious—they kind of close down. But when children know we're going to approach them from a perspective of "they can't yet do something, but we believe in them, and we believe we can find solutions," then they feel supported. They become stronger. They learn how to advocate better for themselves as well.

And so that is the basis of what we're going to walk through with the vignettes in terms of how we get to a better place for these kids. And just keeping in mind that our own emotional regulation is just very important in working with children. If we can regulate our own emotions, then we can be better equipped to help others—kind of like the "putting on your own oxygen mask first" analogy.

Back to Ben. So, what's going on inside? Look at Ben curled up in the corner. What's going on in his mind is he's like:

• I'm tired.

• I'm hungry for lunch.

• It's been a long morning.

• I don't like sitting on the carpet so close to everyone—it's making me feel uncomfortable.

• I already know this math, and I still have to do so many repetitive problems.

• And writing is hard for me—I can't write this many answers.

• I'm stupid.

• I can't even pay attention to easy math, even though I wish I could do harder math that's more interesting.

• Now I might miss recess—and I need to run around—or I might have extra homework, and that's really stressful for me.

So now that the teacher has reframed her thoughts, she might be thinking—instead of what we had talked about before about him being lazy and obstinate—is:

• Oh, Ben is just having a really hard time.

• He couldn't hold it in any longer.

• He must feel so bad inside to have reacted by throwing a book.

• He was having a hard time focusing—I bet he's hungry.

• And I bet sitting on the rug and touching other kids gives him sensory challenges.

• He's already had to work hard to get to lunch today, and he must be tired.

• I wonder if this math is too easy for him, and he's frustrated, but at the same time, the writing's too hard for him.

• Maybe this worksheet has too many problems on it.

Now my stress level as a teacher has gone down from a nine to a three. I feel sympathetic to Ben's situation.

So what might I do instead? So now that we've reframed our thinking, what should we do to help this student?

So we have a list of tips, and of all the tips that we provide, the number one is that it's very important to build a trusted connection between the student and the teacher. 2e students especially rely on this bond for motivation in their challenge areas.

So for us personally, what's worked for us is to have the times with the teacher one-on-one. Sometimes it can be the day before school starts—this year it happened over Zoom—maybe during office hours—to have them connect about passions that they have in common. And for the teacher to really understand the student's strengths and passions and share personal stories together.

That way, the teacher will listen when the student self-advocates and help them feel successful. And once that trust is built, I have noticed my children are more willing to work in areas that are not an area they're interested in or have a strength in because they have that connection with the teacher, and the teacher says, "I know you can do it."

This year, of course, it was a lot more challenging to build this connection over distance learning, but hopefully it will get easier once we're in person again.

And of course, we used to have a student-teacher connection, but it's turned into a triangle this year because the parents were a lot more involved in their children's learning at home. You saw their strengths and challenges this year more than any other time. And so it's important for the parents to connect that information to the teacher because the teacher doesn't know that when your kid comes home at the end of the day—or gets off of Zoom—they're having a meltdown. They might have looked fine to the teacher.

I mean, it's important to know that the classroom environment is being overwhelming to them. And also, the connection between the parent and student has changed this year. You know, your child needs to learn to trust that you are there to help them through their challenges and celebrate their strengths rather than push them through schoolwork that leads to tears.

And so when students know that you're going to listen when they have an issue and will advocate for change on their behalf, they're more likely to come to you and work with you through challenges and hopefully experience less anxiety.

We have a few other top tips. These are the things that tend to always come up in terms of supporting our twice-exceptional learners and getting to a better place with them.

First is: Really let their strengths and passions shine. 2e learners tend to have strong interests, and it's very important for them to find a way to weave those into their schoolwork. So like, for instance, maybe your child doesn't love math, but they love Pokémon. So is there a way to integrate a Pokémon worksheet into the work they're doing?

Maybe they don't really like to write, but they're passionate about sharks. So could they do a research project about sharks and then make a PowerPoint presentation? I like to talk about the protective power of passions for these kids. These really give them a place to shine, to go deep, and to get much more engaged and motivated in their work.

The other one is really about being curious and empathetic—really approaching them to understand the logic behind the frustrating behavior. They really don't intend to give teachers and parents a hard time—really, they are having a hard time. So what you need to do is really approach them not from a place of blame but a place of curiosity.

It's super important to think about the asynchronous development and understand that twice-exceptional kids do not develop on a consistent timeline. They may be able to read at a high school level, but they may not be able to really understand what they're reading as well. Or they may not be able to have a friend over for more than an hour without melting down.

So their social skills development, their emotional development, may be quite a bit lower than some of their academic progress that they're making. And it's important for us to understand that and accept that—that children do not develop uniformly. There is really no normal—we've moved beyond normal.

Another thing—as we've already talked about—is really collaborating with them and their team. And the point we really want to make here is that you really want to problem-solve with the child as much as you possibly can. Really involve the child in helping to plot new paths forward, to find ways to experiment, to find new things to try.

And it's really important not just that we collaborate with the child—and we also talked about the parent and the student—but also with their team. These kids often come with a team of support—whether it's a therapist, the school psychologist, a counselor, an occupational therapist, a speech-language practitioner. All these people have really valuable perspectives on the child, and they see—maybe it's a coach outside, maybe it's the person who does kids with them, or they go to the Coder School, or they have something they love.

Those people all have really unique perspectives and see the child in their best, their worst, and everything in between. And so how do we bring in all of those perspectives? We really want to make sure that we're being very flexible.

I think if you look at our blog series from the fall called "Living and Learning 2e," it's teenagers—2e teenagers—talking about their experiences in school. And I would say flexibility was one of the most important things to them. If they could get to a place where teachers would be flexible on assignments—would give them flexible ways to show they had mastered something, would give them the opportunity to use their strengths to show that they had mastery over content, would let them move on with content if they'd shown they had mastery rather than making them turn in a lot of homework that maybe wasn't that useful.

All of those things are really important, and we need to be advocating for flexibility for our kids.

And then the last thing is just to learn something new every day. This is something that really all people should have the right to do—is to learn something new because that will keep them engaged in school. It will keep them excited to go. When kids realize they're not going to learn something new—that the focus is going to be on everything they can't do—that's when they really start to shut down.

So with these tips in mind, what are some of the strategies for supporting Ben? So typically, this is an hour-and-a-half workshop, and we have you guys working in groups and strategizing ways to help Ben.

So we're going to share a few things that we think might help Ben, and if you have more ideas, please share them in the chat or feel free to unmute and share them.

So one thing that happened is the teacher finally talked to Ben and said, "Ben, I need you to show me that you know this math. What can we do so it's not so overwhelming for you next time?"

And so what Ben and the teacher agreed on is that he would be given fewer problems, and instead of having to repeat once he showed the mastery of something, he would be given extensions—maybe math games to play or something more advanced to learn. And he would not have to do the parts that he had already tested out of.

And they also decided that after a certain amount of time—let's say five minutes of working, ten minutes working—that Ben would get a break. And then he would have something to look forward to when he was done. So maybe he gets to play a really cool math game or read a book that he likes.

And since Ben loves Minecraft, the teacher started to tie the volume problems into Minecraft calculations. Not only did that make it more interesting to Ben, but it made it more interesting to the whole class since many kids like to play Minecraft.

And then allowing him to show different ways to show mastery—other than filling in a worksheet. Could he teach the class something about this topic? Could he make a comic strip about this topic? There are so many creative ways that he could show his mastery.

And then she also started to give Ben more interesting and harder work to do. And so what happened to Ben? Instead of being frustrated and throwing books, the teacher joint problem-solved with Ben and got to the root of the problem, and they agreed on solutions to try next time.

Ben now trusts his teacher and feels connected with her, so he has fewer meltdowns and a renewed excitement for math. Ben decides to start a Minecraft Math Club, and many kids in the class are excited to work with him on this fun area. And that makes math in the classroom more interesting for everyone.

So of course, not everything wraps up so neatly in a bow in real life, but this actually did—a story like this actually did happen in real life. And Ben was a lot happier, more connected to his teachers like this.

If anyone has any other strategies they'd like to share, please feel free to add them to the chat.

Yael Valek:

All right, we're going to shift gears because we wanted to make sure we covered an elementary school student but also a secondary school student because the challenges are a little different, and the solutions are a little different.

So we're going to cover a ninth-grade girl named Nikki. And Nikki is a very mild-mannered child. She's sometimes distracted and dreamy, and her teachers always comment on what a polite and quiet student she is. But she's a great problem-solver. She loves science, and she's got a particular passion for nature and biology.

She started high school, and she's actually found it to be much more complicated than elementary or middle school. While she has an IEP for ADHD—inattentive type—she has a goal to develop self-advocacy skills. That's one of the things that they're really focusing on.

But she's run into some challenges because she also has severe allergies and asthma, so she often has to stay home. And she recently developed a throbbing headache when she was at school. She texted her parents, and they encouraged her to visit the nurse's office.

But when she got there, the nurse—who had met Nikki before—looked at the file and noticed that she had all these absences, so she tried to convince Nikki to stay at school. Eventually, the nurse—the parent called the nurse and asked her to review Nikki's file more closely. And what she did—she saw the medical history and the IEP—and so she understood what was going on a little better.

But Nikki was super discouraged because the nurse didn't listen to her, and she only checked the file after she spoke to her dad. So she felt like the nurse didn't believe her and that her self-advocacy needs weren't being addressed.

Because Nikki misses school so much, it's really hard for her to keep up with all of her work—in particular, in her foreign language class. And when she misses these classes, the teacher says, "Oh, just check the online learning management system. It's all on there."

But because Nikki has ADHD, it's very difficult for her to sort through all the layers, and she feels like she's always missing something for her class. So she's just running into a lot of roadblocks, but she doesn't want to cause trouble. But she feels like she could actually do better, and she's trying so hard to hold it together, and she's exhausted when she gets home.

So as you can see, she's a very kind, mild-mannered girl. She's seen as athletic and active. She's a great problem-solver. She loves science. But she does have ADHD. She has a lot of anxiety. She's missing assignments, and she's actually missing school.

So the teacher—before they reframe their thinking—might think things like:

• Well, it's going to be hard for her to keep up if she misses school.

• I think she's making all this stuff up about headaches and stomachaches.

• I just think she's trying to get out of going to school.

The teacher might also think something like:

• How am I supposed to keep up with over a hundred kids who have IEPs and what they need?

• It's just too hard.

• And I'm spending a lot of time on Schoology, so that's enough.

• A ninth-grader can keep up with everything on Schoology.

And some teachers might even think:

• Well, Nikki doesn't seem like she needs an IEP.

• I mean, parents and kids these days—they're getting IEPs for nothing.

So there's a lot of misunderstanding in a lot of those thoughts. And what's going to happen if we continue down that path is Nikki's going to keep feeling overwhelmed. She's going to feel misunderstood. Her grades will continue to suffer because she doesn't have the organizational skills yet.

And she's going to miss out on the honors-level science work because people aren't going to see what she's really capable of. And in this case, she'll start to probably nosedive and miss school more and more, never learn to self-advocate, and she won't learn to trust the adults in her life.

So Nikki is not feeling so great at this point, right? Like, she's thinking:

• Wow, I hate missing school because of my asthma and allergies.

• I know I'm just going to fall farther and farther behind.

• But Schoology is so hard to navigate—it seems like assignments are hiding in there.

• I know other kids can figure it out, but it just seems like a hurdle for me.

• I really don't want to trouble anyone.

• I know if I just sit in my classes quietly, my teachers will be happy.

• But I want to learn too, and it's so hard when I can't keep up with all my assignments.

• I want to be more independent, but I feel like I'm not as ready for all of the things my classmates are.

• That people don't listen to me, and they don't help.

So at this stage of the game, the teacher's frustration on a scale of one to ten is probably like a five, and Nikki's is very, very high—much higher than that.

So when we have a teacher who can reframe all of this with more of a twice-exceptional perspective and have more curiosity about Nikki, then they might think things like:

• Hey, you know what? Nikki is so calm—it's really hard for me to remember that she has a serious health issue or that she has an IEP for her ADHD.

• I really should take her seriously when she tells me she isn't feeling well.

• We can problem-solve together and think about the option for going home if that's what makes sense and what she's advocating for.

Or something more like:

• I'm so grateful that Nikki is well-behaved, but I know there is more going on under the surface.

• She's fallen behind on her homework, and I should check in with her to see what we can do to help her keep up better.

Also, a teacher might think something like:

• Nikki is a really bright student, and I want her to be able to spend more time learning.

• So how can we remove some of the barriers that she faces due to her ADHD, allergies, and asthma?

When the teacher goes into helping Nikki with those perspectives, it's more likely that the teacher's stress and frustration level is more like a two. I mean, of course, it's stressful to help a student who's struggling no matter what—your curiosity or the situation—but you go into a much better-regulated place when you approach Nikki with that kind of curiosity.

So there's a lot of things that the school could do to support Nikki better. Things like:

• Creating a game plan with Nikki before the illnesses come up—like having a set game plan about the processes that will be followed.

• Deciding when Nikki will and won't go home.

• What are some of the other alternatives they might be able to consider?

They really should strategize with Nikki about the missing assignments and create a plan for making up the work. And the teacher should be flexible and think about whether all of the original work is actually essential or if there's a way for Nikki to show that she has gained mastery without necessarily doing all of the assignments.

And then, in order to really address some of Nikki's really strong interest in science, they could consider compacting some of the science lessons into a deeper project so that Nikki just has one due date and assignment to keep track of—and she gets to go deeper in an area that's really interesting to her.

And also, it could be something she could be working on at home when she has to miss due to her illness, but that she's still staying on track.

Really, we should also find ways to work with the science department to identify ways to modify assignments and assessments so that students with learning differences can access the content of their more advanced courses without having to jump through a lot of hoops.

Because one of the things that can happen with 2e learners is that because their performance and their grades doesn't always match their actual capabilities, they sometimes have roadblocks in getting into the advanced coursework.

A couple of things that I thought of after the fact—in terms of her strength—would be ways to really engage around nature and biology in her foreign language. Since that's something that she has been struggling to keep up with, maybe she would be a little better engaged if maybe she could create a nature photography album with the foreign language words in it.

Or if they could incorporate something around biology into those lesson plans. Or if they could find out if there are people who are from the countries in the foreign language she's learning who are doctors or biologists and learn about them and how they've done their work.

So just finding ways to connect and bridge from that interest she has in science to connect to her foreign language.

So the outcome of this situation has been that she still actually does miss a lot of school because of her allergies and asthma—there's not much she can do about that. But now she'll have a better plan for how to keep up with everything when she's missing.

And in addition, she will know that the other students and the teachers at the school actually have her back. And that trust is so important for twice-exceptional kids. So she will feel more supported in her learning, and that will help her become a more active advocate when her issues do come up.

And she'll know—as she moves into the future—how to advocate for her needs. In this case, because this is based on a real-world scenario, she created a video about a trip she took to Zion National Park, and it had rich detail about the landscape and wildlife. And it deepened her classmates' understanding of ecology and climate change.

So while school isn't always easy, Nikki feels calmer, and she's better able to enjoy life and learning. And she knows more about what she needs at school and in the future. And that's Nikki.

If anyone has other ideas, you're welcome to contribute those in the chat.

And I want to share too that just simply last week—some of these changes can be so small in the classroom—they were presenting about something they learned about ancient China, and my son had built a boat. And he had researched boats, and his strength is his memory and his ability to speak, and his weakness is writing.

And so she said, "Go up and present—be one of the first ones." And he said, "But I didn't write a script." And she said, "You don't need a script." And he went right up and presented. And that removed such a big barrier, emphasized his strengths over his weaknesses, he gave a great presentation—he didn't need a script.

So those are examples of things like this where you can make the kids' world so much easier in such a simple way.

Callie Turk:

Everything that we've talked to up until this point are things you can work on with your teachers directly. But if you're finding that that's not solving the challenges and you need more support, your child may qualify for a 504 or an IEP through the school.

And some 504 accommodations for 2e students can be around:

• Alternative demonstration of mastery.

• Access to challenging activities.

• Reducing the amount of repetitive tasks.

• Offering the student more choices about what they write about or what area they research.

• Support during group work.

• And leadership opportunities to emphasize the strengths.

And then if your student actually needs services at school—such as counseling, social skills classes, behavioral support, occupational therapy, assistive technology, and things like that—then you may need to qualify for an IEP in order to access those services.

So these are just other tools that you may use. And I think one of the things we've pointed out here, Yael, is that if you're feeling really overwhelmed or confused or you don't feel like you're being heard, you can reach out to an advocate.

And we got these tips from a group called Landmark Advocacy, who did a presentation for us last fall. And they can really—also, they don't—you don't have to use an advocate to go in and fight with the district. It doesn't have to be a fight. It can be coaching behind the scenes—like they can prepare you for a meeting, they can help you come up with ideas for goals for your child.

They can also provide that direct support by going with you to meetings if you need that level of support. They're very good at brainstorming solutions to unique challenges that 2e students face—if you find the right ones.

So we did it! We made it—I don't know, we rushed through, but we made it to the end with eight minutes to spare and time for questions.

If anyone has questions or if you just want to have a conversation—like we said—I'm Callie, this is Yael. I have all the different ways you can be in touch with us here. You can email us, you can check out our website, follow us on Facebook and Twitter.

And we also have our Google Groups sign-up here. We have a private email list where people can post resources and events and activities, ask questions, and get more helpful advice.

And these were just some of the credits and the resources. And like I mentioned, all of this is available in the document that we shared, so you should have access to this. And I will just go back and pull that up too so you can see what all is in there.

So Dana was asking, "What percentage of gifted kids have allergies?" I think that's a great question, Dana. I'm going to turn off the recording, and we can have our Q&A if you'd like.