3 Back-to-School Strategies Every Parent of a 2e Child Should Try

Every year, as summer winds down, we start making lists.

School supplies. New backpacks. Schedules. Forms. Meet-the-teacher nights.

All of these things are important. But before you begin preparing for the school year, I'd encourage you to pause and ask yourself one simple question:

How do I hope my child feels by the end of this school year?

Not what grade you hope they earn. Not what class you hope they get into. Not even what skills you hope they master.

How do you hope they feel?

Maybe your word is confident. Maybe it's happy, connected, understood, empowered, curious, accepted, or capable.

Take a moment and write that word on a sticky note or a piece of paper. Put it somewhere you'll see it throughout the school year. Let it become your North Star. As parents of twice-exceptional and neurodivergent children, we make countless decisions throughout the year. We advocate in meetings, communicate with teachers, decide when to push and when to step back, and help our children navigate both challenges and successes. Having a clear vision of how we hope our child experiences the year can help guide those decisions.

One quote we often use at REEL comes from Dr. Yong Zhao:

"Human beings not only have the potential to be great in their own unique way, but also need to be great in their own unique way. They need to be great and relevant in order to be happy, to be psychologically healthy, and to have a strong sense of self-worth."

I love this reminder because it shifts our focus. Our children do not need to become someone else. They need opportunities to become more fully themselves. Our role is not simply to help them succeed in school, but to help them discover who they are, what they enjoy, what they are good at, and what helps them thrive.

1. Start by Seeing the Whole Child

One of the best places to begin is with the Whole Child Snapshot. This simple one-page tool introduces your child to teachers, counselors, and support staff by focusing on who they are as a whole person. Rather than beginning with challenges or accommodations, it begins with strengths, interests, what helps them learn, and the environments where they thrive.

It is a simple shift, but a powerful one.

When we change the way we talk about our children, we change the way the world sees them, and how they see themselves.

As educators begin to understand your child's strengths alongside their support needs, conversations become more collaborative, more hopeful, and ultimately more effective.

I also encourage you to complete the Whole Child Snapshot with your child. Use it as a conversation starter. Ask questions like:

• What are you really good at?

• What do you enjoy learning about?

• When does learning feel easier?

• When is it harder?

• What helps you do your best?

• What would you like your teacher to know about you?

These conversations are about much more than filling out a worksheet. They help children begin to understand themselves, recognize their own strengths, and identify the environments and supports that help them be successful. That self-understanding becomes the foundation for something even more important: self-advocacy.

2. Helping Children Find Their Voice

Research continues to reinforce the importance of teaching self-advocacy skills to neurodivergent learners. A 2025 literature review published in Frontiers in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry found that autistic adolescents and young adults who develop self-advocacy and self-determination skills experience better educational outcomes, stronger self-concepts, healthier relationships, greater persistence, and improved quality of life.

Self-advocacy is about much more than asking for accommodations. It begins with understanding yourself, recognizing your strengths, identifying what you need, and learning how to communicate those things to others. A child who can say, "I learn best when...", "I get stuck when...", or "It helps me when..." is beginning to build skills that will serve them throughout school and well into adulthood.

That is why we created this short video on strengths-based language, the Strength-Based Language Cheat Sheet, and our Student Voice & Self-Advocacy Scripts. Together, these tools help children first understand themselves, then learn how to communicate their strengths and support needs with confidence. The scripts begin with simple language for young children and gradually become more sophisticated through upper elementary, middle school, high school, and the transition into adulthood. As children grow, so does their understanding of themselves. Their confidence increases, their learning needs evolve, and the ways they advocate for themselves naturally become more nuanced.

Like any important life skill, self-advocacy develops over time. It grows through hundreds of small conversations, opportunities to reflect, and chances to practice using their voice in safe and supportive environments.

3. Keep Coming Back to Your Word

As the school year unfolds, come back to the word you wrote down.

When you're preparing for an IEP meeting, writing an email to a teacher, or helping your child through a difficult day, ask yourself:

Will this move us closer to my child feeling confident?

...connected?

...understood?

...capable?

If the answer is yes, you're moving in the right direction.

Preparing for school is about much more than buying supplies or organizing schedules. It is about helping our children understand who they are, recognize their strengths, communicate their needs, and discover that they have something valuable to contribute. When we begin there, we are preparing them not just for a successful school year, but for a lifetime of understanding themselves and confidently advocating for what they need.

That journey begins with one conversation, one strength, and one word.