Rethinking Motivation, Creating a Sparks and Blockers Menu
- Teresa Nair
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
Updated: 15 hours ago
How to identify sparks and blockers with your kids and turn into menus you can use as part of your family's motivation cycle. Sparks activate and blockers shut down. This is a great way to understand motivation. Use a downloadable list of ideas.
Download these helpful lists of sparks and blockers
Read the transcript here
0:00 Hi everyone, I'm Teresa from REEL. Welcome back. So, in this video, we're going to talk about identifying sparks and blockers with your kids and how to turn those ideas into simple menus that you can use as part of your family's motivation cycle. If you watched the video previously, we talked about motivation as a cycle. And there are two key pieces in this cycle, one that activates, which are our sparks, and one that shuts down, which are our blockers. So, let's look at how to explore those together in a way that feels curious and without judgment.
0:45 The goal is not to fix motivation. It's to understand it. So, a great way to begin is by simply asking your child, when something feels hard to start, what helps your brain or your body begin? Or you can ask, "When you do get started, what made that possible?" These questions open up open up conversation without judgment.
1:09 To make it easier, we've created a downloadable sparks and blockers list. It includes common examples we see in neurodivergent kids. Start with whatever ideas your child brings up naturally. Then look at the downloadable list together and see if there are any in there that seem interesting. Do any of these sound like something you might want to try? Could be a question that you ask. Would one of these possibly help us get started next time? Sometimes kids don't know all of their sparks yet. And seeing a list can help them recognize what feels right for them.
1:51 A sparks menu is simply a list of things that helps your kid activate. It might include music, a playlist, movement, humor, a body double, having choice, or connecting the task to something meaningful. I had one parent in our small group discussions who commented, "My husband does a great job of using humor and a bit of urgency in our morning routine. It changes the whole tone of getting out the door. So, we can identify humor with a touch of urgency can be some sparks for the morning routine. Add the sparks with your child's name and then highlight a few options from the list that could be worth experimenting. This becomes part of your toolkit to get started.
2:47 Blockers are the things that get in our way. These might include uncertainty, sensory overload, boredom, transition, anxiety, missing skills. Ask your child what made this feel hard to start. Did something make your brain stop? For my child, the noisy bathroom exhaust fan was a blocker for bathing. I'm glad she told me we could fix that. These answers build your blockers menu and you can expand on it from the downloadable list. Naming blockers helps us adjust expectations and remove some of the pressure. It gives us some clarity.
3:37 Once you have a sparks and blockers menu, you have a shared language at home. Before starting a task, you can ask, "Do we need a spark?" or "Are we hitting any blockers?" After the task, during reflection and feedback, you can ask, "Did that spark we tried help? Was there a blocker that we didn't see?" So, instead of pushing motivation, we're adapting the system. Our hope is that one day when your kiddo is faced with a massive research project, they don't continually try to just push their way through. They might have moments where they stop and realize their hunger is a blocker and go and get themselves a snack. And then as they head back, they grab their comfy blanket and multicolored sticky notes, which might be fun, novel, and sensory pleasant sparks to get them ready to curl back up and begin their research again. You're helping your child understand themselves better and identify what they might need.
4:48 If you haven't yet, check out our short intro video video on rethinking motivation and a little bit more about the motivation cycle. These short videos are just a place to begin. If you want to go deeper, our facilitated small group discussions offer a supportive place to learn, reflect, and communicate with other parents. Or join our online community or comment here. I am motivated to learn more about you and your family and learn from you guys. As always, contact your child's doctor or therapists as needed. And thank you for being here. You are not alone on this journey.