Self-criticism, negative self talk and perfectionism… What can we do about it? Have you ever heard your child say things like this? “I’m so dumb. I’m so bad.” “It’s not good enough. I’m not good enough.” “I can’t believe I did that. I hate myself.” These kinds of thoughts come in so many different variations and are more common than we think. So many of us struggle with being incredibly hard on ourselves and speaking unkindly to ourselves. For a lot of 2e kids, they can often really struggle with perfectionism as well as being frustrated by the discrepancy of how much they know vs what they are able to show in school. This can lead to a lot of self-criticism and negative self-talk. In this blog post, I am going to share some ways to support your child with these specific challenges. As a recovering perfectionist, this topic is near and dear to my heart. I was incredibly hard on myself and my self-talk was not kind. While I did have almost perfect grades for my entire school career, my internal world was a mess to say the least. So many of the children and teens that I have supported over the years have struggled with self criticism, perfectionism and low self esteem often in part because they receive messages from school that they aren’t measuring up.  One thing that helped me with my own journey was discovering Self-Compassion and watching Kristin Neff’s TED talk.   I highly recommend checking out this TED talk if you or your child struggles with self-criticism or perfectionism. It is a great starting point. So when I had to choose a thesis topic as a graduate student in educational therapy, I chose Self-Compassion in Education because I saw the power of self-compassion in my own life. After completing my thesis and years of practice of self-compassion, I still don’t have it down perfectly but I definitely feel a lot better in myself. I also see meaningful transformation in the lives of the kids that I share it with. I have had kids share with me that they stopped hitting themselves after making mistakes after we discussed ways to practice self-compassion and I have also seen teens choose much kinder ways to treat themselves. One of the key takeaways of my thesis was that you cannot teach and pass on self-compassion to children if you do not practice it yourself.  My best advice is to start with yourself. Modeling self-compassion can go a very long way. There’s much more to share than I can in this blog post, but I created this list of questions below that can serve as a great starting point to start cultivating a kinder and more self-compassionate way to treat yourself.  I’m going to list my own answers in italics, but I encourage you to go through and explore your own answers. And if it would be a good fit for your child, maybe share some of these questions with the kids in your life too for them to explore. Does saying mean things to myself help me achieve being perfect all the time?   Nope.  Is it possible to be perfect all the time?   This one seems obvious, I know. But it took me a very long time to realize the answer is no. And that if the game I’m playing is to never make mistakes, I will always lose.  Do I have to believe everything I think?   No, I have personally found self-critical thoughts will still arise but now the difference is that I don’t believe or identify with them. When I have self-critical thoughts, I have learned to watch and observe them and not take them as truth. Mindfulness has really helped me with this! Is there a feeling underneath the mean things that I’m saying to myself that needs to be felt?   Usually yes. And seeing, feeling and validating that feeling usually works better than ignoring it or pushing it away. I have found that the uncomfortability of feeling a feeling never lasts forever.  What does that feeling need?  For me, the answer is usually care and kindness. Kristin Neff suggests that a simple gesture like putting your hand on your heart can make a big difference. I agree! What if I talked to myself the way I would to talk to a friend? I would be 1000% nicer. We are often so much meaner to ourselves than we would talk to a friend or even someone we don’t really know. Kristin Neff suggests talking to ourselves like we would to a friend. Will I do this whole self compassion/being nice to myself thing perfectly?   Nope, and that’s 100% okay. With consistency (not perfection), things usually get better in time. Progress, not perfection. Try out these questions and see how they land!  Lastly, I’m going to leave you with some inspiration! These cards have messages of self-compassion and normalizing mistakes. They were created by girls and their wisdom shines through the art and the writing. They are part of a for-girls by-girls card deck that I created with a group of girls in the Bay Area. You can look at the art and read these by yourself and/or read them with your child and see what they think! It’s okay to make mistakes. Perfect is for robots, not people. Mistakes are normal. Don’t be afraid of failure, experiencing failure is part of life. Even just trying is much better than not trying at all. It might feel tough when you make a mistake but the feeling won’t last forever. Imperfection is okay and totally normal, remember that it’s impossible to be absolutely perfect. Perfect is for robots, not people. Be kind to yourself  This card is a reminder to give yourself permission to be kind to yourself. Give yourself credit for how far you have come and always treat yourself with compassion. You are the person you talk to the most in your mind, so make sure they are nice words. Be kind to yourself, then go and fill the world with your kindness! I hope that this article has given you some new ideas to support your child! Please feel free to reach out to me at Nicole@nicoleconnell.com  if you have any questions. Nicole Connell is an educational therapist, mentor and  personal learning fairy godmother for kids and teens who learn best outside the box. She works 1:1 and also leads empowering girls groups. Learn more: www.nicoleconnell.com ..

Dear REEL community, This fall has been an especially busy season for REEL. We have presented at numerous conferences, including Stanford’s Neurodiversity Summit, Santa Clara County’s Inclusion Collaborative Conference, and the Twice-Exceptional Teacher Education Conference at Cleveland State University. We also helped many local public and private schools kick off the school year with educator workshops focused on increased awareness and robust support for neurodivergent learners. We’ve hosted notable experts in our Expert Speaker Series and have many more exciting events planned! To learn more about the impact we’ve had in the past year, please check out our 2023-2024 Impact Report . Our REEL board meetings always start off with sharing meaningful mission moments. I’ve had several of those over these past few months, a few of which I’d like to share with you. The first came at a recent professional development workshop where a parent asked me, “How do you convince a family member or friend that our children’s differences are real, and that they should be taken seriously? How do you respond when they say, ‘In my day, we just had to follow rules. All these options are just excuses. Teachers aren’t strict enough anymore, that’s the problem’?” As the holidays and increased time with family approach, I imagine this question is on many people’s minds, and so I’d like to share my answer with all of you: I will address this question in two parts. First, let’s talk about the necessity of options and flexibility for all learners. If I could highlight one key point, it’s that accommodations are not cheating. Accommodations are merely options for all that enable us to be most successful at any given moment. Everyone can benefit from choices and options, and flexibility does not lower standards. Instead, by being mindful of our goals and providing options which enable students to be most successful in pursuit of those goals, we create pathways for students to achieve their best. When we only offer accommodations to some students, we are implicitly inviting a culture of inequality. However, if we acknowledge that all of us need different things at different times, and we offer those options to everyone, we are acknowledging that our differences are all valid and valued. Take these two examples: Offer fidgets to everyone in the class. Explain why some people find them useful for concentration. Explain how they can sometimes be misused. Discuss the boundaries for productive and unproductive fidget use, and then make them available to everyone. Should a student become unproductive with a fidget, they can no longer use it at that time. But any student that would benefit and should be able to have access to that benefit. Offer audiobook options to all students in the class. Unless the goal of the lesson is to teach the skill of reading words on a page, listening to a book to receive its information is no better or worse than reading a book; it is simply a different input modality. Some students may prefer - as adults often do - to occasionally listen to books while completing chores at home, or while commuting. They may prefer to listen at an accelerated or or decelerated speed. Other times they may choose to read the words on paper while snuggled in bed or at their desk with a highlighter. Providing these options to all gives students agency to pick what works best for them at different times and in different situations, without stigma. The second part of my response is much broader. ‘Back in the day,’ some students succeeded in class. Others ‘got by’ and did okay. And quite a few were left behind. We can do better. The world has hard problems and we need everyone’s help to make progress. A diversity of perspectives and approaches is invaluable. The job of educators - and the responsibility of all of humanity - is to help everyone achieve their potential. We can achieve this by acknowledging and honoring the value each individual brings to the community. The DEAR REEL model that we released earlier this year provides practical strategies for working with neurodivergent and 2e kids at school. If you missed our October 28th presentation that walked through the model, I encourage you to watch and share it with educators in your community. Often the primary pushback we get when working with educators is the struggle they have with finding the time to make changes to their curricula. While they acknowledge that they want to help all learners, they feel constrained by multiple competing demands on their time. It is true that making modifications and adding flexible options to an existing curriculum takes time. Connecting with students takes time. Looking for the underlying, unseen causes behind behaviors is more challenging than simply addressing what’s in front of you. However, all of this extra time spent will pay dividends. At the Twice-Exceptional Teacher Education Conference, Dr. Claire Hughes recounted a story which serves as a powerful example of how spending some time up front can save time and headaches later. One year as she began to teach a class of middle school students, she sat down and called the parents of every one, and simply told them each something positive about their child. She called one particular mom and told her, “I just want to let you know, I really enjoy having Jake in my class! He is so funny - his sense of humor adds a lot to our class discussions!” The mom waited a moment, and said, “But…?” Dr. Hughes replied, “There’s no ‘but,’ that’s it - I just wanted to let you know I’m enjoying having him in my class.” The mom was stunned. She had never had a phone call from a teacher which was anything but negative, and she had gotten those calls a lot. From that point forward, that mom knew this teacher was on her team. Teacher, parent, and student now had a productive relationship. Time spent calling each parent was reaped through smoother, more positive interactions throughout the school year. Educators - know that you don’t have to do it all at once. Start small. Add a flexible option to an assignment. Present and offer a single new accommodation to the class. Experiment with one new way of connecting with your students or their parents. Iterate. Next semester, try adding one more new thing. One of my favorite examples of doing this comes from Dr. Carol Tomlinson, in a lesson she teaches on differentiation . In the example poetry lesson (starting at minute 10:40), she walks through 3 revisions to this unit which a teacher made over 3 years. It’s an incredible evolution of a unit which improves incrementally - and in a manageable way for the teacher - to provide more differentiation, preference, and choice. Parents - acknowledge the wins. Thank your teachers. Celebrate your student’s progress, their effort, their success. And know that you are making a difference through your involvement, your passion, and your commitment for both your own children and for those who follow on the path you’ve blazed.   Your child sees you. Your student sees you. Together, we enable everyone to achieve their potential. Abby Kirigin, Ed.D. Executive Director, REEL PS - It’s donation campaign season! Please consider a donation to REEL and help our community achieve potential together.

Hi! My name is Pravin; I am 16 years old and am incredibly passionate about neurodiversity advocacy. Over the last four years, I have had the opportunity to collaborate on my advocacy work with people around the world and hear so many new perspectives as I continue to pursue my work. During the summer of 2023, I participated in Stanford’s esteemed SNP-REACH program, an international program dedicated to teaching neurodiversity advocacy to youth leaders. In SNP-REACH, I had the incredible opportunity to foster my passion for neurodiversity advocacy by publishing a photojournal with a team of neurodiversity advocates. Our photo journal, Through the Neurodiverse Lens , educates others about neurodiversity through an interactive and informative lens of interviews, misconceptions, creative spotlights, and more. Contrary to the traditional approach of lengthy articles, our photojournal is designed with everyone in mind by focusing on telling stories through a combination of words, photos, and artwork. In our interview section, we strived to get a diverse variety of input from fellow neurodiverse peers along with a professional insight from Dr. Fung, director of the Stanford Neurodiversity Project. We also tackled common misconceptions about different neurodiverse conditions and highlighted the overlooked talents of neurodiverse individuals in our creative spotlight! The unique lens of developing a photojournal capturing the neurodiverse perspective allowed us to present at Stanford’s International Neurodiversity Summit, where we spread awareness of our advocacy initiative to an international audience. I am so incredibly happy with the work we have done with the photojournal and will continue to do by using the photojournal as an educational platform to raise awareness on the neurodiverse experience. We really hope to publish more editions and continue working on this initiative to spread awareness into the neurodiverse perspective. Please feel free to take a look at the attached link of our first edition and reach out if you have any questions, comments, or feedback. First Edition: https://online.fliphtml5.com/dxqaf/luge/#p=1 Website: https://sites.google.com/view/through-the-lens-photojournal/home

There are so many benefits to reading with our young children. Of course, we have heard that reading stories makes them more likely to develop advanced vocabularies, show higher reading comprehension, and become avid readers as they grow. Who wouldn’t want that?  Lin Lim and I recently wrote a book titled Using Picture Books to Help Little Ones Learn About Themselves . While we acknowledge the proven academic benefits of reading, we focus most of our attention on the social and emotional benefits of connecting with young children through shared reading time. Lin and I both have several 2e teenagers at home, and we acknowledge that it has been and continues to be a challenging parenting journey. But our deep connection with our teens gives us strength when challenging times come. In Using Picture Books , we examine how parents and teachers of young children can address “tricky topics” such as perfectionism, worry, and accepting differences in themselves and others by reading wonderful picture books with engaging characters who struggle a bit too. Even young children can often see themselves in these engaging characters as they cuddle up in a safe space with their parents. This is true for young children in a classroom as well. When students feel safe and seen within their classroom community, these books can be used to address challenges that arise. It is less threatening or scary for children to talk about the challenges of a character in a story than to discuss these feelings in themselves.  As a veteran teacher, I can assure you that it is much easier to work with a worried five-year-old than a school-avoidant, anxiety-filled fifteen-year-old. “Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” Swedish Proverb “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wilde “One of the greatest gifts adults can give - to their offspring and to their society - is to read to children.” Carl Sagan Our intention in writing this book for parents was to provide a curated list of over forty picture books to read that will promote a strong connection with their children. Additionally, the strategies in our book have been chosen based on the most recent research in the field, and we make this information easy and quick to read since we know parents of young children are extremely busy. Here are a few of our recommendations: The Big Umbrella by Amy June Bates - This lovely story is told by a warm-hearted red umbrella who expands to shelter others no matter what. Parents will love this story of inclusion, while children will enjoy the kind message. Red by Michael Hall - A blue crayon wearing a red label grows up believing he is red, but he struggles to draw like a red crayon. He feels like a failure until a new friend asks him to draw blue things, and he can’t believe how easy and fun it is to create blueberries and oceans! When he focuses on his strengths, he feels happy and successful. Children will love the absurdity of the story. There’s No Such Thing as a Dragon by Jack Kent - This is a timeless classic about a boy who sees a small dragon in his house, but the adults assure him it is not there. As the boy continues to ignore the dragon, he grows bigger, and the dragon picks up the house and carries it down the street. When the little boy acknowledges the dragon, it shrinks back to its small size, and they live happily ever after. Adults and children will enjoy the metaphor for anxiety in the form of a dragon. These are just a few examples of charming picture books that we recommend that address those “tricky topics.”  Our book will help you feel less alone in your parenting journey as Lin and I also include some of the antics of our own neurodivergent children along the way! Lin and I recently attended a webinar to discuss our new book. I invited my father from Virginia since the event was virtual, and I knew he was interested in our discussion. Near the end of our talk, I asked him how he felt about our thoughts on connection through reading. He paused a moment and then sadly admitted that, as a single father, he wished he had read with my sister and me more often when we were younger. I quickly pointed out that my sister and I were both avid readers and that our close connection with him came from the love of music that we shared. Every night for many years, my father and I played trombone-clarinet duets together, and we performed professionally in my teen years. I assured him that reading is merely one way to promote a deep connection with our children - music and other activities are another.  Speaking now as a parent whose 19-year-old son is moving away tomorrow to start his first job as a software engineer, I can promise that the days may go by slowly, but the years fly by. Spend quality time building those close connections through reading or another activity, and together, you and your children will reap the benefits in spades when times are smooth and when challenges arise.  ------------- The Bentley Center was founded by Gayle Bentley to provide support and education for gifted and twice-exceptional children and their families. She has taught in the public school system since 1999 and holds a doctoral degree in cognitive diversity in education. Gayle serves on the boards of the California Association of the Gifted (CAG) and Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted (SENG) and regularly presents clinics at state and national conferences about gifted education and twice-exceptionality. She recently published her first book with Dr. Lin Lim, Using Picture Books to Help Little Ones Learn About Themselves. As the mother of three amazing neurodivergent sons, Gayle understands this journey. Her empathy for parents, as they seek an individualized “best fit” for their children’s educational needs and behavioral challenges, led to the development of The Bentley Center.

“REEL educating the larger Bay Area community on 2e topics is also key. Raising bright neurodivergent children in a community that understands them would be the biggest gift we could give all of our 2e families. Thank you for your work, it’s making a difference .” - REEL Parent We need to make an impact, because the problem is immense and the pressure to reach kids NOW is imperative. The U.S. Surgeon General’s advisories on the mental health of parents and youth is an urgent call to action for community groups for change. A recent study showed that autistic/2e children are 5x more likely to contemplate suicide. Increasingly, understanding neurodivergence is recognized as important and yet our educators don’t feel they have the resources or knowledge to support neurodivergent and 2e learners successfully. In fact, our recent educator survey showed that only 1 in 4 educators reported having received professional development on supporting twice-exceptional students and their needs, yet 98% of educators said they would find it helpful.

Twice-exceptional (2e) students have complex learning profiles. They have high potential or ability in academic, creative, or leadership spheres and at least one diagnosed learning difference such as dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, autism, or ADHD. Their strengths and challenges are interwoven, making it difficult to address their needs across all aspects of their lives—educational, social-emotional, and cognitive. 1 Unfortunately, most locales do not have schools solely dedicated to 2e students. Even if an area does have a 2e school, parents still need to evaluate whether it will work for their child, since each child’s needs will be unique. Finding the right school for a 2e child is a frequent challenge. Through our work at REEL, we have heard stories from parents and educators in our community support groups about children who refused to go to school, sometimes by hiding in the closet. Other children melted down after school as a result of masking their struggles all day. Some manifested anxiety physically through skin picking and finger biting. As one parent shared, “Our son had a teacher who just wasn’t able to meet the needs of kids who were different. Our son’s self-esteem plummeted rapidly.” Given all of this, what do parents of 2e children do to find a successful educational fit? What lessons have parents in our community shared about their experiences? Will a School for Gifted Learners Work? Researchers have noted that educators often emphasize 2e students’ weaknesses over their strengths. 2 For this reason, parents of 2e students often wonder if a gifted school might be a place for their child—after all, those schools might appear to meet their child’s intellectual needs and be a place where their strengths can be celebrated. However, the answer is more complicated and depends on the specific school and the specific child. Some gifted programs are designed for high-ability, fast-processing students who can move rapidly through content. If the 2e child is a slow processor or has challenges with working memory, this may not be the ideal place for them. Other gifted programs emphasize creativity and exploration, which can be a great fit for a 2e learner, but these programs may cater to self-directed, self-motivated learners, which may not align with the 2e child’s profile. Some gifted programs allow for asynchronicity between subjects, while others will expect a high level of performance across the board. Bottom line—it depends! What About a Specialty School? Sometimes schools that support a 2e student’s learning differences will be a better option. For instance, for students with dyslexia, some schools provide specialized reading and writing instruction catered to them; schools for autistic learners will put a special emphasis on environmental considerations. These schools’ ability to support a 2e student’s strengths varies and should be evaluated in relation to what parents expect the school to provide versus what they can strengthen and support outside the classroom. Is Private or Public School Better? Private schools often are a tempting option for parents of 2e students, and can be the best fit for some students. But sometimes a public school is really the right place, especially since they are required by law to support kids with learning differences. As one parent in our community noted, after a string of up-and-down experiences with teachers in private schools, her son switched to public school for part of third and all of fourth grades. Her son’s fourth-grade teacher “blew away my stereotypes about public school not necessarily being a fit for a kid like this.” However, while the public school was better able to address her son’s ADHD challenges, she said that the school wasn’t as well-equipped to differentiate the curriculum. She felt that the differentiation potential is generally better with private schools. Our best advice? Because many private schools offer generous financial aid packages, don’t rule out a private school that may be right for a 2e child simply because of the cost. Explore a variety of schools and have lots of conversations with administrators, teachers, and admissions officers at both public and private schools. Evaluate local public schools alongside private school options and consider the best option for the individual child’s and family’s needs. What Do Research and Experience Tell Us? Research in the field of twice-exceptionality, along with our personal experiences and those of the families in our REEL community, confirm that successful schools for 2e learners require intentional design. Dr. Susan Baum, Chancellor of Bridges Graduate School and a leader in twice-exceptional education, and her colleagues suggest five essential environmental elements that must be addressed for a 2e learner to thrive— social , emotional , intellectual , creative , and physical . 3 Other researchers reinforce school-based approaches that support 2e students, which include teacher attributes, educator preparation, school structure and culture, curriculum flexibility, and a strength-based approach. 4 The DEAR REEL Model At REEL, we have combined these best-practice research findings with detailed, first-hand parent experiences into our “DEAR REEL” model that delineates four critical considerations for parents and educators in their work with 2e children. As always, when researching schools, it is critical to consider which elements are most important to the individual child’s success. Delineate “must haves” and “nice-to-haves,” remembering that there is no perfect fit option. Four critical considerations when working with 2e students are: 1. Develop Connection It’s essential to find a school that places kindness and empathy at the center of their core values, where teachers foster love and belonging. Kind, patient, enthusiastic, and accepting teachers who honor 2e children as whole people and learners are the key to success. Teachers and students should have an appreciation for differences and feel empowered to be themselves. When 2e students feel safe, teachers can encourage productive risk-taking. 2. Embrace Flexible and Creative Options Twice-exceptional students do better when schools provide high challenge and low-threat opportunities, as well as choice in how they show what they know. Parents of 2e learners often prefer schools that have flexibility built into their cultures so that children can accelerate in areas of strength and receive support in areas in which they are challenged. Within this flexible approach, teachers may integrate and foster more opportunities for creativity, a core strength of many 2e learners. In addition, parents tell us they value environments that honor children’s need for varying amounts of time to complete assignments, take breaks, or receive learning interventions. 3. Accentuate and Nurture Strengths, Interests, and Talents Educators and parents must focus on developing and nurturing the strengths of 2e students. Twice-exceptional students need opportunities to pursue challenging coursework that interests them, offers choice, and provides space and time for talent identification and enrichment. 5 While many 2e students will be given accommodations such as extra time to complete assignments, pull-out tutoring, or 1:1 support, it’s important these supports not come at the expense of time spent on things that the students are good at and enjoy. 4. Reframe Challenging or Confusing Behaviors It’s essential that schools understand that when students act out or shut down they are trying to communicate a need. A 2e learner will thrive better when the adults understand and reframe behaviors rather than punish them. Often, these behaviors manifest from a poor fit with the school’s physical environment. Twice-exceptional children benefit from environments that consider individual sensory needs, including frequent breaks, fidgets, alternative seating, lighting, and opportunities for movement/exercise throughout the day. Parents should look for a match between the child’s individual needs and the school environment. For example, some children with ADHD prefer a stimulating environment while others are more successful with very few distractions. Some children respond better in classrooms with abundant natural light and designated quiet spaces. The takeaway: A lot of behaviors that are labeled as “challenging” are actually the result of ways the school environment interacts with 2e kids’ sensitive and/or differently wired sensory systems. It’s essential to find a match between the child and the environment— and/or work with your school to offer flexible options that are a better match to the child’s sensory needs. Bringing It All Together We hope our DEAR REEL model helps parents get started on the search for a school for their 2e child. The parents in our community consistently agree that no single school will work for every child, much less every 2e child; it’s all about finding a school that is a good fit for each child and their family. (Often families with multiple siblings must find a different school for each child to meet their individual needs.) Don’t forget to include the child in the decision: What do they like? What would they like to change? Involving kids helps them learn self-advocacy, and having their buy-in during the school selection process is an important first step. And, selecting the best environment for any 2e child may be a fluid process—what works for the child this year may not be what works in the long term. For example, a dyslexic 2e child may switch schools several times depending on their literacy progress. While it’s tempting to search for the “perfect” school, ultimately parents may need to optimize educational choices based on the factors that are hardest for them to address at home, and then supplement in areas that the school is not able to support. For example, a family may select a school that best supports a child’s social skills, while opting to provide advanced math opportunities at home. In the end, whether parents decide to pursue public school, private school, or even homeschooling or unschooling, they should do what they can to find a place where their unique child can thrive and grow, excited to go to school every day. We hope each 2e learner finds the educational option that helps them get up and go! QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER IN CHOOSING A SCHOOL FOR A 2e CHILD When evaluating school fit, the following questions help ensure all bases are covered. Information to answer these questions may be gathered during school visits, shadow days, open houses, info sessions, website reviews, and networking with parents whose children attend the school. Gathering information for each category is crucial to gaining a more holistic view of the school’s ability to meet the needs of your 2e child. DEVELOP CONNECTION Do all students feel safe to participate in the classroom in a way that is comfortable for them? Do students display care for one another? Do the teachers and administrators speak about the students as whole children, or as success metrics and statistics? Do students seem confident enough to express their individuality? How is social-emotional learning integrated throughout the students’ day? Do teachers and administrators demonstrate a willingness to learn, grow, and change? EMBRACE FLEXIBLE AND CREATIVE OPTIONS Do students have choices in how they learn the material and show what they know? Does the teacher seem to encourage creative solutions to projects and problems? Does the teacher invite students to give their perspectives on topics? Does the classroom itself inspire a creative mindset, including art, desk arrangement, color, etc.? Is there a maker space on campus? How frequently do children have an opportunity to use it? ACCENTUATE AND NURTURE STRENGTHS, INTERESTS, AND TALENTS Are students asked about their strengths, interests, and talents, and are these woven in meaningful ways into the curriculum? Are students given pre-assessments, and are the results used to determine the appropriate curriculum starting point and level of challenge? How robust is the school’s enrichment and/or elective program? Do students miss classes they enjoy to work on remediation, or are interventions woven into the day so as not to detract from these opportunities to explore and grow in strength/interest areas? REFRAME CHALLENGING OR CONFUSING BEHAVIORS Are students using fidgets (without distracting others), and sitting in alternative chairs or seating? Are the students given frequent movement breaks? Are there distinct spaces in the classroom for quiet reflection, interest zones, movement areas, etc., and are all children encouraged to use them? How do teachers respond to unwanted behavior? Do they attempt to provide adaptive solutions to problems? Do they involve students in collaborative problem solving? Resources REEL's list of school options: https://www.reel2e.org/post/reel-2e-school-options REEL's 2e Toolkit: School Selection: https://www.reel2e.org/2e-topics/schoolselection TiLT Parenting School Listings. A list of schools around the world that may be a good fit for “differently wired” children. https://tiltparenting.com/schools-for-children-learning-disabilities/ Seed Starter Educational Consulting: support for parents researching school placement for their gifted and 2e children. www.facebook.com/SeedStarterEducationalConsulting GHF: Empowering Gifted Families. https://ghflearners.org Copyright notification Copyrighted by the National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC). This article first appeared (with minor modifications) in Parenting for High Potential, (December 2023), a publication of the National Association for Gifted Children, Washington, DC. Endnotes 1. Reis, S. M., Baum, S. M., & Burke, E. (2014). An operational definition of twice-exceptional learners: Implications and applications. Gifted Child Quarterly , 58 , 217–230. Cash, A. B. (1999). A profile of gifted individuals with autism: The twice‐exceptional learner. Roeper Review , 22 (1), 22–27. Willard-Holt, C., Weber, J., Morrison, K. L., & Horgan, J. (2013). Twice-exceptional learners’ perspectives on effective learning strategies. Gifted Child Quarterly , 57 , 247–262. 2. Gierczyk, M., & Hornby, G. (2021). Twice-exceptional students: Review of implications for special and inclusive education. Education Sciences, 11 (2), 85. Wu, I., Lo, C. O., & Tsai, K. (2019). Learning experiences of highly able learners with ASD: Using a success case method. Journal for the Education of the Gifted, 42 (3), 216–242. 3. Baum, S. M., Schader, R. M., & Owen, S. V. (2017). To be gifted and learning disabled . Routledge. 4. Gierczyk, M., & Hornby, G. (2021) Wu, I., Lo, C. O., & Tsai, K. (2019) 5. Reis, S. M., Gelbar, N. W., & Madaus, J. W. (2021). Understanding the academic success of academically talented college students with autism spectrum disorders. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 52, 4426–4439. https://rdcu.be/c7vv1

REEL is incredibly moved by the dedication of a local 8th grader in supporting our work. In the 2023-24 school year, Yaniv reached out to REEL to see if he could learn about our non-profit as part of a Avodah La'Olam (work for the world) Project at Hausner Jewish Day School. The project is a celebration of Tzedakah, a key Jewish value, which means social justice and righteous giving.  Yaniv selected REEL because his brother is autistic, and when his family tried to find resources to support him, they had trouble doing so. He wanted to help other families in the same situation find the resources and support they need. Yaniv interviewed us at REEL and learned the how and why of what we do. He then created a presentation for his school community to learn more about our organization. His final project culminated in a touching ceremony in which he shared why he chose REEL to research and receive a large donation of school collected funds. In his speech, Yaniv mentioned a fundamental principle in Judaism: “You shall love your fellow as yourself.” His group chose non-profits who help people who “are having a hard time being accepted” and are “lacking equal opportunities.” Yaniv mentioned that REEL “aims to create a bridge between educators and families of twice exceptional children… they provide education so these children can be included and accepted … and their families can understand them a little better. I chose this organization because they helped my family. My brother is autistic and I know how much impact REEL2e can have on just one family. ” His co-presenter shared, “These organizations promote acceptance and inclusion and relate to the Jewish value of Kavod Habriyot, treating everyone with dignity, even those who may be different from you. This world tends to exclude those they see as different… these organizations build up community instead. They give belonging to people who definitely deserve it. They show that even though they may be different, that in no way makes them less than.” REEL was amazed and honored to receive a check for almost $1,000 from Yaniv and his school community! Yaniv then blew us away AGAIN by also making us the organization he chose to honor at his Bar Mitzvah, contributing his gift money of almost $2,000 to REEL to further our programs. He wrote “I am donating this money to REEL2e in honor of my Bar Mitzvah. I hope this will help ‘twice-exceptional students thrive in school by raising parent and educator awareness.’”  We are so touched and inspired by Yaniv’s dedication to REEL. His support has fueled our team in our mission, not only financially, but also emotionally. Knowing we are having an impact on families and that the impact is seen by local youth whose lives are touched by neurodivergence propels us in our mission to support 2e students all the more. Thank you, Yaniv!

REEL recently hosted a learning differences simulation at a local independent school. After experiencing firsthand the struggles of students with learning differences and disabilities during REEL’s simulation , the staff engaged in an engrossing Q&A with a panel of the school’s students. Here are some of the insights their neurodivergent and disabled students shared about how schools can best support them. Part 1 explores their challenges and Part 2 explores helpful supports . What has been your experience at school as a person who identifies as neurodivergent or disabled? Students pointed out that teachers may not understand that they can be high achievers AND neurodivergent or disabled. It may appear that difficulty with assignments or emotional distress comes out of nowhere. One student said, “I qualify as disabled and neurodivergent. I’m a high achieving student. But then some external stress or factor comes out of nowhere and I ‘fail spectacularly.’ I don't anticipate that my needs aren’t being met until it’s happening and then I have trouble getting out of that situation. I’m still working on that!” Many students, especially girls, are not diagnosed until their teen years or later and so don’t fully understand their challenges. One student shared, “I was only diagnosed as neurodivergent in junior year. A short quiz in math led to a full-on panic attack in 7th grade. That kept happening and happening. OCD also manifested. If I lost my eraser, it was ‘game over.’ The likelihood is that many kids are not aware. Then when they realize, they feel they have to hide it.” Even after being diagnosed, some students still struggle with sharing their diagnosis and using their accommodations. A student pointed out, “I don’t always use the accommodations I’m offered. It feels odd sometimes to communicate what I need and what I don’t.” Some students do share their diagnosis, but feel it is misunderstood. One student described her frustration, “I have inattentive ADHD - but I hate that name. I don’t have a lack of attention - I have all  the attention! My focus is strong. It is hard for me to switch tracks - I have to fight with my focus to get it to do what it needs to be doing.” What are some challenges you have faced that may come as a surprise to teachers? Several students shared that teachers may be surprised at just how hard they are working behind the scenes to appear neurotypical or put together. One student commented, “What might be surprising, people might think I’m put together, doing fine, a straight A student. But there's a lot of masking. Neurodivergent students cover it up - they do have challenges even if they don’t show it all the time.”  Another student also mentioned masking, or using a lot of energy to cover up their neurodivergence and blend in: “I didn’t realize I was masking until I learned the word last year. I have tics, echolalia… I don’t want to offend the teacher and have students hear me, but I can’t help it. Eye contact is very difficult, but I know how to do it.” And lastly a student shared how much the energy to “do school” costs them, saying, “I’m overtaxed during the day. I’m missing out on life and the joy and meaning it could bring because I try so hard to do school.” Students also pointed out that self-advocacy takes a lot of effort. One student emphasized, “It’s scary to ask for accommodations - what if they don't give it to you? It’s such a relief when teachers take the lead, they approach us, they lead it. When a neurodivergent student asks for help, teachers should know that’s hard to do. They’re probably having more trouble than you realize. Please take that seriously, assume that it is more. Support them!” Another challenge that may surprise teachers is the exhaustion and taunting neurodivergent or disabled students face. As one pointed out, “I get so tired in comparison to others. What people don’t realize is that there is a lot of subtle discrimination. There is a lack of awareness of neurodivergence. People make jokes and everyone would laugh about it but it’s hurtful.” One student lamented, “People can get called out in class. I transposed 6 and 9 and my classmates laughed at me and my teacher didn’t redirect the class.” Many 2e students have developed workarounds for their challenges, but these eventually aren’t as effective as the work in higher grade levels becomes more challenging. One student recalled how teachers thought she had stopped trying: “Not having accommodations until later in school, I developed strategies to get around things, trying so hard to do everything, and be ok, and it took so much more effort than anyone realized for it to happen. And then when it became impossible, it stopped working, people wondered what was going on. They asked, ‘Why did you stop trying?’ and it wasn’t that I stopped trying, but that my tricks just stopped working. I was very good at pretending to be ok until I wasn’t.” Some students pointed out that they may behave differently than typical classroom expectations, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t paying attention. One shared, “Sometimes teachers don’t think I’m paying attention if I’m not looking at them, but actually I am. Sometimes I am looking at them and thinking about other things. I need to doodle or do something during class because it’s too tiring to give full attention. My appearance doesn’t look like what’s happening in my head.” And finally, students with physical challenges that aren’t visible shared the pain they have endured when forced to do school activities: “I live in constant pain. If there are physical activities on campus I’m not able to do them. If I can’t do something, I won't be forced to do it. In the past I have sometimes been forced to do it, and then later I suffer and am in incredible pain.” Continue to Part 2 for Helpful Supports

This is the second in a series from our guest blogger, Barbara Pape, Senior Director of the Digital Promise ® Learner Variability Project , as a guest blogger for this two-part series on supporting the twice-exceptional. In this post, Barbara lays out effective strategies to support 2e learners by acknowledging and supporting their learner variability. Want to know more about 2e and the barriers they and their educators face? Check out the first post, Twice Exceptional: History & Barriers , in this series. Research is clear that holistic approaches to teaching and learning are key for all students, but critical for 2e students. As emphasized in the Aspen Institute’s report,  From A Nation At Risk to A Nation of Hope  (2019), “we know that we learn best when adults know us, make us feel safe, hold us responsible for our learning, and help us work constructively and productively together” (p. 14). In Identifying and Serving Diverse Gifted Learners , the authors underscore the complexity of 2e students and the challenge of dealing with two identities that can lead to frustration, anxiety , social-emotional distress, and low motivation (Castellano et al., 2022, p. 190). A holistic approach that weaves together social, emotional, and academic learning is key to supporting 2e learners and is supported by research. What is learner variability? It is an evidence based concept that recognizes “each of us go to school with a backpack filled with very different experiences that we draw from to master content, create meaning, work in groups, share our voice, and achieve our potential.” These factors of learning are holistic, interconnected, and can change according to context. For more information: Learner Variability Is the Rule, Not the Exception  (Pape, 2018). Accommodations and modifications  to address the learning disability is a bridge to opportunity for 2e students. According to Anthony, as he looks back on his school years, essential to building belonging  is hearing from students on how they would like their peers to know about their accommodations and treat accommodations as an onramp to learning for 2e students, not an unfair advantage.  Self-advocacy  is essential for 2e students to develop and hone throughout their school years and a bridge to opportunity.  For Stevie, a series of unfortunate events, including taking away their IEP accommodations, led to their drive to self-advocate so they could get what they needed to thrive in school. “In my senior year, my teacher made me re-do a paper I wrote a few times. They couldn’t understand why I couldn’t pull it off when I clearly knew the work. I didn’t have an IEP at that point. When I told her I had dyslexia, she changed her approach to one of empathy and offered scaffolding and support to have success.” Stevie also noted the vast improvement of assistive technology on all computers now and recommends that teachers show students how they can use those accommodations not only in school, but for homework, which “eliminates disability barriers.” Jacob recalls attending his first IEP meetings in 8th grade. “While having parents advocate on your behalf, nothing takes the place of being your own self-advocate since you are the one in the classroom every day,” he added. Anthony agrees. Learner-centered approaches to teaching that include necessary accommodations and modifications to account for a learning disability can lead to deeper learning for 2e students and be highly motivational. A learner-centered classroom gives students ownership of their education and opens the door to student voice and advocacy–skills 2e students will need as they move through their schooling and the workplace, as noted by Stevie.  Jacob found high school, where he could make more choices on how to structure his academics, was a more effective learning environment than in earlier grades.  Teacher relationships  go a long way to guiding students who are 2e. Just as Anthony’s first-grade teacher exemplified, Jacob also pointed to his fourth-grade teacher who was supportive and helped him move from the special education classroom to a general education setting to better feed his intellect and curiosity. An example of a learner-centered approach that Anthony enjoyed and succeeded in is the National History Day competition. Students in middle and high school get to pick their own history topic within a theme, research it, and present findings in multiple ways: documentary, website, paper, performance, exhibit. This is a great model for other projects that offer student choice on topics and multiple ways to showcase their work. A key bridge to opportunity centers on understanding and addressing a student’s learner variability –a recognition of the unique strengths and challenges across a whole child framework that are interconnected and vary according to context. At Digital Promise, our free and open-source edtech tool, the Learner Variability Navigator  (LVN) can provide research-based factors of learning and strategies across a whole child framework to support the full diversity of learners in the classroom, including 2e students.  How could the Learner Variability Navigator work for a 2e learner? For a student with weaknesses in phonological awareness but strengths in background knowledge and comprehension, you could find the following strategies: text-to-speech , cooperative writing , literacy centers that are personalized for interests and multiple levels, multimodal instruction , rich library: poetry , music and dance,  and others.  Takeaways: What’s Needed Keep Expectations High: The frustration many 2e students face stems from having high aspirations and they “resent the often-low expectations that others have for them” (Rosen, 2024). Recognize and Address Each Student’s Learner Variability , which means seeing them holistically – not only their academic needs, but who they are as individuals, their various identities, their social emotional needs and strengths, their interests. Create Belonging and a Culture of Acceptance , which begins with building relationships not only student-teacher, but also student-student. Bridges Academy , one of the original schools specifically founded to address the needs of 2e learners, illustrates this model through its commitment to creating a “psychologically safe environment…validating the uniqueness of their profiles and empathizing with the difficulties inherent in being twice exceptional” (Sabatino & Wiebe, 2018, p. 304). Another school cited in recent research also lives this ideal with  what one parent called the “patient support” of her child’s classmates (Speirs Neumeister, 2023). Use the IEP to not only provide for accommodations and modifications for the learning disability but to recognize a student's strengths   and ensure that those needs are met, as well. Move from teacher-centered to learner-centered teaching  in order to give students voice and choice, which can lead to developing the self-advocacy skills that will be essential as they move beyond the K-12 classroom. Improve identification of both gifts – academic and creative – and disabilities. A broader definition of gifted and learning disabled allows for a wider net to include more students who fall into this category of unique learners. Professional development that addresses learner variability and shows how it can customize learning experiences for 2e and other students with unique needs. “Re-think Least Restrictive Environment”  is a controversial recommendation from Amanda Morin. Some 2e students may need, even for a limited time, a public school or individual programming devoted to developing and nurturing 2e students in order to thrive not only in school but beyond. She suggests elevating the individual and what it takes for the person to meet their holistic potential. Guardrails would need to be put in place so these students could transition to the neighborhood school or general education classroom at an age where they better understand their identity and learner variability, and can self-advocate. Top tips from our interviewees:  Anthony Pape-Calabrese Help 2e students find their special value in the community of their peers. Empower students by developing and encouraging self-advocacy. Normalize the disability and giftedness so students don’t feel ashamed or uncomfortable with their differences. Take the time to ask the student about how they want their peers to understand why they use accommodations. Make sure peers know it’s not due to laziness nor is it an unfair advantage.  Offer multiple opportunities to showcase knowledge – papers, film, art, performance. Jacob Wells Teachers need to be and students need to learn to be adaptable. Teachers are under a lot of stress to cover the curriculum and take care of all students. They need to understand the duality of twice exceptionality and be able to adapt for these students.  Teaching need not be so prescriptive and learning styles don't work (nor does research support it). Instead, present material in multi-modal ways and allow for student output to be generated in multimodal ways. Understand that students have lives outside of school and their performance on any given day may be different because of what happened that day. Lead with empathy, knowing the exhaustion connected to being 2e. If the purpose is to demonstrate they have retained knowledge then all students don’t need to present their learning in the exact same way. Stevie Mays If a student asks to push themselves, let them do it. They are motivated. And, it’s especially important for students who are gifted with learning disabilities because it’s a way to keep curiosity alive and not suffer from boredom.  Check in that the student knows what accessibility tools they could benefit from to complete homework. Some tools that are available at school can also be made available at home.  Practice empathy. If it appears that a student is underperforming, talk to them to find out why. Teachers were frustrated with me because I knew the content, but my output was weak, particularly homework. Those who checked in and realized I had dyslexia saw huge improvements in my work. For more information, including on the Learner Variability Navigator, contact: Barbara Pape, Senior Director of the Learner Variability Project at Digital Promise, bpape@digitalpromise.org Digital Promise is a trademark of Digital Promise Global, registered in the United States and other countries, used with permission. Click here to see the published list of the citations in this article.

REEL has been hosting expert speakers for our parent community since 2019. Recently, we collected the recordings of six or our talks, and pulled out quick tips and advice from these experts. These popular talks cover writing, anxiety, working memory, processing speed, social skills, and self-advocacy. In the coming months, look for more quick video tips from our expert speakers! Now you can quickly learn more about some of the topics that matter most to you: Dr Susan Baum: Strategies to Ignite the Reluctant Writer Writing almost always tops the list of challenges for all types of 2e learners, who have both high ability and potential as well as complex challenges such as specific learning disabilities (e.g. dyslexia), autism, ADHD, and anxiety. Learn why writing breaks down, and get five ideas for your struggling writer . Dr Vivien Keil: Anxiety Strategies for the 2e Child Why do so many 2e students experience anxiety? How parents and educators can help support these exceptional youth? Uncover practical strategies to manage anxiety at home and school. Learnfully: Working Memory and the 2e Learner Working memory affects every part of a child's life. How does it affect the routines, academics, socializing, and emotions of 2e learners? Demystify working memory and hear one key piece of advice for caregivers. Dr. Marcy Dann: Slow Processing Speed and the 2e Child Many 2e children have slow processing speed. How can we balance our speed-valuing culture with an appreciation for the advantages of a slow processing speed? Understand processing speed and what to look for in a school to support these learners. Panel: Social Skills and the 2e Child Social skills and social anxiety rank as top concerns for parents of 2e learners. With so many varying approaches and lots of strong opinions, what’s a parent to do? Hear 6 steps to respectfully help your child in social situations, plus other practical tips. Panel: 2e Self-Advocacy Knowing how your brain learns—and talking with your teachers about how they can modify assignments to fit your learning needs—is touted as one of the most important skills 2e students should develop. Find out about the core components of self-advocacy, and 8 things you can do right now to support your child.

As the Educator Awareness Program Manager at REEL, I have had the privilege of witnessing firsthand the profound impact our workshops have on educators and, by extension, their students. Our recent sessions in the broader regions of the San Francisco Bay Area have not only enlightened but also inspired teachers to approach the unique needs of twice-exceptional (2e) students with renewed empathy and understanding. One memorable experience unfolded a few weeks ago, where we facilitated a learning differences simulation at a private high school in the San Francisco peninsula. This session allowed educators to momentarily experience the sensory and cognitive challenges faced by students with conditions like dyslexia, ADHD, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, or sensory processing issues. Though it was just a simulation and not the real experience, I could tell it provoked surprising emotions for many. Witnessing the educators' reactions, their renewed empathy, frustrations, and then their realizations of what it may feel like to struggle with learning differences despite being bright, underscored the everyday realities our 2e students navigate. A particularly moving aspect of these sessions was the student panel. 2e students shared their personal experiences, struggles, and needs with their educators. It was incredibly powerful to see the impact of open, trusting, and caring teacher-student relationships. These moments are a vivid reminder of why we do what we do—facilitating connections that foster safer, more supportive learning environments. The journey continued at a public school a little further South, where the learning simulation was accompanied by a virtual workshop based on our REEL DEAR model. This model is a framework we are immensely proud of, guiding educators through four critical considerations in supporting 2e children: Develop Connection, Embrace Flexibility, Attend to Strengths, and Reframe Behavior. The workshop not only equipped educators with tools and strategies but also deepened their understanding of how to apply these in real classroom settings. What was particularly remarkable was the engagement and involvement of parents, especially at the South Bay event. It added another layer of community support. Their active participation brought our initiatives directly into their school's culture, helping to create a more inclusive educational framework for all students involved. A parent recently shared with us: “It was an exceptional, eye opening class that was extremely helpful in teaching me how to better support 2e kids…..I hope REEL will be hosting more training at my child's school in the years to come.” Throughout these workshops, the feedback from educators has been overwhelmingly positive and insightful. One teacher shared with us, “The workshop inspired me to show more grace and be more aware of the fact that sometimes disruption or inattentive behaviors may be less about what the student is choosing to do and more about what they’re experiencing in that moment due to neurodivergence.” This reflection captures the essence of the shift we aim to create: a deeper understanding that leads to more compassionate educational practices. My role allows me to see the ripple effects of our work, from the immediate reactions in our workshops to the long-term changes in classrooms across these regions. Each interaction, each shared story, each strategy discussed adds up to a significant transformation in how education is delivered to 2e students. We are not just informing educators; we are equipping them to make a real difference. As we plan future workshops and expand our reach, I am continually motivated by the feedback and outcomes we observe. The journey of educating about and advocating for 2e students is ongoing and evolving. For my colleagues and me at REEL, each workshop is another step forward in our mission to ensure that every student receives the understanding and support they need to thrive. For educators interested in joining this transformative journey, engaging with REEL’s resources and workshops is an opportunity to be part of a movement towards a more equitable and responsive educational system. Together, we can make a difference—one educator, one student, one classroom at a time. To learn more about our workshops and our DEAR REEL model, visit our educator page or email Vera directly at: vera@reel2e.org

During this season of IEP renewal meetings and the never-ending search for the elusive “perfect educational fit” for our 2e children, we could all use a little positivity. For caregivers of 2e students who have taken their children to one assessment after another as they attempt to uncover the best ways to support and accommodate them, a strength-based assessment can feel like a nice warm smile after a super hard day. Imagine sitting through a meeting with educational experts in which they spend the whole time telling you what your child is good at and how creative they are. Strength-based assessments are evaluations that focus on a child’s strengths, talents, and interests. They are not diagnoses from psychologists or educational professionals and they do not point out areas of deficit or weakness. By using a series of questionnaires to gather information from caregivers, teachers, and the student, a strength-based assessor pieces together information about the environment in which the child can flourish. The goal of a strength-based report is to equip caregivers with the information they need to advocate for their 2e children, find their children’s ideal educational environments, and help their children thrive in and out of school. One way that 2e educational experts structure a strength-based report is by using the five non-negotiable environments for 2e learners – intellectual, physical, social, emotional, and creative. The strength-based assessor analyzes specific ways to modify each of these five environments to provide the support the child needs. For example, one child who received a strength-based assessment revealed that regarding his physical environment, he was more comfortable sitting in the corner of a room, in bright light, with the room at a warm temperature when working and learning. His family advocated for his teachers to help facilitate this environment for him in the classroom and his parents set up his homework space at home with these preferences in mind. Strength-based assessors also make suggestions for talent development activities and concrete ways to further develop the child’s strengths at home and in their educational setting. Another child who received a strength-based assessment talked about her love for magic. Her strength-based recommendations included exploring more activities with magic shows, including trying to perform her own. After the assessment, she designed a magic show for neighborhood children, allowing her to explore her interest area, demonstrate her expertise, create social connections, and gain self-confidence in performing for others. As a strength-based assessor, I’ve witnessed firsthand the value that our assessments have on improving the learning experiences for 2e students, and in turn their overall well being. It is common that families discover strength-based assessments only after every other option has been attempted with little benefit, and in many cases, negative results. Often, they come to us at a point of crisis when they just aren’t sure where to turn next. Rather than being yet another voice that tries to find the way to “fix” the child, we embrace the family and the child exactly as they are. We seek to understand not how to change them but instead, how to provide them with the environments and opportunities that allow them to shine at their brightest. We listen to the many voices in the child’s life; we develop a relationship with the child. Our assessments do not “test” the child. We create a sense of safety, radical acceptance, and a true connection that creates belonging. This process alone can positively impact some children. Shortly after a recent assessment I conducted with an 8-year-old who had arrived to me in a state of shutdown after his parents were forced to remove him from his school environment because of intense panic attacks, the mom emailed me to say, “We've seen an improvement in our son’s self-esteem through this process. He was so happy for his meetings with you, and being acknowledged as an expert on his own experience seemed to really boost his general mood.” But, our goal is not the assessment process itself. Our ultimate goal is to package the secrets we uncover on how to most effectively engage the child so that their strengths have the opportunity to shine in learning, at home, and in the individual paths that they ultimately discover for their future. Some parents may already be living with a strength-based mindset and others are still learning how to shift their perspectives from a focus on deficits to a focus on strengths. No matter where people are in their journeys, all parents and caregivers of 2e children could benefit from practicing the following strengths-based techniques with their kids: Lean in to your children’s interests with curiosity, focusing on which skills they are able to demonstrate and which ones they seem capable of learning within their areas of interest (instead of focusing on what they need to remediate) Consider your child’s individual environmental needs on multiple levels (physical, social, emotional, intellectual, and creative) and experiment with making small changes that can help them feel comfortable, confident, and able to engage, learn, and grow Look for ways to help your child connect with others who share their similar interests, whether they be peers, teachers, or mentors; finding like-minded people can do wonders for 2e children’s self-esteem while allowing them to deeply explore their strengths and talents If you're interested in exploring strength-based assessments performed by 2e experts, you can find more information at: The Strength-Based Assessment Lab at Bridges Graduate School If you're interested in receiving support creating strengths-based environments for home, learning, and interests with the direct help of a 2e expert, you can find more information at: Exceptionally Engaged, LLC Editor's note: REEL has put together a list of Strength-Based Assessment Tools. Download it here: Amy Clark, Ed.D. is the founder and lead strategist at Exceptionally Engaged LLC where she supports parents of multi-exceptional children in creating learning experiences and home environments that allow both children and the family to thrive. She also provides mentorships for multi-exceptional individuals by supporting them through their interests and is a founding case manager for the Strength-based Assessment Lab at Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity. Marna Wohlfeld, MA, MBA is mom of 2e children and a doctoral student at Bridges Graduate School for Cognitive Diversity in Education. She is passionate about supporting 2e kids and their families by focusing on their strengths and interests and designing environments that help them thrive.