As we kick off another school year, I was pondering what most makes my 2e kids look forward to school, especially because their days are often filled with many challenges. Not surprisingly, school is most appealing for them when they have the chance to work in their areas of strength and interest. We’ve had some great teachers along the way who recognized this and incorporated these throughout the year. As we head back to school, I’ve compiled this list of ways my kids’ teachers supported their strengths and interests. Whether you’re an educator or a parent, hopefully these ideas spark your imagination for what is possible this year. Write in area of interest: 2e kids often have intense interests and get into a state of flow when they’re allowed to focus on their interests. When my son was a 3rd grader, the class was re-working the Cinderella fairytale into their own version. My child, who has difficulty with the technical requirements of such writing but a strength in story-telling and imaginary worlds, requested to write his own fairy tale from scratch instead. The teacher allowed him to do so and he wrote the longest story he’d ever written (featuring an evil shark of course!). Rather than his usual sitting with his head down during writing time, he looked forward to working on his fairy tale each day. Give them time to research what interests them: When the 3rd grade class was researching animals such as dolphins and bears, my child wanted to research tuataras, Texas horned lizards (they shoot blood out of their eyes), and glass lizards. The teacher allowed him to work in his area of interest and he produced an amazing slideshow that mesmerized (and grossed out?!) the whole classroom. A child can research what interests them as a special project during downtimes or when the class is learning something the student has already mastered. Similarly, in my other child’s middle school, students in humanities were asked to research an area of interest about ancient China (food, clothing, weapons, pets, makeup, sports, anything!) and build something related to their research to show the class in a gallery. This allowed my child to choose an area of high interest (transportation), to use his love of making, and showcase his knowledge and creativity. That year he built a Chinese junk ship, an Egyptian shaduf, a 3D printed model of the earth’s layers, and a solar system model comparing relative distances to local city streets - and was so excited to showcase them and see what others had built. The topics he studied through this approach are the ones that will stick with him. Alter the process to favor strengths: When my son was in 6th grade, each student in the class researched a topic of interest, wrote a script to share what they’d learned, then presented it to the class. When the teacher noticed that my kid struggled to write a script, but had already memorized all of his research, she allowed him to skip the script. She had him kick off the class presentations. Everyone was so impressed by his memory, which boosted his self-esteem and confidence. The teacher’s flexibility acknowledged his strengths rather than hammering on following a process that wasn’t the best for his learning profile. Create spaces for them to shine: My son’s 3rd grade teacher knew he loved Wordle and math games - at the end of the day she would give him five minutes to make a Wordle for the class or teach them how to play one of the math games he brought to school. He looked forward to it all day and made friends playing the games. The class respected his talents, rather than seeing him only as a disruptive student. Build creativity into the week: One teacher created a maker-space in her classroom and allowed children time to explore, build, and collaborate on any project of their imagination. This is something every student looked forward to. Show mastery in a way that taps into their strengths: Our friend’s 6th grade son and his friend were allowed to use their love of coding to show mastery of a social studies unit. Her son coded a quiz game for peers and his friend made a website. Their classmates got to use these tools which helped them learn about the talents of their creators in addition to the content. In addition to these ideas, check out our writeup of 8 Strength Based Activities to Kick Off the School Year (for educators) and creating your student one-sheet (for parents). When we give 2e students a chance to find joy, creativity, and success during the school day, it helps them overcome the many times that push against their deficits. Doing so helps them enjoy attending school, increases their self-esteem, and allows classmates to see their strengths.

I like hiking because I love nature and exercise. I didn’t always like hiking. Any time my family went on a hike, I would complain. I got tired when I walked for too long. I got bored when in nature. I wasn’t a hiker. But that all changed when I moved to my new school. They had started a P.E. program to give kids more exercise by hiking once a week. These hikes were short, about 1 or 2 miles, so I didn’t get tired doing them. It felt so relaxing to see nature after the bustle of school. It made me understand the importance of our local greenspace, and the beauty of our local nature. Hiking is one of my favorite things to do because it helps me connect with nature. I’m someone who feels relaxed and energized when exercising, and much of the stress that I can feel at school or with my family melts away in the expansiveness of open space. I’m a mostly introverted person, but hiking with friends helps me share my love of the outdoors and biology expertise. When I’m hiking, I can push my limits in new ways. I remember one time when I was when we did a hike at Stevens Creek County Park. We hiked the Canyon Trail. It started with some steep switchbacks, which were hard on my inexperienced hiker legs, but eventually we made it to a viewpoint with a rock. I scrambled up the rock, and the view of the Stevens Creek Canyon was so incredible! I wanted to share the good feeling I have after hiking with others. As soon as I got home, I made myself an AllTrails account, and started planning hikes for my family. Then, I started planning hikes for my school. This has given me the chance to work with teachers and other students, creating opportunities for me to share some of my favorite destinations with them. I had to push my boundaries a little bit in being a leader for these hikes, but found that I really enjoyed it. I studied hiking for my school passion project and interviewed a professor who studies the psychological benefits of being in nature. I learned that hiking: Reduces stress and anxiety - hiking puts you in “rest & digest” instead of "fight or flight" Restores attention - hiking helps increase working memory and attention Produces awe - seeing beautiful nature can give people a sense of awe Can increase feelings of connectedness to nature - studies of nature bathing show that organic compounds may even affect your immune system Gives you physical activity benefits beyond working out in a gym or city environment Lets you bond with people while walking I was surprised that this list matches pretty well with the benefits of therapies and medications that are often part of the 2e life. You can get these same benefits for free by just taking a hike! Not convinced? Try out my beginner hike brochures and see how you feel afterwards. I’ve included points of interest, detailed maps, what to bring, and what to expect to make it easy. So if you’re 2e, I’m telling you to take a hike!

On Mar 12, 2023, the dynamic duo of Amy & Jac of Autism Level Up (ALU) spoke to REEL about how adults can be neurodiversity affirming forces in the lives of their 2e students. They discussed living in "useful reality", the importance of cross-cultural understanding between neurodivergent and neurotypical, energy regulation and the energy meter tool , finding the problem with an activity , creating affirming individualized goals , learning how you learn best , and so much more! They provided many tools that you can use at home or share with your school. You can also invite ALU to do a workshop for your school . Here is a summary of some of their key points: The term “neurodiversity” means that all brains learn differently. The term “neurodivergent” means a clinically significant difference. 1 in 7 students are neurodivergent - that is a lot of kids in schools! We need cross-cultural understanding between neurotypical (NT) and neurodivergent (ND) students. It is an unfair burden to expect that only neurodivergent students learn neurotypical norms. We also need to teach NT students about ND culture. We work in this world together, it is a 2-way street. In the past neurodivergence was discussed using a medical model which was all about deficits. Now people like to talk about strengths and superpowers, which is great, but an ND life is not all rainbows and unicorns. ALU believes in “useful reality” - we need to celebrate differently wired brains, but not neglect real barriers in a world made for NT brains. (Also be careful not to define ND strengths as traits that “look NT”.) In light of useful reality, ALU focused on 3 useful tools to support ND students: Regulation Supporting regulation is key to supporting active engagement in the environment and relationships ND kids wish to participate in. The ability to regulate oneself correlates to a higher quality of life - which makes sense if you are able to engage in the things you want to do. This is also a huge area of struggle for many ND students. To discuss regulation in a neurodivergent affirming way, we need to shift away from focusing on external behaviors to focusing on the internal experience. (See the SCERTS model ) We should not try to control a student to meet our standard, but rather teach skills and abilities so they can meet their needs on their own. To share their internal experience, some students are empowered by using emotion words. ALU created an energy regulation based alternative since emotion words don’t work for Jac. She says emotion words are a social structured layer over physical arousal. If you are wired to be social, you can use these words. If you have trouble with regulation, they don’t help. If it’s like a foreign language to you, being forced to discuss your emotions can mask your inner state. She does better identifying energy in her body, whether it’s surging or lagging - it’s a more concrete concept. You can level up regulatory support through community collaboration, by supporting students in a way that resonates for them. The ALU energy meter shows potential energy states - we can be maxed out, amped up, focused, settled, sleepy, or asleep. We need all of these states at different times, there aren’t right or wrong ones. For example, you may want to have “maxed out” energy while riding a roller coaster. The issue arises when the energy needed for an activity doesn’t match the person’s current energy level. That means the student isn't regulated and needs a tool or strategy to get to the right energy level. Dysregulation means an incorrect energy fit. There is not a right energy state for an activity, there is your right state for this activity, and it may be different for various students. Well regulated does not equal calm. For example, while some people may prefer to be in a “focused” state to give a talk, Amy likes to be in an “amped up” state and move around when she’s giving a talk. By using an energy meter, adults can help students assess their current energy level and the level needed for an activity. Kids can customize their energy meter with images that resonate for them - from animals to sports to whatever is meaningful. By growing self-understanding of how students learn best, and providing tools and strategies for energy regulation, you are providing students with a life-long skill that will allow them access to the activities they would like to engage in. The Size of the Problem We often see well-meaning quotes such as, “We don’t have special needs, everyone has different needs” when discussing neurodivergence. To level up this thinking, we must understand that different needs require different supports. ALU has developed a flow chart to help us understand how to best provide these different supports when students seem to be stuck. We can’t presume to know the problem if a student is having a hard time. We can’t know what a student’s problem experience is, and when we don’t know, we often project what we think it should be. We also can’t know how big a problem feels for somebody else. ALU surveyed hundreds of people about various problems and how big of a problem they are - from a stuffed animal falling off the bed (some found it horrible, some didn’t care at all), to global warming (some found it consumes all of their thoughts and some don’t think about it much). It is not something we can judge for somebody else. We need to help people have the tools and strategies to solve things that are truly problems for them. What if the problem is the activity itself? This is where we can examine school activities. For students who thrive on information and predictability, ALU created a flow chart to help collaborate to figure out the problem . Start with basic needs before the academic tasks - has the student eaten, rested, used the bathroom, etc. Then examine what kind of activity it is. Is this a “must do” activity? ALU has a narrow definition for these - only health & safety issues such as wearing a seatbelt fall into this category. Or is it “needs to be done, but is negotiable” activity? Almost every activity in a school day falls within this category. Yay - this provides us with flexibility! We can negotiate where/when/how/who/how much around the activity. We need to teach learners (and ourselves!) this flexibility. Is it an “up to me” activity? Then I have the power to say no. Or maybe I don’t know which type of activity it is and I need to learn to ask. Using these tools leads to self knowledge and self advocacy as students learn what they need to successfully navigate school tasks. Useful Reality Goals We often set goals or objectives for our learners, including in IEPs. ALU has created a tool to guide ND affirming goal creation . Goals need to be affirming and individualized. The goals should be the person’s goals, not a speech goal or OT goal, etc. While not every student at every age can write themselves a goal for their best interest, the goals should still be person-centered and productive. The goals should not have “does x in 4 out of 5 opportunities.” Make goals that give a big bang for their buck. Then invest in it - it’s going to be work - but will have a real impact in self understanding and self awareness for self advocacy. These goals do more good for someone versus goals like “can sit with feet on floor” or “can have three age appropriate conversations with peers during a 20 minute lunch period”. Think about regulation, significant forms of communication, the supports needed to meet these goals, understanding what one’s needs are, and developing a regulatory skill set. Think about how they know it of themselves and advocate for it, even after they leave school. Goals should not focus on NT standards to make NT folks more comfortable. Goals should not include control & compliance techniques. Also, you can’t expect growth without support. When measuring the success of goals, make sure to note whether the support partner has done their part, and don’t measure progress unless this is true. The ALU online tool shows 8 goals rewritten in an ND affirming way and how to measure them. Q&A How can a classroom balance differing energy levels? You can use grouping, positioning, etc. Not all learners have the same energy needs - some need to stand and move, some need to doodle, etc. The same energy level looks different for everyone. ALU has a tool called “My energy” that lets you show what your energy looks like at different levels. They also recommend their Bumper Whole Body Learner tool that helps you figure out what you look like when you’re learning, what you need to learn, etc. Then students can compare to see how diverse the classroom needs might be. This tool helps with understanding others needs, tools & strategies, and builds self knowledge. One person’s regulation activity can be another person’s trigger, but if you know why it is happening, it provides a different perspective. What if a student thinks assignments can’t be flexible? Get the team to present a range of ways to complete an assignment, not mom or dad. Have the team say, “I need you to demonstrate your learning in one of these various ways.” Ideally you would get UDL (Universal Design for Learning) options from a teacher as part of the assignment. See if you can get one teacher to start. For Jac, who liked to change her assignments to make them more creative, most teachers eventually came up with alternatives after she changed things herself. She believes in co-conspiring. Once you realize assignments are all invented, you realize you can have a say in that invention. What if a student always opts out of math? Jac didn’t do well in math K-12 as it was too abstract. But when she took college stats in the context of her psychology degree, she did very well. Why? It was motivating and meaningful. How can we work with public schools that still use behaviorism, we can’t refuse FBA and work with the district, they push back on these radical changes? ALU does professional development and consults for schools. They understand you have to show ABA goals for insurance, etc but if you can get a few people to try these methods and see success, it spreads. Get this information to even one person - don’t let perfection hinder progress. Find the common ground and then help them level up. Each little change ripples out to many students. Find a logical next place to move forward. Energy regulation can be a good way in, as it’s an area most people aren’t wed to. As a school administrator, I’m criticized for leaning too far into ND needs and parents say it’s disruptive to the classroom? We need “gym” and “spa” areas in schools, we can’t regulate all needs inside the classroom. We need spaces to be active or calm to bring your energy up or down. These should be outside of the learning environment so it doesn’t bother others - beyond just wobbly chairs. You can get your needs met and come back to the environment. We acknowledge staffing considerations, etc but you can’t expect kids to stay in a situation if they’re over amp’d. Students need to get the intensity of support they need. That said, if a student has to regulate all the time - like being on a treadmill and always needing to do something to get an energy match - think about changing the environment and the activities. The spa and gym are buffers - if the source of dysregulation is the cognitive demands or lack of social understanding, you can throw all the walking breaks and bean bag chairs at it and it doesn’t solve the root of the problem. The burden might be too much on the individual to be regulating, you need to change the environment and activities. Definition of autism? Check out Neurobears for autism definition What if a child has difficulty with decision making, even simple things like ice cream vs popsicle? ALU are huge fans of offering choice, but if someone is paralyzed, just explore something - do ice cream and list what was good or bad, what worked and what didn’t, then do it with the popsicle. Build the child’s cognitive construct of how they will make a choice in the future. You can use the Bumper tool: try things and reflect on them, how do they feel in my body, do I like them or not, and build a menu of things I like. Remind the child, just because you make one choice now, it doesn’t mean you can’t make a different choice in the future. How to support students with a PDA profile? Model without expectation. This doesn’t activate the threat response. The child can sit back and watch and figure out if it works for them. It’s how we present our tools to individuals. For example, for a child with difficulty transitioning, his parents built a schedule for themselves and then the child came over and asked about it. It became “this is just what we do in this house”. Siblings - how to be fair when they have different needs? Use the Bumper tool - build understanding that different people have different needs. Equity means everybody gets what they need, not everybody gets the same thing. For you, this might be easy or seem like a treat, for your sister this something they can’t function without or vice versa. Build cross-cultural understanding. Being neurodivergent affirming means we understand each other's needs and understand that our needs are different from others. It means building an understanding of diversity. ALU does cross-cultural training in schools. Don’t put the onus for change on our ND/2e kids.

NOTE: This is the transcript of a spoken word performance the author gave in partnership with The Moth and KnowledgeWorks on January 31, 2023. You can watch the recording here. It’s just after 3:30 on a Tuesday afternoon. I’m standing by the window in my kitchen, looking out for my son Finn. I’m nervous because he’s late walking home from school. The walk is just a half mile through our tree-filled neighborhood, but he’s only 8 years old and I always worry. Something you should know about Finn - he is twice-exceptional. He’s gifted, with an extremely high verbal comprehension, while at the same time his dyslexia and ADHD mean he struggles with reading, writing, and acting like everyone else. He’s always been fiercely independent - he regularly wears mismatching socks, prefers to wear many of his clothes inside-out, and isn’t shy about asking adults questions until he fully understands something. He loves to explore the world and let his mind wander, and with all his extra energy, lots of exercise is critical for him - so the freedom and independence he gets from walking home on his own is very important to him. So I breathe a sigh of relief as I see Finn’s floppy mop of brown hair and backpack bouncing along up the street. As soon as he walks in the kitchen door, I pounce on him with questions - Why was he late? Did something happen? He tells me that something funny did happen on the walk home - someone pulled over and asked him if he was lost and needed a ride. Now, I’m trying to stay calm, but anxious worst-case scenarios are definitely running through my head. I take a breath and ask him if he has any idea why that would have happened. He thinks for a moment, and then says, “well, it might be because I was standing and staring at a tree for a very long time. I was watching a line of ants climb along up through the bark, and then as I looked up I noticed some birds high up in the branches, and I thought about where they had been and where they were going, and then I noticed how wide the branches were, and then I looked down and wondered about the roots and how far under my feet they went… I guess that maybe was why.” Then he ran, carefree as ever, up to his room to grab his headphones and listen to his current favorite fantasy audiobook, leaving me in the kitchen trying to sort all this out. On the one hand I felt relieved; my worst fears were unfounded. But a new worry had sprung up in its place. Now I was concerned about what others think of my son, and how they treat him, especially when I am not there to protect him. When I was a kid, I didn’t fit in with other kids my age. In elementary school I was sent to a gifted program, which was housed at a different local elementary school in our district. The kids at that school were not kind to us gifted kids, and the playground was especially rough. One day I found an old twisted metal structure in the far corner of the field, up against the forest. I collected pieces of wood and tree branches, and I built us a fort. From that day on, our group would eat lunch in that fort, telling stories, laughing and talking, feeling safe and separate from the rest of the school. Fast forward to high school, and I’m a bit of a rebel. Bleached hair, nose ring - I take pride in not fitting in. My Long Island high school had this bagel place across the street, and every day after school, most of the students went over there to hang out. One day I was walking out of the shop, hitting the back of my Snapple, and I saw my sister - who is one year younger than I am - talking with a group of girls. The girls were laughing and smiling, but as I got closer, I could hear what they were saying, and as soon as they saw me, they scattered. They had been pretending to be friends with her, and trying to convince her to eat broken glass - saying, “it’s what all of us friends do!” You might be wondering, ‘who would eat glass just because some people tell them to?’ Well, my sister has Williams Syndrome. It’s something similar to autism, but with a twist - people with Williams don’t know how to guard their emotions. They are enthusiastically kind and loving to everyone, but they can’t tell when people are being unkind in return. I still remember riding the bus in elementary school with my sister and having to sit and listen while the other kids ruthlessly teased her. She had no idea people were being cruel, she thought they were her friends. But I sat there in silence and absorbed the hate instead. Over the years, I felt the brunt of much of my sister’s bullying, and my own inability to fit in. I had learned to adopt a shell to protect myself. So, back in that moment, as an adult, in the kitchen with my son, I knew that above all else I wanted to figure out how to protect my own child from these sorts of experiences as well. The next day, I dialed into my online support group for parents of twice-exceptional kids. I explain what happened on Finn’s walk home and ask for advice. Someone suggests that he carry a camera, so that when others see him standing still, they think he is merely waiting for a great photographic shot. That seems like a really clever idea to me. But when I suggest it to my son, he is less than enthusiastic. He says, "ok mom, I’ll try it if you want, but I don’t really see what the big deal is." He asks me - "So what if someone doesn’t understand me or what I’m doing? Why does that matter?" I look at my adorable son, with his bright eyes and that floppy hair, in love with the world. And I realize he is right - why does it matter? It should be ok to let others misunderstand your kindness, your thoughtfulness, your intelligence, your quirkiness. So Finn goes back to walking every day, bringing home dead birds at the ends of sticks, pockets full of discarded nuts and bolts, smooth rocks, interesting leaves. He once brought home a hubcap he found lying in a gutter, because it would be the perfect thing to turn into a shield to go along with the rocket launcher he’d made out of an old, discarded vacuum. In fact, I suspect at this point everyone in our neighborhood knows that if they leave some piece of broken furniture outside for free - A deflated exercise ball! A rollable Tupperware box that’s only slightly broken! - my son will be by to come take it off their hands. I’m still learning how to let things go, and I make mistakes. At a restaurant one night, I tell Finn to stop bouncing in the booth and banging his head against the seat-back cushion because, “that’s not what ‘normal’ people do”; later that evening, I apologize. Finn is nearly 13 now, but of course I still worry - I’m a mother, and the world can be an unkind place. But I’m doing my best to take my cues from him, so that my children and I will be proud of who we are, and we won’t try to fix it.

Ever since our son was identified as twice exceptional, we were told of this elusive tribe* that we will find if only we talk to the right people, join the right community, attend the right event. It’s been seven years, and we’re still looking, but there is definitely hope. Being twice exceptional implies at least two dimensions to one’s identity: giftedness and learning difference. We have two kids and both of them are profoundly gifted and neurodivergent. Furthermore, their special needs are distinct: our son is autistic, our daughter is a stealth dyslexic. But these are not the only facets that define them. They are both Russian heritage speakers. Plus, we homeschool. On top of that, our son is into all things science, and our daughter is artsy and creative. The question of which piece of this Venn diagram puzzle we belong to has been on our minds. So, at the advice of experts, we embarked on a journey in search of our tribe* or better yet, our people, and, frankly, it’s been rocky. First, we tried the Russophone community. Having been raised in the former Soviet Union myself, I knew nothing about giftedness or twice exceptionality. These terms did not exist in my time and are still largely unknown to the Russian community. In fact, our Russian pediatrician insisted that our kids’ quirky behavior was caused by us not being strict enough with them. When the kids were little, it was working out ok, but the older they got, the more misunderstood we were. After that, we tried the community of astronomy enthusiasts. Our son has been interested in astronomy ever since he put together a space-themed floor puzzle at the age of 3. He was obsessed with watching YouTube videos of rocket and space shuttle launches and Mars landings. Eventually he started watching lectures given by prominent Russian astronomers, at which point we signed him up for an online college course at Moscow State University. He even virtually met a boy from Moscow of similar age taking the same class! We also bought a telescope and started attending star parties and public astronomy lectures at local universities and colleges. It seemed like we might have found our people. Alas, the majority of those who could interact with our son at his level were adults, not kids. In hindsight, this sojourn was more of a search in support of our son’s interest rather than a search for our people. While they can be one and the same for one member of the family, it wasn’t addressing our needs as a whole. Third, we tried the disabled community. We joined a local 4-H group that provided horseback riding lessons to disabled children and enrolled in swimming lessons for kids with special needs. After several months, we realized that disabled and special needs are such broad terms that even though our son fell under both umbrellas, he didn’t belong in either of them, as there is a vast difference between a profoundly gifted (PG) autistic child and a child with more severe intellectual or physical disabilities: while both disabilities are real, and neither one is easier to deal with than the other, the underlying needs vary greatly, and what works for one, does not necessarily work for the other. Then we tried the gifted community. We toured several private schools and looked at special programs for gifted learners, such as Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth. However, these programs had a competitive and overachieving vibe to them that just didn’t match our family. They seemed perfect for hardworking, mainstream kids. But they weren’t so welcoming towards quirky kids like our son, who could not sit still for longer than ten minutes at a time if he was not challenged or sufficiently engaged, whose knowledge of science was years beyond that of his peers, and yet whose writing was, well, years behind. In fact, we were told that to keep up with the writing requirements for these programs, we would have to hire a private tutor. And that would be on top of the school tuition (which, by the way, is on par with that of a university). Clearly, we did not belong in this space, either. Next, we tried the profoundly gifted community. We attended retreats and conventions organized specifically for PG families. Though the events were a good experience, we could not shake off the feeling that maybe our family is not as PG as the rest of the crowd and, therefore, maybe not entitled to be here. Then we finally took the plunge and tried homeschooling. We were lucky to join a gifted homeschooling community right off the bat. This community has been the most welcoming of all so far because it is an extremely diverse group of people with kids of varying backgrounds, abilities, interests, and special needs. We found a lot of support and guidance, but have we found our people? Having been on this journey for the past several years, we have come to accept that the community we are looking for is going to be small, and it will take time and persistence to find it. And that’s ok! Just think about it: in a Venn diagram, the intersection of circles that represent at least some of the dimensions we face – Russian, science, special needs, gifted, PG, homeschooling – is quite small. No wonder we’ve been having such a hard time! But, we haven’t abandoned our pursuit – we are always on the lookout. And our perseverance pays off: over the years we’ve met a couple of families whose values and views of the world are in line with our own. And even though our kids are not necessarily all friends with each other (though some are), this is probably as close as it gets to our people – a small group of quirky homeschooling PG families with some overlapping interests and similar struggles. So, keep looking, keep reaching out, keep connecting. Because when you do find your people, it’s so worth it! *The specialists we consulted as we started our journey often referred to finding "our tribe," which upon reflection I find inappropriate, but is an often-used term in our culture to connote finding your crew, people, crowd, squad, team, etc. About the Author: Guest blogger Yekaterina (Katrina) O’Neil is a homeschooling mom by day, a doctoral student by night, and a software security researcher by trade. The mom to two 2e kids in middle and high school, she began homeschooling them after public school turned out not to be a fit. To understand and support her kids better, Katrina is pursuing a Doctoral Degree at Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity in Education, while attempting to juggle a career in cybersecurity at the same time. She is passionate about neurodiversity and hopes to spread awareness and acceptance of neurodivergent individuals at home, at school, and in the workplace.She holds a B.S. and M.S. in Computer Science & Engineering from UC San Diego.

Minecraft. Super Smash Bros. Counter Strike. There’s no denying that today’s kids are steeped in video games more than ever before. Instead of fighting about it, is there a way kids can leverage their interest in video games into a college degree and career? We spent an hour in conversation with Irene Vassilopoulos, whose oldest child recently explored the video game design programs at colleges across the U.S. How did her family discover and evaluate programs? What was the application process like? Is there anything she wished she’d known before starting the process? Were there any surprises along the way?

Video game design and development is a popular interest for 2e students. REEL community member Helen Amick complied this great list of summer game design programs for pre-college students.

Working memory affects every part of a child's life; however, most people know little about it beyond perhaps a score on the WISC test. REEL hosted Thea Slingland, Director of Educational Services for Learnfully, to talk about where working memory is used in daily life and how it affects routines, academics, socializing, and emotions for 2e learners.

Thurs, Oct 15, 7:30-9:00pm, on Zoom Are you considering a private school for your 2e child? Join REEL members Abby Kirigin, Carmen O'Shea, and Callie Turk - three parents of 2e kids that have experienced a dozen Bay Area K-12 schools firsthand and researched 30+ more. Learn about the various foci of local private, public, and charter schools as well as the tradeoffs of each for 2e kids. Ask questions and get answers from the parent perspective. While we didn't record this session because it included personal information from our panelists, we summarized the insights from the session in three blog posts: Private School for 2e Learners? Key Considerations Private School for 2e Learners? Admissions Process & Tips Private School for 2e Learners? Silicon Valley Schools and Beyond

Do you have a child or student who is clearly bright but has behaviors that confuse you? This past summer, three students from a local private school interned with REEL, working on projects to help educators, parents, and policymakers better understand these unique, twice-exceptional learners. We were lucky to have Christine Z, Aaron H., and Nora N. on our team—thank you for your fabulous contributions to our mission! While one intern focused on developing an advocacy playbook (check out this blog post about her work), the other two interns created videos for our new 'Ever Had a Kid Like Me?' video series. Watch what they created on REEL's YouTube channel - 2e Perspective: Dyslexia and 2e Perspective: ADHD. (The videos are also embedded at the bottom of this post.) One of our interns, Christine Z., finished her internship for us by writing this reflection to share with our community. This summer, I embarked on an internship at REEL. It’s difficult to encapsulate this experience in words… I learned so much about twice-exceptionality and filmmaking, more than I ever will in a traditional classroom setting. More importantly, I felt the real impact of REEL’s work on 2e families around the Bay Area. As a part of this internship, I produced a series of short videos on individual students’ 2e (twice-exceptional) journeys, under the “Ever Had a Kid Like Me?” project. This project came naturally to me, as I am deeply passionate about neurodiversity and storytelling. I collaborated with another intern, Aaron H., to come up with interview questions, film interviews with the subjects of our videos, and edit the videos. The task seemed daunting at first, but it was also a healthy amount of challenge outside my comfort zone. With the support of Callie, Abby, and Yael from REEL, we successfully carried out the project. The final video I produced is a great source of pride and joy (I’ve watched it at least 30 times now, and it never gets old). I learned about REEL through my school’s internship program. After reading the mission statement, I was drawn to the term twice-exceptionality. Prior to learning about the organization, I had never heard of the term before. I realized that many teachers and parents still lack awareness and understanding of this unique challenge. The goal of the “Ever Had a Kid Like Me?” project was to showcase the “humans” behind the label of twice-exceptionality and bridge understanding between parents and educators. Through this project, I essentially received a crash course on video production. I learned, for example, to never shine a ring light directly at someone’s face… and to always check the cameras to ensure they aren’t covered by a leaf… but I also learned many intangible things. Through my interview with Serena, I got a glimpse into her experience with navigating twice-exceptionality, as well as intersections with her identity. She discussed the Asian stigma around learning differences and labels. When she was finally diagnosed, however, she “felt a huge change from being demonized as a child to being like oh… I wasn’t the terrible person I was made to be or thought I was.” It was a deeply vulnerable interview, and I’m grateful that she was willing to share that with me. It didn’t occur to me how impactful her story would be until I finished adding the rolling credits to the video and watched it from beginning to end. As a closing farewell to my summer internship experience at REEL, I attended the “REEL IS REAL” party to celebrate the organization’s nonprofit status. At the celebration, I met many 2e parents. They all shared one common concern—their child’s learning. One parent shared a particularly moving story about overcoming difficulties during remote learning, which almost brought me to tears. It hit me then, that REEL is making a real difference. It’s not measurable by any numbers, but rather through the mutual understanding of challenges and triumphs among the parents standing there. I hope my video inspires a similar feeling of solidarity and shines a brighter light on twice-exceptionality in the broader community. Watch Christine's video here: Serena Chen is now a sophomore at Columbia University. Her middle school principal experienced an “aha” moment after reading Serena's REEL blog post about her ADHD diagnosis and shares insights looking back. Serena details her experience in middle school and high school as a student with undiagnosed ADHD and the roadblocks in her 2e (twice-exceptional) journey. Watch Aaron's video here: REEL partner and 2e parent Abby Kirigin and her husband Ivan discuss the start of her son Finn's 2e journey, when they first learned of his dyslexia and begun to understand what it meant to be 2e. Hear from Finn, now a 7th grader, and from his 2nd-5th grade teacher as they all worked together to find strategies for success. About the author Christine Z.: Christine is a current high school junior at The Nueva School. She’s curious about brain sciences and hopes to pursue a career in neuroscience or psychology in the future. In her spare time, she loves to watch and critique movies, play music, and spend time with her dog.

Or, how I learned to stop doing worksheets and love math A twice-exceptional high schooler recently completed an assignment to write a “mathography” explaining her relationship with math as well as how she saw herself as a mathematician and math student. Her “murderous” response highlights how easy it is to overlook math talent if the instructional strategies don’t match the student’s preferred ways of accessing and engaging with information. Narrative explanations of math concepts are a way to ignite a student’s interest and propel their love of learning. Plus, starting the academic year by having students write their own “mathographies” yields tremendous insights about how to support their mathematical growth. My memories of math begin with my first, much despised elementary school. I was taught math at about the level of complexity you’d expect: memorizing useless factoids, reciting times tables, and worksheets. So many worksheets. I detested math. And why wouldn’t I? As far as I was concerned, it was all just meaningless busywork. As I moved up through the grades, so did I move in stubbornness. Our school sorted us into three groups based on math ability; people told me I had enough skill for the first group, but I was just so obstinate, dragging my feet about doing the worksheets, that they knocked me down to the second group. I didn’t care. I genuinely could not think of a single real-world application for counting to anything further than six. (See note below on my thoughts on the number six.) Things changed on a dime on a certain Christmas day when I was 8. My parents got me a box set of math books for Christmas. You’d assume that it was the worst gift imaginable, and so did I at first… until I started reading them. It was a combination of the quippy wit the writing carried, the silly and often violent stories, and, strangest of all, the actual material. Almost instantly, I was hooked. I’d only ever seen the dull side of math before, and I thought of it as nothing more than that as a result, but the books showed me something else. They showed me clever puzzles and interesting trivia and math magic tricks. They showed me that math could be pretty neat. It could even be fun. Those books are called Murderous Maths, and they are brilliant. I could probably write a whole essay of its own on how fun Murderous Maths books are to read, and how much they appealed to me in particular as a reading-loving and kind of morbid elementary schooler who adored books about violence and murder and all those other things adults worried I wasn’t old enough for. But that’s not the important part here. The important part is that I binge-read the entire box set over and over and thus found myself with both a sudden fascination for math AND math knowledge several years earlier than I was supposed to have it. When I transferred schools at the end of third grade, I was given a math placement test and instantly shot up a good four levels, so that I was studying pre-algebra in 4th grade. In addition to standard math classes, my new school also offered “math circle” on Fridays, a special class where we played around with logic puzzles and the very rules of math. I found arithmetic and algebra didn’t interest me much, but I really liked chance problems, patterns in integers, and studying datasets. I later learned there were names for those: probability, number theory, and statistics. As it turns out, I’m taking a statistics class this year. And it’s pretty much my ideal class as far as math goes. That’s kinda neat. I can’t promise I’ll do perfect, but I’m hoping to have a good time, at least. And, not to commit murder of any kind. Note: Why six, you ask? When I was little, I distinctly thought of seven as the point where numbers get big. One through six seemed “small” whereas seven and onward were “BIG.” I don't know why I thought this. It's probably just arbitrary. I do really like 6, though.

We’re excited to launch our “Teaching 2e: Supporting 2e Distance Learners” blog series with tips and perspectives on how to successfully work with 2e learners during the Covid-19 pandemic. Are you a teacher? Then this series is chock full of practical ideas. Are you a parent? Review the series for yourself, since you’re likely to be more involved in your child’s education than ever; then, send the link to your child’s teachers! And, check out our downloadable 1-pager with even more tips and tools: What to Do? Twice-Exceptional Students and Distance Learning Every parent, student, and educator’s life was thrown into disarray with the Covid-19 pandemic. And it appears that we’ll all be on this rollercoaster ride for the foreseeable future. Given that, how do we make the most of the situation? We conducted a focus group with a dozen parents of twice-exceptional learners to identify what has and hasn’t worked about distance learning in the Covid-19 era. And then we aligned their feedback to our “Top Tips for 2e Learners” that we present in our popular “Intro to the 2e Learner” workshops. Let 2e Students’ Strengths Shine. “My child wasn't taxed by school rule compliance or social demands and had time and energy to pursue his interests.” “He struggles with writing so I found some Pokemon writing sheets that were appealing to him and allowed him to practice his writing.” 2e children often have deep passions and will go to great lengths to learn all they can about a special interest. Leverage the benefits of distance learning and student interests to help children grow in these uncertain times. First, connect with students and their parents to identify strengths and interests; consider starting the year by having every parent/child team fill out an interests and strengths profile questionnaire. Then, build on students’ strengths and weave in their interests to unlock their potential. Doing so may be easier than ever when children are learning remotely, because assignments can be individualized without taking the entire class off-track. Be Curious and Empathetic. “Live zoom calls were disastrous. He was overwhelmed and ended up curled up in bed keening for an hour after group classes where there was a lot of switching between people.” “Structured online discussions meant he could communicate his ideas after having the time to deliberate (to compensate for slow processing speed), and get his thoughts out uninterrupted (to accommodate speech fluency challenge).” Some 2e children love learning remotely. Others really struggle. There is always a logic to frustrating behaviors, so be curious about how new learning environments may be impacting students. Don’t hesitate to reach out to parents and students to learn what’s behind any unusual or difficult behaviors. Or before school starts, ask parents and students what did and didn’t work about distance learning in the past. Keep in mind what Ross Greene says, “Kids do well if they can.” Get proximal to the children’s experiences to understand how to support and teach them in these unusual times. Adjust Level to Asynchronous Development. “Written instructions and content materials meant he could go at his own pace, reread stuff he didn't get the first time, and skip through stuff he knew already.” “Office hours allowed the teachers to check in with my son and meet him where he was at.” 2e children don’t master every subject at the same level or pace. Their emotional maturity often lags their academic ability. With worldwide upheaval, some are regressing in their social and emotional needs; they suffer from the lack of structure and interaction that school provides to their fledgling executive function and social skills. Others have more time now to focus on high-interest subjects, and are thrilled to devote more energy to their passions, so may move ahead more quickly in learning than expected. Ride the wave with them and know that, if you show them you care, they will trust you all the more. Collaborate with Their Team. “Having the kids at home helped a lot of us gain better insight into what our kids' experiences have been like.” “I could see where my child struggled, support him, and learn tricks for next year's teachers.” Now more than ever, lean into the parent/teacher relationship. Because teachers won’t have in-person interactions to get to know their students, such as those informal chats that help them understand their strengths and interests, it’s important to build a strong partnership between school and home. Parents have increased exposure to how their children learn and can see firsthand what is and isn’t working, in particular with remote learning. Establish and maintain regular contact with parents through parent meetings (small groups or even one on one), parent surveys and polls, and email. And, because you’re not able to connect as much in-person with school psychologists, counselors, and behaviorists, keep them engaged with your 2e students. It takes a team, and no one should feel alone in their work with 2e students. Adopt Flexible Approaches. “Kids typically can get more done at school under the guidance of a teacher than on their own at home. And the pandemic created anxiety for everyone so kids weren't able to perform at their highest capacity - they were processing so many other feelings and emotions as their regular routines were blown up.” “We could spend more time learning in the way that best suited my child and skip over things that were too easy.” “Zoom meetings just aren't designed for kids who need to move around while listening.” Provide flexibility in how your students show mastery of learning. We are all experiencing more anxiety than usual, and this is even more true with 2e students. Everyone is learning how to do remote learning somewhat “on the fly” and adjustments may be needed to the workload along the way. With students working more independently, it’s easier to adjust assignments to each child’s learning, social, and emotional needs. Remove the pressure for students to perform in only one way by giving options for students to share their knowledge and growth; for example, let children choose between writing a paper, creating a movie, presenting a slideshow, or making art to show what they know. And, consider flexibility within instruction as well, such as allowing students to turn off their camera if they need to move around; with remote learning, it’s much less disruptive to an entire class meeting if a child needs to pace than it would be in a regular classroom. Plus, some students are distracted by or experience visual overwhelm with their own cameras, and it helps if they don’t have to see themselves. It’s okay to be flexible in helping be sure students are able to participate in a way that is meaningful for them. Teachers, You Matter! Teachers make a huge difference in the lives of their students. You don’t just teach students content - you connect to the broader world and serve as a role model for getting through the ups and downs of daily life. We’re all under stress, and perhaps none as much as you, our teachers. The more we all model and adopt strategies to stay calm, be present, and reflect on what is within our control, the better we teach our students how to work through adversity with compassion and respect for ourselves and one another. P.S. Special thanks to the REEL parents who contributed their time and insights to help create bridges between themselves and teachers in support of 2e learners everywhere. And to the teachers who give so much of themselves in service of their students. See also: Critical Success Factor: The Daily Schedule Benefits of Distance Learning for 2e Students Get email updates, join the discussion, find more distance learning resources