Building Collaborative Communication with Teachers

In our Sept 2025 support group for parenting 2e kids, Heather, a parent and professional advocate, explores practical ways to foster warm, collaborative communication with teachers while also navigating the more challenging moments when accommodations aren’t fully understood or supported. Parents will leave with concrete strategies for framing conversations, reducing conflict, and keeping the focus on their child’s strengths and growth.

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Read the transcript here

all of your sympathies with me. Um, real quickly, just some housekeeping stuff. There's a tiny URL at the bottom of this slide. Um, and that has got a folder that just kind of filled with resources. It's got the link to the slides. It has a Substack article I wrote about this with a bunch of just great embedded stuff in it. And there's also an outline for your teens for helping them write emails to their teachers. So, it's just sort of like my version of an online goodie bag. Um, so that little URL could be really helpful if you want to just pop that in your browser and you can just kind of move along with us on that browser.

Um, hi, I'm Heather Johansson. Um, I am a local advocate. I'm actually the founder of Mosaic Minds Consulting. We do some educational consulting and we also do advocacy. I've kind of had an interesting journey to get here. I was actually a regular education teacher early in my career, third and fourth grade. And then from there, I taught abroad for a couple of years. And it came into my love of special education, really focused that work on dyslexia. And then I was like, "Okay, I'm ready for those teenagers." And then fell hopelessly in love with teenagers and worked with them for like 15 years. Did a lot of program development for a local district, a lot around like social cognition, all of those pieces. and then kind of 20 plus years in public schools. I'm like, I'm ready for something a little different. So, I went kind of the way of executive functioning coaching and kind of worked with a local advocate and then eventually sort of founding my own firm. Um, it's me and I also have two other advocates that kind of work with me and take some cases. That's kind of the journey. And I think most importantly, I am a mom. I have three. Um, we are a house of ADHD. my lone husband is sort of this like lone island in a sea of of chaos sometimes. Um, and then the my oldest and my youngest also had some real mental health journeys. So, I definitely can come at this from a lot of different angles.

All right, so with all of that done, we'll kind of jump. It always never wants to go when I want it to go to move my slide, which is always interesting. Let me see. I'm going to figure this out. Oh, just click it. There we go. Okay. So, kind of tonight's conversation, what we're going to talk about is sort of some of the realities um that kind of first reach out to teachers, how to involve your child and teen in that process, kind of that self-advocacy piece. How do we kind of start requesting accommodations and what do we do when collaboration breaks down?

Okay. Um this is my favorite Hello Helen Keller quote. Like, alone we can do so little, but together we can do so much. Um, it's kind of a good one to hold as we're kind of working with teachers and just knowing that like when we get that nice relationship going, we can get a whole lot more done. Um, so that collaborative spirit kind of working together, it's just going to be so darn helpful. I'm going to absolutely hold the reality for us parents. We are tired. Parenting is a is a tiring thing. We add a little neurode divergence into the mix. It takes us for that next level. So sometimes it's hard to stay in that collaborative spirit, but just kind of knowing like, okay, that that there's that adage I still don't understand to this day, but the sentiment of like you kind of get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. Not that you really want more flies, I don't understand that one, but it's kind of the idea of like it can go a long way.

Um cuz the real educator realities having worked in public schools for 20 years like our middle and high school teachers can come come in around 200 kids like right. So that's just a lot of a lot of teen bodies. They're seeing those elementary teachers kind of 25 to 42 depending. There's lots of usual there's lots of needs in that classroom and then the reality is they're they're teaching for about seven hours of any day, right? So they're in front of kids, they're running their classroom, and then there's like all the outside stuff that they're doing, which is the planning and the grading and the emailing and all of those pieces.

So they also are kind of coming from a place of just like they they're kind of they don't have a lot of extra either. So when we kind of come with more of that collaborative communication, it can make a huge difference. um just kind of like that that tone if we're kind of thinking of that like poly vagal nervous system side right like what are you gonna respond to like that when you have that more cal kind of that collaborative calmer tone is going to help make a calmer and more supportive teacher in classroom so just like kind of thinking of that kiddo in the middle and we're just trying to work together

all right so that first contact I know we're already like it we're fully into a school year. So, this is kind of behind, but just in case you haven't got there, this the idea of just kind of keeping it kind, brief, and just the essentials. I get like you want that teacher to know everything about your kiddo, right? Of course you do. You want to tell them about every little piece, but we really kind of want to keep it just short. Like we don't need that long backstory, what they need to know to kind of keep your kid safe, regulated, and learning. And there here's like a little quick example like you know, hi, I'm Heather. I'm Sam's mom. He's excited. Writing's tricky. Here's some stuff you can use kind of first day. Here are two of his peers that like do really well with him. And then give him like a thing like he's a movie buff. Ask him about the Avengers and you'll connect right away. Just little quick, right? And I didn't go into like here's his 50page. Please read this neurosych assessment. That can come later, right? But like for that first initial contact kind of kind, brief, essential is a good way to kind of go about it.

Um, so I per like having having worked in public schools for as long as I did, teachers love hearing from the kids. They just love it. So just anytime I always tell my teens, I'm like, teachers are suckers. We can't help it. If you if you go to a to a teacher and kind of tell them what you need, they're nine out of 10en times going to be more likely to respond just because they just that's why they're there, right? They like they like the kids. For our littleer guys, obviously your little guy is not going to write an email to the teacher, right? So maybe adding a quote from something they're they've said or like a 30-secondond video into something just for them to watch might be a good way to kind of help get that child into the idea of like sharing with their teacher, right? And then in that folder, there's a whole bunch of sentence starters and frames that can kind of help you with this piece with your younger kids, but like something that helps me when I'm overwhelmed. It looks like you can help me buy. And it's always nice to kind of hear. we think we know and it's I always think I know and then I talk to my kids I'm like oh actually you know like they always kind of know what's what's best for them and they're so good at expressing it for older students kind of like sixth grade and up

um helping them to kind of start writing those emails right and like I said there's a outline in that folder you know showing them where to find emails showing them how to format an email like it is hilarious the emails you get from students are like, "What up, girl? I need you to grade." It's ju it's really funny. So, just helping them kind of structure an email. And here's the thing, like I know sometimes like we really hit self-advocacy hard, right? We're like they got to learn, they got to learn. I am a big fan of meet them wherever they are. My youngest is a senior this year and I still sometimes for those harder emails, I sit down next to her and we write them together, right? I just and there's days where I could tell she is so fried out if I try and push her to write that email to a teacher that's going to to make her way more toast, right? So, what I want to do is meet her where she is and sort of what she needs. So, if she doesn't write every single one, it's okay, right? Like I don't want to push past that point into getting her super disregulated, right? We kind of want to we want to do the growth but not the fry, right? So this kind of and that you as parents know kind we kind of know where that line is, right? So that's something I know there's a lot of pressure to have kids write them, but if your kids's not in that place, it's okay. They don't have to.

Okay, I keep hitting the wrong button. So kind of now we're in it, right? Like deadlines might be being missed, things are flying, there might be some dysregulation having. So like, okay, we might have to kind of start communicating more with these teachers. So kind of like this is sort of an outline for it, right? Like first just like name that situation, right? Don't feel like you have to talk around it. Just name it like missed a desk deadline, a dis whatever is kind of going on. Naming that specific challenge like that is kind of causing the situation for the teacher. Like and we're going to get into this. I'm going to give you some examples. Outline a plan like kind of solve the problem. I know that sounds weird, but just if you kind of say, "Hey," and I'll show you an example of what this looks like, inviting that collaboration, expressing gratitude at the end of it, that word flexibility. Thank you for your flexibility. It goes really far. And then kind of CCing key people in. So, if you have an ID, CCing that case manager, the counselor, any other key staff of your kids, working with the therapist really closely, CC, it's like keeping everyone in the loop is a really good way to do it. So, I'm a bigam big fan of examples.

So, like let's just say you need to write one for your kiddo, right? You have a freshman, they're freshman or sophomore. They're taking, you know, English, you know? So, starting with like, hope you're doing well. He's working and kind of naming it. He's working hard on cracking those due dates. That Lord of the Flies essay went flying right by. who really focus on a world history project because as we know sometimes our kids can't like break away from one thing to do another you know he's strong with factual writing but inference is more difficult once again really kind of getting into what's going on this is an IEP goal area along with executive functioning and then you're going to solve right he's coming to you on tutorial on Monday to get specific support on the that quote analysis we appreciate your flexibility

thank you so much right we're going to continue to work on this like this, right? Once again, it kind of you're you're you're cuz we want that extension, right? And there's a couple of ways we could write it, but this is going to most likely get you what we're hoping for.

Um, now if like your kid were to write it, and once again there is an outline in that folder for you, you know, just like, and this is going to be the hardest part is like for kiddos, they don't like to say they goofed, right? But just kind of helping them like yeah we all make ups says it's okay like and helping them once again format like I knew and just owning it. I knew it was due. I haven't turned it in yet in the future. I wrote and I think it's really important. I'll do my best because we don't want them to make promises. They probably are going to miss this again and that's okay. Like I'm going to do my best to email you before to ask for my accommodation. I'm working on planning, but sometimes my executive functioning challenges make it hard for me. Writing essays is also tough. And like getting really like into it, like including quotes is tough. I'm working. And then once again, he's going to give the plan. Like I'm I'm working with a writing tutor this weekend. I plan to turn it into money. Thank you for your support and flexibility. Right? Just kind of using those like those pieces.

So if you have a little person like more of the elementary age, right? you're probably not going to they're not they're not going to be writing to their teacher. But like I know this is one that comes up for a lot of my clients is just kind of giving those sensory breaks throughout the day because teachers kind of forget a lot like you know hope your week's going well. Want to follow up about that accommodation for sensory breaks. He's coming home quite disregulated. I suspect he might be pushing through without taking breaks. Like these breaks really help every for giving some ideas like quick walk to the drinking fountain, a chance to stretch, you know, helps them stay engaged. Would you be open? That's my favorite. Would you be open? It's an invitation, right? Would you be open to brainstorming together? Let's bring in the case manager. We can problem solve this as a team. Thanks for your support. Right? Just kind of real simple.

Um and then finally, like, okay, we need something new, right? like how do I ask for a new accommodation or something that's not already in an IEP or a 504? Um, you know, this is one I've seen a lot like, you know, Jim's doing great in math but struggling with those tests, right? He's working with a tutor, he's doing his like he's turning in his homework, but those working memory challenges combined with anxiety seem to trip him up, right? Naming it. And this is once again like we're g I'm writing for my teen, but I want to include his voice. Like he's expressed that having a formula card might help him. Like just this support could help root bring down his anxiety to show what he truly knows. And then a lot of times teachers are like, well, let's just have him take it outside of the classroom. And for some kids that's not a thing, right? It almost makes it worse. So just kind of problem solving that. Love to collaborate on what this might look like. I see CD's case manager, right? So just kind of warm solving tone.

Okay. So you may do all of this and you may not hear back from a teacher or you just might get a no, right? Like this. You may and honestly what I have found like 95% of teachers are going to fully honor that email that you sent. And then there's going to be the 5% that don't. For whatever reason they don't. So kind of what do you do when that happens, right?

So, if you have a case manager or like a counselor that holds your 504, you're going to share that communication because you're going to this is schools love it. This is sort of secret sauce. They love it when you kind of follow their chain of command, right? So, you're going to say, "Look," you're going to send that to the case manager, the counselor, say, "Hey, I sent this to Mr. Smith. I got this response. Can I get some help?" Right? Because you've already shown you've tried to problem solve it. you did in a really collaborative way so that instantly kind of kit will help get things moving. Let's say it's not happening with your case manager counselor, then you're going to go to that admin next, right? For elementary school, that's going to be your principal. And for your middle and high school, that's probably going to be an assistant principal. And the school website should have kind of which AP works with your kid, right? So that should be on the school website. The reason I point this out is sometimes we escalate right to the principal at that high school level and it's going to actually take longer to get the problem solved because they're they're rarely in charge of like kind of these types of pieces. So, it's going to need to get filtered to the right person. So, as we go straight to the right person, it kind of can help move things along a little quicker. If you have an IEP or 504, you can always request a meeting and kind of go go at it that direction. keeping this like by kind of sending these emails, you're keeping that paper trail which shows like all of your efforts which documentation which will actually help things kind of move along more. And I already see like a hand which goes to this. I'm sure people have questions so I'm happy to answer questions.