11 Tips for Parenting Neurodivergent and 2e Children for School Success

As featured in Bay Area Parent Magazine

Here are our top tips for parenting neurodivergent and twice-exceptional learners for school success.

1. Learn more about neurodiversity. Deepen your understanding of how different brains learn and process the world. The more you know, the better you can advocate for and support your child’s unique strengths.

Start with this 2e Checklist.

2. Be curious and empathetic. Your child isn’t giving you a hard time. They’re having a hard time. Listen to their perspective with openness and compassion. Understanding their experience helps strengthen trust, connection and resilience.

3. Celebrate and use their strengths to tackle challenges. Celebrate your child’s strengths. Focus on activities that tap into their interests – spending more time on what excites them than on supporting their challenges. Using strengths to approach difficult areas is often the most effective path to success. Help them see themselves as capable by celebrating efforts as well as talent. If they love tech, try apps that support writing; if they’re artistic, encourage sketching ideas before turning them into words.

Learn more about strength finding here. 

4. Build strong teacher relationships. Reach out early, share what works for your child, lean into the strengths-based language we share above and keep communication open. Let the teacher know you’re a partner – share what works at home and offer to help navigate what they observe in the classroom. When teachers see the whole child, not just the struggles, everyone wins. 

Here’s a template you can use and the accompanying video to guide you.

5. Advocate for the right accommodations in school. From extra time to advanced coursework or different ways to show mastery, the right supports help 2e learners shine in their strengths while managing challenges – and build confidence along the way. It may feel challenging to navigate, but speaking up for your child is one of the most important ways to help them succeed.

Get our Parent's Guide to IEPs California Bay Area Edition

6. Collaborate with their team. Partner with teachers, specialists and resources such as executive function coaches to create consistent support. You don’t have to do this alone – building a team ensures your child gets what they need to thrive.

Here’s a Bay Area Support Directory curated by our Community.

7. Normalize differences. Let your child know that brains work in all kinds of ways and that’s what makes people unique. Sometimes kids (and adults!) need extra support or accommodations – not because they’re less capable, but because that’s how their brain learns best. Everyone has strengths and challenges, and neurodivergent people often have incredible abilities, just like Richard Branson, Simone Biles and Steve Jobs. Needing extra help or accommodations isn’t a weakness, it’s simply part of how they learn best. 

Explore this list of books featuring neurodivergent characters

8. Focus on progress, not perfection. Grades can be misleading for 2e students. Celebrate small wins, effort and persistence instead of just test scores.

9. Support big feelings. 2e kids often feel deeply and intensely, and it can come out as frustration, excitement or anxiety. Teach them calming tools (breathing, movement, journaling) and be their safe space when emotions spill over.

Try this 4 step method by Emily Kircher-Morris, creator of the Neurodiversity Podcast.

10. Nurture passions inside and outside of school. School doesn’t always showcase your child’s brilliance, so find ways to bring their passions into learning. Ask teachers to let them write about favorite topics or research subjects they love. Beyond the classroom, nurture these interests through hobbies and activities – video game coding camps for tech lovers, hiking clubs for active kids – so they can shine and feel successful both in and out of school. 

Be inspired by this blog about a teen who found friendship by embracing their passion for hiking.

11. Be patient – with them and yourself. And finally, this path isn’t always linear. Some days will feel like setbacks but remember: your child’s quirks and gifts are all part of who they are becoming. Hold onto hope – these kids can (and do!) thrive with the right support, and, most importantly, nurture yourself, too. Because they need you! Your well-being is the foundation of theirs, and caring for yourself gives you the strength and perspective to keep showing up for them.

Take care of yourself with guidance from Open Doors Therapy

We always love to share this blog by our Executive Director on her journey - to remind us all that we are not alone.