Video: Parent Talk - Designing an Authentic Path to Long-term Success
Ai Assisted Summary: Parent Talk - Designing an Authentic Path to Long-term Success At our recent event, Kathy Cordeiro from Art of Problem Solving joined REEL to share a practical framework for supporting twice-exceptional and neurodivergent learners. Rather than treating these students as puzzles to fix, Kathy encouraged parents and educators to start by understanding how a student actually processes information, whether they're reflective or a mover, visual spatial or auditory sequential, novelty seeking, or sensory sensitive, and to build from there.
A few key takeaways from the session:
See your student as a collection of strengths to nurture, not gaps to close.
Internal motivation (autonomy, mastery, and purpose) drives lasting engagement far more than external pressure.
Struggle plays a real role in building a capable brain, even in an AI world. AI can amplify a child's thinking, but it can't replace the reasoning capacity that comes from doing the hard work.
Progress matters more than perfection. Fluency comes through practice, not flawless execution.
Kathy also walked through how Art of Problem Solving's various program formats (in-person, online, and self-paced) can support different learners depending on age, subject, and learning style.
Watch the full recording above for the complete session.
Read the transcript
Chapter 1: Welcome and Introduction (0:00)
Kathy Cordeiro (0:00):Â Wonderful. I'm so thrilled to be here with you all this evening. As Teresa mentioned, my name is Kathy Cordeiro. I'm from Art of Problem Solving. I had the pleasure of presenting with Teresa at the Gifted Homeschoolers Forum, and I'm passionate about helping parents on their path.
So, who am I? I joined Art of Problem Solving in 2020, but I was actually an early adopter of the curriculum back in the early 2000s. I have two profoundly gifted sons, and, you know, every parent raising kids like this, I saw the message about kind of drowning there. We went into homeschool kind of kicking and screaming, because public school was really transitional for me and it was such a bad fit for my sons.
So I had to really learn a lot as I went through that process, and I started coaching math counts teams. I don't know how many of you are part of a math circle. They're usually free, and I love them. I facilitated the math circle at UT Dallas for over 15 years. I ran math competitions, so anyone who has questions about the whole contest track, let me know.
But I love helping parents on their path. I've spent my whole career guiding generations of students. In fact, I worked at camps that trained kids to go all the way to the International Mathematics Olympiad, and I think I'm on my eighth wedding now of officiating for kids who were at the camps.
Thank you, Laura, for the question about what is a math circle. Math circles are an Eastern European tradition. They're usually held at universities, where they match up kids with people who are really passionate about math, and it exposes them to curriculum that's just outside the standard, which works really well for kids on this twice-exceptional path, because they're exposed to math beyond just arithmetic, which is what they tend to get a lot of in the school system. A lot of times these kids are really kinesthetic, so you can just go to masscircle.org and see if there's one in your area. Thank you for that question.
So my first point is: there is no program I trust that says "follow these steps and all will be well," some cookie-cutter formula for every student, because it just doesn't work that way. I learned that homeschooling my own kids. You have to figure out how your student processes information, what puts them into a state of flow, and through that observation you can really find out what kind of learner they are.
My own kids' education story was not a straight line. We tried public school. That failed. We tried private school. We did a gifted school, which I thought would be great, and it was actually one of our worst experiences, because they knew "gifted" but they didn't change their approach for individual students and how those students process. As I mentioned, we homeschooled. We did online school. We hired different tutors and life coaches to help with executive function, found different mentors along the way, and were part of math circles, chess programs, music lessons, and summer camps.
Once I figured out how my kids processed information, choosing among those different options became so much easier.
Chapter 2: Know Your Learner — Processing Styles (5:07)
Kathy Cordeiro (5:07): How does your student process information? These aren't either/ors — think of it more as a slider scale. Really figure out what your student is doing when they're trying to learn. If you ask them a question, are they reflective thinkers, meaning they can't really answer until they go up into their mind's eye to think about it? You're never going to get an answer right away. Or are they movers?
My younger son was a mover. I ran a math club in an enrichment school out of my house for a number of years, and some kids could only explain things to me if they were running around me in a tight little circle. They process through movement. A lot of times, movers have a harder time with fine motor skills, and when they're in a school setting, they want them boxed in at a desk, writing. I had the privilege of listening to a woman who ran a school for twice-exceptional kids, and she had to train them on the "box" that was around them and what movement was acceptable within it. Luckily, at my school, the kids could just get up and run around and explain things to me while their bodies were in motion. I never had the mover kids relying on fine motor skills — I'd have them using their whole body on a whiteboard, on balance boards. My whole upstairs is covered in whiteboards so they could get their whole body into the process.
Visual spatial versus auditory sequential was wonderful information from Dr. Linda Silverman at the Gifted Development Center in Colorado. Visual spatial learners think in three dimensions. A lot of the kids in my math club who had dyslexia were incredible visual spatial thinkers — you could give them a Lego kit, take away the instructions, and they could just build it, because that's just where it goes. So when I was teaching them math, instead of working with formulas and systems, I did visual proofs with them, because those are three-dimensional proofs. If you have a kid with dyslexia, just Google "visual proofs." If you're teaching the Pythagorean theorem, it's way better to show them the visualization. There's also a resource called the National Library of Virtual Manipulatives that's great for kids to get a visual understanding of the math they're using.
But visual spatial kids operate in space, not in time — they hate timed tests. I couldn't even play tag as a kid because I can't stand somebody chasing me, let alone being chased by a clock. It might take them longer to learn something, but when they learn it, they really learn it for life, because they've put a pin in this map of truth — but three-dimensional space is a lot of space to get through.
Auditory sequential learners are just what it sounds like — that step-by-step kid. If you're an auditory sequential learner, someone could give you a list of ten steps to get to somebody's house and you'll get there the first time and remember every step. My husband is visual spatial — we went to a house together, then had to go back ten years later, and he was able to get there. I asked, "How do you even know where it is?" He said, "Because that's where it is." My brain just doesn't work that way.
In our math circle, we had kids who were novelty seeking — they're the ones who say, "Why are you making me learn this? I already know it." They want new material, and any kind of review is painful for them. I joke that the biggest four-letter word in homeschooling is "gaps," but a novelty seeker will actually backfill what they don't know because they want to keep moving forward. A needs-confidence kid is the opposite — they have to get three stars on everything, and they're the ones who'll have tears because they want to get everything right and perfect, tending toward perfectionism.
My advice to those parents: celebrate every time they miss something or get it wrong. If you can break them of perfectionism while they're home, it'll carry them much farther in college and beyond, where trying to get everything right is almost impossible and takes a huge hit on mental health.
In my math club, when kids couldn't solve a problem — not because they were missing something, but because they just needed another level of math maturity they hadn't reached yet — they'd beat themselves up trying to get it right. So I'd have them use the same technique physicist Richard Feynman used: he always had two or three unsolved problems in his head, and as he solved new problems, he'd apply those techniques back to the ones he couldn't solve. I'd have my kids keep a notebook for problems they couldn't solve — "yes, let's put that in the notebook, that's amazing" — and as their math maturity increased, they could go back and solve them. The confidence that comes from that is huge, especially for a needs-confidence kid.
The woman I mentioned who ran the 2e school coined the terms sensory seeking and sensory avoiding — I like them much better than introvert and extrovert. Sensory seeking kids tend to be diagnosed with ADHD more often — they want every sense on fire, they love stimulation, and they do well in environments with a lot of action going on. Sensory avoiding kids — often because of an underlying issue (I have hearing issues, I hear everything and therefore hear nothing) — need quiet. My house is completely quiet; I can't handle additional sound. I'm absolutely sensory avoiding, even though I'll get accused of being an extrovert, but I spend about 95% of my week completely alone working from home, and that's my favorite place. Those kids want to cut out all the extra input so they can actually think clearly.
Chapter 3: Defining an Authentic Path for Your Student (11:30)
Kathy Cordeiro (11:30): So how do you define the path that's authentic to your student once you have an idea of their style? Again, these aren't either/or — they can be a reflective, visual spatial kid who's sensory avoiding, but in some instances, maybe they're more novelty seeking depending on the topic. You'll go through an observation period as a parent to really figure out what puts them into a state of flow and how they process information.
I love a structure I found in a book — I believe it was Seventeen Equations That Changed the World — where the author separated each chapter using a Latin phrase: veni, vidi, vici — "I came, I saw, I conquered." So "I came" is what a person's early life and environment were like, "I saw" and "I conquered" are how those things came together. But lists of three are very linear thinking, so I added a fourth dimension for reflection: vixi, meaning "I lived" — because as parents, especially as our kids grow and develop, they change. So you go back to that observation period and figure out what they know, how they process information, and how that might have changed, so the student and the environment stay matched and the student can be their best version.
That means instead of looking at our kids as a collection of weaknesses to be fixed, a collection of gaps, it's best to look at them as a collection of strengths to be nurtured — and then feed those strengths to help in areas where they need more fluency. It's such a subtle shift, looking at kids as a collection of strengths instead of gaps, but it decreases burnout and frustration, because it becomes less about the kid and more about the environment and the subjects they're learning.
I love the portmanteau "coopetition" — cooperation plus competition — used by FIRST Lego League. Instead of comparing themselves to other kids around them, they realize everyone around them is helping them learn, because if your student is the smartest kid in the room, they're in the wrong room. They want people to challenge them.
I already mentioned the notebook for unsolved problems as a way to help with math phobia especially — instead of a student thinking "I'm good or bad at math," it becomes about the process, not about them. I'm a huge fan of process over outcomes. Our school system has so much of a race to an end result — you have to have a 4.0, and kids put that pressure on themselves too. With twice-exceptional kids especially, you're already trying to figure out how to work with your student's strengths to help them navigate, because a lot of parents just want to follow a formula. The main thing is to try to create an environment where the student can think clearly.
I get asked a lot about how to tap internal motivation. Research says motivation requires autonomy, mastery, and purpose — the ability to work on your own, to dive into a topic and reach a certain level of fluency, not an end result of "mastery," but that fluency, seeing it as part of a bigger fabric so you have purpose and curiosity. That means setting the right tone — not focusing on what score you got, but on getting a little bit better every day, and it's not about perfection.
I'll share this slide deck at the end — I have a great article linked about the "full potential trap," because there's always that drive as a parent to want your kid to live up to their fullest potential. It sounds noble, but it's a bottomless pit, because there's no measure to being human. We want our kids to know we love them for who they are, and we'll help them be their best versions without worrying about perfection.
Chapter 4: The AoPS Mission (16:32)
Kathy Cordeiro (16:32): With all of this, I believe problem solving is the key. I love the AoPS mission, which is to discover, inspire, and train the great problem solvers of the next generation. Obviously we've laid our cards on the table — problem solving is the way to go — but it applies to all topics and all areas of life, especially in this world of AI we're entering. How do you train a student to deconstruct a problem to most effectively reach truth? It's not about just racing to answers.
So you learn a student's style, then you find their development path. "Discover," in our mission, maps to the elementary school level. I don't know how many of you have heard of the trivium — a system developed 3,000 years ago by the ancient Greeks and Romans to answer the question: how do you prepare a mind to navigate an uncertain future? That question is still the same, regardless of AI or other technology breakthroughs.
At elementary school age, kids are discovering how they think and how they process information. The trivium calls that the grammar phase — the foundation, the building blocks they need to get to the next level. Can AI do that grammar phase better? Absolutely — but if they don't have that foundation, they have nothing to build on. In neuroscience, the elementary school brain is at peak pattern absorption, which is why kids can learn languages so much more easily at that age, pulling in so much information from their environment.
By middle school age, in our mission, that's when we're ready to inspire them, and in the trivium, that's when they develop reasoning and logic — it makes sense, because neurologically their reasoning networks are actively forming connections. Cross-discipline curriculum is so important at that age, to bridge between the nodes. So much of our education system puts subjects into individualized buckets — you learn algebra, you learn geometry — but what about geometric inequalities? Is that algebra or geometry? We need to help kids reason across disparate topics.
By high school age, kids start to really take the reins of their own education, and you can start training them in earnest. In the trivium, that's the rhetoric phase, where they have the wisdom to express themselves clearly, pruning the complex networks they've built and synthesizing information.
So how do you develop talent? This is a list that applies to any curriculum, not just ours: know your kid's learning style, know where they are on their developmental path, and find programs that promote critical thinking. We're in a world where answers are a commodity and the real currency is in questions. If you can help your kid ask good questions, that means they need to understand the "why" and the "how" behind what they're learning.
Chapter 5: How the AoPS Approach Develops Talent (20:00)
Kathy Cordeiro (20:00): I loved the AoPS curriculum when I started, because even just the textbooks are designed so the kid is constantly asking questions. Teresa mentioned starting with Beast Academy — the characters in our elementary school program, presented in a comic book format. It actually works well for kids with dyslexia, partly because of the kerning of the font, which helps with reading, and partly because of the comics themselves. The characters have dialogue about math, because at elementary school age kids may not know what questions to ask, so they see these characters modeling curiosity and questions about a cool problem.
What do I mean by a problem-based curriculum? It means multiple steps to reach a solution, as opposed to exercises that are just one step with no creativity. A lot of our program uses puzzles to teach math concepts, which appeals to visual spatial kids and allows for more creativity than "follow these steps and all will be well." We want kids to have that productive struggle, which helps them in every topic.
Our CEO once spoke at our math circle about the "tyranny of 100%" — such a horrible metric. At Art of Problem Solving, at every level, even on placement tests, if your student gets 65–70%, they get a green bar — they're doing well. In school, that's a D. But we don't care about the grade; we care that a green bar means you're solid on those topics, and an orange bar means you need more practice there. So instead of "you're good or bad at math," it's "here are your areas of strength, and here's where we can build more fluency."
We want kids to not just run an algorithm. So many programs say "when you see this kind of problem, do this" — in language arts, that's the five-paragraph essay. There's zero magic in five paragraphs; it doesn't require literary analysis or understanding your audience, it's just a formula that doesn't really matter. We want kids to apply the strategies they've learned to solve problems they've never seen before. Even in our language arts curriculum, we take a problem-solving approach starting with philosophy, because you can't write if you can't think, and we want that strong foundation.
Process over grades, again. Grades are great — who doesn't want to be told they're doing well? But they can be a real demotivator. We want to focus on effort and enjoying a cool problem, so kids can flourish even when executive function may lag, because a lot of these kids are brilliant but don't turn in their homework. I had to let that go completely with my younger son — he struggled with grades when he went back into the school system, even though he loved learning and was doing the mental effort, it just wasn't translating to grades. When his executive function caught up — his senior year of high school, after life coaches and all sorts of support — he went on to graduate summa cum laude in college. I never would have predicted that based on his middle and high school performance. It was really gratifying to see.
Chapter 6: Thinking in an AI World (24:23)
Kathy Cordeiro (24:23): I bring up AI because it's everywhere now. Neurologically, struggle builds the physical structure of a more capable brain, and we need to make sure our students are doing that. Going back in time — the first time we went into cognitive surrender as a society was with the invention of GPS. I literally don't know where I exist in space anymore; I have no idea how to get anywhere without it. But it's a very human thing to know where you are in the world and how to navigate it.
When researchers looked at the brains of London cab drivers — before Uber, when GPS first came out — they had more cortical folds, and when tracked over time, cases of Alzheimer's were almost non-existent among them, because they had to memorize "The Knowledge" — every street and side street in London — without GPS. The more we give in to cognitive surrender, the less capable our brains become.
So kids will say, "If AI can do math better, why do I do math? If it can write my essay better, why should I write it?" Because AI amplifies your intent. A child who wants to build reasoning capacity and uses AI to learn will find AI becomes a multiplier. But a child using it to give in to cognitive surrender, as a substitute, will pay a cost for that substitution.
[Responding to a chat comment about productive struggle and kids who shut down and only want to play games:] The games on Beast Academy are incredibly learning-rich — those puzzles are pattern recognition and spatial reasoning. They were developed by a puzzle constructor who won a world puzzle championship. It's a certain way of thinking to solve those, and honestly I'd argue those puzzles are more applicable to the problems kids need to solve in tomorrow's world than just following a formula, because it's pattern recognition — seeing things that aren't there. If it were just a frivolous game, I'd agree that's a problem, but I teach a lot through gaming myself, and I love games.
[Responding to a question about anxiety and perfectionism:] That's a real challenge, and it's why I like celebrating every time a kid gets something wrong. With math contests, we'd do a diagnostic afterward to see what problems kids got right and why — was it the algebra, the topic, the way it was written? And for problems they got wrong — did they misread it (which is huge for these kids — "I know what it's saying" when they actually don't, because they didn't underline key words and rushed too fast)? Are they missing foundational knowledge? Did they run out of time, because visual spatial kids will over-obsess on one problem and never get to the others?
Another exercise I'd use with anxious kids: write out four columns on paper — what do you know about this thing, what don't you know, what can you control, what can't you control? This gives a kid agency in their own life. For something like the SAT: you know you can study, you have resources and books. You don't know that you'll do badly, or that it will ruin your life if you don't do well — you don't actually know that. You can control how much sleep you get, eating well, exercise. You can't control being sick that day. What's interesting is the "know" and "can control" columns end up much longer — that's their agency. The "don't know" and "can't control" columns are the catastrophizing list, and it's usually shorter. It's a phenomenal exercise to help kids see what they can actually do.
We want kids to understand how to view problems and curriculum — to look at what's missing, to observe, rather than just optimizing what already exists, because all AI is a statistical summary of the past. Twice-exceptional kids think differently — they're outliers in the data. They may come up with an idea, put it into AI, and AI will say "that's not a great idea, I've never heard of it" — not because it's a bad idea, but because they think differently. We have to help them understand how AI is built so they trust their own thinking.
Chapter 7: Program Formats and Modalities (31:33)
Kathy Cordeiro (31:33): This is a quick chart of Art of Problem Solving's program offerings. The main point: when you're looking for an environment for your student, find the modality that matches how they learn. Sensory avoiding kids may like an online, no-video program, so they can cut out extraneous noise. Sensory seeking kids may want more in-person instruction or video. Kids who are "burst learners" — way ahead in class, then slower — do well with self-paced courses. Don't be put off by the 30–60 class size number for online, no-video classes — for every 20 kids, we add more instructional staff, so it's still very back-and-forth.
We're not raising racehorses. If you've got a kid blowing through math because it's a strength, I really recommend depth and breadth. The US system has this race to calculus, and that's all most high schools offer — so a math-accelerated kid can run out of math with nowhere else to go. That's part of why I like contest classes: contest problems cover four areas — algebra, geometry, number theory, and counting and probability. These are discrete math topics — the math of modern computing, and the world these kids are going into — so contests are a very efficient way to cover that ground.
If you've got a visual spatial learner who hates being timed, they won't like most math contests, since almost all are timed. There are exceptions — the Consortium for Mathematics and Its Applications runs middle school and high school math modeling competitions done with a team over a period of days, not under a strict clock. So there are other options, but knowing those discrete math topics matters for the world these kids are heading into.
Chapter 8: Closing Thoughts and Q&A (34:22)
Kathy Cordeiro (34:22): Finally, embrace what makes us human. Find curriculum where students can connect information, be creative, innovate, and pivot and adapt. We're not raising racehorses — don't just race toward calculus, but take time to explore depth and breadth in the topics they enjoy.
I love the idea from Designing Your Life (there's also Designing Your Work Life) — a design approach looks at the strengths of a system and builds on those, as opposed to an engineering approach, which is "here's a laptop hinge, how do we make it open and close 10,000 times without breaking." We don't want to engineer our kids or break them. We want humans who have the ability to wonder why and maintain their curiosity.
I appreciate your time. I'll find the link for the math modeling contest and drop it in the chat. Please stay in touch — this is a passion of mine. I'll put my personal email in the chat as well; I'm more than happy to talk with parents about their particular students.
Thank you all so much.
[Host]: That's fantastic, thank you, Kathy. There's a lot there — I might have some questions myself, but let's open it up if anyone else has questions.
End of recorded session. Q&A continued beyond this point.
