By Jenna Segall, 5th Grade Teacher, Palo Verde Elementary School, Palo Alto (Check out REEL's list of suggested books for all grades featuring neurodiverse characters or themes.) I remember reading this poem a few years back, written by autistic, then 5th grader, Ben Giroux. I was so moved by his incredible self-awareness and the raw vulnerability that he shared so beautifully on the page. Immediately, I thought of my own 5th grade students and was eager to share Ben’s work as a mentor text, to motivate and inspire my students’ own Memoir writing. “When children cannot find themselves reflected in the books they read or when the images they see are distorted, negative, or laughable, they learn a powerful lesson about how they are devalued in the society of which they are a part." - Rudine Sims Bishop For years, educators have been inspired by the work of Dr. Rudine Sims Bishop (and many others!), working to build classroom libraries that include characters that are as diverse as the students within. Research supports that reading literature helps students to think critically, develop empathy and compassion, and form relationships and connections with others. Books help us to better understand ourselves and each other because it affords us the opportunity to explore and celebrate not only our commonalities, but also our differences. “Different, not less.”- Dr. Temple Grandin Recently, my 5th graders and I were incredibly lucky to have been invited to an author visit with the amazing Dr. Temple Grandin. I decided to make this an opportunity to “Explore Neurodiversity” with my class, reading aloud a few of my favorite picture books spotlighting neurodiverse characters and introducing my students to Dr. Grandin before her presentation. I am always so impressed with the candor and curiosity of this age group, eager to engage in sometimes difficult conversations and challenging our misconceptions to better understand. The work is messy but with such amazing reward. Picture books give us the common experience and language in order to launch into deeper, more meaningful discourse. Because my class and I had built a foundation of exploring neurovariance together, they appreciated Dr. Grandin for being authentically Dr. Grandin. They were able to connect with her and be inspired by her message in ways that I honestly don’t know that they were ready for before our conversations leading to her visit. Finding books that include neurodivergent characters can prove challenging. Neurodiversity is underrepresented in children’s literature but, thankfully, the number of books published with neurodivergent characters is increasing. Through intentional selection of high- quality literature, kids like Ben Giroux can start to feel more visible and thus, better connected to their peer community. There are several fantastic picture books that can be used across grade levels to spark conversation. Here are a few “tried and true” resources for sourcing great books: http://ourstory.diversebooks.org https://bookshop.org/shop/raisingluminaries https://bookshop.org/lists/kids-books-celebrating-neurodiversity https://www.anovelmind.com/database Looking for picture books to spark conversation in your classroom? Here are some of my personal favorite picture books featuring neurodivergent characters: Just Ask: Be Different. Be Brave. Be You. by Sonia Sotomayor and Rafael Lopez The World Needs Who You Were Made to Be by Joanna Gaines The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig Why Johnny Doesn’t Flap: NY is OK! by Clay Morton and Gail Morton The Girl Who Thought In Pictures: The Story of Temple Grandin by Julia Finley Mosca How to Build a Hug:Temple Grandin and Her Amazing Squeeze Machine by Amy Guglielmo and Jacqueline Tourville Uniquely Wired by Julia Cook You’re So Clumsy Charley by Jane Binnion Noah Chases the Wind by Michelle Worthington My Brother Charlie by Holly Robinson Peete A Friend Like Simon by Kate Gaynor The Girl Who Heard Colors by Marie Harris Thank you, Mr. Falker by Patricia Palacco Empathy isn’t an innate skill. It must be nurtured with the same intentionality and care as all learned abilities. When we thoughtfully create opportunities for students to expand their experience and gain new perspectives, we help them get along and work together more effectively, both in the classroom and in life. We connect to one another through our stories. Shared stories that feature neurodiverse characters help more students feel valued as we recognize beauty in the uniqueness of one other. As educators, it is our goal and responsibility to help students better understand themselves and the world around them. We must, therefore, also seek out opportunities to explore the wonders of neurovarient thinking with our students. About Jenna Jenna Segall is a 5th grade teacher at Palo Verde Elementary School in Palo Alto, where she has taught for the last 6 years. Prior to that, Mrs. Segall taught 1st grade for 11 years. She has also served for many years as Principal for Palo Alto Unified School District's Elementary Summer School programs. Herself a lifelong learner, Mrs. Segall holds a BS in Human Development in Family Studies from the University of Rhode Island, Masters of Arts in Teaching from Pacific University, and a Masters of Arts in Education Administration from Santa Clara University. In addition, Jenna spends a week each summer, attending Reading and Writing Institutes at Teachers College at Columbia University. Mrs. Segall brings many innovative programs to Palo Verde to help showcase the strengths and talents of all her students, including Genius Hour, the first classroom Maker Space and a school-wide favorite “March Madness Tournament of Books”. When she's not busy coming up with fun new ways to engage her 5th grade students, you'll find her reading, exploring destinations near and far with husband Dan and their beloved dog, Simon, and daydreaming of Paris!

Many schools create wonderful field trips, camping excursions, and out-of-town expeditions to facilitate group bonding, enhance the curriculum, and provide hands-on experiences. While these trips are exciting for many students, some neurodivergent students don’t relish them. The challenges for these students range from loud and overwhelming locations and transportation to large group activities, long periods of sustained attention to unfamiliar experiences, and meeting a lot of new people in a short period of time. How can schools help neurodivergent students thrive on school outings? We asked our community about   what has helped their students succeed. Here are their top suggestions. Don’t overload the day  - Many schools take kids to distant locations involving flights and hotels. Often, the itinerary will be jam-packed to take advantage of limited time in the destination and involve visiting every key site, having kids do 12 hours of touring or more (sometimes even late into the evening, with extra activities - even dance parties! - at night). However, many neurodivergent kids require downtime built into the schedule to decompress. Add dedicated rest times and reduce the number of activities, or give kids the ability to opt out of parts of the day in order to rest or return to the hotel early, allowing the more energetic group to continue with activities. Give choices when possible  - One way to address the overload is to provide multiple choices for kids when possible. For example, one group goes on a long hike but for those who don’t wish to do it, there is a quiet activity they can choose instead. One group visits the Air & Space Museum, while another visits the National Art Gallery. This also allows all kids to choose options that suit their interests and energy regulation needs. Build up over time  - Think about scaffolding students’ comfort with trips over time, both within a school year and as each grade progresses. For instance, start with a nearby day trip, then build to a day trip at a greater distance, slowly working up to one night away, and then multiple nights away as the students get older and can build on past successes.  Preview the Trip  - Many kids will benefit from having a visual overview of an upcoming excursion. At one family’s school, the teachers create a slideshow with many details about upcoming trips that the entire class walks through together. This is shared well in advance and multiple times. The teachers show photos or videos of what the destination will look like (i.e., lodging, key sites) the schedule of the day(s), the sleeping arrangements, plan for food, what to bring, etc. Every detail is discussed and questions are answered. Sometimes, when possible for more local outings, parents may take the child to the location in advance of the trip for a preview. Ask the student what concerns they have  - For students who seem concerned about an upcoming trip, meet with them (and potentially their parents) to find out what is causing the anxiety. Sometimes there is one activity the student is concerned about. Think flexibly. Can an adult sit with them outside of this activity? Is there another option? How can the trip be modified to make the student more comfortable? If food is the concern, can they bring their own? If traveling on a van or bus is overwhelming, can the school offer smaller/quieter transportation (e.g. a parent volunteer’s car) to reduce the sensory load? Normalize anxiety  - One parent shared, “ The teachers and staff make clear that many of the kids will feel anxiety, and that there are always kids who have their first night away during one of the experientials, so they normalize that for parents.” One of our members shared that on her son’s first night camping, his gameplan was to sleep with mom at a local hotel. However, when he heard in circle time that other kids were even more anxious than he was, but they were still camping, he agreed to give it a try to great success. Give them a go-to adult - Any anxious child should know who they can go to in the event they feel overwhelmed or anxious and need support or a break. Linking them with a trusted adult is critical. As one parent shared, “We went to a parent participation school and would ask a parent who was going to be a buddy. Just keep an eye out for the kid and help arrange anything that was needed. An extra shower, a walk back to the bathroom at an inconvenient moment, a snack at a crucial moment.” Keep in mind that sometimes it may be appropriate for the go-to adult to be the child’s parent. For some children, having their parent attend as a chaperone reduces their anxiety and allows them to participate. For some children, having a parent present creates more challenges. Each case is different but this is worth considering when possible.  Be flexible with student needs - Most field trips don’t allow students to use their phone or to bring a toy. However, if a student needs to call home once a day, hug a stuffie, wear headphones, or listen to music in order to be successful, these should be allowed. This is a great way for students to learn to “cope ahead” - to understand what they need to be successful and to self-advocate. Consider flexibility in the rules in order to help the child participate. Plan for growth over time  - Sometimes a child is not yet ready to attend a multi-night trip without their parents. Can their first trip be for just one night or with their parent attending? Can you make a plan over time as the student becomes more comfortable with school trips so that they can be more independent? With each subsequent trip, you may be able to slowly fade parent support and increase participation. As one parent noted, “My own child progressed from sleeping in a tent with me on one camping trip, to sleeping in a tent with friends with me nearby the next, and finally he attended the last camping trip without me there at all!” With advance planning and flexibility, you can help make neurodivergent students feel comfortable and enjoy school trips. Tips from a local school trip leader In addition to hearing from parents, we reached out to a leader from a local school with a deep foundation in experiential learning who brings years of experience supporting neurodivergent students on a variety of excursions. Her advice mirrors a lot of what our families note as most useful - and then some.  Leaving open time is the most important element in trip planning  - If a student is flooded or has an issue during one component of a trip, make sure you have the staffing and time to work with that kid. Be mindful of what you’re trying to accomplish - make sure you leave a lot of buffer time to follow the energy of the group and the needs of each child. Do less and do it extremely well  - For example, the school used to do a field trip on the way to their camp site. The kids would arrive at the campsite exhausted. So, the school leaders took a step back to think about what they wanted to accomplish, and realized their main goal is community building and participation. Given this, they removed the field trip and allowed tent building to be the community building activity. This gave the group time and energy to focus on teamwork. When given the time and space, kids are able to access a program and have the calm to be able to do it. Consider your goal  - Is your goal to hit every museum in town? Some kids can’t access that. If the goal is engagement and participation instead of exposure, slow it down. Give kids the opportunity to go deep. For example, on a class trip to Washington, DC, the leaders planned to visit the larger, more taxing activity in the morning and then planned for less structure and more choices in the afternoon. Have a secret option  - On a recent trip to Boston, trip leaders gave students three options for different places to visit - a ship museum, a tea party museum, or an MIT lab. There was enough staff available for a secret option - stay back at the hotel. It was the last afternoon of the trip so if a child was at a breaking point, they could be pulled aside and offered the secret option. As another example, on a camping trip when one child was too homesick to tackle a hike, the leaders arranged for her to stay back at the campsite to rest and regroup. Design the program with escape hatches  - Make sure there is enough staffing so you don’t stretch the group too far - plan “escape hatches” for situations where an anticipated problem may arise and be ready for unexpected difficulties. While you can anticipate some experiences that may overwhelm students, sometimes unexpected triggers emerge. For instance, on a recent trip to Angel Island, some children had a deep emotional response to the suffering of the immigrants who had been forced to stay in jail-like conditions. A staff member sat outside to provide a safe space for those students while the rest of the group completed the tour. Offer choices  - To plan for the many types of neurodivergent kids, offer choices. Some kids need lots of physical activity and some are overwhelmed by it - and don't forget the “secret choice.” When traveling, offer a few destination options. When hiking, you can offer a mild (short/easy) or spicy (long/hard) option. Involve students in planning  - In addition to previewing activities, get students involved in planning trips. They can help select activities, research them, preview them, and understand the expectations of participating in each.  Plan for anxiety. While previewing is a great time to normalize travel anxiety upfront, the educator suggests talking about parts of the trip that might be more difficult, in an age-appropriate way. For instance, “camping is in tents” (is intense) with younger students (even kindergarteners!). She tells them, “If you’re cold at night, your friends will help you.” This teaches kids it’s okay to ask for help if they need it—and to be a helper to others. Offering choices enables you to ask for participation at group activities  - It may not be realistic to ask neurodivergent kids to be present for ALL group activities ALL day, so prioritize the most important activities within a trip. For example, in Washington, DC, the leaders’ priority was for all students to visit the Holocaust Museum. This meant they didn’t plan another activity before it. And, a staff member sat in the lobby to scaffold kids who were overwhelmed, recognizing that sitting in the lobby with their feelings could be a student’s authentic way of participating. Then, in the afternoon, students were offered fun choices such as the Air and Space Museum or an Art Museum and some elected to return to the hotel to rest. Neurodivergent kids experience activities differently - They may shut down or run away if they feel overwhelmed. If they need something, it’s important that they know they can ask for it and be heard. For instance, if they are overwhelmed or anxious and can’t sit in a circle with others, it should be ok both for them and for the group for them to ask to sit or stand away from others. If they can’t make eye contact while a leader is giving instructions, find another way for them to signal they’ve heard the information, such as a thumbs up, fist bump, or nod. Grow personal responsibility over time - For example, food and eating preferences can be a challenge for some neurodivergent children when traveling. For this school, one child only wanted to eat ground beef on camping trips. The first trip, the leaders brought ground beef and offered it at every meal. The second trip, he helped cook it. The following trip he bought the beef and made sure it was in the cooler and cooked it for himself and others. Each child will have a different path, but giving them control creates a sense of calm and trust. With a bit of flexibility, anticipating challenges, and involving students in planning trips, neurodivergent students can  successfully engage in school outings. You will likely find that ALL students benefit from having more choices, slowing down, and exploring more deeply.

During our July 2022 parent support group with PHP, we were very lucky to feature long-time REEL parent Emon Reynolds, who spoke about her strategies for ensuring a strong start to the school year for her twice-exceptional children. As a parent of four kids from ages 10 to 17, she shared helpful advice, tips and wisdom for parents of 2e learners of all ages. We’ve captured some of the highlights below. Before jumping into the school year, review these powerful mantras; revisit them whenever you need a boost throughout the year Take a deep breath. I am not alone. My child is not broken. This year can be better. Grace and mercy everyday. Always ask! The worst they can do is say “No.” What I learn will help my child. I am enough! Create a one-pager about your child for their new teachers. Keep the document brief—remember, this is not your last conversation, but a starting point. Be sure to include a photo of your child happily involved with one of their interests; it engages teachers’ interest and sparks their curiosity to learn more. In your one-pager, reflect on what worked and didn’t work last year. Make sure to include the child’s input, because teachers don’t always have the bandwidth to seek each child’s perspective. If your child has trouble writing their portion on their own, you can dictate for them or even record them and then transcribe it yourself. Share your child’s diagnosis if you have one so that the educators know who your child is and can put certain behaviors in perspective, especially if things may escalate. It has helped my child learn to trust others when someone can see them and respond to them for who they truly are and not the misinterpretation of their behavior. However, check in with your child to see what they think is okay to share with their teachers. Email the student one-pager to each of your child’s teachers. Explain how your child’s challenges may impact their class specifically. For example: “When my child gets very excited about a science lab, you may see all of that energy come out as disruptive behavior. To calm them down, have them take a one minute break outside.” “In English, when my child is very excited about a book, it can be very difficult for them to put it down. It will help you and them if you give them several warnings before transitions.” Tour the school and ask to meet your teachers before the school year begins. You can add this to your IEP as well. If your child has an IEP, I’ve found IEP meetings are often more helpful than parent teacher conferences especially in high school; schedule them as often as you need them throughout the year. Think about holding an IEP meeting 30 days into the school year to make sure the year is starting off in the right direction. In secondary schools, there is a tendency for schools to tell parents not to intervene and to let the child be independent; however, 2e kids may need more guardrails at the start of the year until they’re ready for more independence. Don’t feel bad about asking for time for your kid! IEPs in secondary school allow for all teachers to come together—including art, PE, etc.—that don’t always get to learn how your child’s challenges affect their classes. For instance, with today’s academic expectations, writing challenges can appear in any class, even PE and electives. Build a positive, productive relationship with your child’s teachers so that when you approach them they don’t see you as always coming to them with a problem or asking for things. Remember that teachers have a lot of classroom challenges in addition to learning how to support your child. Good implementation comes from having good collaboration and communication. Find your allies—for instance, the person on campus (librarian, front office manager, PE teacher, case manager, resource officer) that your child feels comfortable going to in a crisis, who understands your child, can speak to teachers on their behalf when necessary, who can give them a “safe space” to take a break and who your child can share wins with. It only takes one person to make a huge difference! And remember to share your child’s voice. Include them whenever it’s appropriate. It’s their journey. Their input is so important. Please note this caveat from Emon: These suggestions work best when you and your child are not in crisis mode, not in the middle of new assessments, or already know that you’ll be leaving the school because the environment isn’t a fit for your child. Related REEL event recordings: Creating Your Student Intro One-Sheet 2e IEP/504 Support / Working the System: Tap Into Public Schools for Assessment & Support for 2e Learners Print out these mantras and keep them nearby:

On Sept 19, 2023, REEL hosted a panel discussion entitled “ What Can You Ask Your School For? ” Emon Reynolds shared creative accommodations she has requested and what has worked and not worked. Amber Wilburn discussed parents rights in this process and the guide to IEPs for 2e students that she is creating in partnership with REEL. Neuropsychologist Mark Westerfield shared school supports he recommends for 2e students in his neuropsych evaluations. We also conducted a crowd-sourcing exercise to generate a list of ideas across various challenges, strengths, and K-12 grade levels. Thanks to everyone who contributed to the accommodations Padlet . You can continue to add your ideas! Here is a summary of some of the great ideas our community shared for supporting 2e neurodivergent learners: Writing/Dysgraphia If the lesson isn't learning to write, allow alternate ways to show mastery - such as graphic novel, slide show, skit, etc Allow speech to text, scribing Allow mind mapping software such as MindManager for helping with the writing process. Leverage online or computer-based graphic organizers such as Creately rather than physical organizers that can tax handwriting skills. Allow student to choose writing instruments (gel pens over pencils) for all subjects (i.e. for math, students cross out rather than erase). Eliminate timed written assessments Note taking assistance/notes provided Allow audio-recording of lectures Allow to take photo of "board" vs writing notes Using photos to save posters and groupwork for later work. Using multi-sensory techniques for kids with reading challenges Executive Functioning Provide rubric and examples of completed work Include visual organizers of the day, calendars of the week/month, with due dates, check-in clues, etc for the full class. Provide students with a single location for work submission, grade check in, homework requirements, etc. Planner and assignment completion check ins Chunking larger assignments into smaller pieces Providing checklists for multi-step assignments Allow digital submitting of assignments- at any grade level- once found, take a picture and email it in- done. No follow up steps and there is a record of things turned in. Teacher check in before independent work Anxiety When possible, give the student a preview of what particular work is coming the next day/week Allow "self-breaks" from class to take deep breaths, take a walk, get a drink of water, etc. when the student is feeling overwhelmed Avoid "cold calling" on a student for answers, to check "if they are listening', etc. Instead, let the child take the lead by raising their hand or observing quietly. Note early signs of dysregulation and check in to problem solve/offer support as soon as possible Provide a choice when an assignment topic induces anxiety or is emotionally charged. Using Strengths/Interests Allow student to do research / read / write in area of interest Allow student to show their strength by making them an expert about their favorite topic so kids come to them, or they teach a math game to the class, etc - a time of day they get to show what they're good at Allow multiple methods for demonstrating mastery, for example a video, a paper, a class presentation, a song, etc. Physical education support/alternatives Attention/Boredom Check in 1:1 after assigning work to ensure student understanding Weave student interests into assignments Allow for sensory strips, wobble chairs, quiet fidgets, doodles, standing desks, etc for all students. Allow students to dive deeper into materials if interest and ability follow. For example, if the class assignment is on the cell, allow the student to talk about the differences between animal and plant cells. Allow students to test out or telescope subjects where they have already gained mastery. In these areas, allow students to dive deeper via independent study. Frequent movement breaks Testing in a separate room Preferred seating Social skills/ social anxiety Provide structured activities during recess Allow a choice of working alone or in partners Explicitly outline roles and goals in group work Lunch bunch or lunch clubs that kids can create by topic of interest Play helper at lunch Pragmatic speech support group Emotional Regulation Do an emotion / energy check in with student to understand what they may be able to handle that day Use a visual (e.g., notecard, coping "toolbox", etc.) to remind student of self-regulation strategies they can use. Communicate with the child's school counselor/therapist to develop this visual. Pre-planned breaks each day with a trusted adult in a safe/preferred environment for the student. Slow Processing Shorten the assignment when mastery has already been shown (e.g. skip some math problems) Don't give timed tests like "Multiply 50 problems in 1 minute" Give extra time on tests Repeat/rephrase student responses Provide written directions/instructions Provide a copy of class notes/PowerPoints Allow for extra time to respond to questions verbally Sensory Allow student to leave loud classroom environment for a safe, quiet space for breaks Flexible seating (sitting, standing, lying down, etc.) Noise canceling headphones /earbuds allowed as needed Auditory Processing: ask for teacher to provide written assignments (not just verbal communication)

At REEL, we are passionate about helping parents, students, and teachers build bridges in support of maximizing each child’s potential. This includes neurodivergent and twice-exceptional learners, who often fall through the cracks . When everyone works together, amazing things can happen!  We are inspired by a graphic of Dr. Robin Schader’s  which visualizes teachers, students, and parents working together towards a common goal. She starts by drawing a triangle with the teacher, student, and parent at each point. As she explains, rather than pushing and pulling against one another in a 2-dimensional triangle, the collaboration needs to be made 3-dimensional (here she draws a point up above) with everyone looking up towards the common goal of maximizing the potential of the student. REEL loves Dr. Schader’s graphic because it helps people visualize the success we can achieve when we work together.  We wanted to take Dr. Schader’s concept a step further by placing it on top of a solid foundation of strengths & interests, interventions & accommodations:  At the base of this foundation is an understanding of, appreciation for, and commitment to develop each child’s strengths and interests. As Kimberlee Joseph, 2e Educational Consultant  and REEL team member, says:  “When strengths and interests are attended to in the classroom, more students will experience self confidence, enjoyment in learning, and a greater acceptance of self and others. In addition, research indicates that strength based approaches improve academic performance and engagement and lower incidences of challenging behaviors, absenteeism, and tardiness. Strength-based approaches are especially critical for the 2e, who spend a high degree of time focused on shoring up weaknesses or struggling with environments that are not designed for their learning profiles, but rather to a ‘norm’ that doesn’t align to their needs and strengths.” It is critical for parents and educators to take the time to understand what lights a child up and sustains them, and then to provide each child with opportunities to spend time in those spaces every day. Making sure kids know what they’re great at, and giving them time to do it and share it builds their self-efficacy and self-confidence. Not only does it give them time to hone and improve themselves, doing something they enjoy makes them feel good. Research shows that these types of positive experiences help build a wellspring of inner resources that an individual can draw upon throughout their lives, as well as improves their ability to attend to executive function, emotional regulation, and social attention in the here and now. (For more information, see the ‘for further reading’ section at the bottom of this post.) Those good feelings buoy students against challenges in other arenas - it fills their bucket so they are better able to take on challenges in their areas of weakness.  Which, as it happens, is the next layer of the pyramid: interventions & accommodations. Interventions include services such as pullout support, specialized tutoring, and therapists, as well as medications that can alleviate some of the challenges the child experiences. For example, a dyslexic student might receive phonemic awareness tutoring or work with an Orton-Gillingham tutor. A student with ADHD might take stimulant medication or meet  regularly with an executive function coach. An autistic student might spend time with an occupational therapist or speech and language pathologist.  Accommodations are the tools and supports that a child needs in order to be successful. For example, dyslexic students may use audiobooks to supplement their reading. Many autistic, ADHD, and dyslexic students benefit from dictation tools for writing. Dysgraphic students should have the option to type (rather than hand write) their work. Accommodations should never alter the core purpose of any unit and therefore never ‘lower the bar.’ They are simply alternative means for allowing all students to achieve the same goals . Too often, though, students’ strengths and interests are left behind. Interventions and accommodations work best when a student’s strengths are incorporated and prioritized. For example, let’s imagine a 5th grade student and call her Fern. Fern is a little Egyptologist. She has studied Egypt extensively on her own, through videos, audiobooks, and websites. Plus, Fern is very creative and has a lot of ideas. She makes interesting and insightful connections in class and likes to participate in group discussions. She is dyslexic and faces challenges when reading long texts and getting her thoughts into organized, written work. A reading specialist working with Fern could incorporate  strengths by choosing readings on Egyptian gods, and adding words like ‘sarcophagus’, ‘papyrus’, or ‘scarab’ into word list practices. This same specialist should be mindful of when during the school day Fern gets pulled out for tutoring, recognizing the child’s strength priorities , and finding a time where Fern will not miss her favorite history lessons or art class (where she’s working on a model pyramid!) The specialist asks Fern  for a few suggestions on good times to meet - Fern discusses it with her parents, and then suggests during Tuesday morning music class (she’s more focused then, and she takes piano after school so doesn’t mind missing this class), or during half of her Thursday afternoon double period math class (she feels that missing only half the class would leave her time to catch up when she returns).  Fern’s reading specialist knows that she is very creative, so they make sure to leave time in their sessions for her to ask questions about any of the words she comes across, or just talk about ideas that excite and interest her. Fern enjoys all of her classes because she can tell that the teachers appreciate her contributions, but she loves history class especially. In history she has been following along with the texts and doing her own research using audiobooks and watching videos online. She has learned a lot  about the economies of ancient Egypt. For her next assignment, she is going to show all that she knows about the economics of ancient Egypt without having to write an essay! (She has to work on her writing all the time in her English class.) Instead, her teacher has given students the option to propose alternative ways to show what they know, so Fern is creating a role-playing game that simulates a market bazaar for her classmates. Fern has drawn up characters, recorded a ‘background info’ video for her classmates to watch, and is excited to explain the roles, customs, and norms to her eager participants.  You can see that Fern is actively working on shoring up her deficits : she is working with a reading specialist, and she is practicing essay writing in English. Even though she may struggle to read and write as fast and as fluently as her peers, she is valued (even in English class!) for her strengths  such as her strong discussion abilities and creative out-of-the box ideas, connections, and thinking. Her interests  are also allowed to shine, with several teachers enabling her to incorporate her Egyptologist interests into all sorts of activities.  Fern, her parents, and her teachers are working together to create an environment where Fern can maximize her potential in all aspects of her academic life. And this, then, supports the big picture goal, which is to be sure Fern has the skills, knowledge, and confidence to bring her unique strengths, interests, and abilities to the world. Attending to strengths and interests on their own as well as finding ways to infuse them into a child’s interventions and accommodations can propel the learning experience for the child, aligning them with their long-term goals, increasing motivation in the here and now, and providing those positive experiences that create a strong foundation across their lifetime. Acknowledgements Thank you to Kimberlee Joseph and Callie Turk for their contributions to this post.  For further reading… Chaves, C. (2021). Wellbeing and flourishing. In M. L. Kern & M. L. Wehmeyer (Eds.), The Palgrave Handbook of Positive Education  (pp. 273–295). Springer International Publishing. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-64537-3_11 Das, K. V., Jones-Harrell, C., Fan, Y., Ramaswami, A., Orlove, B., & Botchwey, N. (2020). Understanding subjective well-being: Perspectives from psychology and public health. Public Health Reviews , 41 (1), 25. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40985-020-00142-5 Edie, B. L., and Edie, F. F. (2012 - Updated Edition 2023). The dyslexic advantage: Unlocking the hidden potential of the dyslexic brain . Plume.  Foss, B. (2013). The dyslexia empowerment plan.  Ballantine Books. Fredrickson, B. L. (1998). What good are positive emotions? Review of General Psychology , 2 (3), 300–319. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.2.3.300 Fredrickson, B. L. (2007). Broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. In R. Baumeister & K. Vohs (Eds.), Encyclopedia of Social Psychology  (1st ed., pp. 126– 127). SAGE Publications, Inc. https://doi.org/10.4135/9781412956253 Wood, R. (2019). Autism, intense interests and support in school: From wasted efforts to shared understandings. Educational Review , 73 (1), 34–54. https://doi.org/10.1080/00131911.2019.1566213

Finding and nurturing student strengths is a critical part of supporting twice-exceptional learners, who are both incredibly bright AND experience learning differences (e.g., autism, ADHD, dyslexia). Too often, the adults in their lives focus on shoring up their deficits, ignoring their immense talents and capabilities. Education professor M. Elizabeth Nielsen and educator L. Dennis Higgins observe “Many gifted students with disabilities view themselves as primarily disabled. So much attention has been focused on the things they cannot do well, they find it almost impossible to believe that they are bright, capable learners.” Education leaders, teachers, and parents play a pivotal role in flipping this script. And a new school year presents a great time to start! Strength-based activities set the stage for a positive school year. Research shows that focusing on student strengths, integrating their interests, and developing their talents will energize their motivation, help them to build self-confidence and self-determination, and create authentic ways to build skills even in areas of challenge. Plus, integrating strength-based activities can help to: Identify ways to build students’ strengths and interests into curriculum and activities Provide the opportunity for teachers and parents to talk about and integrate their own strengths and interests Create a strength-based community culture for learning and growth We’ve assembled 8 strength-based activities to uncover and tap into the strengths and interests of students. Try one and then come back and let us know how it went! “Business Card.” Have kids create their own “business card” with their name, images, and lists of hobbies, interests, favorite things, curiosities, values, etc. Then invite them to present these to their classmates and display them so that everyone can have a sense of one another’s strengths and interests. (Adapted from Susan Baum, 2021.) My Way Expression Style Inventory . 2e expert and strength-based leader Dr. Robin Schader noted in a recent teacher workshop that four choices in exit points can cover a wide range of talents: building, drawing, performing, and writing. Explore student preferences and strengths for showing their mastery with this worksheet from the University of Connecticut that gives students a tool to identify their favorite ways to express themselves, including written, oral, artistic, computer, audio/visual, dramatization, musical, commercial (entrepreneurial), and service. Visualization Board. Provide a wide range of materials (such as posters, glue, magazines, photos, markers, crayons, pencils, paint, access to a computer to complete the project if desired) and have every student create a display of what their vision is for their year, including up to three goals. The board can also include representations of their interests and curiosities. 3eMe Join the Dots. Create a document or use this template with three words in a triangular shape: “Excel”; “Excited”; “Enjoy”. Ask students to create their own lists of subjects, activities, and interests for each of the three categories. Any one item can and should be included in each of the columns if the category applies. Then, ask students to look for common items and draw lines between them—those with the most connections are the highest areas of strength and interest. (Adapted from Galloway et al., 2020.) Body Tracings. Use large pieces of paper and pens or chalk and sidewalks to trace each student’s body. Have them decorate their outlines with their strengths using images and words that resonate for them. Then do a gallery walk to see each other’s work. (Adapted from Rawana et al., 2014.) Strengths Journal/Notebook. Taking time to notice when we are at our best, happiest, and in a state of flow, can help to build resilience and a growth mindset, as well as understand what to advocate for in our learning and work environment. Each student creates a journal (in a written notebook OR an online tool) to be used throughout the year to capture new strengths and interests, complete strength-based activities, and reflect on what they’re learning about their own strengths and talents. Treasure Chests. Have everyone create a personal Treasure Chest or create a class Treasure Chest that includes mementoes, pictures, drawings, objects, positive and uplifting quotes, and anything else that reminds students of their own strengths, flow, creativity, and/or positive experiences. Add to the Treasure Chest throughout the year. Revisit the Treasure Chest at the start of a lesson, before a quiz/test/creative project, or when the day has been more difficult than expected. (Adapted from Eades, 2005) Mood Boosters. Identifying strengths and interests across a group builds community as well. Work together with your children to create a list of all the books they love, the songs they like to sing or listen to, etc. UK educator and author of the book Celebrating Strengths: Building Strengths-Based Schools advises to “Build this resource throughout the year as you notice what they particularly enjoy, what calms them down, what cheers them up. You invite them to choose one for the start of a lesson, to prepare for learning or after a bad lesson, to repair everybody’s mood.” (Adapted from Eades, 2005) Starting the year with strength-based activities can help educators and parents identify strengths and interests, setting the stage for growing those strengths and interests into talents. Goal-setting and planning activities, where students work with teachers to create an action plan for reaching their goals for the year, can follow many of these activities. For instance, the insights gleaned can be used to create a learning commitment from each student that lists their strengths with at least one specific, SMART learning goal based on their individual strengths. The plan can include personal goals set by the student and assigned/suggested goals from the teacher. Teachers can use this to help students create a pathway from where they are today to where they would like to be in the future, from their “Now Self” to their “Tomorrow Self.” (Adapted from Galloway et al., 2020 and Lopez & Louis, 2009.) Sources & Additional Info: Baum, S. M. (2021). IEC 511/611 Cognitive Diversity and Strength-based, Talent-focused Education. Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity in Education . Eades, J. M. (2005). Celebrating strengths: Building strengths-based schools . CAPP Press. Galloway, R., Reynolds, B., & Williamson, J. (2020). Strengths-based teaching and learning approaches for children: Perceptions and practices. Journal of Pedagogical Research, 4 (1), 31-45. https://doi.org/10.33902/jpr.2020058178 Kettle, K. E., Renzulli, J. S., & Rizza, M. G. (n.d.). My way: An expression style inventory . Renzulli Center for Creativity, Gifted Education, and Talent Development. https://gifted.uconn.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/961/2015/10/myway.pdf Lopez, S. J., & Louis, M. C. (2009). The principles of strengths-based education. Journal of College and Character , 10 (4). https://doi.org/10.2202/1940-1639.1041 Nielsen, M. E., & Higgins, L. D. (2005). The eye of the storm: Services and programs for twice-exceptional learners. TEACHING Exceptional Children, 38 (1), 8-15. https://doi.org/10.1177/004005990503800102 Rawana, E., Brownlee, K., Probizanski, M., Harris, H., & Baxter, D. (2014). Reshaping school culture: Implementing a strengths-based approach in schools. The Centre of Education and Research on Positive Youth Development. Rawana, E., Latimer, K., Whitley, J., & Probizanski, M. (2009). Strength-based classroom strategies for teachers. Canadian Teacher , 6 (2), 16-17.

If you’ve ever traveled to a foreign country, you know how stressful it is to enter an unfamiliar environment. Everything is different: the customs, the language, the social norms, the mentality. You’re stressed and overwhelmed. The novelty makes your head spin. This anxiety is very familiar to me–not because I travel, but because I have autism. Social norms and cues that most people seem to grasp intuitively have never come naturally to me. I had to piece them together laboriously, and even then, I make blunders. I’m frequently overwhelmed by sensory stimuli that most people seem not to notice, and internal aspects of autism–cognitive rigidity, atypical interoception, detail-oriented thinking–make anxiety even tougher to manage. For me, these struggles with anxiety also fit into the spiky cognitive profile that characterizes 2e learners. Twice-exceptional kids and teens are highly advanced in some areas and struggle significantly in others. In my case, learning Russian felt much easier than naming basic emotions.  Nevertheless, I’ve developed solutions over the years. Anxiety remains a part of my life, but I’ve learned to change it when I can and accept it when I can’t.  In my last post, I shared my experience of learning to recognize anxiety. In this one, I’ll outline the tactics that help me manage. I divide my anxiety solutions into two core categories: maintenance and coping strategies.  Maintenance Strategies Maintenance strategies help me stay at a steady baseline. I practice them regularly to keep overwhelm at bay. They include: -Physical activity:  Exercise is a form of sensory regulation for me, and each activity offers unique benefits. In high school, yoga helped me improve my balance and interoception and become approximately 28% less clumsy. Rollerblading provides a satisfying sense of power and acceleration, and swimming is rhythmic and calming. My latest favorite, weightlifting, is oddly similar to my weighted blanket; my muscles relax fully after. -Meditation-like experiences:  I’ve never been a fan of true meditation, but I’ve found mindfulness more palatable. Lately, I’ve been doing lots of progressive muscle relaxation, which involves systematically tensing and releasing muscle groups. Other options include deep breathing, body scans, and yoga. -Managing my social battery:  This became a point of considerable confusion before I received an autism diagnosis. Therapists and psychiatrists typically interpreted my preference not to socialize as a sign of anxiety or depression. Avoidance reinforces social anxiety, so treatment involves challenging those fears by exposing oneself to social situations.  I do experience social anxiety, perhaps because I find social interactions so befuddling, but I also have a lower capacity for socializing. Think of it this way: everyone has a social battery. Once the battery dies, you need to recharge it. Most people’s batteries recharge to 100%, but mine never seems to go above 30%, no matter how long I “charge” it by resting and being alone. This isn’t a temporary hurdle that I can overcome with exposure therapy; it’s an unfortunate limitation that I’ve learned to work around. I space out social activities and schedule downtime in between, and I try to notice the signs of social fatigue before my battery goes dead. Coping Strategies Coping strategies  are targeted and tactical. They help me handle acute stressors. I think of them as tools in a toolbox: I might technically “have” a strategy accessible to me, but it takes practice to wield it effectively. Trying a strategy once usually isn’t enough to determine whether it works for me, and I’ve learned to keep persisting even if I’m not sure I’ll be successful. Perspective-taking:  In moments of stress, I try to remember past situations when I panicked over an imagined scenario that never actually happened. I also ask myself, “Will I be worried about this in a week? A month? A year?” Usually, the answer is no. Deep breathing:  Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the body’s rest-and-digest functions. Online GIFs  can help with pacing. Sensory input: Intense sensory input, like a cold shower or a few drops of hot sauce, can provide a shock to the system that interrupts the anxiety spiral. Music: Somebody once suggested creating a playlist that begins with one emotion (e.g., panic) and gradually shifts to another, song by song. I’ve never gotten around to implementing this, but it could be a fun project. Until then, I’ll stick with my Garden Indie Spotify playlist. One thing at a time: When I feel an anxiety spiral accelerating, I try to set aside worries about the future and focus on what I can do in the short term. I tell myself I have plenty of time to worry about the rest, which is true, but for now, I might as well control what I can. Dog:  Canines have remarkable anti-anxiety properties. My dog seems to identify as a lap dog, so she functions as a portable weighted blanket, sitting on top of me when I need her to–and also when I don’t. She licks my hands to ground me (or perhaps because I taste like food), and she gets me outside regularly. She does, however, occasionally create enormous anxiety by eating tennis balls and requiring expensive surgery. She gets away with it because she’s cute. Conjugating Russian verbs: An unorthodox tactic, perhaps, but it’s highly effective, and I bet you could find equivalents for most 2e kids’ hyper-specific interests (listing video game characters? naming types of trains?) About Lucy: I graduated from Stanford in 2024 with a degree in psychology and Slavic Studies. I currently live in Boston and work as a writing tutor with a focus on supporting 2e/neurodivergent students. I've been involved in the neurodiversity world since I was diagnosed with autism at age 18. I hope to pursue a PhD in psychology and develop evidence-based interventions to help neurodivergent students write. For tutoring inquiries, please check out my website !

As a 2e teenager, I was almost always anxious, but I didn’t always know  I was anxious. I felt my rapid heart rate, my thoughts racing, the fluttering in my stomach, the dizzy spells–but these perceptions never cohered into an overarching sense of emotion, and I couldn’t connect them to anything that was happening in my life. If you asked me how I felt, I probably would have just said, “Fine,” “Bad,” or simply “I don’t know.” This lack of emotional awareness wasn’t specific to anxiety. I couldn’t identify sadness, either, nor did I have a grasp of more nuanced gradations like disappointment, irritation, or envy.  Positive feelings were equally baffling. I couldn’t make sense of the bright, fizzing sensation that I now call joy. Even unambiguously positive emotions became too overwhelming to handle. In short, I was overwhelmed with emotions that I couldn’t quite put into words. Scientists have a word for this. It’s called alexithymia. Alexithymia, explained Alexithymia isn’t a clinical diagnosis, although it shows up in many physical and psychiatric conditions. Instead, it’s thought of as a personality trait, akin to extraversion or neuroticism. Alexithymia has three facets, or core components: Difficulty identifying one’s own emotions: “Am I angry, sad, frustrated, scared, or something else altogether?” Difficulty describing one’s emotions: “How do I put this feeling into words?” A tendency not to focus on one’s own emotions: “It’s weird for me to think about my feelings, so I try to avoid them.” Someone who strongly agrees with these sample survey items would be said to have high alexithymia. High alexithymia is particularly prevalent in the autistic population, with 30% to 60% of autistic individuals exhibiting clinical levels of alexithymia. I don’t know of any research on alexithymia in the 2e population, but I suspect that many 2e learners struggle to name and understand their feelings. As a result of asynchronous development, 2e kids’ intellectual abilities often outpace their emotional intelligence.  Until just a few years ago, I was the poster child for autism-alexithymia-2e crossover. These struggles made it challenging to cope with all emotions, but anxiety proved especially problematic, perhaps because I experience it almost constantly. Learning to identify anxiety was the first step to managing it, and I suspect this may be true for other 2e kids and teens, as well. What causes alexithymia? As with most questions in psychology, there are no definitive answers but lots of possibilities. One explanation relates to interoception , the ability to perceive bodily sensations. These include hunger, thirst, and pain, as well as the physical feelings linked to emotions. To understand our emotions, we need to pay attention to and interpret physical cues like a pounding heart, tingling hands, or fluttering stomach. Autism and alexithymia have been linked to a phenomenon researchers refer to as "interoceptive confusion," which is the difficulty in making sense of physical sensations. Does my stomach hurt because I’m anxious, or is that just hunger? Is the tightness in my chest a sign of sickness or dread? These types of questions can befuddle high-alexithymics and autistics. Other studies suggest that autistic people and those with high alexithymia tend not to notice sensory input until it becomes overwhelming. Someone might go an entire day without eating, unaware of their hunger. They might not notice pain or injury, or they might not recognize anxiety until it escalates into full-blown panic.  Both of these interoceptive issues make it hard to interpret the physical sensations that signal our emotions. In my case, physical sensations were confusing enough that just thinking about them increased my anxiety, which made it even harder to understand my feelings. A second explanation involves emotion knowledge. According to this hypothesis, kids start out with broad, undifferentiated emotional terms: good or bad, happy or sad, upset or calm. As kids get older, they flesh out these categories. “Happy” becomes “excited,” “content,” and “overjoyed.” “Sad” expands into “disappointed,” “lonely,” and “hurt.” These additional shades of nuance help kids describe their feelings more precisely and accurately. It could be that people with high alexithymia, though, haven’t developed their emotional vocabularies in this way. They only have a few words to describe their feelings. If other people see the whole rainbow of emotions, high-alexithymia individuals live in grayscale. A third possibility suggests that alexithymia might represent both a lack of ability to understand emotions and  a coping strategy. When someone struggles to comprehend their feelings, they may push those emotions away and focus on more concrete matters. Psychologists call this avoidance alexithymia. Over time, a long-term pattern of avoiding feelings can hinder a person’s ability to develop emotional awareness, as they miss valuable opportunities to practice understanding their emotions. Consequently, this reduced emotional awareness can drive the individual to continue ignoring or suppressing their feelings, perpetuating the cycle of alexithymia. (I should clarify that this framing represents my hypothesis, not a scientific finding, though I wouldn’t be surprised if this speculation were borne out in the data.) What do we do? Scientists are still in the early stages of developing solutions for individuals with high alexithymia, so while I can’t offer a bulletproof, scientifically backed solution, I can share what worked for me. I started tackling alexithymia by becoming more aware of physical sensations. The yoga classes I took throughout high school proved enormously beneficial. To follow an instructor’s directions, you have to attach words and concepts to physical sensations. I gradually learned to feel the difference between muscle tension and relaxation. Later, I found a similar benefit in a very different activity: weightlifting. Every weightlifting session feels like an embodied anatomy lesson. I do a series of exercises, and I can feel exactly which body parts are working. Over time, this experience has built up and clarified my sense of physical sensations, teaching me to interpret these sensations by inducing them under controlled circumstances. Most recently, I’ve started practicing mindfulness (or trying to) throughout the day. It turns out that all the mindfulness hype is well-deserved. In particular, progressive muscle relaxation has been a game-changer. By systematically tensing and relaxing each muscle group, I can calm myself down immediately, something I’d never managed to do before. If this video  hits a million views, I think I deserve partial credit. Alongside physical activity, I also experimented with outsourcing emotion recognition. I’d talk to people I trusted, people who had known me for most of my life, and they would help me put the pieces together. Gradually, I learned that dizziness in the context of stressful life events usually indicated anxiety; that heat and adrenaline signaled anger; and that the bright, effervescent, shaken-bottle-of-Kombucha feeling equated to joy. If you or your child experiences similar struggles with recognizing emotions, the following tips may help: -Take this questionnaire  to measure your levels of alexithymia. Your responses can offer insight into specific challenges. -Keep a feelings wheel  on hand for easy access to emotion terms. -Check out the following resources to learn about physical manifestations of emotion: Science Bulletins: Mapping Emotions in the Body Can You Physically Feel Emotions? | Psych Central Mapping Emotions On The Body: Love Makes Us Warm All Over : Shots - Health News : NPR -Explore mindfulness activities such as body scans and progressive muscle relaxation. These practices are especially beneficial if done regularly. You’ll start to notice patterns and become more familiar with your feelings. About Lucy: I graduated from Stanford in 2024 with a degree in psychology and Slavic Studies. I currently live in Boston and work as a writing tutor with a focus on supporting 2e/neurodivergent students. I've been involved in the neurodiversity world since I was diagnosed with autism at age 18. I hope to pursue a PhD in psychology and develop evidence-based interventions to help neurodivergent students write. For tutoring inquiries, please check out my website !

High school brings an increase in EF demands, as students are expected to take more responsibility for tracking assignments, managing their workload, and juggling more challenging classes. With the right strategies in place, the high school transition can be a valuable opportunity to level up your 2e teenager’s EF skills.  Tip 1: Adopt Simple Organizational Habits I’ve squandered countless hours on elaborate, overly ambitious organization schemes and time management approaches that last a week or two before becoming too cumbersome to sustain. Thus, I’ve learned to appreciate the value of small, simple actions repeated consistently. The following habits each take under two minutes, and they can have enormous benefits for overall organization. Take two minutes in the evening to lay out the next day’s clothes. You could even pack a bag/backpack if you’re feeling ambitious. Place a whiteboard next to the door and list 3-5 essential items (keys, backpacks, lunchboxes, headphones, phones, etc.). Before leaving, check to make sure you have said items. Tip: Any statement that begins with, “You need to…” will almost certainly be ignored. These strategies will be more effective if you implement them with  your kids: “Let’s take a minute to [insert thing here]...” Tip 2: Get a Planner High school is the perfect time for teenagers to start tracking their homework independently. I recommend starting with a simple, low-friction planning system–no need to get lost in the online rabbit hole of hypercomplicated productivity methods. The first question to ask is whether you want a digital or physical planner. Each option has pros and cons. Digital systems  are higher-capacity, accessible across devices, and hard to lose. Todoist, Google Keep, MyHomework Student Planner, TickTick, Any.do , and Minimalist are great options. Physical planners often provide a sense of calm to teenagers who get overwhelmed easily. Visual layouts are especially beneficial for those with ADHD or time-blindness. Teens who enjoy arts and crafts might have fun customizing and color-coding, and a more aesthetically pleasing planner is more likely to be used. Tip: Beware the Canvas illusion. Learning management systems (LMSs) like Canvas, Blackboard, and Schoology resemble planners in that they aggregate and organize school assignments. Thus, I have the following conversation at least once a month: Lucy: I would recommend using a planner. Student: I don’t need a planner. I have Canvas. My response is always the same. Canvas and the like create a false sense of organization, but they aren’t adequate substitutes for planners. Here’s why: These systems only show tasks assigned by teachers. Students can’t add or remove additional to-do items. Not only does this reduce the LMS’s functionality, it also removes an opportunity for students to develop EF skills. Teachers use these systems differently. Some might upload work at the last minute; others have the full semester’s worth. Some might not even use the online platform at all. As a result, it’s possible for a student to do every assignment on Canvas and still miss crucial tasks. Some students use Canvas as a cop-out or an excuse for not being on top of homework: “Well, my teacher didn’t post it in the normal place, so how was I supposed to know?” In some cases, this really is on the teacher, but generally, high school students are responsible for knowing what work is assigned. The bottom line: Get a planner!  Tip 3: Set Up A Shared Family Calendar These tools are convenient, as they allow you to have a family calendar, a household calendar, a kid-specific calendar, and more. They also help facilitate the shift from parents managing schedules to kids taking responsibility for their own. For example, during the first semester of high school, you might handle entering your kids’ activities, but by the next semester, they can start taking on that task.  You can also set a good example by adding relevant details (flight boarding passes, addresses, tickets) to calendar events. Or you can be like my dad and entertain the family by occasionally adding your personal events to the shared calendar. It seems that I’ll be having “lunch with Steve” next Tuesday and an ambiguously named “appointment” on September 16th. I’m not sure who Steve is, but he sounds great. Tip 4: Encourage Good Study Habits The study habits that were effective in middle school often aren’t suitable for the heavier workloads in high school. These tips will help rising freshmen establish a solid study foundation. Take a 30-minute break between school and homework. Very few high schoolers have the stamina to go straight from a day of classes to homework. Half an hour should be just enough to relax and reset. Set up the environment. Our physical and digital surroundings have an enormous impact on our state of mind and behavior. The following changes can help teenagers enter and stay in homework mode: Close distracting tabs and applications Mute notifications Put away potentially distracting items–but note that one kid’s distractor is another’s accommodation. Stim toys can provide helpful sensory input Have a visual timer of some sort handy Lay out necessary supplies Put up a politely phrased “do not disturb” sign Map out the day’s work visually:  a physical planner, whiteboard, or Google Spreadsheet can help teenagers map out exactly what they need to do. With practice, 2e teens will also get better at estimating how long a task will take and planning accordingly. Take breaks.  Many of the students I work with are reluctant to take breaks once they get started. I usually make the case like this: “You can’t focus indefinitely because nobody can. At some point, your concentration will wane, and you’ll find yourself drifting off to another task. That means you have two options. You can either 1) schedule a break proactively and be in control or your attention, or 2) keep going until you’re too tired to focus, at which point it becomes harder to return to the task.” Many high schoolers also benefit from identifying things to do during breaks. Stretching, fidget toys, going on a quick walk, working on a puzzle, eating a snack, doing origami, and petting a dog are all great options. Petting a cat works, too. Tip 5: Explore Other Resources For all its pitfalls, the internet is a phenomenal source of EF guidance. Here are some of my favorite sites, YouTube channels, and browser extensions: Understood.org  – Offers tools, articles, and resources specifically focused on executive functioning, ADHD, and learning differences. ADDitude Magazine  – Covers ADHD and related executive function challenges with tips for teens and their parents. I don’t have ADHD, and I still find many of these tips invaluable. How to ADHD  – Offers digestible, practical videos on executive function, time management, and organization. I especially love this video on procrastination. Solving Procrastination  – A phenomenal science-based resource that breaks down different types of procrastination, explains underlying mechanisms, and lays out solutions StudyHacks  – Blog by Cal Newport, who writes about deep work, slow productivity, avoiding digital distractions, and more. I consider this an advanced EF resource, best suited to those who have solid skills in place and are ready for hard-core planning and organization. Apps, Extensions, and Sites Take a Five   – Automatically closes a tab after a predetermined time, letting you take a quick break without getting sidetracked. PomoFocus  – Uses the Pomodoro technique, interspersing 25-minute work intervals with five-minute breaks. Unhook   – Removes YouTube distractions, including recommendations and autoplay. SelfControl  – Free Mac app that blocks websites for customizable intervals. Goblin Tools  – Cuts through task paralysis by breaking big tasks into smaller steps, scaffolding decision-making, estimating how long activities will take, and more. Written? Kitten!  – For every 100 words you write, the site shows you a kitten! Note: This works best if you like kittens. About Lucy: I graduated from Stanford in 2024 with a degree in psychology and Slavic Studies. I currently live in Boston and work as a writing tutor with a focus on supporting 2e/neurodivergent students. I've been involved in the neurodiversity world since I was diagnosed with autism at age 18. I hope to pursue a PhD in psychology and develop evidence-based interventions to help neurodivergent students write. For tutoring inquiries, please check out my website !

At age 18, I enrolled in an intensive social skills training course. The class was thorough and demanding. I memorized entire dialogues to incorporate into conversations. I learned how to introduce myself, write an email, make a phone call, wish someone a happy birthday, order a meal, or ask for directions. I wrote scripts and rehearsed them until I had them down. I recorded myself performing full monologues and received detailed feedback on my pronunciation and inflection. After each lesson, my mouth felt full of marbles, and I was exhausted from trying to keep every detail straight in my head, but my efforts paid off. I was no longer tongue-tied at the start of a conversation. I could express myself with relative confidence, and I was proud of what I had accomplished. What was the name of this magical course, you ask? SLAVLANG 181, also known as third-year Russian. I’m sure my professor had no idea that she’d become my de facto social skills coach. I didn’t expect it either. I signed up for the class for the same reasons everyone else did: 80% love of learning and 20% masochism. However, along the way, I learned invaluable lessons in the fine art of interacting with other humans. I’m still quite awkward, but somehow, I'm less awkward in a foreign language than in my native one. My love of Russian has also motivated me to step outside my comfort zone in everyday life. I built close relationships with professors and classmates in college. I'm hesitant to meet new people, but I don't think twice before booking a virtual Russian lesson with a stranger. I've even started conversations with Russian speakers in real life. To many, that might seem trivial, but to me, it's huge. I call this a strengths-based approach to social skills. It’s based on interests. It offers natural scaffolding. And perhaps most importantly, instead of aiming to make an autistic person "normal," this approach prioritizes interests, values, and self-advocacy. For years, adults in my life had recommended that I "take a social skills class," and for years, I'd resisted this well-intentioned advice. Social skills training just sounded bad. I imagined being scrutinized and dissected, my every word and gesture taken apart and corrected until I was finally resculpted into a less autistic version of myself, one that would be more palatable to those around me. Don't get me wrong; it's not that autism doesn't confer impairment. I wish social interactions came naturally to me. I'd love to be able to strike up conversations with strangers, fluidly shift in and out of eye contact, or understand a group chat without constantly googling slang. I consider autism a disability because it makes everyday life more difficult. These social struggles are frustrating and isolating. If there were a quick, easy fix, I'd sign up in a heartbeat. But there's no quick fix, and many of the solutions that are offered to higher-functioning autistic individuals like me come at an enormous cost. Inadvertently or otherwise, these interventions convey the message that there's something wrong with the way autistic people naturally communicate and that without becoming indistinguishable from neurotypicals, people on the spectrum will never be liked or accepted. Moreover, social skills training and therapy can lose sight of an autistic person's actual preferences, focusing instead on what providers think a person should  want. In my teenage years, I was never going to be a stereotypical adolescent who posted on Instagram, obsessed over TV shows, and enjoyed midnight pizza parties–and yet, these were precisely the goals that my therapists prioritized. These goals were pushed on me so fervently that I began to doubt my own sense of what I wanted. Maybe the professionals were right. Maybe I would be happier if I were more normal. I went through a brief phase of trying to conform to these expectations. I learned the lyrics to several Shawn Mendes songs (not Shakespeare, but catchy for sure). I created an Instagram account and posted a selfie or two, feeling like an alien trying to blend in with another species. I even watched Mean Girls,  which I'll admit was enlightening. Pretty soon, though, my attempts at normalcy fell apart because I'm not typical. I'm a geek who never stays up past 10 pm and hasn't attended a party since 2017, and I'm okay with that. Abandoning the social skills I don't need has helped me focus on the ones that really matter to me: having deep conversations; supporting my students in tutoring sessions; being there for my friends when they need me; and memorizing important Russian phrases like, "Have you seen Uncle Vanya?" and "Where is the potato?" Best of all, my Russian-based social skills training didn't involve any judgment or criticism of my natural ways of being. I was there because I wanted to learn, not because something about me needed to be fixed. I had agency and ownership, and that made my learning infinitely more meaningful. I know others on the spectrum who have developed their own versions of strengths-based social skills training. A college classmate was coxswain on the rowing team, meaning that she literally steered her team's ship. Her coach helped her modulate her voice, choose the right words, and read her teammates' nonverbal cues so she could lead effectively. Another acquaintance tackled her autism-related social anxiety by joining an improv troop. Forcing herself into the spotlight made day-to-day social interactions less scary. To help an autistic youngster discover their version of strengths-based socializing, start with their interests. What makes them tick? What do they love? What could they talk about endlessly?  From there, consider how other humans are involved in that passion. Is there an online community where they could participate in conversations and answer questions? Can they join an online fan community to connect with others who share their hobby? Could they attend an online meet-up? If they love video games, anime, or other fictional worlds, could they look to their favorite characters to better understand social relationships? (I could do a whole separate post on learning social cues from sitcoms.) Don't underestimate the power of non-human socialization, either. Dogs and cats may not talk, but they're very capable of social cognition, and animal interactions can feel more manageable to some autistics. Once you've identified interest-based opportunities to socialize, you can start looking for ways to develop social skills. Semi-structured activities like language classes, martial arts, dance, and theater all naturally incorporate social rituals and awareness. Fandoms and subcultures often have their own norms and conventions that, once mastered, can help autistic participants feel more at home. Volunteering is also a fantastic way to connect to local communities and build social skills in the process. And of course, you could always take a Russian class. About Lucy: I graduated from Stanford in 2024 with a degree in psychology and Slavic Studies. I currently live in Boston and work as a writing tutor with a focus on supporting 2e/neurodivergent students. I've been involved in the neurodiversity world since I was diagnosed with autism at age 18. I hope to pursue a PhD in psychology and develop evidence-based interventions to help neurodivergent students write. For tutoring inquiries, please check out my website !

After the screening of Left Behind we hosted a powerful panel conversation about the intersection of dyslexia and giftedness. This panel brings together leaders in the field of learning differences: --Dr. Fernette Eide, international expert on dyslexia and co-author of The Dyslexic Advantage and The Mislabeled Child, co-creator of the forthcoming movie, The Dyslexic Advantage. --Anna Cencioso, Founder and Head of School at Touchstone Learning --Mandy Hoff, Learning Specialist at the Schwab Learning Center Together, they’ll explore why dyslexia is often misunderstood or missed entirely in 2e (twice-exceptional) learners, how traditional identification methods fall short, and what kinds of supports truly help these students thrive. The conversation will address what effective, affirming support can look like across the K–12 journey, how to advocate for appropriate accommodations and instruction, and how a strengths-based view of dyslexia changes everything. Video Transcript: Video Transcript: Yael Valek: So, Fernette began her career as a neurologist and scientist, and it was only when her children had learning challenges that she and her husband, Dr. Brock Eide, became interested in using neuroscience-informed, strength-based strategies to encourage and support students and their families. Conventional ways of testing and education overlooked strengths. Dr. Fernette Eide is the co-author and co-founder of Dyslexic Advantage—the book, the nonprofit, and now the movie—as well as co-founder of NeuroLearning.com . Anna began her career in the early '90s as a public school elementary teacher in Palo Alto, California. Always passionate about literacy, when her bright son struggled to learn how to read, she was on a mission to help him. That was the beginning of her journey to understand the strengths and challenges of a dyslexic learning profile and the science-based methods that lead to grade-level reading. Anna ultimately founded Touchstone Learning in Redwood City, California, a small school designed to meet the unique needs of gifted dyslexic students, preparing them to transition to a school of their choice. With over 11 years of experience as a public school teacher, Mandy brings a deep understanding of education and student development to her current role as a learning specialist at Schwab Learning Center, part of the Children's Health Council. She works closely with high school students and adults, offering personalized strategies for learning and executive functioning, particularly for individuals with ADHD, dyslexia, and other learning differences. Her approach is rooted in the belief that every person has unique strengths, and Mandy is passionate about helping each learner unlock their full potential through tailored support that honors who they are and how they learn best. Yael Valek: Welcome, we're so excited to have you here. Audience, feel free to put questions in the chat, and we will ask them after we ask a few questions of our own. So, you are all former teachers and scientists. What struck you about this film, and what kinds of experiences that it touches on led you to do the work that you do today? Anna Cencioso: I really resonated with those women. My son, who ended up being dyslexic, was a super bright kid, and yet he was not learning how to read. I was using everything I had learned in teacher college—practically hitting him over the head with it—and it wasn't working. I didn’t understand why. When I asked the school, they didn’t want to test him. They said there was no problem. And when they did test him, I said, “His dad is dyslexic. I think he’s dyslexic.” They said, “We don’t like to use those labels because that really pigeonholes kids.” This was so typical. They looked at the data and said, “He’s average intelligence. It’s going to take him a while to figure out how to read.” But I’d been a teacher for a long time, and this didn’t strike me as an issue of intellect. That threw me into a place of realizing the school wasn’t the answer. They didn’t understand what I was seeing, and they weren’t listening to me. They made it seem like I wanted him to be dyslexic. What I wanted was for him to be recognized. That got me started with a reading therapist. I saw what she was doing with him, and I could see the progress. Then I thought, “You know what? I want to change the focus of my teaching because I want to help these kids.” Fernette Eide: It’s so crazy. It’s really common, but there can be variations that mess people up—whether it’s more writing, more reading—it changes over time. But the lack of awareness, identification, and importantly, teachers being able to teach the right methods is just shocking. Even in private schools, even in areas with a lot of money invested in education, there’s this philosophy: “Don’t say it’s dyslexia.” As far as I can tell, it came from neuropsychologists. They said, “Don’t say it’s dyslexia. Say it’s a reading achievement problem.” But that disconnects from the science. There’s a wealth of research about the strengths in people with dyslexia, and if you don’t identify it specifically, you don’t get targeted intervention. Reading difficulties that aren’t dyslexia often require different approaches. Lumping all these different kids together—especially in twice-exceptional situations—means they don’t get their strengths recognized, or their weaknesses. These kids are perceptive. They know something isn’t making sense. If you don’t explain why certain things are hard, they internalize it. One kid in our movie said, “I guess I must be one of the dumb kids.” That’s one of the most common things we hear. Anna Cencioso: The movie really resonated. The slowness of trying to get ahold of people—it was painful seeing the mom with all the cards, not knowing how to break things down. She’d never been told. Why? There are books and step-by-step guides now, but no one talked to her. And yet, so much money was spent on education. Mandy Hoff: One quote from the movie really stood out: “Kids excel where they find joy.” I’d add, “Where they feel like they belong.” That was a huge part of why I loved teaching—creating a classroom where everyone belonged. Maybe they didn’t like math, but I’d say, “Let’s try this anyway.” I loved creating that family. But with 30 kids, there’s only so much time. I valued working one-on-one and seeing that growth. That’s why I became a learning specialist.When kids act out, it’s a sign that a need isn’t being met. Especially for kids with dyslexia, school can be procedural and hard. It doesn’t fit their strengths. They act out and get penalized, when really adults need to ask, “What does this behavior mean?” Anna Cencioso: Yes! They’re trying to get their needs met. “I’m not learning, so what can I do to not feel dumb?” They act out, become the joker, pretend they’re bored. What they’re really saying is, “Can somebody help me?” Yael Valek: Why is dyslexia so misunderstood or missed in the 2E population? How do traditional identification methods fall short? Anna Cencioso: Smart kids compensate. They might have great background knowledge and guess what a passage says. They can make it seem like they understood, even if they couldn’t read multi-syllable words. Writing about it is even harder. Reading tests often don’t pinpoint phonological awareness. And if the screener doesn’t have good phonological awareness themselves, they can’t identify it in others. Kids with stealth dyslexia are bright and compensate well. But when they hit science in middle or high school, they face long words they can’t decode. They haven’t been given the tools. It’s not rocket science—it’s the science of reading. But not enough teachers are trained. Fernette Eide: Screening in schools is helpful but not comprehensive. DIBELS is often used to say whether you’re “in or out.” Comprehensive testing is expensive and time-consuming. There’s concern about privilege—should resources go to students who can’t read at all? But I think all students should get what they need. It’s unfair when systems pit one group against another. Students with high IQ and low performance due to dyslexia experience existential angst. Doctors might see a kid and think they’re fine, but parents see the long-term struggle. Some parents go nuclear—homeschooling, charter schools—because they see their kids disappear. It’s shocking. Mandy Hoff: Many fall through the cracks due to past ignorance. Even now, they mask so well. Adults in top colleges have dyslexia and don’t know. They blame themselves. When they’re finally diagnosed, it’s a revelation. They memorize word shapes. That’s why testing nonsense words is important—it reveals whether they’ve truly learned to decode. Everyone deserves to have their needs met. 2E learners may seem fine, but dropout rates are high. As school gets harder, gaps widen. Anna Cencioso: School screenings aren’t the end-all. Private testing is expensive, but dyslexia screenings are more affordable. With that knowledge, parents can move forward confidently. They can say, “I’m not crazy. This is what’s happening.” Yael Valek: What happens when you don’t screen and support kids early? Anna Cencioso: Most kids enter our school in fourth grade. That’s late. The developmental window for adult literacy starts closing around age 9. It’s not impossible, but it’s improbable they’ll reach adult-level reading without remediation. Teachers mean well, but they say, “They just need more time.” No! Early intervention is critical. If remediated by first or second grade, the sky’s the limit. Their self-esteem is intact, and they can reach their potential. By fourth grade, they feel bad about themselves. They think they’re lazy or immature—labels teachers give them because they don’t understand why smart kids aren’t reading. Trust your gut. If you think there’s a problem, there probably is. Dyslexia runs in families. If one child has it, check siblings too. Mandy Hoff: In third grade, kids shift from learning to read to reading to learn. If they can’t read, they fall behind. The gaps grow. High school is already hard. Add in negative self-talk from teachers and parents—it’s heartbreaking. Fernette Eide:I'm all for early intervention, totally for that. But I also want to say—because there are some parents out there who maybe weren’t identified themselves, or they have kids who are in high school, or even college. The movie touched on concerns about the prison pipeline, but there are also many adults who were never identified. That’s just the name of the game. Some people look back and say, “There were all these doors that were closed to us.” But because we had an eclectic community of dyslexic adults through Dyslexic Advantage, I was able to interview many of them. Some, just by pure grit and refusal to take no for an answer, were able to get their education and make breakthroughs. Some made it through higher education, though there were sticky points—college, grad school. I interviewed one of the central scientists at Genentech who helped develop recombinant DNA for insulin. His name is Dennis Clyde. He nearly didn’t get his PhD because he struggled with writing his thesis. His sponsor had to appeal on his behalf. There’s also Kathy Drennan, an MIT professor. She reads by the shape of words. She was told she wasn’t college material. These stories are rare, but they’re powerful. They show that even if you’re late to the game, it’s not over. These individuals ignored bad advice and found their strengths through doing—not reading about it. Kathy learned best in the lab, through experiments, discussions, and hands-on learning. So yes, early intervention is ideal, but lack of it doesn’t mean the path is closed. Anna Cencioso: I’m so glad you said that, Fernette. My own son wasn’t remediated, and he’s a very successful adult. He did things his own way. The concern is that not every personality type can persevere like that. But I have to say, the dyslexic students I’ve worked with are some of the most persevering people I’ve ever met. They’ve always had to work harder, and they know how to overcome obstacles. Still, some kids aren’t wired that way. That’s why early screening is so important. Many parents say, “I’m dyslexic—I never knew until now.” And they’re attorneys, physicians, successful professionals. They just hope their kids have it a little easier. There are lots of successful dyslexics who were never remediated—Charles Schwab, Gavin Newsom, and many others. But we know about them because they’re visible. It might seem more common than it actually is. Mandy Hoff: I was intrigued by the statistic in the movie about self-made millionaires. I hadn’t heard that before. And yes, the Schwab Learning Center is endowed by Charles Schwab, who didn’t know he was dyslexic until his child was diagnosed at Stanford—where he also went. So it’s absolutely possible to thrive without early intervention. But supporting self-esteem from a younger age makes a huge difference. Yael Valek: I love this conversation. Let’s shift to the strength part of this discussion. Why is it critical to have a strength-based view of dyslexia? Fernette Eide: We believe the fundamental presentation of dyslexia is a strength. In our book, The Mislabeled Child, Brock came up with the “telescope” metaphor. Depending on which end you look through, you either see things in sharp focus or distorted. Dyslexia has a two-sided nature—strengths and challenges are often two sides of the same coin. Why focus on strengths? Because it’s all about strengths. Sometimes the challenges are what lead to breakthroughs. I coined the term “Einstein’s folly.” Early in his career, Einstein worked in a patent office, doing spatial-visual work. Later, he developed the theory of relativity. But he spent the rest of his life trying to prove things algebraically—focused on his weaknesses—and never had another breakthrough. If you’re someone who wants excellence, you can get stuck focusing on weaknesses and forget to nurture strengths. Remediation is important, but joy and mastery matter too. Strengths in childhood may differ from those in adulthood. A child might excel in sports or music, and that’s valuable. It may become an adult gift or simply a source of confidence. Anna Cencioso: For young kids, school is seven to eight hours a day, filled with reading and writing. It’s easy for them to focus on what’s not going well. Dyslexics may be musically talented, athletic, artistic, or great at 3D building. Exploring those strengths gives them a sense of identity and value—not just “I’m a terrible student.” These kids are movers and shakers. We want to support them so they can fulfill their potential. Parents can get frustrated when their child struggles with reading or writing. It’s natural to focus on those deficits. But kids also need to feel that their strengths matter—especially in their parents’ eyes. Parents are their mirror. Mandy Hoff: Many dyslexic students I’ve worked with are incredibly strong in higher-level thinking—like inferencing and getting the gist. Meanwhile, some kids decode perfectly but don’t understand a thing they’ve read. It’s all about framing. Strengths and weaknesses are intertwined. Focusing on strengths leads to better outcomes. Fernette Eide: In our book and movie, we talk about “MIND strengths”—Material reasoning, Interconnected reasoning, Narrative reasoning, and Dynamic reasoning. These clusters show up strongly in dyslexic learners. Verbal reasoning is often high in twice-exceptional kids. If you could design your brain, you’d want those higher-order thinking skills. Support the early ye ars, give it time, and things come together. The contrast between high intelligence and frustrating clerical skills—like transcription—is striking. These kids may show deep insights before school, then struggle with classroom tasks. It’s a strange profile, but it’s real. Anna Cencioso: That reminds me of math. Dyslexics who aren’t dyscalculic can grasp math concepts quickly. But if you ask them to show their work, they might get the wrong answer by the time they finish. They knew the answer, but the process tripped them up. There are so many strengths to celebrate. These kids don’t get celebrated enough. Fernette Eide: Agree. Yael Valek: So I’d like to move us to some of the audience questions, which tie into what we’ve been discussing. What do you do with your school? What should we ask for? How do you talk to teachers who don’t understand dyslexia—especially when your child is profoundly gifted and compensating so well that they’re still high-achieving? Teachers often don’t believe you. And what are some strength-based assessment tools, models, templates, or guides that teachers can use? Fernette Eide: There’s a free Mind Strengths screener at NeuroLearning that you can take. Brock has also quietly launched a new platform that ties together strengths and applies them to different types of curricula, mnemonics, and learning strategies. It’s part of the Dyslexic Minds community. People of all ages—from 7 to 70—can take the screener, and it generates personalized suggestions based on your strengths. It even includes a video library with hundreds of resources. Anna Cencioso: It can be really hard. Most classroom teachers don’t understand the complexity of twice-exceptional dyslexic students. Public schools are especially tough because teachers often lack practical experience with these learners. As parents, you have to advocate—and sometimes take on the support yourself. If your child is supposed to read a book, get the audiobook. Most 2E kids I know love audiobooks. It’s a way for them to access content that matches their intellectual level, even if they struggle with decoding. Mandy Hoff: When working with schools, start by assuming you’re a team. But also protect yourself—ask for things in writing and know your rights. Document everything. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Even if a teacher wants to help, it often comes down to the administration. So knowing your district’s policies and requesting accommodations formally is key. Fernette Eide: NeuroLearning also offers a more in-depth screener for about $80. It’s not a full comprehensive test, but it can identify stealth dyslexia by analyzing gaps between vocabulary and decoding. It generates a 15-page report and has been used by over 8,000 people—including at Stanford. It’s helped many families secure 504 plans and even some IEPs. There’s also a writing assistant built into the platform that helps parents draft letters for schools. IEP meetings can be intimidating, and this tool helps you articulate what you’re asking for. If you work with a tutor, bring them to the meeting—they can be a powerful advocate. And one more thing: that screener qualifies for Bookshare, which provides free electronic books for students with documented reading disabilities. It’s one of the few screeners that meets their criteria. Yael Valek: That’s incredibly helpful. And yes, the hope of the Dyslexic Advantage movie is to raise awareness and give parents and educators tools to support these learners. The film is expected to release in early October, and we’ll be hosting screenings. Final question before we wrap: Mandy, can you speak to supporting twice-exceptional dyslexic kids in high school? Most resources focus on younger kids, but older students struggle with reading volume, note-taking, and executive functioning. Mandy Hoff: Definitely. First, use the tools available. If Bookshare feels robotic, try Speechify—many students prefer it. Break reading and writing into manageable chunks. Teach executive functioning strategies like task segmentation and time management. Self-advocacy is huge in high school. Help students draft emails to teachers if assignments don’t align with their accommodations. If speaking in person is hard, writing can be a great alternative. Normalize using accommodations—compare them to wearing glasses. I tell students, “Would you expect me to read the board without my glasses?” They get it. Accommodations aren’t cheating—they’re tools for equity. Yael Valek: Thank you all so much. This was an amazing conversation. We hope to continue it, especially when we screen Fernette’s movie. If anyone wants to connect with our panelists, let us know—we’re happy to facilitate. Anna Cencioso: Thank you. It was great to get together. Fernette Eide: Thank you—this was a lot of fun.

Do you have a question you’d like the column to answer? You can email asklucy@reel2e.org . My autistic 2e teenager is highly resistant to changing his ways of doing things. I've encouraged him to write down important events in his calendar, but he won't because he "doesn't need to" (even though he inevitably forgets). His inbox has nearly 4,000 messages because he refuses to delete or archive emails. Whenever I try to talk to him about this stuff, we end up in a tug-of-war. Is there a way to start these conversations without him shutting down? Oh, I know this pattern well. I've observed it in my students as well as in myself. I call it the "no reflex." This term was originally coined  by the autistic blogger Cynthia Kim to describe the instinctive "no" that arises in reaction to something new. I love this coinage because it captures a critical feature of this rigidity: it's reflexive. We're not talking about a thoughtful, reasoned, based-on-a-balanced-examination-of-the-facts "no." It's an immediate, unequivocal, uttered-before-the-question-is-done-being-asked "no." Start a conversation about the no reflex. Make it casual and non-judgmental “I read an interesting blog post about how some neurodivergent/autistic people have this ‘no reflex,’ where it’s really tough to switch gears and try something new. Do you relate to that at all?” Of course, someone with an active “no reflex” will likely answer no to a question about said reflex. If that’s the response, don’t push back, but do consider sharing more information or circling back. Validate This advice might sound counterintuitive at first glance. Why validate something you're trying to change? Here's the thing, though: validation isn't about agreeing with a thought. It's about recognizing and acknowledging the emotional experience behind it. You can do this by: “This seems like one of those no reflex moments. I know it’s hard to switch gears when you’re used to doing things a certain way.” (said with a smile) “You look pretty exasperated, which is totally fair, since we’ve been over this before.” “I’m guessing it’s annoying to have this conversation again. I totally get that. I do think it might be worth talking about this, though…Is it okay if I share a couple of ideas, and then we can be done? It’s worth mentioning that when a kid (or teen) resists a task, something about it usually feels aversive or threatening. If we push back against this resistance, we risk strengthening it and solidifying the pattern of avoidance. If, however, we acknowledge and validate their feelings, we can lessen their perceived need to defend themselves and open the door for further conversation. Model flexible thinking There's nothing as ironic as a rigid attempt to promote flexibility. If you want your kid to acknowledge their mistakes, you should do so, too. (And if, like me, you're writing blog posts about it, you definitely  need to.) Notice when you're wrong. Point it out. Laugh at yourself if you can. Use yourself as an example: "Remember how I was sure that [...], and then I learned that...?" This type of comment helps communicate that changing your mind is a virtue, not a sign of defeat, and that you're not singling your child out. Everyone benefits from greater flexibility. Start with, “I wonder…” I like this formulation because it’s casual and non-threatening. It allows you to plant seeds and encourages the other person to explore a new approach independently. It also makes room for the possibility that you’re wrong–see above about modeling flexibility. “I wonder how other neurodivergent high schoolers manage their schedules/stay on top of email.” “I wonder if using folders in your inbox could make it easier to check email.” “I wonder if we could try using a shared family calendar for important dates.” Plan for a marathon, not a sprint Rigidity rarely vanishes overnight. You’re looking for a gradual loosening of thought patterns, not an immediate transformation. Going too quickly will typically exacerbate the no reflex, but if you focus on planting seeds and creating curiosity, you can lay the foundation for a more reflective, less reflexive way of being. I’m a junior in high school, and I’ve been having a really hard time with writing assignments. I can’t make myself get started, and as I procrastinate, the task looms bigger and bigger and fills me with dread. Is this an ADHD thing? And what should I do about it? I want to start by commending you for your self-awareness and insight. You’ve made a valuable observation—and that’s the first step to solving the problem. That self-awareness will serve you as you test out strategies and work toward a solution. In response to the first part of your question, I can tell you that anecdotally, this is certainly common in ADHD, though it’s not exclusively an ADHD phenomenon. You’re describing a struggle with task initiation, which falls under the umbrella of executive functioning issues that characterize ADHD. It’s also common for these challenges to arise as academic workloads increase. What to do, then? There are a few different angles to approach this problem from… Angle #1: Addressing expectations Our beliefs and expectations about a task play a significant role in our decision to get started (or not). Educational psychologists describe this using a framework called expectancy value theory. According to this theory, our motivation to do something depends on two questions:  What outcome do I expect? Am I capable of doing this? (That’s the expectancy part.) Is this task worth doing? (That’s the value part.) It sounds like you’re highly motivated to do these tasks, so you do see value in them. It’s the first part, the   In my experience, writing-induced dread is often fueled by our expectations and beliefs, which commonly include: This is going to be really hard. I can’t do this. This will be unpleasant and maybe even intolerable. These thoughts aren’t entirely off-base. Of course, writing can be hard and stressful–otherwise, you wouldn’t avoid it. Nonetheless, overly negative thinking isn’t fully reflective of reality, and by correcting cognitive distortions, we can shift to a more productive mindset: I’ll feel so much better when I get this done. I can do hard things. If I keep practicing, writing will get easier. I’ll take it one step at a time. It can also be helpful to write down how difficult you expect a task to be before you do it, then record the actual difficulty after. (I use a scale of 0 to 5 for this.) You might discover a discrepancy between expectations and reality, and this insight can help you adjust your beliefs.   Angle 2: Tackling open-endedness. Another common cause of procrastination is not knowing where to start. Writing assignments can be overwhelmingly open-ended, leading to decision paralysis and panic. If you’re not sure what to do first, here are some ideas: Set a timer—a psychological trick; something about this makes it easier. Gather all the materials you need in one place. Sometimes, just looking at your notes and readings can spark ideas. Use this handy ultimate writing assignment checklist  I made to map out the process. Try expressing your thoughts in a different medium: record yourself talking and feed it to transcription software, draw ideas on a whiteboard or post-it notes, make a mind map, or talk it through with a teacher/friend/tutor/parent.   Angle 3: Skill learning. Getting started is a skill; if you practice it effectively, you’ll improve. The key is to practice consistently, not just when you need the skill. Think about it this way: if you were learning to surf, you wouldn’t jump on your board, paddle into the ocean, and wait for a giant wave. You’d start small and work your way up instead. Similarly, regularly practicing initiating mildly unpleasant tasks can prepare you for big challenges. Any advice for teenagers/young adults who struggle with staying on top of email? Email is a huge executive functioning challenge! It’s an ongoing commitment rather than a discrete task, and it engages every EF skill, from organizing to prioritization to flexibility. Here are some of my favorite tips and strategies. Make it a habit. Set aside a regular time to do email, and budget more time than you think you’ll need. A place for everything and everything in its place. This maxim of home organizing is also relevant to email. Having a specific place for each type of message can reduce decision fatigue and simplify email management.  Break it down. Checklists can help turn the vague, unstructured notion of “checking email” into a series of actionable steps: Scan inbox and delete spam Star messages that require responses Snooze messages that won’t be relevant until later Use labels to categorize messages Update the checklist as you go.  This way, you reduce working memory load and minimize the risk of forgetting something important. Keep a running document with email rules and templates. I sent about a million versions of the same “May I come to office hours?” email in college. It never occurred to me to write down one script and refer back to it, but I would have saved a lot of time and effort that way. Autistic teenagers and young adults might find it especially helpful to note social rules related to email. Experiment with AI. Lately, I’ve been asking Grammarly to generate a few versions of an email I’m struggling to write. I almost never use one of those versions in its entirety, but I think through the phrasing of each option and ask myself what sounds natural.  Do you have a question you’d like the column to answer? You can email asklucy@reel2e.org . About Lucy: I graduated from Stanford in 2024 with a degree in psychology and Slavic Studies. I currently live in Boston and work as a writing tutor with a focus on supporting 2e/neurodivergent students. I've been involved in the neurodiversity world since I was diagnosed with autism at age 18. I hope to pursue a PhD in psychology and develop evidence-based interventions to help neurodivergent students write. For tutoring inquiries, please check out my website !