Signs Your Child Might Be Twice-Exceptional

Smart but Underachieving Child

Do you have a bright child who struggles to show it in an academic setting? Does your child love to think about numbers or discuss advanced math concepts but resists doing a simple math assignment? Have they memorized elaborate sequences of historical events but can’t remember to turn in their homework? Does your child conduct deep, well-reasoned debates with you but struggle with reading or writing? These are hallmarks of a twice-exceptional (2e) child.

2e students have exceptional talents while also experiencing learning differences such as ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dysgraphia, or anxiety. They often have deep passion and strengths and shine in those areas, but are sometimes seen as lazy or obstinate outside of their interests.

Academic Clues

Most students perform fairly consistently with age-based academic expectations in areas like reading, writing, social development, and emotional regulation. Twice-exceptional learners, however, often have a jagged or asynchronous profile. For instance, a 2e student may have a vocabulary and reading level far above what’s typical for their age, while their social skills and emotional regulation may lag behind by several years.

Their asynchronous profile can lead to confusing classroom behaviors. A student might hold advanced conversations about a subject but be unable to complete related classwork. In some cases, a learner may excel so far beyond their peers in a favorite subject that struggles in other areas are mistakenly attributed to laziness. When you factor in challenges like executive functioning deficits, you may see a student who understands the material but struggles to complete or submit assignments on time.

Sometimes, a student’s deficits can overshadow their advanced skills. For example, a child may have extensive knowledge but struggle to get it down on paper. Other times, their advanced abilities can conceal underlying challenges, such as a student using an exceptional vocabulary and memory to compensate for difficulties with reading, a phenomenon sometimes called 'stealth dyslexia.'

Behavioral Clues

2e learners are often bored and frustrated because their understanding outpaces the work they are able to produce. For example, a student may have very advanced math reasoning, far ahead of age-based expectations, yet their math performance appears average. Deficits such as slow processing speed can make it difficult to complete repetitive, rote problems. While these students would be more engaged and challenged by advanced work, they may not be given such opportunities because of their lower performance on standard tasks.

A student who can discuss a topic in depth and demonstrate advanced understanding may become frustrated when they are consistently evaluated on their ability to write or manage assignments on time, rather than on the knowledge they actually possess.

These frustrations, especially when combined with traits such as sensory sensitivities often seen in autism, or impulsivity associated with ADHD, can lead to meltdowns or withdrawal at school. Long hours, constant reminders of areas of struggle, being pulled out of favorite subjects to focus on weaknesses, and additional after-school work targeting those same areas can all contribute to anxiety, depression, burnout, and further episodes of withdrawal or meltdowns.

Emotional/Social Signs

Social skills are often a challenge for 2e students. Many are years ahead of their peers in their areas of interest, which can lead them to speak at length about topics their classmates may not be interested in. Their interests may also be unusual or highly specific, like shark species or transportation routes and schedules, making it harder to connect with others. Additionally, social difficulties associated with autism, such as missing social cues, or ADHD, such as interrupting, can further complicate interactions.

Perfectionism is another common challenge for 2e learners. Because they often have advanced knowledge in certain areas, their ideas can exceed their current ability to execute them, leading them to work endlessly to bring the 'perfect' vision in their minds to life. Many 2e students have been praised as ‘smart’ from a young age and feel pressure to produce flawless work to live up to that reputation. At the same time, they are frequently told they aren’t meeting expectations in school, which can heighten their drive to meet external standards.

This gap between what a student knows and what they can demonstrate in school, combined with perfectionism, social challenges, sensory overload, and difficulties with executive functioning, often contributes to anxiety in 2e learners. They may also receive frequent negative feedback about their performance or behavior and can be particularly sensitive to criticism. On top of this, many 2e students spend much of their day 'masking’, trying to appear neurotypical, which is both exhausting and anxiety-provoking.

Home vs School Differences

Many 2e learners seem like a different person at home. Outside of the school day, they have more time to engage in their areas of strength and interest, which boosts self-esteem, motivation, and confidence. At home, they can create an environment that suits their need such as low noise, flexible schedules, frequent breaks, or even snuggling with a pet. In this supportive setting, working in their areas of strength, 2e learners often achieve remarkable things that may go unnoticed at school. For example, a student who struggles to turn in homework might be programming advanced software that wins science awards at home. Building a strong home-school partnership is critical for 2e learners. When their strengths, interests, and supportive environmental factors are incorporated into the school day, they can gain confidence and experience less anxiety while learning.

Next Steps for Parents

If this sounds like your child, welcome to the world of twice-exceptionality (2e)! With proper support, 2e students can reach their full potential, shine in their learning environment, and become amazing future contributors to society.

REEL has many resources for parents of 2e learners:

• Check out our Parent Toolkits - including the Beacon Kit, which helps parents better understand and connect with their twice-exceptional (2e) child.

• Join our online support group or Google group to connect with other parents of 2e learners.

• Join our expert speaker series or watch our recorded talks to learn more about 2e.

• If you’d like more personalized support, join our small facilitated groups or request a 1:1 consultation.

• Read REEL’s comprehensive guide to an IEP for 2e learners to get the school supports your child needs.

If your child’s challenges interfere with school, motivation, or emotional well-being, you can seek a neuropsychological evaluation either through a private psychologist or your school district.