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On Jan 13, 2022, REEL members met in our PHP online support group and used Padlet to share strategies for communicating with teachers and schools about their 2e students, their biggest concern for the year, tools they need to advocate for change around their area of concern, and setting a goal to make change at their school for the year. We have summarized the takeaways with the goal of helping parents make change at their school for their 2e child. REEL is here to help with resources (we add more based on your feedback ) and our parent support group where you can get advice from other parents of 2e students. Every time a parent reaches out to their teacher, school, or district about 2e, they can effect change not only for their own student, but for all 2e students - as the schools hear about this from more and more parents, they are more likely to make a change. What have you tried in the past and how did it work out? Many parents found that communication with teachers at the start of the year was a successful strategy. They shared what worked in the past, what works at home, and what the student needs to succeed. Some shared REEL’s Intro to 2e One Pager . “I’m seeing that at my child’s particular school, I need to talk to the teachers at the beginning of the year about what he needs to succeed.” One parent wished for “some good ways to let them know that we deeply appreciate what they do while also requesting support and accommodations for our kiddos.” Head to the "Back to school" section of REEL's 2e Tools page to find relevant event recordings, a downloadable student one-sheet , other articles, and more. Another popular strategy was getting an IEP/504 for the student. It provided documentation and steps for support. One parent suggested meeting every 30 days to adjust the IEP plan. Some parents were frustrated they couldn’t get an IEP/504 for their 2e child because they didn’t present in the delineated way. Others lamented that even with an IEP/504 the support was subpar. “ Simply getting a 504 plan set up has been a step in the right direction . There are documented accommodations we can discuss and check in on. They have helped my son in some ways but it's no silver bullet.” Watch REEL’s 2e IEP/504 Support with Lamborn Advocacy for information about how to get an IEP/504 for your 2e student. Many parents brought in a team for support - the most commonly used outside resource are advocates. “ Having an advocate changed everything for us . It empowered us not to be dismissed so easily and gain a better understanding of the process. I had someone on our side who focused on the big picture. A lifesaver for sure.” Sometimes we forget to ask the student what would help them, but they often know best: “My son told the teacher, ‘ Instead of telling me what I'm doing wrong, ask me how you can help me ’ - that pivotal comment changed everything.” What is the most pressing or important 2e-related challenge you'd like to see change or improve? Parents want to see more education about learning differences and 2e, and more kindness and creativity in supporting 2e. They wanted teachers to avoid getting into power struggles and remove 2e stigma from the classroom. “ Professional development for teachers so they are better equipped to teach and support our children.” You can share REEL’s educator resources with your school or classroom. The group wanted their kids to use their strengths at school and be allowed more flexibility in how they present their knowledge. They wanted their children to enjoy going to school. “ I’d like my son to be happy with school . He’s only 6 and has hated it the entire time. I wish people understood that 6 is too young to be miserable and to try things differently with him.” Watch REEL’s Strength-based Strategies presentation and Strength-based Strategies to Kick Off the New Year blog post to learn how to bring out your child’s strengths. Parents also wanted their kids to accept their differences and use the accommodations offered. “Is anyone having issues with their 2e child refusing to use accommodations , unwilling to accept the diagnosis?” / “Yes to not using accommodations…they do not want anything else that makes them seem different”. Read Mike’s story and learn about his relationship with accommodations and his diagnosis. Several parents were concerned about a lack of social support at school, “I would like my child to make more social connections at school .” REEL will look into the creation of an event or document about this topic. 2e students often don’t fit a clean mold for “gifted” or “requiring IEP services” and parents often find themselves stuck in the middle - not receiving support because the child is clearly bright, or not having access to accelerated learning due to their challenges. “ Since nothing is "Wrong" we can't get support for him through the typical avenues. ” Watch REEL’s 2e IEP/504 Support with Lamborn Advocacy for information about how to get an IEP/504 for your 2e student. What is one goal you have for working with your child's school this year? “My goal is for my son to feel psychologically safe around all of his teachers - that when he is refusing to do work or escalating, they get to the bottom of it and diffuse it rather than escalating it further.” “My goal is for the school to create two new social opportunities that my child would actually like to participate in.” “My son says, ’All school is boring; that's just the way it is, mom!’ I'd like to see the school make it a priority to get kids to see that school can be exciting and stimulating!” “Be proactive and engage my son in a nightly routine - discussions where I prompt him to ask follow up questions and to work on listening skills / conversational skills” (Try REEL’s rating scale ). “I met with my child's team in early December about supporting her social skills development…I haven't seen any action on these… So, my goal is to re-send that follow up email and re-ignite the plan we had.” “Primarily, I want him to feel comfortable with reading and writing…I want him to feel comfortable reading books quietly to himself, and writing a page or two, without worrying about spelling.” “Our goal is to find a male ‘Life Coach’ with 2e child knowledge/understanding, to work with our 2e child psychologist and 2e young adult (18 yrs) transition to College.” (See REEL’s Marci Schwartz presentation .) “A small step for me would be finding ways to connect with other 2e parents at our school, so that we could find common goals and advocate together.” “I’d like my son to be safe at school. I wish the teacher explained how people can be different.” What is your goal for the year? Share it with us at hello@reel2e.org

Dear REEL community,Happy New Year! I hope your 2025 is off to a great start. Over the past few weeks, REEL has been working on our own resolutions - we have been engaged in exciting strategy sessions with Manresa Collaboration. Together, we are developing REEL’s roadmap towards our vision for the future, where all Bay Area neurodivergent and twice-exceptional students are supported, understood, and achieving their potential in school. Credit to Manresa Collaboration for photo. We also received a new year’s gift: our short video explaining the  DEAR REEL model , which REEL developed in 2024 in partnership with our Educator Advisory Group, was finished by video producer extraordinaire and neurodiversity guru,  Erin Tee . I am excited to share it with you here: I’m looking forward to connecting with all of you at REEL’s upcoming first ever K-12 Strengths Fair ! March 9th promises to be a great day - don’t miss it! Later that month, we’ll host a panel of incredible neurodivergent young adults  during Neurodiversity Celebration Week. In February, keep an eye out for us at upcoming conferences: Gift-A-Palooza February 6 - 8Sat, Feb 8, 10am PST: Sparking Autistic Interests: From Research to PracticeSat, Feb 8, 11:30am PST: Strength-Based Strategies for the Neurodivergent Child William & Mary 2e Conference February 27 - March 1Thursday, Feb 27, 12:45pm PST: The DEAR REEL Model Behind the scenes, we’re busy working with Bay Area educators - since my last update, we’ve had sessions at the Menlo Park School District, the English Curriculum leaders in North American French Schools, Athena Academy, Serra High School, and others; and we have events coming up over the next few months at the San Carlos School District, Stevenson Elementary in Mountain View, and at the Nueva School. After each and every one of our professional development workshops, we consistently walk away feeling impressed, inspired, and honored to work with such committed, curious, and passionate teachers. As always, if you don't see your school on the list but are interested in having REEL work with your school, please connect us to your school leadership! Reach out to hello@reel2e.org  anytime. See you March 9th! Abby Kirigin REEL Executive Director

Neurodiversity Week was started by high school student Siena Castellon to make a more inclusive school environment for Neurodiverse students. Over 1000 schools are participating this year! REEL would like to celebrate Neurodiversity Week with you by asking that you do just one thing - forward one 2e resource to an educator in your child's life! Ideas of things to send to your educators: REEL articles: Intro to 2e One Pager , Is Your Child Twice-Exceptional Checklist , Living and Learning 2e Teen Voices, How Public Schools Can Support 2e Learners REEL videos: Ever Had a Kid Like Me? , What is 2e and the DEAR REEL Model Recommend a free registration to 2e News Videos: Dan Peters Giftedness, Talent, and Disability , Seth Perler What is 2e Kid , Aurora Public Schools 2e Learners Books to buy or recommend for your classroom or library , Emily Kircher Morris Teaching Twice Exceptional Learners  and Neurodiversity Affirming Schools Connect REEL with your school for educator professional development If everyone does just one thing, together we will make a big impact. Let us know what one thing you did this week in the comments below or on our social media! "By acknowledging and celebrating the strengths of neurodiverse students, we can begin the seismic shift of changing the way students with special needs are perceived and treated at school and also the change the way neurodivergent students feel about themselves."

My 2e kid is a full body laugh-er. But, up until a few months ago, I had forgotten. My daughter hasn’t always struggled. There was a time when joy and curiosity radiated out of her every pore. But, by the time she was 10, traditional schools and societal expectations had molded her into a person we know longer recognized. At this point, interactions with her were met with a creative mix of exhaustion, avoidance, and frustration. After realizing our local public school was part of the problem, (like many parents of 2e kids) we went down the rabbit hole of educational options: public charter school, private gifted school, private LD school, supportive boarding school. But, none of these schools understood the complexity that came with being REALLY asynchronous.  By her senior year, my daughter had transitioned to a more flexible homeschool/online charter high school to help her get across the finish line. Still, everyday was a slog. Her joy was gone. Her nervous system was in shutdown mode.   As the end of high school loomed, my daughter became more withdrawn and avoidant. Seemingly innocent requests about her future plans were met with terror in her eyes, a change of subject, and sometimes, a change of room–door slam included.  It had come time for me to internalize that my daughter was not ready for the demands of college. So instead of diving into the college applications process during her senior year of high school, my daughter opted to take an unstructured gap year after graduation. And six months into it, I can confidently say that this decision has positively changed the trajectory of her life. There are many gap year programs available for the kids who are not ready for college or don’t know what they want to do next. Some programs focus on skill building, some focus on independent living, some are internship/co-op programs. However, all of the gap year programs we looked at had the same thing in common: they were structured. Most all the programs had posted daily schedules and requirements. They looked a lot like school. The last thing my daughter needed was more school.  What my daughter needed was the opportunity to define who she is and who she aspires to be. After years of being told she wasn’t ever “quite right,” she didn’t know who she was anymore. She only knew what she wasn’t. She wasn’t a great student. She wasn’t like other kids. It didn’t matter if we thought she was great. Bullying from teachers and students had left my daughter a shell of her former joyful self. My daughter had spent so many years being defined by the wrong system, she had internalized that she was the one that was broken. Does my daughter need to work on strengthening her independent living skills? Yes. Does she lack some critical time management strategies to succeed in college? Yes. Does she need to address the perfectionism that keeps her from performing to her potential? Yes, to all of it. However, instead of trying to meet a structured gap year program’s benchmarks, she is learning these skills through real life experiences that she chooses. My daughter understands that these are the skills she will need to master in order to be successfully independent (e.g. remembering to take her medication, keeping a calendar, shopping for healthy food.)  This fall my daughter applied to a number of colleges*. In fact, the college application process became an unexpected structure for this unstructured gap year. From the preparation, to the application, to making a final decision, planning for college has given her a reason to stay focused. With each school acceptance letter, her confidence has grown. The application process has become a real world lesson in organization, communication, time management and self-acceptance. For the first time since she was little, my daughter is excited for her future.  Part of this excitement is rooted in her ability to have control over her days. As a newly minted adult, my daughter’s days are hers to schedule. Has there been a lot of video games and anime? Of course. But there has also been a lot of time to engage in other activities. She meets with a private tutor to prepare for college-level Calculus, volunteers at the Humane Society, practices Japanese, and draws daily. She has found a group of friends online with similar interests and has established a Twitch streaming channel. She still has down days and hiccups, but for the most part, the good has far outweighed the bad. Going away to college is still super scary for my daughter, but I think she is up for the challenge. More importantly, I think that there is now a part of her that thinks she is, too. The unstructured gap year didn’t eliminate my daughter’s challenges, but it allowed her to take ownership of the steps she will need to take in order to reach her goals. There is once again light in her eyes and emotion in her choices .  Our 2e kids know what they need, but some of them struggle to define it. As parents, I think it is paramount that we allow our children the opportunity to seek out what makes them happy, even if it takes time. I am a firm believer that time is really just a construct and the gift of failure is an opportunity to step back and reevaluate our values . It may not be for everyone, but the unstructured gap year is what my daughter needed. I am happy to report that 6 months in, not a day goes by that we don't hear our girl full body laugh.  *Note: Shout out to fellow REELer and independent college counselor, Helen Amick, for all of her support in making my daughter’s college application journey so successful. Gabrielle Boles is currently a Master’s student at the Bridges Graduate School. She is a 20 year veteran of the California higher education system primarily working with marginalized and underrepresented students. Her current research interests include the perception of gifted/2e outliers and identifying internalized bias in the classroom. Gabrielle lives in a comically twice-exceptional house with two teenage daughters, a husband and a (most likely) 2e dog.

Twice exceptional students have few forums to express their lived educational experiences. REEL is pleased to launch “Living and Learning 2e,” a new blog series dedicated to giving twice exceptional children, teens, and young adults a place to share their voices. Ava M. is our second guest blogger. She attended Palo Alto Unified School District schools through her 10th grade year, when she discovered how her mental health diagnosis affects her learning style and executive functions. Ava enjoys learning about plants and the environment, and wants to continue to study environmental studies in college. In her spare time, she loves writing stories, embroidering, and hiking. She finished her last two years of high school in the Foothill Middle College program and is off to Sarah Lawrence College. Ava contributed this blog based on her desire to help other students who face similar challenges. When Learning Loses Its Joy I recently found my fourth grade report card while sifting through old documents and worksheets, reminiscing on my life before school became something I no longer looked forward to. “She is eager to learn… she is motivated to learn… she surpassed her reading goal by over 600%.” I can’t help but wonder where my performance in school started straying from my strong track record of elementary school report cards. Being a twice-exceptional learner used to be a quality that got me into accelerated reading and advanced math classes, because in elementary school, learning is about learning. Sadly, this is something I’ve found changes over time. Middle school is about figuring out how to be a high functioning student, and high school is about getting good grades, high test scores, and being accepted into a top ranked university. This means mindless note taking, writing essays that match what the teacher wants to read, turning in purposeless worksheets, and doing all of this as fast as possible. I started noticing that the feedback my teachers gave me shifted from commending my exceptional motivation to learn to suggesting I turn in assignments more quickly and focus on ways to raise my grades. In tenth grade I was placed in a class focused on helping underperforming students organize their schoolwork and learn more efficient study skills. Basically, nearly everyone in the class either had a 504 plan, IEP, or a challenging home life that made it hard for them to succeed. This class was called “focus on success.” I was embarrassed to be in the class, and tried everything I could to get out of being placed there. I wouldn’t admit to anyone that I was taking the class, and would actively avoid being seen walking towards the classroom out of fear of being made fun of for not being as “normal” as my peers. Why do we think it’s bad to get help when struggling? Assignment Overload A massive challenge I’ve had is turning in assignments on time. I often found my hands resting on my keyboard and my eyes locked on the blinking cursor on Google Docs, unable to figure out what’s wrong. There are so many different perspectives running around my mind at once; deciding which one to listen to is the most time consuming part of school work. This causes an issue with perfectionism, as I definitely can’t please every part of my mind with all the assignments I finish and tests I take. This leads to late work stacking up, incomplete tests that result in point deductions, more stress and panic, and a never ending hole that slowly starts caving in. I was too embarrassed to admit this to anyone for two whole years, and as you can imagine, my grades suffered. Not only did my grades suffer, but so did my self esteem. My entire two years at Gunn High School, I felt stupid. I didn’t think I was smart; I didn’t know how to learn; and I assumed that I didn’t have any future in academia. Life Changing Teachers I spent the last two years of high school at Foothill Middle College, the most life-changing academic experience of my life. Two of the greatest and most supportive teachers I’ve ever had were there: my history and English teachers. They understood the hardships my learning disability brings me, but didn’t choose to look at them as hardships. Instead of ridiculing the time it took me to turn in writing assignments, they celebrated the achievements and focused on the content of the assignments. Instead of being upset with me for needing to take a few minutes alone outside during class, they asked if there was any other way to help. They treated me as their equal in a way no adult had before, and it finally made me feel comfortable enough to believe in my abilities as a student. As a learning community and wider society, we choose to look at learning disabilities as disabilities . It even says so in the name! The truth is, they’re not. They can include insane amounts of creativity, the ability to see things in a way that “regular” people can’t, empathy, determination, enough knowledge to fill a library, and layer after layer of unseen talent. One of the biggest reasons I was able to go from nearly giving up on all aspects of my life (school included) to having straight A’s and being the happiest I’ve ever been is because of the non-judgmental and unconditional support my Foothills Middle College teachers gave me. They never made me feel guilty or as if my grade was in danger if I couldn’t turn something in by the deadline. My teachers didn’t make me feel like the letters on my transcript defined my self worth in the way that my home high school did. Instead, they reached their caring hands outward and offered an amount of help I had never experienced before. By being treated respectfully, getting rid of the competitive spirit amongst students brought about by my high school’s culture of focusing on the importance of grades, flexibility in the classroom, and 24/7 support (along with much more), my teachers showed me that I could love school once again. School should be about learning and growing as an individual, and that should be available to all types of learners. My favorite teachers are the only adults I’ve met that have understood that, and actually practiced what they preached. Talk to Your Teachers My greatest piece of advice to other 2e learners is sitting down and having a conversation with your teachers. Asking for help and admitting that you can’t do something on your own takes strength, and should be commended. Making a plan with revised due dates, prioritization of different assignments, designated study times, and activities to de-stress in between all of this is extremely helpful. You may find that your teacher is much more understanding than you thought. Constantly remind yourself that school is about learning. Your grades don’t always reflect how well you know a subject, and they never reflect your self worth. A person is worth so much more than a letter on a piece of paper. If you focus on your strengths and the subjects you enjoy, your grades are more likely to show how well you’ve mastered the material. Teachers, Flexibility is the Answer A piece of advice I have for educators is to be flexible with students. People learn at different paces, and require different activities and teaching methods. For example, I have friends that will suck up information from documentaries and remember it forever, while documentaries are a one-way ticket to daydream land for me. Another example of flexibility I have is from my experience at Middle College. The students in my class were given creative freedom on every project assigned, thanks to the trust we had built with our teachers. If we didn’t like the prompt for an assignment, that was ok, as long as we turned something in that demonstrated our knowledge of the topic. Something as seemingly unimportant as this made a massive difference. I found that I learned so much more when I was allowed to do a project I was motivated to complete. It’s challenging and sometimes impossible to accommodate every student’s needs, but making it clear that you’re there to help come up with ways for students to feel confident in the material is crucial. Hope is Possible I’m thankful for the support I’ve found and for my ability to persevere. My struggles have made me stronger, and I’ve learned how to be successful over several long years of trial and error. Thanks to all of this, I’m looking forward to life, and will be attending Sarah Lawrence College in the fall. If someone had told my 9th grade self that, I would’ve laughed and called them a liar. Change is possible, but it isn’t easy and can’t be done overnight. There is no one magic cure-all tip I can give, but I can share my experience in hopes of it resonating with someone struggling in the way I did.

Twice-exceptional students have few forums to express their lived educational experiences. REEL is pleased to launch “Living and Learning 2e,” a new blog series dedicated to giving twice exceptional children, teens, and young adults a place to share their voices. Mike M. is our third guest blogger. He attended Palo Alto Unified School District for elementary and middle schools. In addition to his eloquence and imagination, Mike loves games such as Guitar Hero and Final Fantasy VI. He’s an avid Magic the Gathering player. He also loves making music through singing, drums, keyboard, bass guitar, and music production with Ableton and Sound Cloud. Diagnosed with ADHD and dysgraphia in elementary school, Mike welcomed the opportunity to reflect on his experience as a twice-exceptional learner before launching into high school - especially in this Covid-19 era. What has it felt like to be both exceptionally bright and experience ADHD and dysgraphia? So many terms and buzzwords get thrown around me. I suppose that I’ve never felt like I have a disability because I don’t know what it’s like to have “ability” - who I am just feels normal to me because I don’t know what it’s like to not have these problems. I’ve known that I learn differently from other people for a long time and I’ve accepted that. I’m not going to beat up myself for it. I’ve been downplaying the brightness aspect of my personality for a few years now because it’s oppressively anti-social to be a “know it all” and, if I don’t understand something, it’s a complete blow to my identity. I prefer to not talk about how smart I am or how much I can do. I’ve erased all of that from my identity - it just came off as being a huge jerk. I really don’t want to communicate “I’m so cool, I can do so much” as part of who I am. If I’m meeting someone, I don’t want to talk about what I can do because it feels like I’m trying to paint myself as God of everything instead of a human being. When talking now, I’m more of a passive observer; before, a lot of who I was and what I talked about alienated people and made them not want to be around me. I’m very comfortable talking about ADHD and dysgraphia, but I don’t want to make them part of my personality because they don’t add anything to who I am. They’re just things about me. I’m willing to mention it, but I don’t feel obligated to say it. It’s not a personality trait. Just putting it up at the forefront makes it sound like I’m grasping at straws for who I am as a person. When I first learned about my ADHD and dysgraphia, I wore them like a badge of honor. I thought I was cool and had these things that made it harder for me, that I was working harder than everyone else; I know now that wasn’t true. What is your interior experience like that others might not know about? I feel like I’m not being true to myself because I’ve been eliminating elements of my idea of myself because I don’t want me being smart or me having disabilities to be part of who I am in any way possible. I’d rather just ignore them. I know that’s not being true to myself but at the same time I don’t feel like being true to myself is the right option. When I’m alone, I can be myself. I don’t feel like I’m putting on a mask because I have become the mask in this weird sense. My desire to not let these things control me has forced them to not control me. I experience a general sense of frustration with most things. It’s hard to line up specifics that make things challenging for me. It’s not like one thing, it’s a series of multiple isolated examples that just add up into something. Something that’s incredibly clear to other people on the instruction sheet doesn’t make sense to me and it takes me reading it 10 times to figure out what it means. It was great going from having to hand write everything to using a computer, but in a weird way it just made me feel less understood. It made me feel like people weren’t trying to help me as a person, but rather some idealized version of me. When I switched to using the computer, people would think all of these problems would be fixed. But I still have trouble reading instructions and not understanding exactly what teachers want. Just because I have the ability to type, all of the other problems weren’t magically fixed. Things just aren’t designed for me. But, the world shouldn’t have to adapt to my weird inner ideas of what’s right. So I kind of gave up on forcing things to work for me. It’s a lot better and easier if I adapt to the world. I am missing some things, but the doors that open for me are very valuable and I’m willing to miss those things. Who was the teacher who really understood you and helped you learn the best? Honestly, my 3rd grade teacher. It wasn’t anything specific that she did. It’s just that, for everyone, her teaching style was incredibly kind and understanding. She really took the time to figure out what made each student tick. In middle school, my 7th grade science teacher really took the time to be sure that everyone was understood and got the help they needed to learn. For my learning style, it’s helpful when things are clear and put out in front of me; then, I can understand easily. So, the best teachers are the ones who communicate clearly and make sure I understand what I need to be doing. The key is that both of these teachers did what I needed for everyone in the class and that was what was so nice about them. They weren’t just trying to be sure I would be satisfied but that everyone would be satisfied. When it’s just me, I feel like I’m being singled out and even if the intent is to be helpful, it doesn’t always feel like that. In a weird way, it feels forced, like they were told to help rather than something they wanted to do. With my 3rd and 7th grade teachers, learning just felt natural. What advice do you have for parents and teachers working with learners like you? Honestly, for everyone, I feel just be patient and understand. Not a lot of special accommodations are needed as much as being patient and letting me take things at my own pace. If that happened, no other accommodations would be needed. For teachers, please just make sure I’m understanding things by checking in with me every so often, after a lecture, but don’t make it oppressive. Step by step instructions are really helpful, too. What are you looking forward to in the future? I’m taking things one day at a time. I’m not looking forward to anything now, it’s such weird times, it’s just going to disappoint me. I look forward to eating lunch—little things like that. If there’s a chance something might disappoint me, I don’t look forward to it. I just take things one step at a time. Thinking about a younger student, like myself at seven years old, I would just hope that things would be easier for him and for others. For that seven year old, I hope they get the help they need. Be patient. If they don’t understand, then help them.

Twice-exceptional students have few forums to express their lived educational experiences. REEL is pleased to launch “Living and Learning 2e,” a new blog series dedicated to giving twice exceptional children, teens, and young adults a place to share their voices. Noah B. is our fourth guest blogger. Noah is a twice-exceptional 11th grader at one of the Summit Public Schools in the SF Bay Area. He attended his local public schools in Half Moon Bay before switching to Helios School for 7th and 8th grades, which “turned out to be the best decision I have made.” His passion in life is photography; ever since he tried out his dad’s camera, he was hooked. He also is involved in the “car scene,” which he says is a “surprisingly large and accepting community.” When he is not getting to know new car enthusiasts and photographers, he spends his time doing what he does best: extreme sports. The Best Teacher You Ever Had Who was the teacher who really understood you and helped you learn the best? The best—and strictest—teacher I ever had was my 6th grade history teacher, Mr. Rippberger. He was really good about making sure nobody felt worried about going to his class. He also heard about me having ADHD and actually let me know after one of my classes that he also had ADD and was open to finding a way to help me, not only get my work done, but also improve to the point of not needing reminders. It was probably the first time that I actually noticed my ability to focus and my challenge with blurting out improving. He was never afraid of letting me know when I was talking too much. Whenever someone today asks me how they can help me when I am speaking out of turn, I tell them to just do what he did, which is to be straight forward and tell me what I’m doing, since I’m not always aware of it. Funnily, I learned how to format notes in his class, and I still prefer that method over all the other ones I’ve tried. From the Inside—What 2e Feels Like What are things you've experienced in your interior world that the external world might not know about and how has it changed over time? For me, being a 2e learner felt surprisingly normal, with the exception that the actual rate I was learning was slower than for others, and people kept telling me something was wrong. The problem with my “disability” was that I was not aware of what I was doing wrong. Whether talking too much, talking out of turn, not paying attention to someone, or not being able to hold still, I was never aware of it, meaning I had no way of stopping. This has always conflicted with other people because to them, it appeared almost intentional since when told to stop, I would shortly continue the behavior I was doing before. It would distress me a lot because people would randomly lose their cool or get annoyed at me, for what appeared to me was nothing. At heart I am in no way whatsoever a trouble maker; in fact, I hate causing others trouble with a passion. At some point I realized others would not figure this out on their own, so I slowly began adapting to the situation and making myself easier to understand. Unlike most people I know, I don't keep secrets if the knowledge could help someone in any way. Even though being an open book may seem like a bad thing, it has, actually, almost completely solved my social problems concerning people disliking me. Back in middle school, I would seem to attract negative attention, be it bullying or something similar. (It got so bad that I had multiple valuable possessions stolen from right in front of me, so I decided to switch schools for 7th grade.) I am not sure exactly why the change helped, but my assumption is that I used to be that kid who seemed to be in his own world, and that nobody who would be angry or insulted if another person bullied me. Since I began being more open about myself, I’m more outgoing; I used to walk around with my head down, never talking to people. Now, I believe people don't have a reason to see me as a target. I don't lie, I don't belong to some “social group” other people might have beef with, and I don't participate in any activities someone might consider dumb or an attack. Since I always give a logical answer when asked a logical question, and help out when someone has a logical problem, I act as a sort of mediator, or neutral party. (Wow that was long, I dislike writing but when it comes to my way of living and mentality on things, I have a lot of thoughts. And they seem to work.) Advice for Parents and Teachers What are the top things parents or teachers can do to support 2e learners? It’s not simple. From my two years of middle school experience at a school dedicated to gifted and 2e learners (shout-out to Helios!!), I have noticed that every one of us needs support in a different way. If we are talking about 2e as a whole, the best solution is to ask what will help best, as what works for one person could do the opposite for another. For instance, for me personally, don’t be afraid to tell me if I need to change what I am doing—that is the best way to help. Many teachers instinctually either feel like they are doing something wrong or insulting me by telling me if I am doing something they don’t think is “right”. Or, they tell me to stop doing something once, and then assume I am defying them when I eventually do it again. Every time someone asks me how they can help, I say the same thing, “Legit, just tell me what I am doing wrong and I will try to fix it.” If I am not aware of my mistake I am not physically capable of fixing it. So please just say exactly what you are thinking, don't sugarcoat it; I probably won't understand what someone means if they say “The birds are chirping too much” or something else with a “hidden” message. All of this goes for both parents and teachers, although I highly recommend not using this advice for anyone other than me, as everyone else I know would not take being told so directly to “shut up” as lightly. What’s Next? What are you looking forward to in the future or what do you hope will happen next for other 2e students? In the future I am looking forward to a lot of things. One thing that I do enjoy and look forward to is seeing the face people make when I tell them I’m actually one of those “autistic kids” they were just joking about. Not only is the fact that they don't believe me rather satisfying, but I am always glad to change someone’s perspective on what It means to be 2e. I hope that everywhere I go, I can help others realize that 2e people aren't a joke, but more like superhumans held back by mental chains. I hope that, as other 2e students learn and grow, they will realize that what used to seem like problems to them, are more like challenges to which the reward is a better, free self. I also believe that we need more awareness on who and what a 2e student is, as too many people are living their lives believing that they are just dumb or don't have what it takes. Those people need help, not to correct their problems, but to help overcome them. Since I was a little kid, I have realized that simply telling kids like me that Einstein was 2e is not going to solve anything if we don't know what or who is 2e right now. What Else Would You Like People to Know? I’m Noah Boyer and there is no reason I would ever hide that. In fact, I believe that the way we are hidden from others as if we weren't part of the normal world is counterproductive. Over the years I have become more and more connected to photography, to the point where I will not go anywhere without my camera. I love photography not only because it is a way for me to get out and challenge my creativity, but also because it is like a door into many parts of the world that others aren't even aware of. For me, a door I chose led me to the car enthusiasts scene, which is a surprisingly large and accepting community. Despite what people might imagine about a community of people who practically live in their garages making their cars as loud and powerful as possible, these people are actually really nice. Even being one of the youngest and newest people to the car scene, and not even owning my own car, no matter where I go these people recognize me as a friend and respect me as an equal. Even while driving around in potentially million dollar cars, taking photos for them feels like nothing more than hanging out with friends. Of course when I am not getting to know new car enthusiasts and photographers, I spend my time doing what I do best: sports. Preferably extreme sports. I often spend hours outside, pushing myself to my limit while doing parkour, biking, or inline skating. For me it is a way to escape from the boring rhythm of life, and find experiences and places I never dreamed I would discover.

Twice exceptional students have few forums to express their lived educational experiences. REEL is pleased to launch “Living and Learning 2e,” a new blog series dedicated to giving twice exceptional children, teens, and young adults a place to share their voices. Chris D. is our first guest blogger. Chris attended several elementary, middle, and high schools in Silicon Valley, both private and public. He wrote this blog as part of a course assignment for a sociology class. His goal is to show some of the challenges twice exceptional and other students may experience in today’s education system. The Best Teacher You Ever Had Who was the teacher who really understood you and helped you learn the best? I don’t think there is a teacher that fits that criteria exactly, but there are some that fit some of the criteria. I would say one of the teachers I had the best results with was Mr. Baker, my year eleven mathematics teacher. This was almost entirely down to one policy—he would accept late homework indefinitely, which allowed me to not fall too far behind and complete all the coursework in my own time. This allowed my grades to reflect my knowledge of the subject. Prior to this, I had continually frustrating experiences where the amount of effort put in, work completed, and content learned was completely disproportionate to my course grade. There have been other teachers I engaged with for different reasons and while there were things that made their classes more interesting and engaging, such as their passion for the subject and a willingness to occasionally explain more advanced details relevant to the subject, the format of the teaching made the class very difficult and frustrating. This includes lack of clarity on how to complete assignments and an unwillingness to explain, even after class, how to complete work when the assignment was unclear. The willingness to talk in greater depth about subjects is good, but it often cannot happen in class, which is stifling. From the Inside - What 2e Feels Like What are things you've experienced in your interior world that the external world might not know about and how has it changed over time? I would characterize it as frustrating and stressful. It has mostly ended up worse over time. As you get older and enter middle and high school, it’s very easy to fall behind and be caught in a position where it’s impossible to recover. Often there is an unclear assignment format early in the course or it takes some time to grasp the subject matter, but taking the extra time to figure that out, especially if the teacher or professor is not particularly helpful, means you stop being aligned with the course schedule. Another barrier is the bottlenecks that arise in middle and high school; for instance, you take multiple, dense courses that have more time-consuming tasks and assignments due at the same time, which usually leads me into a perpetual state of being behind, especially because often late assignments will be accepted but only with reduced credit. Even more days to turn in assignments doesn’t help with being perpetually behind, which inhibits learning the content and understanding recent assignments, since you’re focused on older work. Skipping over to the current stuff sets you back on the old stuff, permanently diminishing your grade, so the whole experience becomes difficult and not an accurate reflection of my knowledge in the course. Advice for Parents and Teachers What are the top things parents or teachers can do to support 2e learners? For teachers, I’ve found that the early assignments need to be clarified so the formatting for it and later assignments is very well understood. Providing examples of what is expected is very helpful. Also, allow for alternate ways to show content mastery, such as discussion based assessment of the content, so that if I have high marks on all exams, I am not required to go back and complete rote work while the course has moved on to new content. For example, if I’ve scored well on an exam, but am behind in assignments, allow the flexibility to just let me move on, since I’ve shown mastery of the content. For parents, asking 2E students to prioritize tasks, then complaining about how those tasks are prioritized makes it much harder to concentrate on getting the tasks complete. It’s especially important for parents of 2E students to clearly communicate expectations and priorities to ensure there isn’t a discrepancy in what each party is trying to express. What’s Next? What are you looking forward to in the future or what do you hope will happen next for other 2e students? The recent emphasis on online education could help 2E students who are better served under that model. Online education shows that there is a growing acceptance of alternative teaching methods and can allow for more freedom to work at one’s own pace.

Self-criticism, negative self talk and perfectionism… What can we do about it? Have you ever heard your child say things like this? “I’m so dumb. I’m so bad.” “It’s not good enough. I’m not good enough.” “I can’t believe I did that. I hate myself.” These kinds of thoughts come in so many different variations and are more common than we think. So many of us struggle with being incredibly hard on ourselves and speaking unkindly to ourselves. For a lot of 2e kids, they can often really struggle with perfectionism as well as being frustrated by the discrepancy of how much they know vs what they are able to show in school. This can lead to a lot of self-criticism and negative self-talk. In this blog post, I am going to share some ways to support your child with these specific challenges. As a recovering perfectionist, this topic is near and dear to my heart. I was incredibly hard on myself and my self-talk was not kind. While I did have almost perfect grades for my entire school career, my internal world was a mess to say the least. So many of the children and teens that I have supported over the years have struggled with self criticism, perfectionism and low self esteem often in part because they receive messages from school that they aren’t measuring up.  One thing that helped me with my own journey was discovering Self-Compassion and watching Kristin Neff’s TED talk.   I highly recommend checking out this TED talk if you or your child struggles with self-criticism or perfectionism. It is a great starting point. So when I had to choose a thesis topic as a graduate student in educational therapy, I chose Self-Compassion in Education because I saw the power of self-compassion in my own life. After completing my thesis and years of practice of self-compassion, I still don’t have it down perfectly but I definitely feel a lot better in myself. I also see meaningful transformation in the lives of the kids that I share it with. I have had kids share with me that they stopped hitting themselves after making mistakes after we discussed ways to practice self-compassion and I have also seen teens choose much kinder ways to treat themselves. One of the key takeaways of my thesis was that you cannot teach and pass on self-compassion to children if you do not practice it yourself.  My best advice is to start with yourself. Modeling self-compassion can go a very long way. There’s much more to share than I can in this blog post, but I created this list of questions below that can serve as a great starting point to start cultivating a kinder and more self-compassionate way to treat yourself.  I’m going to list my own answers in italics, but I encourage you to go through and explore your own answers. And if it would be a good fit for your child, maybe share some of these questions with the kids in your life too for them to explore. Does saying mean things to myself help me achieve being perfect all the time?   Nope.  Is it possible to be perfect all the time?   This one seems obvious, I know. But it took me a very long time to realize the answer is no. And that if the game I’m playing is to never make mistakes, I will always lose.  Do I have to believe everything I think?   No, I have personally found self-critical thoughts will still arise but now the difference is that I don’t believe or identify with them. When I have self-critical thoughts, I have learned to watch and observe them and not take them as truth. Mindfulness has really helped me with this! Is there a feeling underneath the mean things that I’m saying to myself that needs to be felt?   Usually yes. And seeing, feeling and validating that feeling usually works better than ignoring it or pushing it away. I have found that the uncomfortability of feeling a feeling never lasts forever.  What does that feeling need?  For me, the answer is usually care and kindness. Kristin Neff suggests that a simple gesture like putting your hand on your heart can make a big difference. I agree! What if I talked to myself the way I would to talk to a friend? I would be 1000% nicer. We are often so much meaner to ourselves than we would talk to a friend or even someone we don’t really know. Kristin Neff suggests talking to ourselves like we would to a friend. Will I do this whole self compassion/being nice to myself thing perfectly?   Nope, and that’s 100% okay. With consistency (not perfection), things usually get better in time. Progress, not perfection. Try out these questions and see how they land!  Lastly, I’m going to leave you with some inspiration! These cards have messages of self-compassion and normalizing mistakes. They were created by girls and their wisdom shines through the art and the writing. They are part of a for-girls by-girls card deck that I created with a group of girls in the Bay Area. You can look at the art and read these by yourself and/or read them with your child and see what they think! It’s okay to make mistakes. Perfect is for robots, not people. Mistakes are normal. Don’t be afraid of failure, experiencing failure is part of life. Even just trying is much better than not trying at all. It might feel tough when you make a mistake but the feeling won’t last forever. Imperfection is okay and totally normal, remember that it’s impossible to be absolutely perfect. Perfect is for robots, not people. Be kind to yourself  This card is a reminder to give yourself permission to be kind to yourself. Give yourself credit for how far you have come and always treat yourself with compassion. You are the person you talk to the most in your mind, so make sure they are nice words. Be kind to yourself, then go and fill the world with your kindness! I hope that this article has given you some new ideas to support your child! Please feel free to reach out to me at Nicole@nicoleconnell.com  if you have any questions. Nicole Connell is an educational therapist, mentor and  personal learning fairy godmother for kids and teens who learn best outside the box. She works 1:1 and also leads empowering girls groups. Learn more: www.nicoleconnell.com ..

Dear REEL community, This fall has been an especially busy season for REEL. We have presented at numerous conferences, including Stanford’s Neurodiversity Summit, Santa Clara County’s Inclusion Collaborative Conference, and the Twice-Exceptional Teacher Education Conference at Cleveland State University. We also helped many local public and private schools kick off the school year with educator workshops focused on increased awareness and robust support for neurodivergent learners. We’ve hosted notable experts in our Expert Speaker Series and have many more exciting events planned! To learn more about the impact we’ve had in the past year, please check out our 2023-2024 Impact Report . Our REEL board meetings always start off with sharing meaningful mission moments. I’ve had several of those over these past few months, a few of which I’d like to share with you. The first came at a recent professional development workshop where a parent asked me, “How do you convince a family member or friend that our children’s differences are real, and that they should be taken seriously? How do you respond when they say, ‘In my day, we just had to follow rules. All these options are just excuses. Teachers aren’t strict enough anymore, that’s the problem’?” As the holidays and increased time with family approach, I imagine this question is on many people’s minds, and so I’d like to share my answer with all of you: I will address this question in two parts. First, let’s talk about the necessity of options and flexibility for all learners. If I could highlight one key point, it’s that accommodations are not cheating. Accommodations are merely options for all that enable us to be most successful at any given moment. Everyone can benefit from choices and options, and flexibility does not lower standards. Instead, by being mindful of our goals and providing options which enable students to be most successful in pursuit of those goals, we create pathways for students to achieve their best. When we only offer accommodations to some students, we are implicitly inviting a culture of inequality. However, if we acknowledge that all of us need different things at different times, and we offer those options to everyone, we are acknowledging that our differences are all valid and valued. Take these two examples: Offer fidgets to everyone in the class. Explain why some people find them useful for concentration. Explain how they can sometimes be misused. Discuss the boundaries for productive and unproductive fidget use, and then make them available to everyone. Should a student become unproductive with a fidget, they can no longer use it at that time. But any student that would benefit and should be able to have access to that benefit. Offer audiobook options to all students in the class. Unless the goal of the lesson is to teach the skill of reading words on a page, listening to a book to receive its information is no better or worse than reading a book; it is simply a different input modality. Some students may prefer - as adults often do - to occasionally listen to books while completing chores at home, or while commuting. They may prefer to listen at an accelerated or or decelerated speed. Other times they may choose to read the words on paper while snuggled in bed or at their desk with a highlighter. Providing these options to all gives students agency to pick what works best for them at different times and in different situations, without stigma. The second part of my response is much broader. ‘Back in the day,’ some students succeeded in class. Others ‘got by’ and did okay. And quite a few were left behind. We can do better. The world has hard problems and we need everyone’s help to make progress. A diversity of perspectives and approaches is invaluable. The job of educators - and the responsibility of all of humanity - is to help everyone achieve their potential. We can achieve this by acknowledging and honoring the value each individual brings to the community. The DEAR REEL model that we released earlier this year provides practical strategies for working with neurodivergent and 2e kids at school. If you missed our October 28th presentation that walked through the model, I encourage you to watch and share it with educators in your community. Often the primary pushback we get when working with educators is the struggle they have with finding the time to make changes to their curricula. While they acknowledge that they want to help all learners, they feel constrained by multiple competing demands on their time. It is true that making modifications and adding flexible options to an existing curriculum takes time. Connecting with students takes time. Looking for the underlying, unseen causes behind behaviors is more challenging than simply addressing what’s in front of you. However, all of this extra time spent will pay dividends. At the Twice-Exceptional Teacher Education Conference, Dr. Claire Hughes recounted a story which serves as a powerful example of how spending some time up front can save time and headaches later. One year as she began to teach a class of middle school students, she sat down and called the parents of every one, and simply told them each something positive about their child. She called one particular mom and told her, “I just want to let you know, I really enjoy having Jake in my class! He is so funny - his sense of humor adds a lot to our class discussions!” The mom waited a moment, and said, “But…?” Dr. Hughes replied, “There’s no ‘but,’ that’s it - I just wanted to let you know I’m enjoying having him in my class.” The mom was stunned. She had never had a phone call from a teacher which was anything but negative, and she had gotten those calls a lot. From that point forward, that mom knew this teacher was on her team. Teacher, parent, and student now had a productive relationship. Time spent calling each parent was reaped through smoother, more positive interactions throughout the school year. Educators - know that you don’t have to do it all at once. Start small. Add a flexible option to an assignment. Present and offer a single new accommodation to the class. Experiment with one new way of connecting with your students or their parents. Iterate. Next semester, try adding one more new thing. One of my favorite examples of doing this comes from Dr. Carol Tomlinson, in a lesson she teaches on differentiation . In the example poetry lesson (starting at minute 10:40), she walks through 3 revisions to this unit which a teacher made over 3 years. It’s an incredible evolution of a unit which improves incrementally - and in a manageable way for the teacher - to provide more differentiation, preference, and choice. Parents - acknowledge the wins. Thank your teachers. Celebrate your student’s progress, their effort, their success. And know that you are making a difference through your involvement, your passion, and your commitment for both your own children and for those who follow on the path you’ve blazed.   Your child sees you. Your student sees you. Together, we enable everyone to achieve their potential. Abby Kirigin, Ed.D. Executive Director, REEL PS - It’s donation campaign season! Please consider a donation to REEL and help our community achieve potential together.

Hi! My name is Pravin; I am 16 years old and am incredibly passionate about neurodiversity advocacy. Over the last four years, I have had the opportunity to collaborate on my advocacy work with people around the world and hear so many new perspectives as I continue to pursue my work. During the summer of 2023, I participated in Stanford’s esteemed SNP-REACH program, an international program dedicated to teaching neurodiversity advocacy to youth leaders. In SNP-REACH, I had the incredible opportunity to foster my passion for neurodiversity advocacy by publishing a photojournal with a team of neurodiversity advocates. Our photo journal, Through the Neurodiverse Lens , educates others about neurodiversity through an interactive and informative lens of interviews, misconceptions, creative spotlights, and more. Contrary to the traditional approach of lengthy articles, our photojournal is designed with everyone in mind by focusing on telling stories through a combination of words, photos, and artwork. In our interview section, we strived to get a diverse variety of input from fellow neurodiverse peers along with a professional insight from Dr. Fung, director of the Stanford Neurodiversity Project. We also tackled common misconceptions about different neurodiverse conditions and highlighted the overlooked talents of neurodiverse individuals in our creative spotlight! The unique lens of developing a photojournal capturing the neurodiverse perspective allowed us to present at Stanford’s International Neurodiversity Summit, where we spread awareness of our advocacy initiative to an international audience. I am so incredibly happy with the work we have done with the photojournal and will continue to do by using the photojournal as an educational platform to raise awareness on the neurodiverse experience. We really hope to publish more editions and continue working on this initiative to spread awareness into the neurodiverse perspective. Please feel free to take a look at the attached link of our first edition and reach out if you have any questions, comments, or feedback. First Edition: https://online.fliphtml5.com/dxqaf/luge/#p=1 Website: https://sites.google.com/view/through-the-lens-photojournal/home

There are so many benefits to reading with our young children. Of course, we have heard that reading stories makes them more likely to develop advanced vocabularies, show higher reading comprehension, and become avid readers as they grow. Who wouldn’t want that?  Lin Lim and I recently wrote a book titled Using Picture Books to Help Little Ones Learn About Themselves . While we acknowledge the proven academic benefits of reading, we focus most of our attention on the social and emotional benefits of connecting with young children through shared reading time. Lin and I both have several 2e teenagers at home, and we acknowledge that it has been and continues to be a challenging parenting journey. But our deep connection with our teens gives us strength when challenging times come. In Using Picture Books , we examine how parents and teachers of young children can address “tricky topics” such as perfectionism, worry, and accepting differences in themselves and others by reading wonderful picture books with engaging characters who struggle a bit too. Even young children can often see themselves in these engaging characters as they cuddle up in a safe space with their parents. This is true for young children in a classroom as well. When students feel safe and seen within their classroom community, these books can be used to address challenges that arise. It is less threatening or scary for children to talk about the challenges of a character in a story than to discuss these feelings in themselves.  As a veteran teacher, I can assure you that it is much easier to work with a worried five-year-old than a school-avoidant, anxiety-filled fifteen-year-old. “Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” Swedish Proverb “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wilde “One of the greatest gifts adults can give - to their offspring and to their society - is to read to children.” Carl Sagan Our intention in writing this book for parents was to provide a curated list of over forty picture books to read that will promote a strong connection with their children. Additionally, the strategies in our book have been chosen based on the most recent research in the field, and we make this information easy and quick to read since we know parents of young children are extremely busy. Here are a few of our recommendations: The Big Umbrella by Amy June Bates - This lovely story is told by a warm-hearted red umbrella who expands to shelter others no matter what. Parents will love this story of inclusion, while children will enjoy the kind message. Red by Michael Hall - A blue crayon wearing a red label grows up believing he is red, but he struggles to draw like a red crayon. He feels like a failure until a new friend asks him to draw blue things, and he can’t believe how easy and fun it is to create blueberries and oceans! When he focuses on his strengths, he feels happy and successful. Children will love the absurdity of the story. There’s No Such Thing as a Dragon by Jack Kent - This is a timeless classic about a boy who sees a small dragon in his house, but the adults assure him it is not there. As the boy continues to ignore the dragon, he grows bigger, and the dragon picks up the house and carries it down the street. When the little boy acknowledges the dragon, it shrinks back to its small size, and they live happily ever after. Adults and children will enjoy the metaphor for anxiety in the form of a dragon. These are just a few examples of charming picture books that we recommend that address those “tricky topics.”  Our book will help you feel less alone in your parenting journey as Lin and I also include some of the antics of our own neurodivergent children along the way! Lin and I recently attended a webinar to discuss our new book. I invited my father from Virginia since the event was virtual, and I knew he was interested in our discussion. Near the end of our talk, I asked him how he felt about our thoughts on connection through reading. He paused a moment and then sadly admitted that, as a single father, he wished he had read with my sister and me more often when we were younger. I quickly pointed out that my sister and I were both avid readers and that our close connection with him came from the love of music that we shared. Every night for many years, my father and I played trombone-clarinet duets together, and we performed professionally in my teen years. I assured him that reading is merely one way to promote a deep connection with our children - music and other activities are another.  Speaking now as a parent whose 19-year-old son is moving away tomorrow to start his first job as a software engineer, I can promise that the days may go by slowly, but the years fly by. Spend quality time building those close connections through reading or another activity, and together, you and your children will reap the benefits in spades when times are smooth and when challenges arise.  ------------- The Bentley Center was founded by Gayle Bentley to provide support and education for gifted and twice-exceptional children and their families. She has taught in the public school system since 1999 and holds a doctoral degree in cognitive diversity in education. Gayle serves on the boards of the California Association of the Gifted (CAG) and Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted (SENG) and regularly presents clinics at state and national conferences about gifted education and twice-exceptionality. She recently published her first book with Dr. Lin Lim, Using Picture Books to Help Little Ones Learn About Themselves. As the mother of three amazing neurodivergent sons, Gayle understands this journey. Her empathy for parents, as they seek an individualized “best fit” for their children’s educational needs and behavioral challenges, led to the development of The Bentley Center.