Seeing Our Kids Through a Strengths-Based Lens

As parents and educators, we have traditionally been trained to look at our neurodivergent  children through a deficits-based lens, focusing more on what they struggle with than on the  unique strengths and cognitive abilities that can contribute to their personal growth and success.  In part, that’s because it’s easier to see what’s difficult. We know when reading or focus is hard  for our children. We see the frustration that comes with having difficulty managing transitions or  emotions. But when that’s the narrative children hear about themselves, it can quietly shape  how they see who they are and what they’re capable of. 

But every neurodivergent child also brings a unique brain, unique abilities, and unique ways of  thinking about the world. A strengths-based lens starts with the question: What is already  working for this child? 

That then challenges us to think about how we can build from there. 

When we intentionally notice and use a child’s strengths, something powerful happens. Kids  experience success, start to feel capable, develop a stronger sense of who they are and start to  notice what they’re good at. That sense of competence fuels motivation, confidence, and  engagement.

What A Strengths-Based Approach Really Means

A strengths-based approach to supporting our children doesn’t mean ignoring challenges. It  simply means we don’t start with them. At its core, strengths-based learning and support  means weaving a child’s strengths into how they learn and how they show what they know. 

Often, a strengths-based approach is interpreted to mean “interest-based learning.” But that is  only one form of strengths-based support. Interests absolutely matter, but learning strengths go  far beyond hobbies or favorite topics. They include how a child thinks, processes, notices,  connects, builds, remembers, analyzes, creates, or focuses. 

For neurodivergent kids, using strengths isn’t just encouraging, it’s often an accommodation.  When learning is connected to what a child does well, it becomes more accessible, which  increases the likelihood of success. 

In neurodiversity-affirming environments, supporting the whole child means helping them  develop skills while also protecting their sense of self. A child might struggle in one area and be  exceptionally strong in another. For example, a dyslexic student might find reading exhausting  but have an incredible ability to visualize, design, or build. In a school setting, using visuals,  hands-on projects, or creative formats, can create a bridge that allows the child’s strengths to  support growth.

Why Neurology Justifies Strengths-Based Support 

Lots of kids are able to focus and direct their attention to whatever task they are being asked to  complete, whether or not they are interested in it. They comply with requests because they  know they are expected to do so, and they have the self-regulation skills to initiate tasks and  complete them. 

Many neurodivergent kids can’t do that in the same way, not because they don’t care, but  because their brains process motivation differently. Brain chemistry and brain wiring influence  attention, reward, and effort. This means many neurodivergent learners are deeply motivated by  what is meaningful, interesting, or stimulating to them and far less motivated by tasks that feel  disconnected or unrewarding. 

That’s not a question of character. It’s a matter of neurology. 

When learning is built around strengths, it works with a child’s brain instead of constantly  fighting against it. Strengths-based supports give kids an entry point into learning that feels  doable and from there, skills can grow. 

Starting With Strengths 

The adage “A rising tide lifts all boats” provides a compelling analogy for strengths-based  approaches. Just as the rising tide makes all boats ascend uniformly, leveraging a student’s  existing strengths—their personal “rising tide”—can help uplift and support their weaker areas.  When you lift what’s already strong, other areas can rise with it. 

This approach doesn’t only support individual growth, it also champions the diverse ways each  child thinks and learns, celebrating their unique potential. 

In practice, this means adults first identify what a child is good at and then use that as the  foundation. If a student loves creative writing, that strength can become the place to practice  planning, organizing, revising, and self-monitoring. Executive functioning skills don’t live in  isolation, they grow best inside meaningful work. 

Many neurodivergent kids understand skills— in theory. They can explain social rules,  emotional strategies, or organizational systems. But using those skills in real life is much harder.  Strengths-based support can help close that gap. When kids practice skills inside activities they  care about, like robotics club, art, gaming, animals, storytelling, or design, the learning sticks.

Strengths Don’t Always Look Like “School Strengths”

Many neurodivergent kids have large discrepancies in their abilities. If you were to look at a  profile of one child’s areas of strengths and difficulties, it would look like a mountain range with  large peaks and valleys. The goal of strengths-based support is not to flatten those differences,  but to use the peaks as support structures for the valleys 

A strengths-based lens starts with the question: What is already  working for this child? One of the most  important shifts for parents and educators is realizing that strengths are not always the things  schools typically reward. The strengths of neurodivergent learners are as diverse as they are. 

Strengths may include: 

● intense focus on specific topics 

● noticing details others miss 

● thinking in pictures 

● craving routine or novelty 

● seeing big patterns 

● using language in advanced or unusual ways 

● thinking very literally 

● building complex systems 

● solving problems logically 

● immersing deeply in passions 

The next step is learning to notice these less-traditional strengths, understand what they can  look like in everyday life, and use them to support learning, confidence, and development.  These may not show up as high grades, neat work, or quiet behavior. But they are real,  meaningful strengths. When adults recognize them, value them, and use them intentionally,  they become powerful tools for growth. 

Adapted from Neurodiversity-Affirming Schools: Transforming Practices So All Students Feel  Accepted and Supported by Amanda Morin and Emily Kircher-Morris (Free Spirit Publishing,  2025)