Preparing for Back-to-School: Executive Functioning Systems for Parents of 2e Children

You’ve seen all the marketing: get your kids their new backpacks, water bottles, school supplies, etc. Influencers on Tiktok or Instagram focus on the “Top 5 Things Your Kids Should Do Before Back to School”. Where “Back to School” season fails is getting PARENTS ready for the transition back to school. 

For many families of twice-exceptional (2e) children, back-to-school isn't just busy. It's a period of heightened anxiety, increased executive functioning demands, sensory changes, emotional uncertainty, and constant transitions. While we spend a great deal of time preparing our children, parents often need executive functioning support just as much. 

The reality is that when parents are overwhelmed, disorganized, or constantly reacting to surprises, our children often feel those effects too. Creating systems at home isn't about becoming perfectly organized. It's about reducing unnecessary cognitive load so everyone has more capacity to manage the parts of the school year that can't be predicted. 

We have to model strong executive functioning skills and the good news is that if you spend a little time setting up your systems at home, maintenance of those systems becomes simpler and more sustainable throughout the school year. 

The rule is simple: everything in one place. 

There are 3 main domains for organization: organizing your time, your physical space, and your digital life. 

These systems aren't about creating a picture-perfect household. They're designed to support executive functioning: the mental processes responsible for planning, organization, working memory, flexible thinking, and self-regulation. 

For many neurodivergent families, reducing cognitive load can make everyday routines feel more manageable. Predictable routines often reduce anxiety, shared calendars can minimize unexpected transitions that may be particularly difficult for many 2e children, and external systems can provide important support for parents with ADHD or executive functioning challenges themselves. 

Perhaps most importantly, children learn executive functioning skills by watching adults use them. Narrating your planning, calendar checks, or problem-solving out loud gives your child a real-world model for managing their own responsibilities over time. 

Time Management Systems 

It may feel a little labor-intensive now, but trust me, you’ll feel more in control not having to check multiple pdf’s to figure out how your day is going to go. Here’s a simple checklist of what should go on your calendar before the year.

• School calendars (I can't stress this enough–we want to mitigate the anxiety of finding out that tomorrow is a short day or worse, no school at all.) 

• Sports schedule (including sign-up deadlines) 

• IEP or 504 Meetings 

• Educational therapy, occupational therapy, speech, counseling, or other support appointments 

• Planned recovery or decompression time after especially demanding school days

• Doctors’ appointments 

• Bus schedules 

• Dropoff/Pickup responsibilities 

• Family commitments and extracurriculars 

If multiple adults help support your child, consider using a shared calendar so everyone has access to the same information.  

Physical Management Systems 

Clear one area of clutter. I personally feel it’s unrealistic to have an “aesthetic home” (my house looks exactly like 3 little boys live here and we’ve made peace with that) but go ahead and clear one area. Physical clutter can increase visual distractions and cognitive load, making it harder to prioritize tasks and regulate attention—particularly for individuals with ADHD and other executive functioning differences. Research actually shows that college students clean their rooms and put away their laundry during finals–it’s not avoidance but rather creating mental space for what they’re being graded on. Set a 5 minute timer and accomplish what you can. Good enough. 

Clean or get a new backpack. Some families find that choosing a backpack with fewer compartments makes it easier for children to consistently locate papers and supplies. Fewer places to search may reduce executive functioning demands and decision fatigue. Other families may find different organizational systems work better—the goal is simply to create a system that's easy to maintain. Similarly, some students benefit from using a single binder with clearly labeled sections rather than multiple binders, while others do well with a different approach. Consider whether simplifying materials might reduce the number of decisions your child has to make throughout the day. 

Go through the pile of mail. Just do it. I guarantee it won’t take as long as you think. Time blindness is the inability to accurately predict how long something will take or “feel” time. Guess how long it’ll take and then time yourself to see if you were right. 

Digital Management System

When digitally “executive functioning” for yourself your time is best spent dealing with your email. See my tips below. I’ll also include some other things to do digitally if you want to really take it up a level after you deal with your email. 

Clean your email. Email often becomes the hidden source of cognitive overload for parents. Simplifying your inbox reduces the mental effort required to remember deadlines, forms, and school communication. Old emails add to your mental clutter, so taking a few quick steps to archive these can go a long way in mitigating stress! In Gmail: 

• Search in:inbox before:YYYY/MM/DD 

• Select all emails in view 

• Select all conversations that match this search and hit Archive. (If you have thousands of unread emails, this may take a few minutes for Gmail to catch up but don’t worry–it’s happening.) 

• Sort your email by read versus unread. When you do this, unread emails go to the top of your inbox and become a “to do” list in your inbox. 

• For the rest of the emails not archived in your purge, make quick decisions: Archive 

• Unsubscribe 

• Deal with it 

• Mark as unread (becomes your to do list) 

These systems also create more opportunities for collaborative problem solving when something inevitably doesn't go according to plan. If you want to go above and beyond, here are some other simple things you can set up that will help you later: 

Passwords list. Just decide where it’s going and start adding as you go. Your native browser on your computer isn’t a solution because we all know it’s wrong the majority of the time and you waste time resetting your password. Make sure you can access your list on your phone too. 

Create a bookmark bar that has important websites including: 

Your email 

Your calendar 

Your learner’s school portals 

Your banks 

Back-to-school season is challenging for every family, and no organizational system will eliminate all of the complexities that come with raising a twice-exceptional child. Every neurodivergent family develops routines that fit their unique strengths, challenges, and values. 

The goal isn't perfection. It's reducing unnecessary executive functioning demands so your family has more energy for what matters most: connection, flexibility, collaborative problem

solving, and helping your child recover from the many cognitive, emotional,social, and sensory demands of the school day. 

Remember that your systems can (and should) evolve. If something isn't working, adjust it. The best organizational system is the one your family can realistically maintain.

About the Author

Rachel Kapp, founder of Kapp Educational Therapy Group, grew up in Los Angeles. She graduated from the University of California, Berkeley, where she earned a Bachelor of Arts with Honors in Sociology and minored in Jewish Studies. Rachel began tutoring students in high school, eventually choosing to pursue a career in education. For over six years, Rachel was a lead preschool teacher where she gained a firm foundation in explicit teaching. Rachel has been a tutor in private practice since 2004, working with students in a variety of subjects including all levels of math, reading, history and writing. After working with so many types of students over the years and realizing she was passionate about building relationships with and helping students who learn differently, Rachel decided to become an educational therapist. She completed her coursework at the California State University, Northridge in December 2015 and Masters degree in December 2016. In her free time, Rachel loves spending time with her husband, Adam, her two sons, Elliot and Owen, and their dog, Fritzy, watching Cal Football, cooking for friends, and spinning. ​ Rachel is a Board Certified Member of the Association of Educational Therapists, an active participant in ongoing education through the International Dyslexia Association, and a member of Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD). Rachel is also trained in Wilson Reading Systems.