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We at REEL are excited to collaborate with Barbara Pape, Senior Director of the Digital Promise® Learner Variability Project, as a guest blogger for this two-part series on supporting the twice-exceptional. Through our DEAR REEL model , we focus on the the importance of connection, flexibility, strengths, and supporting behaviors of the 2e, all of which are also core to the Learner Variability Project , a resource we often recommend to educators and families as they seek practical strategies to support differently wired learners. As the parent of a twice-exceptional learner herself as well as a researcher and practitioner, Barbara brings many insights to better understanding the twice-exceptional learner profile. This first part of her series focuses on her son’s experiences in the K12 journey, as well as the history and barriers that twice-exceptional learners and their educators face. The second part of the series, Bridges to Opportunity, outlines the key strategies to support the twice-exceptional, in particular as educators think about ways to address the range of learner variability present in any modern-day classroom. To craft this series, Barbara also interviewed several 2e adults and their parents about their educational experiences. During his preschool and kindergarten years, our son, Anthony, relished telling us stories that we would write down and then he would illustrate with spot-on detail. In first grade, he was thrilled to hear that his class would participate in Writer’s Workshop despite his unconventional pencil grip and stunningly inaccurate spelling. His teacher helped by having him record his story or taking his dictation. Masterfully, she made sure each student in her room had a strength that she publicly recognized. One student was awarded the “Spelling Champ” and would assist classmates if they had trouble spelling a word. Anthony enjoyed generating story ideas, so he was awarded the “Idea Kid” and if a classmate had difficulty coming up with something to write about, Anthony was the person to engage in a brainstorming session. We knew by then that Anthony had dyslexia and began to grasp his remarkable abilities–ranging from a vast vocabulary to an uncanny grasp of storytelling and advanced understanding of science. We were fortunate to have a brilliant teacher guide him through his first grade year. A Very Brief History of 2e While initial awareness of people who manifest both high strengths along with learning disabilities began in the early 20th century, it wasn’t until the mid-1980s-1990s that the term “twice exceptional (2e)” began to gain traction. Major research that was released addressed 2e students, including landmark studies from researchers such as Whitmore, Tobin, Gallagher, and Baum. These cumulative research efforts elevated the needs of students who required customized services to address strengths and scaffolding to allow them access to knowledge and opportunity.  Policy action followed, including the U.S. Department of Education’s Jacob Javits Gifted and Talented Students Education Act of 1988 . Among other statutes, the Act funded program development for underserved students that included gifted students with disabilities. Grants and the creation of several district-level programs (primarily on the East coast) were designed to provide those opportunities for students who were 2e. At the time, our son was in the Montgomery County (MD) Public Schools district, which had a strong gifted and talented and learning disabilities (GT/LD) program and team, and he benefited from the county’s Wings Mentor Program . While students with learning disabilities are covered under federal law 94-192, IDEA, that includes the Individual Education Program (IEP), there is no equivalent federal law for students identified as gifted. However, since 2007, denial of services could be considered discriminatory and deemed “inconsistent with Federal law (Section 504 and Title II) that require qualified 2e students be given the same opportunities to compete for and benefit from accelerated programs and classes as given to students without disabilities” and State law, which varies across the country, covers gifted students and their education (Reis et al., 2014, p. 218). For a concise history of twice exceptionality see Baldwin et al. (2015) Twice-Exceptional Learners: The Journey Toward a Shared Vision  and, Reis et al. (2014)  An Operational Definition of Twice-Exceptional Learners: Implications and Applications .  Who are Twice Exceptional (2E) students? Definitions of 2e have been modified over the years, but this one from The 2010 Commission on Twice Exceptional Students is the most comprehensive (Reis et al., 2014): Twice-exceptional learners are students who demonstrate the potential for high achievement or creative productivity in one or more domains such as math, science, technology, the social arts, the visual, spatial, or performing arts or other areas of human productivity AND who manifest one or more disabilities as defined by federal or state eligibility criteria. These disabilities include specific learning disabilities; speech and language disorders; emotional/behavioral disorders; physical disabilities; Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD); or other health impairments, such as Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). These disabilities and high abilities combine to produce a unique population of students who may fail to demonstrate either high academic performance or specific disabilities. Their gifts may mask their disabilities and their disabilities may mask their gifts. According to the International Dyslexia Association (IDA), about two to five percent of school-age children are 2e, although some reports put the percentage higher. Yet, many 2e students are misdiagnosed, ignored, or receive inadequate intervention in either their gift or their disability. This especially holds true for students who are from historically and systemically excluded (HSE) populations. To illustrate, state and national exams find a growing gap at the top of the achievement scale between advanced students from low-income backgrounds and those with more financial advantages and, also, between white students and students of color ( National Association for Gifted Children ). Barriers to Opportunity “Teachers teach what they are taught.” That’s what a superintendent on a panel I moderated said when asked why many teachers are not engaged in the science of reading. Her comment applies to 2e teaching and learning, too. Teachers who are not exposed to courses and research  that can help them identify and address students who exhibit clear strengths and challenging weaknesses present a barrier to opportunity. Far too many teachers are introduced only to the deficit thinking associated with learning disabilities, which can lead to labeling, stigma, and stereotype threat. Some adults view having these “deficits” and being “gifted” as a conundrum, leading to comments from a teacher at Anthony’s middle school for gifted youth, who told us, “I’ve never seen a smart kid who can’t read.” Reis and colleagues discuss the “uneasiness” about recognizing the contradiction of giftedness and learning disabilities as based on “faulty ideas and stereotypical images associated with giftedness and disabilities, such as the belief that if you struggle with reading, you cannot be identified as gifted” (Reis et al., 2014, p. 223). Misunderstanding of young 2e people and their asynchronous development is common. Parent of 2e children and neurodiversity expert,  Amanda Morin , herself was an undiagnosed 2e learner during her school years. From her perspective, simply being recognized as gifted left her unprepared to “walk into a world” that is more diverse and at the same time filled with others who also are gifted. A barrier she often encountered with her children and was constantly asked, “Well, you're so good at this…why can’t you do that? You just aren’t trying hard enough.” Or, the pointing of fingers by some who believed that only if the parent could “get the child under control” there would be no problem. An example of asynchronous development that Amanda points out about her son: “He could do advanced math in his head, but didn’t have the language skills to explain how he got there. His emotional regulation skills were lacking and developmentally behind his math ability.” Amanda’s son, Jacob, who is autistic and identified as gifted, recalls how his highly inquisitive nature often got him in trouble. “They didn’t know how to deal with my constant questioning. If something didn’t make sense, or if I questioned how something was presented, even though none of it was done out of malice, teachers became wary of me. They presumed I was always doing something wrong and made everything a behavioral problem with detention as the only solution.”  Lack of a solid educational foundation in teaching students who are gifted with learning disabilities also exposes the inability to identify these students. A student’s strength can often mask their weakness, while a student’s weakness can mask strengths. I remember the difficulty explaining to some educators in Anthony’s early years that, even though his comprehension level seemed high, he required a formal evaluation of his reading. I could see that while he’d miss a lot of words, he was able to “power through” by relying on his deductive reasoning, vast vocabulary , and background knowledge  to decode reading passages. Anthony struggled with phonological awareness , a foundational reading skill essential to reading success and the ability to advance to more sophisticated text. “Seeing” 2e Learners The broader 2e definition (noted above) provides guidance in identifying these students, but it still remains complex for sundry reasons, including the co-occurrence of indicators, challenges of strengths and struggles masking one another, and the emotional interplay that may be distorted due to either the student’s strength or challenge.  Stevie Mayes, Executive Director of Michigan’s Council for Exceptional Children,  found testing instruments to be a student barrier. When Stevie was young, their mom initially served as their advocate; she knew Stevie was quite bright and also dyslexic. In high school, their accommodations were taken away because they did grade level work. The school only felt responsible to support Stevie in reaching grade level standards, rather than helping them grow their strengths and interests. Stevie felt frustrated, and still does, that their acumen in science was never recognized. While teachers gave them A+s in classroom work, their standardized test scores were low and Stevie was kept out of advanced placement science, despite teachers arguing for them to be there. “My low test scores stifled my academic growth in science, and that was frustrating.” Turning lemons into lemonade, when their IEP and accommodations were removed, Stevie learned and honed self-advocacy skills to stand up for what they needed to achieve their potential. Other barriers exist. For some educators, personal bias  can lead them to ignore gifted curriculum and acceleration options. Also, students from under-resourced communities may also be overlooked, especially given that they typically cannot afford expensive private assessments and tutoring . And, too often, even when teachers want to provide for 2e students, they do not have the time, support, or professional learning  to do so. In a  2019 Learner Variability Project National survey , nine in 10 teachers, about eight in 10 Americans overall, and three-quarters of parents say that teachers don’t have the support they need to focus on students’ learner variability. Most say teachers’ time and professional learning opportunities are lacking as well. Those results mark a broad gap between what the public wants, a focus on each student’s learner variability, and what they believe schools are able to provide. Anthony and Jacob both mentioned the difficulty they see when a teacher has 25+ students in a classroom and doesn’t have the support they need to customize for students, especially those identified as 2e. All three former students wondered if teachers had the professional development or undergraduate college experience that could support their efforts to engage 2e students. Respondents to REEL’s 2024 Silicon Valley Educator Survey agree with the lack of opportunity to prepare to teach these learners. As one commented, “It would be so helpful to have PD for teachers who have these students. Often these students are their least favorite, but in reality they might be the most capable in the class.” Another shared, "The diversity I have found in the classroom is the greatest challenge. Students have multiple labels and needs. Trying to reach them all is an everyday struggle. Yet, the one thing I can do to support these students is to broaden my understanding of their unique needs." It’s clear that teachers need more support in addressing learner variability in the classroom, including their twice-exceptional students who are so often misunderstood or overlooked. What is learner variability? It is an evidence based concept that recognizes “each of us go to school with a backpack filled with very different experiences that we draw from to master content, create meaning, work in groups, share our voice, and achieve our potential.” These factors of learning are holistic, interconnected, and can change according to context. For more information: Learner Variability Is the Rule, Not the Exception  (Pape, 2018). Ready to learn about effective strategies to support 2e learners by acknowledging and supporting their learner variability? Check out the second part of this series: Twice Exceptional: Bridges to Opportunity . For more information, including on the Learner Variability Navigator, contact: Barbara Pape, Senior Director of the Learner Variability Project at Digital Promise, bpape@digitalpromise.org Digital Promise is a trademark of Digital Promise Global, registered in the United States and other countries, used with permission. Click here to see the list of the citations in this article.

By Callie Turk, Co-Founder, REEL It’s estimated that there are four times as many boys diagnosed with autism as girls; but researchers believe the incidence may be closer to three to one if only autism in girls were better understood (Ratto, 2020). This has massive implications for our ability to provide important early intervention services for girls who could benefit from them. If you listen to stories from females who have been diagnosed with an autism spectrum condition in their teens or even later, it is clear that they have experienced years of suffering, neither understanding themselves nor being understood by others. Many have been misdiagnosed with other conditions, such as eating disorders, and endured severe bouts of anxiety and depression before finally receiving a long overdue autism diagnosis. Which is why a recent post in one of my 2e (people who are bright and have learning disabilities such as autism spectrum conditions) Facebook groups grabbed my attention: For those of you who have 2e daughters or identify as 2e and female yourself, do you wish there were more resources specifically focused on 2e females? Hat tip to the incredible Julie Withrow for this question, which sparked a heartfelt and meaningful conversation for many parents in the group with 2e daughters. The answer? Yes, we definitely wish there were more resources. Here’s the thing. I’m the mom of a 2e, autistic teen girl. She was identified as gifted at age 8 and diagnosed with autism at 12 ½. Looking back on the journey, though, the signs were there. The skin picking, the social challenges, the sensory issues, the passions. But, as a generally well-behaved girl with a high IQ and mad writing skills, it was easy not to see. Too easy. Because the DSM-V and all the representations of autism in our society don’t reflect the female experience. Julie Withrow is the mom of a 2e daughter as well and is answering the call for more resources by launching a podcast called Exceptional Girls ( www.exceptionalgirlspodcast.com ) later this spring. I felt this same pull in a grad school class I took through the Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity in Education in the fall of 2020, working with classmates to create a presentation called Neurodiversity through the Female Lens. As soon as I saw Julie’s post, I reached out to her to say “let’s connect!” I wanted to share all of the resources and research I’d gathered to help propel her journey forward. And then, I wondered, why haven’t I shared this list already? Wouldn’t people in our REEL community also be interested in this topic? And what resources might our community also know about? Shouldn’t we crowdsource some of this? So, without further ado, we present the Females on the Spectrum references list , with information on books, videos, articles, research papers, and conference presentations centered on this important and yet often overlooked topic. We’ll soon work on resource lists for Females + ADHD and Females + Dyslexia. Understanding the true nature of our children’s challenges and identifying their unique strengths provides the information we need to help them chart a pathway for life. And girls deserve to understand themselves and be understood as much as boys every dang day of the week. Reference Ratto, A. B. (2020). Commentary: What’s so special about girls on the autism spectrum? – a commentary on Kaat et al. (2020). Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry , 62 (1), 107-109. https://doi.org/10.1111/jcpp.13284

“Help, I am freaking out! Will my child ever get into, let alone graduate, from college?” When our 2-e kids are little, we put a lot of effort into finding the best-fit school for them, and we are not afraid to change if the fit isn’t right. In many ways, we need to approach college in the same way. The good news is there are many more options for college-bound students than elementary and secondary school students; for the right college, students can potentially go anywhere in the country or even the world. Additionally, college-aged kids have a lot more agency. They can assert their preferences more vocally, exercise autonomy in decision-making, and actively engage in their own perseverance and achievement. “That sounds great, but all I hear is that college is ridiculously hard to get into.” There is a lot of noise around college admissions, which can be scary. If you listen to the news or social media, you may think that students need straight As, perfect SAT/ACTs, and many extracurriculars, including volunteering and sports or band, etc., to get into a “good” college. One may think, wait a minute, my child is brilliant but still gets Bs and even Cs, or my child doesn’t have the energy for extracurriculars, they still need to take mental health days, they will never sit for a standardized test, my child only wants to study (______) fill in the blank , or even my child never remembers to take their meds, and still struggles to make friends, etc. How can my child possibly succeed in this world? Let’s look at the college landscape. There are over 4,000 2-year and 4-year colleges in the US. Of the 2,500+ 4-year schools, only about 115 have a less than 30% admit rate. Fewer than 10% have an admit rate of less than 50%  Almost 20% have an admit rate greater than 90% Closer to home in California, we have an excellent and expansive 3-tier public higher education system, including nine undergraduate University of California institutions (UCs ), the state’s primary academic research institutions, and 23 California State Universities (CSUs).  Selectivity, programming, support, and campus culture vary significantly across the system. In addition, there are more than one hundred California Community Colleges with excellent transfer programs to both the UCs and CSUs. The UC system has a system-wide commitment of a 2-1 freshman-to-transfer ratio, and  ~95% of UC transfers come from California Community Colleges. California is also home to another 150 or so private non-profit colleges and universities.   “Well, it sounds like there are options, but that still leaves the question: can my child succeed in college? What types of supports are available?”   Success in college largely depends on finding the right fit – this is true for neurotypical as well as neurodiverse learners. What most people may not know, especially those looking at colleges for the first time, is that there is a vast range of options available.   Let’s talk about accommodations and campus support. The laws covering post-secondary education differ from those covering K-12 education, so the level and type of support can vary. Colleges accepting federal money must adhere to the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and the Rehabilitation Act, Section 504 E, and offer basic accommodations to create “access” to the curriculum, housing, and campus activities, but not necessarily student “success.” At some colleges, students may have access to many of the same accommodations they had in high school; however, many high school accommodations will not carry over. Each campus's Office of Disability/Accessibility Services will make these decisions. (Note: students will not be eligible for curriculum modifications in college.) If we think about a continuum of support,  at one end, we have campuses offering basic accommodations. Examples of Common College Accommodations Classroom Accommodations Extended time on exams Breaks during tests Alternate (reduced distraction) testing sites Use of laptops for tests/exams and note-taking Use of calculators for tests and exams Use of spell checker Note-taking accommodations (permission to record lectures, have note taker) Access to assistive technology (audiobooks, text-to-speech, voice recognition software   Additional Accommodations Priority registration for courses Reduced course load  Course substitutions (especially in math and foreign languages) Housing accommodations (e.g., a single room or in a specific location) Service and assistance animals At the other end of the spectrum, we have schools with very specific structured programs to support students one-on-one with LDs or ASD. Often, there is a fee for these more comprehensive programs. The University of Arizona SALT Program is one of the most well-known; nearby, we also have the UCAM program at Southern Oregon University. If you are open to looking farther away, there are many other programs nationwide. Programs can vary from college to college in terms of their focus (ADHD, autism, dyslexia, etc.), level of support, and cost. Landmark College in Vermont and Beacon College in Florida are two colleges dedicated to exclusively serving students with learning differences; at these two colleges, comprehensive support is intentionally designed into their academic and residential programs. Structured Support Program Offerings One-one coaching one or more times a week Specialized tutoring beyond what is offered to the general student body Small group programming (academic, social, and vocational skill building) Social supports Peer Mentors/Campus Allies Behavior modeling Specialized social events Special housing (students may live together/co-adjacent) Pre-orientation programming Between basic support and structured support programs, a third cluster of colleges and universities offer more comprehensive support and programming than the basic, but not to the level of the structured support programs. There is a lot of gradation in terms of the level of support across these schools.   “Let’s cycle back to the colleges for a minute. Beyond accommodations, is there anything we should look for?”   Absolutely!  As for any college-bound student, 2-E students should be looking at the whole range of characteristics of fit, such as academic programs, campus size and location, social and extracurricular opportunities, etc.  2-E kiddos are much more than their disabilities. The mission, culture, and academic and social programming can all make a difference. A school may not offer structured or comprehensive support but may still be a great fit. For example, there are what I like to call the “warm hug” schools. These are schools that offer a supportive environment to all students. These tend to be the smaller liberal arts schools that offer smaller class sizes, robust advising, and accessible and engaged professors. The 2-E student may be less likely to get lost in this environment. The Colleges that Change Lives (CTCL) website is a good starting point for looking at these schools. Another consideration could include the emphasis and flexibility of the curriculum and general education requirements; can students focus on the subjects that interest them? Can they minimize the requirements in areas that might be impacted by their disability, such as math or world language? Some students may look for programs emphasizing experiential or hands-on learning and/or co-op programs, while others seek research opportunities or discussion-based classes. The structure of the academic calendar can also be influential; students may prefer a semester or quarter-based system or even a block schedule where, depending on the school, students take 1-3 classes at a time in a condensed time frame. Finally, the campus culture and extracurriculars can play an important role for 2-E students; students will thrive in an environment where they can find their people and engage in extracurricular activities that are important to them.   “Wow, we have covered a lot of information! Is there anything else you would like to add?”   There are many opportunities for kids who want to go to college and whose mental health is in a good place; it is important to know that there is no one model or way of doing things. Like our kids, the college programs are not one size fits all. Help your student figure out what they need to be successful, help them learn to advocate for their needs, and then look for schools whose programs and supports align with these needs.  Don’t be discouraged if your student’s path is not straight or if your student needs to take a year off before or during college; you are playing the long game, and a year or two isn’t going to matter. The world is changing, maybe not as fast as we would like, but it is changing. More schools are recognizing and supporting neurodiverse students and students with learning differences. About the author   Helen Amick was born, raised, and educated primarily on the East Coast; she moved to California after business school to begin a career in strategy consulting almost 30 years ago. Helen is now a committed Californian but has strived to raise her three kids to be “bicoastal.” She has two kids in college (one on the East Coast and the other in the Mid-Atlantic region), and her third is a senior in high school, winding down his college search. Helen completed the UC-Irvine Independent Educational Consultant certificate program and is launching her career as an Independent Educational Consultant; she is passionate about helping all students, including those with ASD or LDs, find their best-fit college. She can be reached at helen_amick@yahoo.com .

Successful classroom environments are not born; they are made. They have been intentionally designed to address many different aspects of children's needs. The 5 Elements Model is a framework for thinking about classroom design. It provides teachers with five lenses by which to consider their classroom from varying perspectives - social, emotional, intellectual, creative, and physical - in order to provide a safe and successful classroom environment for twice-exceptional (and all!) students. It was originally developed by Dr. Susan Baum, Chancellor of Bridges Graduate school and a leader in twice-exceptional education. More information can be found in her 2017 book, To Be Gifted and Learning Disabled . While originally meant as a guide for teachers, the 5 Element Model is a valuable resource for parents as well. It is an excellent tool for framing thinking as parents evaluate school options. As a parent researches a school, it will be helpful to keep these 5 elements in mind, and consider how the school addresses each one. SOCIAL A successful social environment will be one where the classroom has become a community. Teachers foster love and belonging, and promote random acts of kindness. When the students feel safe and share empathy for one another, teachers are able to encourage productive risk-taking. Questions to think about from the Social Perspective Do all students feel safe to participate in the classroom in a way which is comfortable for them? Do students display care and empathy for one another? EMOTIONAL The classroom should be a space where students’ emotional needs are met. Students should have a feeling of psychological safety, and efforts should be made to keep anxiety low. Teachers and students should have an appreciation for differences and feel empowered to be themselves. The classroom should be a community which practices positivity, where SEL is woven into lessons and all aspects of the day. Questions to think about from the Emotional Perspective Do students seem confident enough to express their individuality? What is the school’s SEL curriculum, and how is it woven into different aspects of the students’ day? Do students appear anxious and competitive, or cooperative and safe? INTELLECTUAL Successful teachers of twice-exceptional students are patient, intelligent, and flexible. Students need the ability to feel safe while also being challenged intellectually. Ideally, this manifests in the teacher providing high challenge and low threat opportunities to students. The teacher should model being a lifelong learner, and should encourage students to take risks. Students should have choice and variety in how they show what they know. Questions to think about from the Intellectual Perspective Do students have choices in how they show what they know? Do students have choices in how they learn the material? Are students given pre-assessments, and are those results used to determine their appropriate starting point and level of challenge? Do teachers show enthusiasm and facility for their material? Are students given opportunities to focus on and develop their strengths and interests? CREATIVE Creativity is a core strength of many twice-exceptional learners. Their classrooms should be a place where teachers foster and appreciate each student’s creative approaches to learning. Creativity should be integrated into the learning process, where students are encouraged to come up with their own ideas and provide their own perspectives. The environment itself should be engaging and provide interest, while also not being overstimulating for the students. Questions to think about from the creative perspective Does the teacher seem to encourage creative solutions to projects and problems? Does the teacher invite students to give their perspectives on topics? Does the classroom itself inspire a creative mindset, including art, desk arrangement, color, etc? Is there a maker space on campus, or an area in the classroom with a variety of materials for children to creatively explore? Is time scheduled into the day for students to pursue their creative interests? PHYSICAL Finally, the physical environment should be a space which supports individual sensory needs, through things like frequent breaks, fidgets, alternative seating, and opportunities for movements/exercise throughout the day. The classroom should have conscious layouts - teachers should have carefully considered interest areas, reading spaces, and access to natural and adjustable light. Consideration should be made to the impact of sound, and the classroom should include areas where a student can go when they want to be away from noise and distraction. Finally, all necessary accommodations for safety needs are met. Questions to think about from the Physical Perspective Are students using fidgets (without distracting others!), and are some sitting in various alternative chairs/seating? Are the students given frequent movement breaks? Are there distinct spaces in the classroom for quiet reflection, interest zones, movement areas, etc, and are all children encouraged to use these? You know your child better than anyone else! Consider which of these five elements is most important to your child’s success, and what you are hoping to see through each lens. Highlight your ‘must haves’ and your ‘nice-to-haves’. Remember, there is no perfect fit school, but by using these lenses as a framework, you can evaluate what environment can work best for your child, at whatever stage of development they may currently be.

Hey Fellow Parent! Have you ever wondered what it is about school accommodations that make them such a touchy subject? I mean, until my oldest daughter started having trouble in kindergarten, I didn’t even know school accommodations existed. But, man, over the past twelve years, I have had to become somewhat of an armchair expert on school accommodations and the process in which to get them. My two very different, multi-exceptional daughters have required some very creative approaches to education. We have tried a number of different types of schools: public, alternative-public, specialized private, and even boarding schools. But, no matter where they were going to school, some sort of accommodations were still needed for my girls to be successful. Developing the right accommodations for each child was not so much about the particular child as it was about that particular child in that particular environment. Over the years, parents have asked me what I would recommend when asking for accommodations for their twice-exceptional (2e) children (those who have high abilities and learning differences). Since 2e encompasses so many different flavors of unique gifted+ kids, I usually suggest that parents instead understand a few important concepts about school accommodations and the process. Once parents have a handle on these concepts, developing appropriate accommodations for their particular 2e child will be more focused and individualized. 1. Your kid is awesome This is the one thing you need to remember if and when it all goes to pot. Take it from me, I lost myself in years of “shoulds”, trying to bend myself and my child to accommodate the desires of the school. We were trapped in a cycle of what other people thought (most often focused on my kids’ biggest weaknesses) and stopped recognizing the awesomeness of our 2e child. Parents need to ask themselves this question: “When I look back at today 15 years from now, what is the most important thing I want to remember about my child’s educational journey?” Hint: strive for their joy. 2. Your children are children Whether they are 6 or 16, the time that your child has been alive, let alone talking, walking, reading, and writing, is relatively short in comparison to the adults trying to dictate their worth. Adults can get caught up in life and forget that they were once children themselves. Adults sometimes lose sight of the fact that kids are not small adults here to follow rules or serve as a source of social media pride. Our insecurities are not our children’s insecurities. Our job is to be our children’s biggest cheerleader and support them along their journey through childhood. 3. Establish a good working relationship with the school Remember that each year there will be new members on your child’s education team. You and your child are the only known constants year after year. It will probably be necessary to distribute information on twice-exceptionality to your child’s team and, specifically, your child’s particular 2e “bent”. Assume that the school knows nothing about twice-exceptionality. Most importantly, and I can’t stress this enough, be nice. There may come a time when the school digs in its heels, refusing to accommodate your 2e child in a way you believe is right. Those old adages about flies and honey will become extremely relevant. It is possible to be both kind and firm–which leads me to my next point. 4. You are an equal member of the 504/IEP team I don’t know why this is, but I have found that many schools are all in on not accommodating each child as an individual. Schools may tell you things like, “Your child doesn’t meet eligibility or your child’s scores are not low enough to qualify for services.” But, remember, you are an equal member of your child’s team. If you aren’t sure about what the team is suggesting, ask clarifying questions. Do your own research to make sure you know the law. You are your child’s best advocate; your child is counting on you. 5. Never go to an IEP/504 meeting alone If you are super stressed out, you are not yourself. Make sure to bring someone with you to all of your meetings with the school. It doesn’t need to be a paid advocate or someone who knows the system (although that is super helpful). Just another supportive human being to listen and take notes. Having a second set of eyes and ears will help you debrief the meeting and organize the next steps. We know that our 2e kids don’t learn as well when their anxiety is high, so why would we be any different? Plan ahead and bring a friend. 6. Accommodations are fluid Many parents think that they need to ensure that all of their child’s accommodations are perfectly listed on the initial IEP/504. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Accommodations are fluid. The IEP/504 is a living document. Depending on the type of status (504/IEP), modifying the accommodations list may be as easy as sending an email to the administrator in charge. Some school districts will tell you that an accommodation that you have suggested doesn’t allow for learning. Don’t let them bully you. Remember, this is your child and the final decisions are yours. 7. Asynchronous development is just that, asynchronous Twice-exceptional expert Dr. Susan Baum talks about 2e kids being 5-10-15 at the same time. What she means is that a child may be 5 years old in social skills, 10 years old in chronological age, and 15 years old in academic achievement. (Some 2e kids have this stratification in just one subject like Language Arts: 5 in writing, 10 in reading, and 15 in critical thinking.) This type of development will require accommodations that both accelerate learning in one area and scaffold learning in others. Understanding asynchronous development may be one of the most challenging areas to communicate to the school team. For many years, strength areas have not been considered when developing accommodations for students. But, tapping into your 2e child’s strengths to balance their potential challenges is a natural solution to oftentimes complex issues. 8. Work toward strengths & dual-differentiation Dual-differentiation is when a child is able to work to their strengths and be accommodated for their challenges. Watch your children doing different activities in different environments. When are they at their best? What do they like to do? By focusing on what they do well, you can write accommodations that will be strengths based and specific to them. Making sure you discuss the dual-differentiation needs for your 2e child and accommodate for both their strengths and challenges lays the groundwork for your child to thrive in their school environment. For non-preferred subjects, the school should allow connections to your child's current interest areas as entry points to bridge to the lesson objective. Twice-exceptional kids should be able to delve into advanced concepts even if their lower level skills may not have been mastered. For example in math class, the school should allow for alternative problem solving if it results in correct answers. Or in English class, a student who is a great writer but struggles with attention and visual processing could use high-interest graphic novels to encourage intrinsic motivation in the writing process. 9. It’s not about compliance Be careful of accommodations that focus on behavior and compliance. Many twice-exceptional students have sensory differences and executive functioning challenges that look like defiance. Also, many 2e kids don’t see the difference between adults and children, so adults may view them as argumentative. But, accommodations should not be punitive. Accommodations and interventions should not be designed to make your child more like their (more compliant) non-2e peers. Rather, they are meant to ensure that your 2e child can access the curriculum in an equitable manner. 10. Be specific The more specific your child’s accommodations are, the better it is for everyone involved. In some situations, accommodations suggested by the school district come from a boiler-plate, drop down menu in a software program. It is important to do your research and ask questions if you are confused or have concerns about the school’s suggestions. Better yet, come to the meeting with your own specific suggestions. Some examples might be: Instead of “use of a calculator”– “use calculator on all tests and assignments.” Instead of “assistance with notes”– “receive a copy of the teacher's notes prior to class” or “provide a dedicated note taker.” Instead of “50% extra time to submit assignments”–“no penalty for late work”. Or, suggest that teachers offer a choice board in which all of the students have the opportunity to show their knowledge through their strengths. 11. Put it in writing Phone calls and Zoom meetings are great and important to discuss accommodations in real time, but make sure that you follow-up with an email. Everything should be written down. Since the accommodations are listed on a legally binding document, a paper trail is key. If this is not your strength area, recruit someone to help. 12. Teach Self-Advocacy Finally, it is important to talk to your child about their accommodations. Being an advocate for themselves will ensure that your 2e child gets what they need at that moment and throughout their lives. Some teachers and administrators may not like it when a child self-advocates, but it is your child’s right under the law. Our 2e kids are not trying to be difficult; they are asking for equity. When both the teacher and the student understand the accommodations, using them becomes a seamless process. That’s it! I know that was a lot. It wasn’t meant to overwhelm you into just throwing in the towel. Understanding these basic concepts will reduce your anxiety. Remember that your kid is awesome and that you are an incredible parent for continuing to advocate for their joy. Twice-exceptional kids are all unique individuals. However, what they all share is that they are gifted students who deserve to access their giftedness in school and the best way to do this is to advocate for timely, individualized accommodations so that they can reach their potential. You’ve got this. Gabrielle Additional resources: Accommodations for Anxiety Assistive Technology Tools for Learning Differences, ADHD, and Executive Function Challenges Master IEP Coach Directory Dual Differentiation- Susan Baum About the Author: Gabrielle Boles is currently a doctoral student at the Bridges Graduate School. She is a 20 year veteran of the California higher education system primarily working with marginalized and underrepresented students. Her current research interests include the perception of gifted/2e outliers and identifying internalized bias in the classroom. Gabrielle lives in a comically twice-exceptional house with two teenage daughters and a husband.

Did you know girls are commonly overlooked, undiagnosed, or misdiagnosed when it comes to learning differences such as ADHD, autism, and dyslexia? Join us to learn what the research says about this phenomena, its impact on K12 education, and what career paths might work best to better address the needs of neurodivergent females.

When you suspect your child needs help, or just received a diagnosis, knowing where to start can be confusing and overwhelming. Founders of Parent Resource Advisors, Carmen O’Shea and Lauren Meltzer, took us through a " Road to Resources" for your Twice Exceptional (2e) child of how to sort through the incredible array of available resources for neuro-assessments, OT, speech, academic support, gender diversity, and more. They walked through real life scenarios, including how to decide what to do first, what to do if you have time but no money or money but no time, and how to navigate private and public schools. Transcript Below: Welcome & Introduction So again, welcome everyone tonight to this meeting of the REEL group. For those of you who are new to our group, we are an advocacy group based here in Silicon Valley. We focus on building bridges between twice-exceptional students, parents, and their educators. We're always looking for ways for parents and educators to work more effectively together to support twice-exceptional learners. I'm guessing since you're here, most of you probably know that twice-exceptional learners are kids who are both very bright, creative, or have high potential in a particular area—but also experience a learning difference or disability like autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, or dyscalculia. They often have a lot of anxiety because of the experiences they have in school and just feeling quite different from other kids. We actually have two presentations coming up on Saturday. I'll put information about that in the chat for anyone who might be interested in joining. One is looking at neurodivergence through the female lens, and the second is our "Intro to the 2e Learner" presentation for parents. We'd love to see familiar faces there too, so please join us. Then we'll be about ready to take a little bit of a break and start planning again for our fall speaker series. But keep an eye out for other events through the summer—we might host something or put out a survey that we'd like people to answer. We are excited that you're here and hope that you will enjoy tonight. I will end the whole and hand this over to All to introduce our speakers. Just a reminder to please mute when you're not speaking and put any of your questions in the chat. 🟣 Poll Results Here are the poll results: "Where are you on your journey to find resources?"Can everyone see those? Nope—let me share them.There you go. It looks like we have a wide array of people in different parts of their journey Meet the Speakers We have two speakers tonight who are the co-founders of Parent Resource Advisors. The first one is Carmen O'Shea. She is a former business executive now working to build leadership and engagement in a variety of purpose-driven organizations. She is the Head of Communications and Leadership Development at Synapse School in Menlo Park, where her kids currently attend. She is a board member of the East Palo Alto YMCA, a community advisory board member for the Stanford Cancer Institute, and a consultant for the Trotter Collaborative for Social Justice at the Harvard Kennedy School. She is also a school liaison for the Children's Health Council (CHC) in Palo Alto and was co-chair of the school PTA last year—so she's very bored. Carmen is a graduate of Harvard College with a major in Social Anthropology. She was an Air Force officer for seven years while starting her career in business. She loves to travel, learn languages, meet new people, music, and dance. Lauren Meltzer has spent most of her career helping others understand why people think and act the way they do. After earning a Master's in Technology and Education from Harvard University, she spent over a decade working with children and parents as an educational designer and producer of educational software and websites. She served for five years on the board of Performing Arts Workshop, one of the oldest performing arts nonprofits for youth. She also spent a decade as a producer and host for local public radio stations—KQED, KLAW, and KPFA. Simultaneously, she used interview and research skills to help consumer-based public and nonprofit companies gain consumer insights. In 2016, Lauren took a midlife gap year while living in Malaysia with her family. She mentored a Pakistani refugee and wrote for an expat online publication. Once back in the States, she pivoted and studied coaching and energy leadership at the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching. She now specializes in life transitions and works with people who are embracing change. In 2019, she co-founded Parent Resource Advisors to help parents who are learning to embrace the joys and challenges of having neurodiverse children. Welcome Lauren and Carlos! Speaker Remarks Thank you so much, Cali. We really appreciate it. You guys are amazing—the resources you provide to parents and the communities here. We're both very honored to be speaking here tonight. Just give me one second—I'm going to share my screen. Hopefully this will work. Good, everybody? I thought maybe we would start with quick intros about our kids, since we are probably first and foremost moms above everything else—of 2e kids. I have two pretty unique kiddos. My older child, who is 12, is a trans boy. That has been a really unique and interesting journey over the last five years with him. Born a female, he has been identifying as male for five years. My younger, just-turned-11-year-old son is diagnosed with combined-type ADHD. They both test gifted, so I'm kind of in the middle of this "Oh my gosh, how do I handle all of this?" They probably both have manifested anxiety at different times too, for different reasons. I just remember at the start of all of this—and it goes way back with my ADHD kiddo, probably to when he was five or six—I remember how overwhelming it felt. How tricky it was thinking about all the different resources. Where do I start? What do I do? I kind of slogged my way through it. I have a bit of a research orientation anyway, and so it actually helped me to get down in the middle of everything, put together a plan of attack, and have things to focus on. That’s one of the reasons why, when I met Lauren, we decided, "Hey, let's do this together." Lauren, do you want to talk about your kid? Lauren's Story Sure! Before you do—Lauren, can we ask you to go into present mode so that your screen is just a little bigger? Some people aren't comfortable in present mode, so I don't want to pressure you into it. No problem. Let's see... how do I do that? Over here... I see it up at the top. There we go. Is that better? Yes, much better. Now we can see the words. Thank you. Sorry, Lauren! Oh no, no problem. So yes, I have an almost-14-year-old—like, within a week she'll be 14. She is a 2e girl. She is gifted and yet has some challenges with this... well, a lot of "disses." Her ADHD is probably her main thing, and then dysgraphia is probably second. It’s made her the kind of kid that, because of her strengths, sort of floats below the radar. For me, having to spend most of her years knowing something was up for her—knowing she had challenges—but not really having teachers see it has been the thing that made parenting a 2e kid a little challenging in the early years. Then finding the right resources for her—people that really got the 2e—so thank you so much, REEL, for doing what you're doing. Lauren and I found each other when both of our kids were at Synapse. We realized that there were so many people having similar journeys to us. Wouldn't it be great if we could leverage our expertise from the parenting journeys we've had, along with our research backgrounds and love for helping parents, to start Parent Resource Advisors? We're so excited to be able to share some tips with you today. More Speaker Remarks 🟣 What We’ll Cover Absolutely. And I think in the interest of time—and because we wanted to make sure there's broad relevance to folks on the line tonight—we're just going to give you a flavor for the kinds of things to think about when you're doing research and assessing resources on your own. The caveat is that we're most well-versed with school-age kids, probably not as much with college-age and beyond. Although our kids are getting there little by little. So we'll stick to general suggestions. But if anybody is interested down the line in collaborating with us, we're also very happy to personalize and work with you. 🟣 What We Heard Okay Lauren, so it's interesting—when we started our business, these were the kinds of things we started to hear. I don't know if any of this resonates with you: "My son keeps complaining that he's really stupid, but we know he's not." "Homework is torture. I sit and wonder every day what will really get done." "Instead, she'd rather read a book—which she can do in a few days." "He doesn't have any friends, but the teachers think he's fine." "Something isn't right with her, but we just can't pinpoint what." And then we would hear: "What should I do?" Yeah. How do we help? What we heard is that people are often not sure where to start—or even if they should start. A lot of times people maybe have an inkling that something's going on, but they're like, "Do I really get an assessment? Do I really need to go that far? How's the child going to feel about that?" Sometimes people are also processing themselves. Both Lauren and I went through some really tricky times—and honestly, probably still do—about: Are we doing the right thing for our child? How do we process this? This is a challenge. Both kinds of "e"s are challenges. And sometimes, honestly, you wish maybe the issues would go away. You're not sure who to trust. 🟣 Starting the Journey We were doing it with our friend group a lot, and so we decided, “All right, let's give it a whirl.” Indeed, there are many incredible resources out there. But when your child is 2e, the help they need can be more complex, fuzzy, or even masked by their strengths. This is what we saw. So—where to start? Where to Start No matter how old your child is or what you think is going on, the first thing you really need to do is be a detective. You want to document and talk about what's happening—documenting the challenges, but also remembering the strengths and documenting those too. Partner with those who are seeing your child in different kinds of environments, like teachers and pediatricians. But mostly, one thing that's super important is sticking with your gut. You really know your child, and this knowledge and intuition can sometimes supersede even what you hear from specialists. Keeping some kind of journal—using a Word document, keeping notes and observations—can be super helpful when you're first beginning. There are also a lot of online learning and support groups. If you can, keep them in mind with caution. It’s a great way to double-check with other parents going through similar things—whether your intuition is right and where to get ideas. But the big next step, from what we see, is deciding how and where you're going to get some kind of more formal assessment. Whether it's a neuropsych exam or something that comes in a more piecemeal way from schools or centers. 🟣 Neuropsych Evaluation Carmen: Yeah, so let's talk a little bit about the neuropsych evaluation, which you may or may not be familiar with. This is oftentimes a general nuts-and-bolts assessment done by a professional psychologist—usually in a team—to really look at what is going on with your child. We'll get into what that is in a minute, but there are pros and cons to doing assessments. Based on some of the things we've seen and heard over the years, here's our take on it. ✅ Pros of Assessment If you undertake an assessment for your kiddo, you can often get the attention that you and your child need. Especially in bigger classes, their needs may be masked or not identified or recognized as such. You get a chance to work with experts who do this for hundreds of kids. A lot of times, this is their bread and butter—they assess and evaluate many kids all the time. They get really nuanced at understanding the challenges kids are facing and whether something is a diagnosis or not. They can answer lingering questions and provide clarity. A lot of parents come to us and say, “We just feel relieved. Now there's a diagnosis. We understand. We get it. We can go read about it. We can learn.” It may or may not normalize things a bit—for you, your family, your friends. It can open up the door to getting support. For example, insurance tends to be more likely to pay for therapy or social support groups if there is an official diagnosis. It’s often easier—Sharon probably knows this super well—to get services at school, particularly public schools, if there's a diagnosis. Evaluators can help advocate for accommodations your child might need. ⚠️ Cons of Assessment Private assessments can be quite costly. They run a wide gamut of costs. There are assessments done by public schools, which can be good in some cases. But regardless of whether you pay out of pocket or not, time is also a factor. It often takes a long time to get in with these folks, then a long time to get through the assessment, and even longer to receive the report—months in some cases. Meanwhile, you're waiting for the diagnosis and recommendations. Some parents feel concerned that having a diagnosis—a label—might stigmatize the child or family. In my case, with my younger son, we worried about him feeling victimized. We debated for a long time: Do we tell him he has ADHD or not? Clearly, the school needed to know, but it was a discussion around whether to explicitly get the diagnosis and then share it with our kiddo and broader network. Unfortunately, some private schools don’t want to accept kids who have challenges—or perceived challenges. They can pick and choose. So sometimes, if there's a diagnosis, people ask us, “Should I disclose this when applying to private schools?” I always lean toward transparency, but it’s something to consider. Finally, think about whether getting the diagnosis is absolutely necessary at this point. Sometimes, as parents, you may have a feeling there are challenges—social issues, hyperactivity, sensory issues. There are steps you can take without necessarily getting the full evaluation. These can be addressed in parallel or even later. 🟣 What the Assessment Looks Like If you do go the route of the assessment, what does it look like? It’s a multi-step process and generally consists of: A pretty extensive parent interview Child observation—at home, sometimes at school Child testing—usually IQ testing is part of that if it hasn’t already been done Questionnaires completed by parents and teachers A comprehensive written report with any applicable diagnoses A set of recommendations for next steps and potential providers A post-assessment discussion with parents to read out findings There are definitely things to think through as part of that process—tips to prepare and ensure you have the most thorough and effective experience. 💰 Cost Considerations Costs can really run the gamut, especially for private assessments. Sometimes insurance will pay, sometimes they won’t. Sometimes you have to fight. Many places in the Bay Area don’t take insurance, so it becomes an out-of-network expense—only partially covered. Some providers, like the Children’s Health Council, offer sliding scale payment options for evaluations and even ongoing therapy. ⏳ Scheduling Considerations Scheduling can take a long time, especially at certain times of the year—end of summer, fall, back-to-school season. Watching your kid struggle in the first month or two of school can make it feel urgent, but these clinics tend to get really booked up. 🏥 Types of Providers Some professionals and clinics offer just evaluation services. Others—especially bigger organizations like the Children’s Health Council or Sutcliffe Pediatrics—offer both assessment and ongoing therapy. Think about whether you want a one-stop shop or prefer to do this in two different places. 🟣 Private vs. School-Based Assessments Private pay generally tends to be a little bit more comprehensive and therapeutic-focused—like broad-scale—than school-based assessments. That’s not to say school-based assessments can’t be very accurate and helpful. They can. But in my experience, the school is really trying to direct that experience and contextualize it to the school environment. That’s where the kid is showing up, and they’re working with them. So it’s maybe sometimes a little bit less “soup to nuts” than some of the private assessments might be. But again, it totally depends—on the school, the provider, and the kid. 🟣 Real-Life Example We want to try to sprinkle in some real-life situations—people we’ve worked with—to give you a little more color in terms of what we’re saying. I wanted to share with you about a girl I met a few years back who was going to a public middle school. Her parents were noticing some emotional dysregulation. The dad was pretty convinced he was just seeing normal puberty—“She’s going to grow out of it. This is what it is.” Mom had a different opinion. She was pretty sure something else was going on. They were a little concerned about whether to put money into this or not. In the end, they first decided to go to the school, because they were able to get an evaluation through the school. While they didn’t think it was academically related, they were able to have her assessed from an emotional regulation perspective to see if she would qualify for a 504 or IEP. The school came back with a diagnosis of ADHD. That seemed great—except some of her actions kept seeming like a little bit more. The mom had been reading articles and wasn’t sure she had the full story. She ended up getting a neuropsych exam with a psychologist who knew a lot about girls. The final diagnosis was that there was some ADHD, but also some autism. That explained a ton. It was super helpful to have that, even though both parents were concerned at first about the stigma and how their 12-year-old would take it. Autism is still kind of a loaded word, even though we’re learning so much about what it is and isn’t—and how it can actually be a very positive thing in a lot of ways, especially for girls. They found that once they were armed with this information, it was super helpful in terms of getting her the right help and positioning it the right way. As she went through high school, she really started loving herself and grew with it. I thought that was a really nice story—seeing how different kinds of assessment paved the way for her in this case. Let me know when you're ready to share Part 3, and I’ll keep formatting it in this style! What comes next So here we are. Now you’re either post-assessment, or maybe you decided not to do one for the moment. The question is: What comes next? A lot of things we hear—for example, in Lauren’s case—there may be more than one diagnosis. So if there’s more than one, where do you start? Do you try to tackle it all at once? With twice-exceptional kids, as many of you know, sometimes the gifted part may come as a bit of a surprise—or maybe the extent of the giftedness comes as a surprise, or the way it’s manifesting. Do you address that in addition to the challenges—the other “e”? As I mentioned before, do you look at one place, or do you try to find the best-fit provider for every specific need the child has—based on chemistry, best fit, accessibility? There’s definitely a trade-off between convenience versus precision—and really finding a fit for your child. It also may depend on what’s a priority for you. For example, we’ve seen a lot of people place a priority on finding providers—either behaviorists or therapists—who are really good at advocating for the child and family with the school. By that, I mean they’re willing to sit down and work on accommodations, help the school (if it’s public) understand: Is it a 504? Is it an IEP? If so, what are the specific things they’re going to do? In some cases—like at one point, we had a behaviorist who would actually help coach the teacher on specific things that helped. At one point, when my kid was young, they even had a walkie-talkie kind of system going. Of course, the teacher has to be open to that—it depends on the teacher. But if that’s a real priority, that might be what you want to focus on when looking for a provider or ongoing therapist. 🟣 Support Beyond Therapy It’s also important to look at help beyond just therapy. A lot of times, support groups can be helpful—both for the children and definitely for the parents. The whole concept of taking care of your own mental health needs—your own anxiety and stress in this process—cannot be stressed enough. It’s challenging. It’s difficult. And it’s difficult in the best of years—never mind a pandemic year. So look at that. Look at online resources. Some people prefer local providers. Others say, “We’ve gotten used to Zoom—we just want the best-fit therapist, even if it’s virtual.” Local or not is something to consider. We’ve talked about this before—time of year, waiting lists. One way to get around this to some extent—and we’ve counseled clients to do this—is to parallel process. If there are two or three therapists you think might be the right fit, reach out to them. Figure out their availability. Keep checking in. If they say no or “not right now,” but their caseload may decrease in a couple months—put that on your calendar and check in with them. She who asks—or he who asks—is going to get responded to. These are all things to consider when you’re ready to take action. 🟣 Giftedness We’d like to shift gears and talk through some of the exceptionalities that may come up—and that some of your kids may be demonstrating. Just some things to think about or take away based on our own experience with our kids and clients. The first one is giftedness. All of you have 2e kids—clearly giftedness or being super bright is a given. Interestingly, giftedness sometimes shows up across multiple domains and across the board—but more often than not, it shows up asynchronously. The child is super ahead of the curve in a particular area—like math or verbal reasoning, maybe processing speed or memory—and then falling behind in something else. Interestingly, with a lot of our clients, what we’re finding—or what they tell us—is: “My kid actually tests average or even above average, but because the gap between the average and the crazy-out-here giftedness in another domain is so big, it actually feels like a deficit to my child—even though it’s not.” That perception—and handling that perception—is something important to consider. 🟣 Leading with Strengths It’s easy to jump to addressing the challenges. While that may be absolutely critical and important, it’s also important to focus on the strengths and lead with them. If the kid does something amazingly well—that’s awesome. Let’s commend them for that. Let’s make them feel good. Because a lot of times, self-esteem issues come into all of this. I have an example of a client we worked with—a highly gifted boy, especially in math, struggling socially and behaviorally in a traditional private school. He ended up moving to a twice-exceptional school—the Burkhart School, which some people may be familiar with—and he thrived. There are therapists on campus there. It allows his gifts to shine. So there’s a lot to think through when addressing the giftedness question. The school question is a big one. It’s on a lot of parents’ minds. To what extent do we need to change the environment to fit the kid versus working with the kid to fit the environment? That’s definitely something to think about. 🟣 Honoring and Challenging Giftedness When my kid is ahead of the pack in something, how do you honor that? How do you challenge them? I don’t know about you guys, but a lot of times—especially with my ADHD kid—if he’s not challenged, if that side of him isn’t fed, it actually makes the ADHD worse. He just can’t focus. He gets bored more easily. Whereas if he has something to attend to, and he’s having to focus and feels challenged—mentally and academically—it’s generally less of an issue. 🟣 Differentiation in Schools Differentiation can look different, especially in different school environments. In some traditional private schools, you may get individual or group differentiation. You might see high, medium, and low groups—though they’re not called that. They’re usually color-coded or labeled as math groups, reading groups, etc. In non-traditional schools—like Synapse, where Lauren’s child and my kids go—the way they differentiate is by going deep. They don’t necessarily give the kid extra work. Instead, they say, “If you’ve already done this, show us how you can do it another way.” Go deeper. Explore. They can do this in parallel with multiple kids because there are two teachers in a classroom with maybe 15 or 20 kids. That kind of differentiation might be possible in that setting. There are also extensions—at any kind of school or in homeschooling. There are all sorts of ways to continue bringing knowledge and keeping the child engaged. 🟣 Public School Differentiation In public schools, especially elementary, there’s not a whole lot of formal differentiation until middle school—particularly in math. But it’s highly dependent on the teacher. My fourth grader, who was in public school last year in Menlo Park, had a great teacher. She was able to finesse allowing him to go further. When she saw him getting squirmy and antsy, she’d have him come up and read something to the class. She was differentiating both on the gifted part and preemptively on the challenges part. So much of that goes back to your advocacy as a parent—and your partnership with specialists, experts, and therapists who can help advocate for you and with you. 🟣 Types of Giftedness Giftedness can show up in different ways: A child might have brilliant verbal reasoning and the vocabulary of a 20-year-old. But if they’re a slower processor—even relative to their verbal abilities—it may not be a challenge in the classroom. They might need time to think through things and go deeper at home. My older child is a little bit of an inch deep and a mile wide. He processes extremely fast. He gets bored. He doesn’t want to go deep—he just wants to move on to the next thing. We worked with his teacher to say, “When he finishes something, can you have three more things ready to give him?” Just keep him engaged. He was coming home saying, “Mom, I’m bored. I already did that. I wrote the story. I even iterated on the story. Now I need something else.” So keep in mind: the way giftedness shows up—and what domain it’s in—really makes a difference in terms of what you might want to do in the classroom or at home. 🟣 Giftedness Beyond Academics Giftedness can show up in many domains outside of strictly intellectual ones: Kinesthetic Musical Emotional There are children who are amazing in so many different spheres of their lives. We need to find ways to honor this—at home and at school. The key is remembering that asynchronous development is normal. It’s okay. Let them lead from their strengths. I think Cali would agree—it’s pretty key, even if not in school, to get them around their intellectual peers. Whether it’s an after-school activity, an online class, or something else—so that in some context, they feel excited about things. 🟣 Social Challenges The next area is social challenges. I specifically don’t say ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) because one of the key points here is that social challenges are not automatically equivalent to ASD. Sometimes they are—but they could also be a function of: ADHD (shows up differently) Personality (like introversion) Anxiety Processing speed (slow processors may not engage socially as productively) You have to tease it out. This is sometimes where a neuro assessment can come in handy. 🟣 Social Skills Groups There’s a wealth of information and choices in this area. Lots of providers offer social skills groups. Michelle Garcia Winner’s “Social Thinking” is a well-known framework. Another group we’ve worked with is Developmental Pathways for Kids in Redwood City. They focus on integrated play groups—pairing novice learners (kids with social challenges) with neurotypical learners in a facilitated way. Other iterations involve multiple kids with social challenges facilitated together. It depends on what you’re looking for, what you want out of it, and the chemistry with the facilitator. There are lots of good choices locally. 🟣 Individual Therapy and Parent Support Individual therapy is also an option—especially for: Pragmatic speech deficits (difficulty using language appropriately in social situations) Perspective-taking There are many online resources for both parents and children in this area. Behavior therapy may also help—especially parent-directed therapy, where parents learn to engage with their children and reinforce what they’re learning with the therapist at home. Examples: Facilitating a playdate Bringing in friends or family members to help Bringing in teachers for support Involving your therapist team at school These are all strategies to support social development. 🟣 ADHD This next area is near and dear to my heart: ADHD. One big question we get from parents—almost the first thing out of their mouth—is: “Should I give my kid medicine or not?” If you’ve got the ADHD diagnosis, the follow-up is: “When do I do it? What kind of medicine?” It’s really important to consider working with a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists and pediatricians are the only ones who can prescribe ADHD medications. Often, the psychiatrist is a different person than the ongoing therapist or psychologist. There are professionals who specialize in psychiatric medicine management for ADHD. 🟣 ADHD Medication Journey (Continued) We tried four different kinds of medicines over about two years before we settled on his current one, which is a little kinder and gentler on him. He really felt like he was still himself—just able to focus better and regulate his feelings more effectively. It takes a while to understand the nuances of ADHD medication. Honestly, we relied on our pediatrician probably for a little too long. The pediatrician is amazing in every other realm, but sometimes this takes nuance. When we finally went to a psychiatrist, the first time we talked to him he said, “Whoa, you’ve tried medicines in that class? Okay, but there’s this whole other class—these other things to think about. You’ve only scratched the surface.” We breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, we’re going to find the right one.” That’s something to really think about. 🟣 Executive Functioning and ADHD There’s also CBT—Cognitive Behavioral Therapy—for ADHD. But in many cases, almost more important is the concept of executive function. How does the child organize themselves across different realms—emotionally, academically, interpersonally? Especially as middle school starts to hit, how do they handle all the different assignments, teachers, platforms like Schoology? It gets overwhelming—for any of us—but particularly for kids who are behind in executive functioning. Many people say one of the main deficits of ADHD is executive function. Brain development is often a couple of years behind. Sometimes it catches up, sometimes it doesn’t. Some people have ADHD for life. Thankfully, there are good workarounds and tools available: Executive function (EF) coaches Online resources Specialized schools (though most focus on autism or dyslexia—not ADHD specifically) ADHD often includes a behavioral component, so you may need help from the school to manage behavior both at school and at home. 🟣 Public School Success My younger child ended up in public school for several years—successfully—with scaffolding: A 504 plan Plenty of accommodations Texting and back-and-forth communication with the teacher I signed up to be room parent—it helped Social challenges can look different with ADHD. Kids may: Put their foot in their mouth Overshare Get too close physically to friends It’s important to find therapists and resources that address ADHD-specific challenges—whether social, executive function, or otherwise. 🟣 Gender Differences in ADHD ADHD can show up differently in boys versus girls: The dreamy, inattentive girl The hyper, whirling-dervish boy It’s not always that way, but it often shows up at least in part that way. Mindfulness and other strategies may help. There’s a lot to consider when navigating this diagnosis. 🟣 Sensory Challenges Another area many 2e kids deal with is sensory challenges. These can range from excitabilities to sensory processing disorder (a traffic jam in the brain), or just being highly sensitive. In all these cases, different senses may be: Oversensitive or undersensitive Seekers or avoiders There’s a lot you can do as a parent, and you can also get help from outside resources. 🟣 Occupational Therapy Occupational therapists are the first line of defense. They help regulate and calm senses through: Activities Weighted, comfortable, secure areas Brushing Sensory integration Children typically go once or twice a week and receive at-home activities to support regulation. 🟣 Support Groups and Environmental Adaptations There are support groups for parents. Parent Place is a great resource for finding these groups and getting tips. Environmental adaptations are also important. Sensitivities can cause anxiety. For example, my daughter was really sensitive to wind on her face. We learned early on that we couldn’t just throw her on a bike ride and expect her to enjoy it. It wasn’t the biking—it was the wind. Each child is different. Figuring out their triggers is super helpful for them and for you. 🟣 Products for Sensory Support There are many products available online: Chewy items (instead of chewing clothes) Brushing tools (for calming the skin) These can provide relief and reduce anxiety. 🟣 Mental Health Support Mental health is often comorbid with other challenges in 2e kids. The good news is: there are many ways to get help. School therapists Organizations like CHC (Children’s Health Council) Individual therapists One-on-one and group supports (especially helpful for teens) Parenting support is also important as part of the therapy process. 🟣 Therapy Access and Stigma Some people shy away from therapy for two reasons: Stigma Cost In the Bay Area, therapy can be expensive. But there are sliding scale options—CHC offers them, and many therapists do too. Just ask. As for stigma—that’s an outdated view. Therapy is now seen as just as important as going to the doctor for a skinned knee. 🟣 Finding the Right Therapist Finding the right therapist is key. Most therapists offer a free 15-minute interview to see if there’s a good fit. 🧠 Finding the Right Therapist for Twice-Exceptional (2e) Kids We encourage clients to take advantage of free 15-minute interviews with therapists. Don’t settle for the first recommendation—chemistry and fit matter deeply. Some therapists truly understand 2e kids and can see your child in ways others can’t. Interview therapists to ensure they’ve worked with twice-exceptional children. This can save time, frustration, and prevent misdiagnoses. For example, behaviors in 2e kids might be misread as OCD when they’re actually traits of autism. 🔁 It’s common to switch therapists. Go in knowing that the first match might not be the right one—and that’s okay. 📚 Learning Differences: School and Support Strategies 🏫 School Choice There are many types of learning differences, and support can come from different angles. Specialized schools like Armstrong School or Athena Academy (which also supports 2e kids) focus on language-based differences like dyslexia. You don’t need to attend a specialized school to get support—many schools offer accommodations. Public vs. Private Schools Type Support Options Public 504 Plans and IEPs for accommodations Private Must research ahead: Do they have learning therapists? How robust is their support? Some private schools assume that if your child needs more than basic accommodations, they shouldn’t be there. Be transparent during the application process. If a school rejects your child for their learning difference, it’s likely not the right fit. 💡 Feeling understood makes a huge difference. Kids need to know that learning differently doesn’t mean they’re not smart. 🧑‍🏫 Inclusive Accommodations Example At Keys School, accommodations were offered to all students—not just those pulled out of class. Therapists worked with groups, creating a gentle, inclusive environment. Kids with learning differences received support without being singled out. 📖 Academic Support Outside of School Educational specialists are tutors who understand learning differences and tailor their teaching accordingly. They help kids grasp concepts in ways that match their learning style—unlike general tutors who may not be equipped for this. 🔍 Do your research. Don’t rely solely on recommendations—make sure the tutor understands how your child learns. Personal Example We had mixed experiences with math tutors for our daughter, who has ADHD and dysgraphia. Some tutors didn’t understand how to teach a child with those challenges. Tons of written work doesn’t help when writing is hard and focus is limited. What worked: a tutor who helped her translate her mental processing into structured writing—something most kids wouldn’t need. 🧠 Emotional Impact of Learning Differences Anxiety and low self-esteem often accompany learning differences. Early support can make a big difference—especially in managing anxiety. Kids are not their diagnosis. They have challenges, but also strengths. Support should address both their needs and their gifts. 🌈 Gender Nonconformity: Supporting the Journey Gender is a spectrum, and today’s generation understands that fluidity. There’s a difference between: Sex assigned at birth Gender identity Gender expression (how they dress, act, show up) Sexual orientation These are distinct and should be honored individually. 💔 Mental Health Risks Gender nonconforming kids face higher rates of: Mental health challenges Distress Suicidal ideation 👂 Listening and showing up with support is crucial. When kids have nuclear family support, their mental health outcomes are normal. Lack of support—or rejection—leads to increased risk. 🧭 Navigating the Journey You can’t blindly agree to everything your child wants in the moment—it’s a journey that unfolds over time. Therapists look for signs of: Persistence Insistence Consistency If your child shows these traits—especially as they grow older—it’s a strong indicator of a true identity. It’s not easy to be different, and kids understand that even at ages 10, 12, 14, or 16. If they’re consistent and insistent, there’s something real happening—and they need support. ⚖️ Legal and Medical Considerations Social transitioning may involve: Name and pronoun changes Gender marker updates Medical interventions may begin at puberty: Puberty blockers Cross-sex hormones Gender-affirming surgeries These decisions are complex and should be approached thoughtfully, with professional guidance and family support. 🌈 Supporting Gender Identity The identity that a child feels is authentically theirs can vary widely. Some kids want to change a lot. Others don’t need to change anything—they’re just happy to show up and identify as they are. It’s important not to presume or lead them too much. Instead, take their lead at every step and simply be there. 💬 The Parent Journey Having personally gone through this, I can say: parents and loved ones really have to work through their own process. It’s not easy. There’s often a sense of loss or grief. There are persistent questions—especially with younger children—about whether to share their identity and what the consequences might be. For example: If you haven’t shared it and someone finds out in an untoward way, it can be shocking. On the other hand, some kids may not be able to be stealth. They may not have a choice depending on whether they’ve decided to live as a different identity in the same school or community. These are important considerations if your child is exhibiting signs or expressing discomfort in their own skin. ❓ Important Questions to Consider As we wrap up, here are some key reflections: This is a process—for you, your child, and everyone around you. Get the help you need as a parent. Adapt as your child evolves. Their needs may change month to month or year to year. 🧪 Evaluations and School Support Schools may ask for updated evaluations every three years to refresh accommodations. Some schools, like Nueva, require specific tests (e.g., IQ tests) as part of the admissions process. There are many resources available: Teachers and school staff Individual therapists and evaluators Online support groups and parent communities Examples include: The Dalmana group Private gender-oriented Facebook groups for local families 🎯 Prioritizing Support Ask yourself: What do I want to prioritize? What will have the most impact for my child? You don’t have to do everything at once. It’s okay to be sequential. It’s okay to work in parallel if that suits you better. Be open and flexible as your child’s journey unfolds. Be there with them. Help them discover and support their identity. 🧠 How You Learn Best Think about how you best absorb information: Some people want to read everything online (that was me). Others prefer hand-holding or direct advice. Some want their doctor to say, “Here’s what you need to do.” Just reflect on how you learn best—and use that to guide how you support your child. 🤝 Final Thoughts and Q&A We’re happy to take questions. Just a reminder: neither Lauren nor I are medical or psychological professionals. We’re parents who have spent a lot of time, effort, and emotion navigating this journey for our own children. We care deeply about sharing what we’ve learned and helping others. We’re not here to diagnose or prescribe. We’re here to offer: Thoughts Coaching Resource ideas 🧭 What Parent Resource Advisors Do Lauren: What we do is meet with parents—usually those at the beginning of their journey or at a crossroads. Some have a diagnosis, some don’t. We listen to what’s going on with their child and family. We consider how they best take in information. Then we create a curated resource list tailored to their child’s needs. We work with families: In coaching relationships As things come up in their journey We offer different packages: One-off sessions Multi-month support until the child is settled Carmen: We’re flexible. Some families don’t have a lot to spend—and that’s okay. We’re not trying to break anyone’s bank. If you just want an hour or two to get started, we can help with: Top three action steps Therapist recommendations Domain-specific ideas Lauren is a certified coach and can offer ongoing coaching if desired. 💸 Free and Low-Cost Resources Q: What if you don’t have time or money? A: Great question. Here are some ideas: 📨 Join the REEL Email Group You can ask questions and get directed to resources. It’s a great way to connect with other parents. We’ll post the link in the chat. 👥 Parent Support Groups There’s a free group for parents of neurodivergent older teens and young adults. We’ll share that link too. 🌐 Online Resources Understood.org : Excellent for parenting tips and podcasts. Tilt Parenting: Hundreds of podcasts and a supportive community. Bright & Quirky: Low-cost membership (~$40/month) or free access options. 🏥 CHC (Children’s Health Council) Offers free caregiver support groups for: Sensory processing ADHD Social skills Mental health These groups are led by parents and provide a space to connect and learn. Let me know if you’d like this entire transcript turned into a downloadable guide, blog series, or educator toolkit. I can also help you build a resource dashboard or visual map based on these themes! Final Thoughts and Extensive Q&A We’re happy to take questions. Just a reminder: neither Lauren nor I are medical or psychological professionals. We’re parents who have spent a lot of time, effort, and emotion navigating this journey for our own children. We care deeply about sharing what we’ve learned and helping others. We’re not here to diagnose or prescribe. We’re here to offer: Thoughts Coaching Resource ideas 🧭 What Parent Resource Advisors Do Lauren: What we do is meet with parents—usually those at the beginning of their journey or at a crossroads. Some have a diagnosis, some don’t. We listen to what’s going on with their child and family. We consider how they best take in information. Then we create a curated resource list tailored to their child’s needs. We work with families: In coaching relationships As things come up in their journey We offer different packages: One-off sessions Multi-month support until the child is settled Carmen: We’re flexible. Some families don’t have a lot to spend—and that’s okay. We’re not trying to break anyone’s bank. If you just want an hour or two to get started, we can help with: Top three action steps Therapist recommendations Domain-specific ideas Lauren is a certified coach and can offer ongoing coaching if desired. 💸 Free and Low-Cost Resources Q: What if you don’t have time or money? A: Great question. Here are some ideas: 📨 Join the REEL Email Group You can ask questions and get directed to resources. It’s a great way to connect with other parents. We’ll post the link in the chat. 👥 Parent Support Groups There’s a free group for parents of neurodivergent older teens and young adults. We’ll share that link too. 🌐 Online Resources Understood.org : Excellent for parenting tips and podcasts. Tilt Parenting : Hundreds of podcasts and a supportive community. Bright & Quirky: Low-cost membership (~$40/month) or free access options. 🏥 CHC (Children’s Health Council) Offers free caregiver support groups for: Sensory processing ADHD Social skills Mental health These groups are led by parents and provide a space to connect and learn. 🧠 Self-Education and Domain-Specific Resources There are many great resources available for self-education. If there's a particular domain you're interested in, look for organizations affiliated with that topic. You can do a lot of this research on your own. 🧩 Twice-Exceptional Kids and Missed Diagnoses Anne asked a question about twice-exceptional kids—particularly those with dyslexia or dysgraphia. These kids often fall into a gap. Their gifts can mask their challenges, and vice versa. They may not qualify for gifted programs or special education, even though they need both. Anne’s child, now in college, experienced this. She mentioned IDA (International Dyslexia Association) as a helpful resource, especially for understanding the strengths of dyslexia. 🧭 Resources for Older Students While not our area of expertise, here are some suggestions: Summit Center : Known for identifying “stealth dyslexia.” Dr. Marcy Schwartz : Offers Thrive College Counseling for students with learning differences. Schwab Learning Center at Stanford : Supports students with dyslexia and ADHD on campus. 🧪 Why Assessments Matter A good assessment is essential—especially before junior year of high school. It helps you understand how your child’s brain functions. It identifies strengths and needs. It guides you toward colleges that offer the right support. Every college has a Disability Resource Center : With an official diagnosis, students can receive accommodations. Navigating college with support is key to success. There are also coaches, educational therapists, and psychologists who can help. 💡 Acceptance and Joy in Learning Assessment leads to: Acceptance—by both the child and the parents. Accommodations that support success (however you define it). One speaker from the Stanford Neurodiversity Project shared: He’s dyslexic and now publishes comic books. He started turning assignments into comic books and learned much more. His grades improved once he leaned into what brought him joy. 💖 Reassurance for Parents It’s easy to beat yourself up when you discover learning differences late. Don’t blame yourself. Schools often miss these signs too. Be kind to yourself—self-care is essential. 🏫 Private Schools and Multiple Challenges Q: Do traditional private schools shy away from kids with multiple challenges (e.g., ADHD and SPD)? A: It depends. On the child On the extent of the challenge On how much it shows up in the classroom On the teacher’s capacity and the specific year Some schools are more open to twice-exceptional (2e) students: School Name Notes Helios Known for supporting 2e students Burkhart School Founded with understanding of giftedness and challenges Tessellations Often open to kids with asynchronous development Synapse Originally a 2e school; now has a literacy center and outsourced assessments Traditional schools may screen for challenges during admissions. Even if a child is academically qualified, they may not be admitted due to behavioral or support concerns. 🤝 Teamwork with Schools If you expect the school to solve everything, you’ll likely be disappointed. Approach it as a team effort . Be transparent about your child’s needs. Share what support systems you already have in place (e.g., medication, therapy, behaviorist). Schools may be more open if they see you’re proactive and collaborative. 🏫 High School Options in the Peninsula For those looking at high schools: Menlo School : Offers support for ADHD and dyslexia; academically rigorous. Kehillah Jewish High School  and Mid-Peninsula High School : Focused on supporting students with learning differences. 🧠 Finding the Right Assessors for 2e Kids Christina asked about assessors who specialize in identifying twice-exceptional (2e) kids and explaining their challenges in depth. Her child completed an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) but still lacks clarity. The writing test couldn’t be completed due to avoidance, and there are concerns about executive functioning and auditory processing. 🧪 Types of Assessments Psycho-educational assessments : Often used in school settings. Neuropsychological assessments : More holistic, covering brain-based challenges, giftedness, sensory issues, and formal diagnoses. 🏥 Recommended Evaluation Centers Here are some trusted centers in the Bay Area: Center Name Location Notes Children's Health Council Palo Alto Offers sliding scale; free consultations available Morrissey-Compton Palo Alto Educational services and ongoing support Abby Neuropsychology Palo Alto Known for comprehensive evaluations Sutcliffe Clinic Los Altos Higher cost; thorough assessments Summit Center Multiple sites Specializes in twice-exceptional children There are also many individual psychologists who offer tailored assessments depending on your location and goals. 🧏 Auditory Processing & Executive Functioning Auditory Processing : Can be assessed by audiologists or speech therapists. A common test is TAPS-4  (Test of Auditory Processing Skills). Executive Functioning : Neuropsychs or educational therapists can guide which tools are appropriate. Start with a consultation to determine which tests are needed—no child should go through every test. The right professional will choose tools based on your specific questions and concerns. 🧾 Insurance and Funding Questions Diagnoses like autism or ADHD may be covered by insurance. Twice-exceptionality (2e)  is not a medical diagnosis (not in DSM-5), so it’s not covered directly. Some evaluators understand 2e well, even if it’s not formally recognized. 💰 Public Funding Options Questions were raised about using CalABLE  or other public funds for evaluations and services. This is an emerging area, and the group acknowledged a need to learn more and possibly present on it in the future. 💬 Final Thoughts and Encouragement Word of mouth is powerful—ask other parents and professionals for recommendations. Not all reports are created equal. Talk to evaluators about their process and what they’ll share with you. Try a few people out and see who feels like the right fit. 📬 Contact and Support Carmen and Lauren offered to share their emails in the chat so parents can: Reach out with specific questions Get curated resource lists Receive coaching or hand-holding through the process 🏫 Final Resource Mention There was a mention of a new high school in San Francisco for neurodivergent learners, referenced by Dr. Melanie Hayes in a previous event. The name couldn’t be found during the session, but it will be followed up on.

Strengths & Struggles Map Instructions:  Draw two overlapping circles, similar to a Venn diagram. One circle is labeled "Strengths"  and the other "EF Struggles."  In the overlap, identify the areas where gifted traits and   executive functioning challenges intersect —this is often where 2e complexity resides, and we can begin to strategize scaffolding that works with a child’s strengths. (Refer back to the Example Strengths and Struggles Map for examples.) Circle 1: Strengths Strong verbal expression Quick thinker Highly creative Deep interest in storytelling and mythology Big vocabulary and love of words Insightful perspective for their age Circle 2: Struggles Forgets steps when writing essays Avoids starting writing assignments (task initiation) Loses materials, forgets instructions Interrupts often in class Overwhelmed by multi-step tasks Struggles with transitions between subjects Overlap (Strengths + Struggles): Comes up with brilliant ideas but can’t organize them on paper Verbally persuasive but struggles to listen or wait their turn Intense curiosity leads to rapid shifting from one idea to another This map is to help parents and educators see the nuance. A child’s EF challenges aren’t separate from their strengths; they often live in the same place. Use this to help you identify areas where you can build supports that work   with   a child’s strengths , not against them. Practice this at home using this printable Self-Reflection Strengths and EF Executive Functioning Struggles 2e Map:

By Jenna Segall, 5th Grade Teacher, Palo Verde Elementary School, Palo Alto (Check out REEL's list of suggested books for all grades featuring neurodiverse characters or themes.) I remember reading this poem a few years back, written by autistic, then 5th grader, Ben Giroux. I was so moved by his incredible self-awareness and the raw vulnerability that he shared so beautifully on the page. Immediately, I thought of my own 5th grade students and was eager to share Ben’s work as a mentor text, to motivate and inspire my students’ own Memoir writing. “When children cannot find themselves reflected in the books they read or when the images they see are distorted, negative, or laughable, they learn a powerful lesson about how they are devalued in the society of which they are a part." - Rudine Sims Bishop For years, educators have been inspired by the work of Dr. Rudine Sims Bishop (and many others!), working to build classroom libraries that include characters that are as diverse as the students within. Research supports that reading literature helps students to think critically, develop empathy and compassion, and form relationships and connections with others. Books help us to better understand ourselves and each other because it affords us the opportunity to explore and celebrate not only our commonalities, but also our differences. “Different, not less.”- Dr. Temple Grandin Recently, my 5th graders and I were incredibly lucky to have been invited to an author visit with the amazing Dr. Temple Grandin. I decided to make this an opportunity to “Explore Neurodiversity” with my class, reading aloud a few of my favorite picture books spotlighting neurodiverse characters and introducing my students to Dr. Grandin before her presentation. I am always so impressed with the candor and curiosity of this age group, eager to engage in sometimes difficult conversations and challenging our misconceptions to better understand. The work is messy but with such amazing reward. Picture books give us the common experience and language in order to launch into deeper, more meaningful discourse. Because my class and I had built a foundation of exploring neurovariance together, they appreciated Dr. Grandin for being authentically Dr. Grandin. They were able to connect with her and be inspired by her message in ways that I honestly don’t know that they were ready for before our conversations leading to her visit. Finding books that include neurodivergent characters can prove challenging. Neurodiversity is underrepresented in children’s literature but, thankfully, the number of books published with neurodivergent characters is increasing. Through intentional selection of high- quality literature, kids like Ben Giroux can start to feel more visible and thus, better connected to their peer community. There are several fantastic picture books that can be used across grade levels to spark conversation. Here are a few “tried and true” resources for sourcing great books: http://ourstory.diversebooks.org https://bookshop.org/shop/raisingluminaries https://bookshop.org/lists/kids-books-celebrating-neurodiversity https://www.anovelmind.com/database Looking for picture books to spark conversation in your classroom? Here are some of my personal favorite picture books featuring neurodivergent characters: Just Ask: Be Different. Be Brave. Be You. by Sonia Sotomayor and Rafael Lopez The World Needs Who You Were Made to Be by Joanna Gaines The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig Why Johnny Doesn’t Flap: NY is OK! by Clay Morton and Gail Morton The Girl Who Thought In Pictures: The Story of Temple Grandin by Julia Finley Mosca How to Build a Hug:Temple Grandin and Her Amazing Squeeze Machine by Amy Guglielmo and Jacqueline Tourville Uniquely Wired by Julia Cook You’re So Clumsy Charley by Jane Binnion Noah Chases the Wind by Michelle Worthington My Brother Charlie by Holly Robinson Peete A Friend Like Simon by Kate Gaynor The Girl Who Heard Colors by Marie Harris Thank you, Mr. Falker by Patricia Palacco Empathy isn’t an innate skill. It must be nurtured with the same intentionality and care as all learned abilities. When we thoughtfully create opportunities for students to expand their experience and gain new perspectives, we help them get along and work together more effectively, both in the classroom and in life. We connect to one another through our stories. Shared stories that feature neurodiverse characters help more students feel valued as we recognize beauty in the uniqueness of one other. As educators, it is our goal and responsibility to help students better understand themselves and the world around them. We must, therefore, also seek out opportunities to explore the wonders of neurovarient thinking with our students. About Jenna Jenna Segall is a 5th grade teacher at Palo Verde Elementary School in Palo Alto, where she has taught for the last 6 years. Prior to that, Mrs. Segall taught 1st grade for 11 years. She has also served for many years as Principal for Palo Alto Unified School District's Elementary Summer School programs. Herself a lifelong learner, Mrs. Segall holds a BS in Human Development in Family Studies from the University of Rhode Island, Masters of Arts in Teaching from Pacific University, and a Masters of Arts in Education Administration from Santa Clara University. In addition, Jenna spends a week each summer, attending Reading and Writing Institutes at Teachers College at Columbia University. Mrs. Segall brings many innovative programs to Palo Verde to help showcase the strengths and talents of all her students, including Genius Hour, the first classroom Maker Space and a school-wide favorite “March Madness Tournament of Books”. When she's not busy coming up with fun new ways to engage her 5th grade students, you'll find her reading, exploring destinations near and far with husband Dan and their beloved dog, Simon, and daydreaming of Paris!

Many schools create wonderful field trips, camping excursions, and out-of-town expeditions to facilitate group bonding, enhance the curriculum, and provide hands-on experiences. While these trips are exciting for many students, some neurodivergent students don’t relish them. The challenges for these students range from loud and overwhelming locations and transportation to large group activities, long periods of sustained attention to unfamiliar experiences, and meeting a lot of new people in a short period of time. How can schools help neurodivergent students thrive on school outings? We asked our community about   what has helped their students succeed. Here are their top suggestions. Don’t overload the day  - Many schools take kids to distant locations involving flights and hotels. Often, the itinerary will be jam-packed to take advantage of limited time in the destination and involve visiting every key site, having kids do 12 hours of touring or more (sometimes even late into the evening, with extra activities - even dance parties! - at night). However, many neurodivergent kids require downtime built into the schedule to decompress. Add dedicated rest times and reduce the number of activities, or give kids the ability to opt out of parts of the day in order to rest or return to the hotel early, allowing the more energetic group to continue with activities. Give choices when possible  - One way to address the overload is to provide multiple choices for kids when possible. For example, one group goes on a long hike but for those who don’t wish to do it, there is a quiet activity they can choose instead. One group visits the Air & Space Museum, while another visits the National Art Gallery. This also allows all kids to choose options that suit their interests and energy regulation needs. Build up over time  - Think about scaffolding students’ comfort with trips over time, both within a school year and as each grade progresses. For instance, start with a nearby day trip, then build to a day trip at a greater distance, slowly working up to one night away, and then multiple nights away as the students get older and can build on past successes.  Preview the Trip  - Many kids will benefit from having a visual overview of an upcoming excursion. At one family’s school, the teachers create a slideshow with many details about upcoming trips that the entire class walks through together. This is shared well in advance and multiple times. The teachers show photos or videos of what the destination will look like (i.e., lodging, key sites) the schedule of the day(s), the sleeping arrangements, plan for food, what to bring, etc. Every detail is discussed and questions are answered. Sometimes, when possible for more local outings, parents may take the child to the location in advance of the trip for a preview. Ask the student what concerns they have  - For students who seem concerned about an upcoming trip, meet with them (and potentially their parents) to find out what is causing the anxiety. Sometimes there is one activity the student is concerned about. Think flexibly. Can an adult sit with them outside of this activity? Is there another option? How can the trip be modified to make the student more comfortable? If food is the concern, can they bring their own? If traveling on a van or bus is overwhelming, can the school offer smaller/quieter transportation (e.g. a parent volunteer’s car) to reduce the sensory load? Normalize anxiety  - One parent shared, “ The teachers and staff make clear that many of the kids will feel anxiety, and that there are always kids who have their first night away during one of the experientials, so they normalize that for parents.” One of our members shared that on her son’s first night camping, his gameplan was to sleep with mom at a local hotel. However, when he heard in circle time that other kids were even more anxious than he was, but they were still camping, he agreed to give it a try to great success. Give them a go-to adult - Any anxious child should know who they can go to in the event they feel overwhelmed or anxious and need support or a break. Linking them with a trusted adult is critical. As one parent shared, “We went to a parent participation school and would ask a parent who was going to be a buddy. Just keep an eye out for the kid and help arrange anything that was needed. An extra shower, a walk back to the bathroom at an inconvenient moment, a snack at a crucial moment.” Keep in mind that sometimes it may be appropriate for the go-to adult to be the child’s parent. For some children, having their parent attend as a chaperone reduces their anxiety and allows them to participate. For some children, having a parent present creates more challenges. Each case is different but this is worth considering when possible.  Be flexible with student needs - Most field trips don’t allow students to use their phone or to bring a toy. However, if a student needs to call home once a day, hug a stuffie, wear headphones, or listen to music in order to be successful, these should be allowed. This is a great way for students to learn to “cope ahead” - to understand what they need to be successful and to self-advocate. Consider flexibility in the rules in order to help the child participate. Plan for growth over time  - Sometimes a child is not yet ready to attend a multi-night trip without their parents. Can their first trip be for just one night or with their parent attending? Can you make a plan over time as the student becomes more comfortable with school trips so that they can be more independent? With each subsequent trip, you may be able to slowly fade parent support and increase participation. As one parent noted, “My own child progressed from sleeping in a tent with me on one camping trip, to sleeping in a tent with friends with me nearby the next, and finally he attended the last camping trip without me there at all!” With advance planning and flexibility, you can help make neurodivergent students feel comfortable and enjoy school trips. Tips from a local school trip leader In addition to hearing from parents, we reached out to a leader from a local school with a deep foundation in experiential learning who brings years of experience supporting neurodivergent students on a variety of excursions. Her advice mirrors a lot of what our families note as most useful - and then some.  Leaving open time is the most important element in trip planning  - If a student is flooded or has an issue during one component of a trip, make sure you have the staffing and time to work with that kid. Be mindful of what you’re trying to accomplish - make sure you leave a lot of buffer time to follow the energy of the group and the needs of each child. Do less and do it extremely well  - For example, the school used to do a field trip on the way to their camp site. The kids would arrive at the campsite exhausted. So, the school leaders took a step back to think about what they wanted to accomplish, and realized their main goal is community building and participation. Given this, they removed the field trip and allowed tent building to be the community building activity. This gave the group time and energy to focus on teamwork. When given the time and space, kids are able to access a program and have the calm to be able to do it. Consider your goal  - Is your goal to hit every museum in town? Some kids can’t access that. If the goal is engagement and participation instead of exposure, slow it down. Give kids the opportunity to go deep. For example, on a class trip to Washington, DC, the leaders planned to visit the larger, more taxing activity in the morning and then planned for less structure and more choices in the afternoon. Have a secret option  - On a recent trip to Boston, trip leaders gave students three options for different places to visit - a ship museum, a tea party museum, or an MIT lab. There was enough staff available for a secret option - stay back at the hotel. It was the last afternoon of the trip so if a child was at a breaking point, they could be pulled aside and offered the secret option. As another example, on a camping trip when one child was too homesick to tackle a hike, the leaders arranged for her to stay back at the campsite to rest and regroup. Design the program with escape hatches  - Make sure there is enough staffing so you don’t stretch the group too far - plan “escape hatches” for situations where an anticipated problem may arise and be ready for unexpected difficulties. While you can anticipate some experiences that may overwhelm students, sometimes unexpected triggers emerge. For instance, on a recent trip to Angel Island, some children had a deep emotional response to the suffering of the immigrants who had been forced to stay in jail-like conditions. A staff member sat outside to provide a safe space for those students while the rest of the group completed the tour. Offer choices  - To plan for the many types of neurodivergent kids, offer choices. Some kids need lots of physical activity and some are overwhelmed by it - and don't forget the “secret choice.” When traveling, offer a few destination options. When hiking, you can offer a mild (short/easy) or spicy (long/hard) option. Involve students in planning  - In addition to previewing activities, get students involved in planning trips. They can help select activities, research them, preview them, and understand the expectations of participating in each.  Plan for anxiety. While previewing is a great time to normalize travel anxiety upfront, the educator suggests talking about parts of the trip that might be more difficult, in an age-appropriate way. For instance, “camping is in tents” (is intense) with younger students (even kindergarteners!). She tells them, “If you’re cold at night, your friends will help you.” This teaches kids it’s okay to ask for help if they need it—and to be a helper to others. Offering choices enables you to ask for participation at group activities  - It may not be realistic to ask neurodivergent kids to be present for ALL group activities ALL day, so prioritize the most important activities within a trip. For example, in Washington, DC, the leaders’ priority was for all students to visit the Holocaust Museum. This meant they didn’t plan another activity before it. And, a staff member sat in the lobby to scaffold kids who were overwhelmed, recognizing that sitting in the lobby with their feelings could be a student’s authentic way of participating. Then, in the afternoon, students were offered fun choices such as the Air and Space Museum or an Art Museum and some elected to return to the hotel to rest. Neurodivergent kids experience activities differently - They may shut down or run away if they feel overwhelmed. If they need something, it’s important that they know they can ask for it and be heard. For instance, if they are overwhelmed or anxious and can’t sit in a circle with others, it should be ok both for them and for the group for them to ask to sit or stand away from others. If they can’t make eye contact while a leader is giving instructions, find another way for them to signal they’ve heard the information, such as a thumbs up, fist bump, or nod. Grow personal responsibility over time - For example, food and eating preferences can be a challenge for some neurodivergent children when traveling. For this school, one child only wanted to eat ground beef on camping trips. The first trip, the leaders brought ground beef and offered it at every meal. The second trip, he helped cook it. The following trip he bought the beef and made sure it was in the cooler and cooked it for himself and others. Each child will have a different path, but giving them control creates a sense of calm and trust. With a bit of flexibility, anticipating challenges, and involving students in planning trips, neurodivergent students can  successfully engage in school outings. You will likely find that ALL students benefit from having more choices, slowing down, and exploring more deeply.

During our July 2022 parent support group with PHP, we were very lucky to feature long-time REEL parent Emon Reynolds, who spoke about her strategies for ensuring a strong start to the school year for her twice-exceptional children. As a parent of four kids from ages 10 to 17, she shared helpful advice, tips and wisdom for parents of 2e learners of all ages. We’ve captured some of the highlights below. Before jumping into the school year, review these powerful mantras; revisit them whenever you need a boost throughout the year Take a deep breath. I am not alone. My child is not broken. This year can be better. Grace and mercy everyday. Always ask! The worst they can do is say “No.” What I learn will help my child. I am enough! Create a one-pager about your child for their new teachers. Keep the document brief—remember, this is not your last conversation, but a starting point. Be sure to include a photo of your child happily involved with one of their interests; it engages teachers’ interest and sparks their curiosity to learn more. In your one-pager, reflect on what worked and didn’t work last year. Make sure to include the child’s input, because teachers don’t always have the bandwidth to seek each child’s perspective. If your child has trouble writing their portion on their own, you can dictate for them or even record them and then transcribe it yourself. Share your child’s diagnosis if you have one so that the educators know who your child is and can put certain behaviors in perspective, especially if things may escalate. It has helped my child learn to trust others when someone can see them and respond to them for who they truly are and not the misinterpretation of their behavior. However, check in with your child to see what they think is okay to share with their teachers. Email the student one-pager to each of your child’s teachers. Explain how your child’s challenges may impact their class specifically. For example: “When my child gets very excited about a science lab, you may see all of that energy come out as disruptive behavior. To calm them down, have them take a one minute break outside.” “In English, when my child is very excited about a book, it can be very difficult for them to put it down. It will help you and them if you give them several warnings before transitions.” Tour the school and ask to meet your teachers before the school year begins. You can add this to your IEP as well. If your child has an IEP, I’ve found IEP meetings are often more helpful than parent teacher conferences especially in high school; schedule them as often as you need them throughout the year. Think about holding an IEP meeting 30 days into the school year to make sure the year is starting off in the right direction. In secondary schools, there is a tendency for schools to tell parents not to intervene and to let the child be independent; however, 2e kids may need more guardrails at the start of the year until they’re ready for more independence. Don’t feel bad about asking for time for your kid! IEPs in secondary school allow for all teachers to come together—including art, PE, etc.—that don’t always get to learn how your child’s challenges affect their classes. For instance, with today’s academic expectations, writing challenges can appear in any class, even PE and electives. Build a positive, productive relationship with your child’s teachers so that when you approach them they don’t see you as always coming to them with a problem or asking for things. Remember that teachers have a lot of classroom challenges in addition to learning how to support your child. Good implementation comes from having good collaboration and communication. Find your allies—for instance, the person on campus (librarian, front office manager, PE teacher, case manager, resource officer) that your child feels comfortable going to in a crisis, who understands your child, can speak to teachers on their behalf when necessary, who can give them a “safe space” to take a break and who your child can share wins with. It only takes one person to make a huge difference! And remember to share your child’s voice. Include them whenever it’s appropriate. It’s their journey. Their input is so important. Please note this caveat from Emon: These suggestions work best when you and your child are not in crisis mode, not in the middle of new assessments, or already know that you’ll be leaving the school because the environment isn’t a fit for your child. Related REEL event recordings: Creating Your Student Intro One-Sheet 2e IEP/504 Support / Working the System: Tap Into Public Schools for Assessment & Support for 2e Learners Print out these mantras and keep them nearby:

On Sept 19, 2023, REEL hosted a panel discussion entitled “ What Can You Ask Your School For? ” Emon Reynolds shared creative accommodations she has requested and what has worked and not worked. Amber Wilburn discussed parents rights in this process and the guide to IEPs for 2e students that she is creating in partnership with REEL. Neuropsychologist Mark Westerfield shared school supports he recommends for 2e students in his neuropsych evaluations. We also conducted a crowd-sourcing exercise to generate a list of ideas across various challenges, strengths, and K-12 grade levels. Thanks to everyone who contributed to the accommodations Padlet . You can continue to add your ideas! Here is a summary of some of the great ideas our community shared for supporting 2e neurodivergent learners: Writing/Dysgraphia If the lesson isn't learning to write, allow alternate ways to show mastery - such as graphic novel, slide show, skit, etc Allow speech to text, scribing Allow mind mapping software such as MindManager for helping with the writing process. Leverage online or computer-based graphic organizers such as Creately rather than physical organizers that can tax handwriting skills. Allow student to choose writing instruments (gel pens over pencils) for all subjects (i.e. for math, students cross out rather than erase). Eliminate timed written assessments Note taking assistance/notes provided Allow audio-recording of lectures Allow to take photo of "board" vs writing notes Using photos to save posters and groupwork for later work. Using multi-sensory techniques for kids with reading challenges Executive Functioning Provide rubric and examples of completed work Include visual organizers of the day, calendars of the week/month, with due dates, check-in clues, etc for the full class. Provide students with a single location for work submission, grade check in, homework requirements, etc. Planner and assignment completion check ins Chunking larger assignments into smaller pieces Providing checklists for multi-step assignments Allow digital submitting of assignments- at any grade level- once found, take a picture and email it in- done. No follow up steps and there is a record of things turned in. Teacher check in before independent work Anxiety When possible, give the student a preview of what particular work is coming the next day/week Allow "self-breaks" from class to take deep breaths, take a walk, get a drink of water, etc. when the student is feeling overwhelmed Avoid "cold calling" on a student for answers, to check "if they are listening', etc. Instead, let the child take the lead by raising their hand or observing quietly. Note early signs of dysregulation and check in to problem solve/offer support as soon as possible Provide a choice when an assignment topic induces anxiety or is emotionally charged. Using Strengths/Interests Allow student to do research / read / write in area of interest Allow student to show their strength by making them an expert about their favorite topic so kids come to them, or they teach a math game to the class, etc - a time of day they get to show what they're good at Allow multiple methods for demonstrating mastery, for example a video, a paper, a class presentation, a song, etc. Physical education support/alternatives Attention/Boredom Check in 1:1 after assigning work to ensure student understanding Weave student interests into assignments Allow for sensory strips, wobble chairs, quiet fidgets, doodles, standing desks, etc for all students. Allow students to dive deeper into materials if interest and ability follow. For example, if the class assignment is on the cell, allow the student to talk about the differences between animal and plant cells. Allow students to test out or telescope subjects where they have already gained mastery. In these areas, allow students to dive deeper via independent study. Frequent movement breaks Testing in a separate room Preferred seating Social skills/ social anxiety Provide structured activities during recess Allow a choice of working alone or in partners Explicitly outline roles and goals in group work Lunch bunch or lunch clubs that kids can create by topic of interest Play helper at lunch Pragmatic speech support group Emotional Regulation Do an emotion / energy check in with student to understand what they may be able to handle that day Use a visual (e.g., notecard, coping "toolbox", etc.) to remind student of self-regulation strategies they can use. Communicate with the child's school counselor/therapist to develop this visual. Pre-planned breaks each day with a trusted adult in a safe/preferred environment for the student. Slow Processing Shorten the assignment when mastery has already been shown (e.g. skip some math problems) Don't give timed tests like "Multiply 50 problems in 1 minute" Give extra time on tests Repeat/rephrase student responses Provide written directions/instructions Provide a copy of class notes/PowerPoints Allow for extra time to respond to questions verbally Sensory Allow student to leave loud classroom environment for a safe, quiet space for breaks Flexible seating (sitting, standing, lying down, etc.) Noise canceling headphones /earbuds allowed as needed Auditory Processing: ask for teacher to provide written assignments (not just verbal communication)